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How careful do I need to be with mixing diazepam and alcohol.

SpiralusSancti said:
Actually that's in part a misconception as just about any person know few people that use, "I'll kill myself", almost as a catchfraze while claiming to be serious, than many of us heard or said, "I'll kill myself if you leave me" and the list goes and goes on. There's a lot of people like that but there's also a lot of people who do commit suicide and somewhat more often in such cases try to commit it. Ofc really announcing to close people you'll kill yourself isn't common but I assume neither OP said to his child how he'll kill himself.
Also people who do tell someone have bigger chance of getting help so that's another big factor.
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IV never told anyone il do it in real life. Plus there's no family or friends in my life apart from my kids. I just want to sleep n not wake up
 
Suicide Support Thread

Many of us can relate to your struggles and nothing is worth ending your life over. I have personally hit so many rock bottoms, even going so far as attempting suicide in my teens (obviously and thankfully unsuccessfully). Reaching out to people, calling a suicide support hotline wherever you live, going for walks/exercise, meditation and talking to a therapist and/or doctor can all help you. I understand the feelings of isolation, of true hopelessness.. but also understand these feelings can come to pass. The suicide method you're asking about is likely to be unsuccessful and you may end up seriously and irrevocably damaging yourself and diminishing your quality of life further. It's good that you're talking to us and so long as you can muster the faintest glimmer of hope (even the hope of hope) you owe it to yourself and your kids to keep fighting. I've posted a link above to our suicide support thread and hotlines and other information for support can be found in "The Dark Side" forum. I truly wish you the best and hope you stay with us; you're worth it. I also know that all that I've said can sound like useless platitudes, but I mean them sincerely. It sounds like you're really crying for help and I feel for you.
 
benladdie3000 said:
IV never told anyone il do it in real life. Plus there's no family or friends in my life apart from my kids. I just want to sleep n not wake up
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So you're willing to mess your kid up for life? Depression sucks but before you do anything think of how your kids will feel
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
Listen to the people telling you that benzos are a SHIT suicide method

Also listen - the situation with your kids will change. If you love them in any way at all please do not suicide.

You will feel no relief because you will be dead. You will pass all that pain you are feeling onto your kids, for them to be affected by in some way every single day of their lives
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Very true. My husband committed suicide and that's when i started doing drugs. My life since then hasn't been great. The guilt will weigh on anyone close to him and could cause his kids to blame themselves and probably try it as well.
 
SpiralusSancti said:
You sure trying K therapy isn't worth a chance? I think in your case having it in moderate/big doses might be more useful than having a spray when the urge comes as you seem to pretty much have the urge for suicide all the time, right?
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I second this, it helped me recover from this sort of thing many years ago.
I’ve been depressed plenty since then, but I’ve never returned to being that low.

Using ketamine to treat depression saves lives.
It might have saved mine.
 
benladdie3000 said:
IV never told anyone il do it in real life. Plus there's no family or friends in my life apart from my kids. I just want to sleep n not wake up
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Have you tried reishi mushroom? It can really help change your mindset if you give it a chance, it also makes you sleepy initially which it sounds like you want.

The positive thing about being suicidal is that you really have nothing to lose by trying all these things recommended. You could even try a heavy psychedelic trip. I'm not recommending that, I'm just saying if you're truly about to commit suicide and are in any shape to handle psychedelics, you have to lose by trying.
 
Jennn said:
So you're willing to mess your kid up for life? Depression sucks but before you do anything think of how your kids will feel
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I'm really not willing to upset my kids but their childhoods are passing me by due to their mums lies. I was there from day one until January when she decided to just ruin it. They seem to be doing ok without me tbh.
 
benladdie3000 said:
I'm really not willing to upset my kids but their childhoods are passing me by due to their mums lies. I was there from day one until January when she decided to just ruin it. They seem to be doing ok without me tbh.
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They might want to reach out to you when they're older and out from under their mom's thumb. Please try not to take away that opportunity from them
 
benladdie3000 said:
Hi guys, so I have 500mg of diazepam and I drink alcohol most weekends. I'm tempted to relapse and take my diazepam and then hit the town like usual but I'm worried about potential harm. IV never taken as much as 500ng before and iv never mixed it with alcohol but could this potentially be fatal for a 95kg 32 year old guy???
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Very careful! I would always end up blacking out when adding even like 20mg diazepam to alcohol.
BUT this was when I would drink like a liter of vodka and 3 bottles of wine a day so you can see why just a little bit of benzo would send me over the edge to a blackout. One I had 40mg diazepam with 2 liters of vodka, 4 bottles of wine and 8 cans of cider in one evening and I slept for over 72 hours.
 
benladdie3000 said:
IV felt this way for many years however right now the feeling is the most intense it's ever been. Would a litre of vodka with 500mg diazepam not be enough??
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Yes, that could well kill you (although you's more likely vomit it up) but please don't do it! I've been suicidal for 20 years. The first time I seriously attempted to kill myself I was 11 years old and used my dads straight razor to slit both forearms vertically almost to the bone (thankfully when I passed out from blood loss my dad heard my body hit the floor in the bathroom and he broke the door in and called an ambulance)....I've tried MANY times since....but, seriously, NOTHING is worth killing yourself over. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
 
benladdie3000 said:
I'm really not willing to upset my kids but their childhoods are passing me by due to their mums lies. I was there from day one until January when she decided to just ruin it. They seem to be doing ok without me tbh.
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Your kids will almost certainly reach out to you when they are older. But that's not the (main) point. If you commit suicide, it will hurt them right now, as vulnerable children. Doesn't matter what they think of you now, you committing suicide will hurt them badly, now.
And it will take away their chance of getting to know you later on in life as well.
And, yes, your chance to know them too.
But this isn't just about you.

Go on a bender. Hell, go on a 5 year bender. Shit sucks. But stick around. Be available for acts 2 and 3.
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
Yes, that could well kill you (although you's more likely vomit it up) but please don't do it! I've been suicidal for 20 years. The first time I seriously attempted to kill myself I was 11 years old and used my dads straight razor to slit both forearms vertically almost to the bone (thankfully when I passed out from blood loss my dad heard my body hit the floor in the bathroom and he broke the door in and called an ambulance)....I've tried MANY times since....but, seriously, NOTHING is worth killing yourself over. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
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I think I'd take them in bunches rather than all in one go aswel as taking an anti emetic to help the sickness. Abd drink the vodka as quick as I could manage.
 
brokedownpalace10 said:
Your kids will almost certainly reach out to you when they are older. But that's not the (main) point. If you commit suicide, it will hurt them right now, as vulnerable children. Doesn't matter what they think of you now, you committing suicide will hurt them badly, now.
And it will take away their chance of getting to know you later on in life as well.
And, yes, your chance to know them too.
But this isn't just about you.

Go on a bender. Hell, go on a 5 year bender. Shit sucks. But stick around. Be available for acts 2 and 3.
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I really don't think it'll hurt them, they don't reach out, she's convinced them I don't want to see them and fair play to her shes used them as a weapon and pushed me to this. I can't forsee any future past the next few weeks when I get more of my prescription tbh.
 
benladdie3000 said:
I really don't think it'll hurt them, they don't reach out, she's convinced them I don't want to see them and fair play to her shes used them as a weapon and pushed me to this. I can't forsee any future past the next few weeks when I get more of my prescription tbh.
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They aren't reaching out because they are kids. They will grow up and at the very least be curious.
This is not only about you. You know I'm right.
It shouldn't be hard to get the message to them that you want to see them. Only needs to get there once.
They will favor and follow their mother, for some time to come. It sucks horribly, I'm not saying you are not going through horrible times.
But, think of your kid's future, not your own. They will have a future, whether you foresee one for yourself or not.

Get the message to them that you love them and want to see them. Your ex will respond in some way to screw that up. It will work. Don't respond. Let it go and live your life. Take care of you.
Get healthy, get fucked up, live your life. Whatever.
Play the long game.

Whether a part or all of their childhood has been unfairly taken from you or not, it's a wonderful thing to see the adult your child has become.
You have, at the very least, that to look forward too.
And, know what? You just might find things change in your favor even before that.
 
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benladdie3000 said:
Yeah but their childhoods are passing me by. Congratulations she won.
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Yes but it's not all about you brother. Nobody has 'won'. Don't play the game.

You wanna be any kind of parent? Then don't lumbar your kids with a life sentence because that is exactly what it would be for them. You're not willing to uspet your kids? Well get a grip and make sure you're there for them when they will inevitably need you to be. You think it won;t hurt them? Of course it will hurt them IT WILL RUIN THEM. They will see both you and your ex for who you really are when they grow up - I've seen it happen over and over again

Get the help you need. You're in a terrible place mate but this will change, nothing is more certain than that
 
benladdie3000 said:
I think I'd take them in bunches rather than all in one go aswel as taking an anti emetic to help the sickness. Abd drink the vodka as quick as I could manage.
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I'm new here and stumbled on this post, and feel I have to also weigh in to help stop you from attempting this method to commit suicide.

Firstly, I feel your pain RE checking out, I'm in and out of suicidal ideation a lot recently. And I relate to wanting to find a GUARANTEED method instead of waking up after a failed attempt and be permanently maimed/brain damaged/having killed or hurt somebody else etc etc. Like what a lot of people have already commented on.

Secondly, and most important I would like to put my historical EXTENSIVE abuse of benzos and alcohol to good use here if it can help you from harm.
I can absolutely agree with previous comments that although 500mg is an enormous dise, it most certainly is NOT a GUARANTEED lethal dose, even if you could keep it and a bottle of vodka down, regardless of anti emetic.
Don't attempt this method mate!
 
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