Hi, I am in the Netherlands and here we have smartshops from where I buy kratom.
I tried it but it didn't help at all. Maybe I ate too little? I parachute them. I also tried half gram of them concentrates . I think it was 30x stronger them normal kratom.
Also tried the normal ones and nothing just stomach pain. Any recommendations on dosage and whatnot
Should I go to the general physical and ask about it?
I also didn't smoke 13 hours but then I fucked up..
Today I had s mental breakdown and stated crying....ehel smoking again after 9 hours....
I can't even last 24 hours....I don't know wbg. I hate it and k hate myself for doing it.i also have suicidal thoughs
I also have no money until salary(25th) but I have some diazepam 10mg, lyrica. 2 patches of 25/ug hour. And a patch of 12ug/hr.
I also have ketamine and 1g heroin
Everything I fail. My self-esteem dropped significantly.
I am thinking of either asking for pto or for a sick day.
Would it be enough for the withdrawals? Will I be able to go just on lyrica or should I smoke a bit before work?
They make lyrics patches? That’s new to me but it’s not a drug I like a whole lot though I hear it’s wonderful for opioid withdrawal and especially restless leg syndrome.
I am really very sorry for the pain and despair you are experiencing. I know it feels like it will never end or that it will never get better but it will. I used to get like that but it was mostly around when I was doing too much drugs. When I quit and got thru the withdrawal and got stabilized (in my case) I feel 1000x better and I ain’t ever told no lie or how does the saying go? You get what I’m saying tho right?
Even in the most hopeless of times, remember, the darkness cannot extinguish YOUR light. Be a light today.
I’m always available unless I’m sleeping or at work. What I’m saying is feel free to DM me if you ever need to talk. We support each other here and some here helped me get back to me and away from binges. So I say that to say I know how it feels. Many of us do.
We are all humans experiencing the suffering of addiction in our own way but there are uncanny stimuliarities in how we feel and what we go thru when struggling with it. Most anybody can help you in bluelight, just take what advice is given and test it against logic before acting on any advice because we all are human after all.
In regards to the kratom. It will help if it wasn’t a huge Fentanyl habit. I was thinking you had true heroin being in EU and all. Is it H or fentanyl?
And yeah I really don’t buy from smoke shops. Still idk sounds like you tried extract but again idk know the quality. Sounded like some homemade extract they were selling? I know it’s worked for me with subs just got to be too impractical dosing 4 times a day when I had to work at the same time so I went back in subs. But when I was in between jobs it worked great but I know I have some top level Kratom but I live in the USA so we have an overflowing market.
***Important: One of the biggest lies in the war on drugs in America I believe is that they teach in our rehabs that “you don’t have a choice, it wasn’t your fault,” or “ you will always be an addict” biggest lies ever told. And they DESTROY lives if people buy into them. They steal YOUR power if you buy their lies they are regurgitating because it’s mainstream methodologies (not evil intention). They are just the soldeirs following orders unknowingly.
You do have a choice. Do I tough it out and go thru the suffering of withdrawl and pain to be clean? Do I get help from a doctor ?(highly recommend for medication intervention depending on your countries set up)
Do I take my life? What will happen to me? What will happen to my loved ones if I do? (Please do not) Will that pain go away? Or will it just transfer to those that loved me? See energy doesn’t disappear like that. That pain transfers. It doesn’t go away. We just pass it onto our loved ones if we kill ourselves. It ruins some lives because they can’t handle the pain like we can. Yes it nearly breaks us, but we are used to it. They cannot and will not handle it. It will break them.
So I say, you have a choice and you have more power than you think. Don’t give your power away anymore. No more! No more lies! No more telling yourself “I’ll do it tomorrow, one last time, it will just be this once, I need this to survive, etc.”
I’ll be honest with you, I’ve never been in pain that they give fentanyl patches for or anything that severe so I can’t speak on that but most pain can be treated better without opioids. They just mask it. I prefer to go thru the fire, but again I never had the kind of pain that cancer patients and others experience so I am not an authority on the subject of physical pain.
most of all remember that you are the man in the arena. And that’s what it’s all about. Fighting against decay, striving for your dreams and freedom, and being there for others. Not just your friends. That’s what it’s all about.
And just as important, find your why! Having a reason for doing something challenging gives you the drive that you need to keep going when it gets hard. So find your why. It’s different for everyone, but my why is I’m not accepting this as my life, I’m not accepting their assigned place for my life in the world, I’m not going to let them put me down anymore for being an addict, I am going to rise up and overcome everyone and everything in my way. I will win because I will not stop. Each failure will make me stronger and each victory even moreso. My why is about starting a non profit I help at risk youth to prevent more from experiencing my suffering. These are some of my whys. What are your whys? Why do you want to get off this? Why do you want a better life? Do you think you deserve to suffer? Seriously wondering. I think a lot of us do.
So I leave you with this quote from Theodore Roosevelt. I am not a fan of most presidents but I love this quote:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Theodore Roosevelt
Edit: I just saw Netherlands has no maximum patient limit for opioid substitution clinics but I don’t know what meds they use. I imagine subs but idk could methadone could be morphine idk could be a lot of things. But they have them and it’s easy to get into according to what I read but idk for sure
