Being Sober is F'ing Terrifying: How Do People Do It?

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Whatever you look at seems bigger, actually gets bigger in your perception. If you have two glasses on either end of a table and you stare at one, it will seem/get bigger.

There is always good and bad in your life. Sometimes, one is in greater proportion. If the bad is in greater proportion and you focus only on it, it will get bigger and seem as if that is all there is.

If you try to focus on the good, at least here and there, it may not even take you all the way into your happy place/self hypnotism/law of attraction, but it will at least stop you from falling into that hole where nothing is right and everything sucks.

Nice analogy

 

[ghostfreak]

Whatever you look at seems bigger, actually gets bigger in your perception. If you have two glasses on either end of a table and you stare at one, it will seem/get bigger.

There is always good and bad in your life. Sometimes, one is in greater proportion. If the bad is in greater proportion and you focus only on it, it will get bigger and seem as if that is all there is.

If you try to focus on the good, at least here and there, it may not even take you all the way into your happy place/self hypnotism/law of attraction, but it will at least stop you from falling into that hole where nothing is right and everything sucks.

Def yeah

 

[xtcgrrrl]

Reality is for people who can’t handle their drugs

No, seriously tho. Reality is fucking terrifying.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

I'm not even talking about in comparison to being in a serious addiction.
Like with alcohol, I was drinking about a handle of vodka a day so going from THAT kinda intoxicated 24/7 to SOBER was a completely different thing to what I'm talking about now.*

I don't mean like THAT now. I mean like while I am legit prescribed the meds I abuse (codeine, morphine and gabapentin mostly) and I definitely take more than I'm supposed to - sometimes A LOT more - I don't get fucked up or like observably high. But when I run out of something, the anxiety and hopelessness and complete inability to enjoy anything are just hell. And I'm on several mental health meds** that do work so I can't even blame anxiety or depression. And I don't just feel that way when I go into withdrawal, I'm like that just sober-ish.

Just...how can anyone live like that?

*Obviously, I was medically detoxed as an inpatient in hospital then, alcohol withdrawal KILLS.


**Sertraline (Zoloft), Trazodone, Quetiapine (Seroquel) and Thorazine.

As an opiate addict who can't go a full 24hrs without a dose to avoid the big sick, I ask myself the same question. The thought of being sober terrifies me, but it's something I'm eventually going to have to do it if I ever want to get pregnant and raise a child. I was 2 weeks sober at the beginning of the year before I relapsed under stress, so it's not impossible for me, just improbable in my current state of mind regarding getting clean. For those who have never been addicted to anything, sobriety is of course a cakewalk. However, its mind boggling (yet admirable) to me when people who battled addiction manage to remain sober. I just don't see how they do it when they know what they're missing. Maybe they're better than I am at weighing out the pros and cons of addiction vs sobriety. I guess if you keep reminding yourself of the major cons of addiction, it gives people more incentive to stay clean. My only problem is that I know all too well that I simply feel better when I'm using my drug of choice and no amount of good clean fun can compare to it.

I can't go through life completely sober, I always need at least a little something. I stopped my morphine habit in June this year but soon noticed that my booze consumption was getting out of control. I had tried to replace the morphine with booze, which didn't work as booze is a shit drug compared to lovely morphine. I then baked myself two big trays of potent weed brownies and froze down a ton of the buggers in neat little individual tin foil wrapping. I now consume one weed brownie every evening and drink around a bottle of good red wine (French wine, yummy!!) on top of the weed edible. That works like a charm so far, quite an intense high that is enough for my addict brain. Probably not very heathy but also not terribly bad. Costly habit, though, around 5 USD for the weed and 10-15 USD for the wine, per day...

I can tolerate being sober for most of the day because I know that I can get at least somewhat high in the evening. Also, the weed makes me "happy stupid" even when I am sober, took a few months for that "I don't give a fuck about anything" pot head attitude to come back. I do feel mentally impaired by the weed, but not necessarily in an unpleasant way.

I can relate 100%. I once tried to substitute my morphine addiction with alcohol when I was trying to cut way back on ms contin and I gotta agree ; it was a shitty substitute and it didn't work for me anyway. I went back to the pain meds and started drinking much less (back to square 1, in other words).

How do you know you’re not in withdrawal?

Trust me, when you're in withdrawal, you'll definitely know without a glimmer of a doubt. It's by no means a subtle issue that one can simply ignore. Words cannot describe how miserable you'll feel.

Don't feel bad that you're not getting that evangelical sort of positivity, I literally just had this conversation half an hour ago with someone else and they were telling me that exactly this used to really piss them off (and it does me too) when they were in treatment until they realised that it was just people desperately trying to cling on to sobriety through any means they could. That relentless positivity was the only way of expressing themselves they knew outside of misery and it was a desperate attempt to not let the demons back in, rather than a genuine expression of the way they were feeling.

Having it explained to me that way really helped me. Hopefully I will learn compassion for those people now rather than being angry with them.

I recently quit a job at a factory where I worked with many people who were in an inpatient faith-based rehab program. I can vouch for this myself when they go on and on about how one cannot become sober without spiritual guidance or religion. Makes me wonder if they think recovering addicts who are atheists are a lost cause. They basically traded their alcohol and/or drug addiction for cigarettes, caffeine, and Jesus. If religion or spirituality works for some people, great. Whatever helps, go for it. In my case, however, religion has never helped me through any difficulties in life, let alone something as complicated as my addiction to painkillers. That being said, no, I don't expect religion to help me in any way. If I get clean, it will be on my own terms and God will sit back and observe without ever intervening just as God always has. I believe in a God or higher power of some sort. I just don't expect it to solve my problems. If I did, I would wind up extremely disappointed on top of my pre-existing misery.

Reality is for people who can’t handle their drugs

No, seriously tho. Reality is fucking terrifying.

 

[brokedownpalace10]

I recently quit a job at a factory where I worked with many people who were in an inpatient faith-based rehab program. I can vouch for this myself when they go on and on about how one cannot become sober without spiritual guidance or religion. Makes me wonder if they think recovering addicts who are atheists are a lost cause. They basically substituted their alcohol and/or drug addiction for cigarettes, caffeine, and Jesus. If religion or spirituality works for some people, great. Whatever helps, go for it. In my case, however, religion has never helped me through any difficulties in life, let alone something as complicated as my addiction to painkillers. That being said, no, I don't expect religion to help me in any way. If I get clean, it will be on my own terms and God will sit back and observe without ever intervening just as God always has. I believe in a God or higher power of some sort. I just don't expect it to solve my problems. If I did, I would wind up extremely disappointed on top of my pre-existing misery.

Belief in a higher power does help with sobriety. Thing is, you don't have to believe in their higher power.
Do you believe in any kind of cosmic anything? Love being the way and all of us being connected at some level will do.
Call God or the higher power whatever you want.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Trust me, when you're in withdrawal, you'll definitely know without a glimmer of a doubt. It's by no means a subtle issue that one can simply ignore. Words cannot describe how miserable you'll feel.

This is simply untrue.

Withdrawal can be harsh and disgusting and unbearable but it can also be subtle, especially if you have just been through the former.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

Belief in a higher power does help with sobriety. Thing is, you don't have to believe in their higher power.
Do you believe in any kind of cosmic anything? Love being the way and all of us being connected at some level will do.
Call God or the higher power whatever you want.

I believe that there's some kind of divine entity observing us, yes. I just never seen it being helpful to me in any way. Sorry if that seems narrow-minded. Religion/spirituality has just never done much for me in terms of solving serious issues in my life.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

This is simply untrue.

Withdrawal can be harsh and disgusting and unbearable but it can also be subtle, especially if you have just been through the former.

You're right, actually. The last time I had withdrawals it was pretty subtle because I rationed myself down to practically nothing before trying to quit. However, I can't say that it was entirely unnoticeable. I definitely felt more shitty than I would if I hadn't tried to quit.

 

[jasperkent]

 Son
 Of a
 Bitch!
 Everything's
 Real!

Any lifestyle change takes some getting used to. I can't think my way into acting sober but I can act my way into thinking sober.

Spirituality/religion helps some people but it's not essential for living a good life. I'm an atheist but I have a deep appreciation for Nature so I guess that's a spiritual thing for me. Also, my dog keeps me grounded.

Three things have helped me a LOT:
1. I don't take myself too seriously.
2. I am aware of things for which I am grateful.
3. What other people think of me is none of my damn business.

To be clear, I am NOT "clean&sober" and I doubt that I ever will be. Most people aren't. I love my coffee & cigarettes, I maintain a moderate kratom habit, and I eat a gummy or two most evenings. I also get off on sugar.

I do avoid the substances that caused me the most problems in my past: alcohol, oxys/hydros, meth, and IV coke. I dabble in psychedelics, Adderall, and nasal cocaine occasionally (once or twice a year), but I don't have a steady supply and I don't want one.


"Everything in moderation, including moderation." ----Oscar Wilde

 

[Juniper Bruhmomentius]

They embrace the suffering

 

[brokedownpalace10]

They embrace the suffering

"Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh."
Henry David Thoreau


I don't think Thoreau meant to try to feel bad, but sometimes you have to embrace your sorrow and regrets to get over them by plowing right through them.

Life leaves holes in your heart. Those holes never get any smaller. But, if you keep on truckin', your heart gets bigger and they seem smaller.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

As an opiate addict who can't go a full 24hrs without a dose to avoid the big sick, I ask myself the same question. The thought of being sober terrifies me, but it's something I'm eventually going to have to do it if I ever want to get pregnant and raise a child. I was 2 weeks sober at the beginning of the year before I relapsed under stress, so it's not impossible for me, just improbable in my current state of mind regarding getting clean. For those who have never been addicted to anything, sobriety is of course a cakewalk. However, its mind boggling (yet admirable) to me when people who battled addiction manage to remain sober. I just don't see how they do it when they know what they're missing. Maybe they're better than I am at weighing out the pros and cons of addiction vs sobriety. I guess if you keep reminding yourself of the major cons of addiction, it gives people more incentive to stay clean. My only problem is that I know all too well that I simply feel better when I'm using my drug of choice and no amount of good clean fun can compare to it.

I've been sober from alcohol for 5 years apart from I'll occasionally have like one or two glasses of wine if I'm out for a meal with friends or maybe a glass of champagne on New Years or something (I was absolutely zero alcohol for three years first, though, like not even mouthwash)....but opioids I've been on one type or another - everything from codeine to fentanyl - since 2010 and just never been able to get off them. Every time I run out and experience withdrawal I'm determined to get off them, but then when I get them again all I can think is how much better I feel both physically and mentally when I'm on them.

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

I've been sober from alcohol for 5 years apart from I'll occasionally have like one or two glasses of wine if I'm out for a meal with friends or maybe a glass of champagne on New Years or something (I was absolutely zero alcohol for three years first, though, like not even mouthwash)....but opioids I've been on one type or another - everything from codeine to fentanyl - since 2010 and just never been able to get off them. Every time I run out and experience withdrawal I'm determined to get off them, but then when I get them again all I can think is how much better I feel both physically and mentally when I'm on them.

I can completely relate.

 

[xxsicknessxx]

Well I've been sober 5 years beside weed but I don't abuse weed. It took me years to get used to it and I decided to work out to start feeling better.
I feel better every day. I love gaining muscle and I learned that drugs caused me to forget how to be a normal human so after 19 years of meth I'm 39 it's taken me awhile to get back to myself but now I feel great. I work out 3 days a week I diary my food app I eat healthy and I'm starting cook everything myself..

It gets easier... But I do recommend getting in some sort of shape it makes life so much easier.. good luck. Drugs are bad.

To add I live at home with my parents but my brother and sister still use drugs and live here it's crazy.. that's hard to deal with because I just want to help them but they won't listen... Omg it's so difficult living with them. They slept all day and are up all night.

Anyways also go to the doctor get fully checked out you might of hurt yourself doing drugs. I'm still getting better.. but each day will eventually get better at better.. sorry if you're at a hard point in your life

 

[FunctionalJnkieGrl]

Well I've been sober 5 years beside weed but I don't abuse weed. It took me years to get used to it and I decided to work out to start feeling better.
I feel better every day. I love gaining muscle and I learned that drugs caused me to forget how to be a normal human so after 19 years of meth I'm 39 it's taken me awhile to get back to myself but now I feel great. I work out 3 days a week I diary my food app I eat healthy and I'm starting cook everything myself..

It gets easier... But I do recommend getting in some sort of shape it makes life so much easier.. good luck. Drugs are bad.

To add I live at home with my parents but my brother and sister still use drugs and live here it's crazy.. that's hard to deal with because I just want to help them but they won't listen... Omg it's so difficult living with them. They slept all day and are up all night.

Anyways also go to the doctor get fully checked out you might of hurt yourself doing drugs. I'm still getting better.. but each day will eventually get better at better.. sorry if you're at a hard point in your life

I gotta vouch for it when you say staying fit always helps. I know for a fact that it does. I exercise 5 days a week doing cardio, using weights and resistance bands. Even when I quit, I pushed myself to stick to my routine (I eventually relapsed, but I still never stopped my exercise routine). If anything, it might help you get winded enough to get some shut-eye during withdrawal (even if its just an hour nap). Whatever helps in that department is a plus, if you ask me. Fitness and sleep has always been extremely important to me. Exercising can sometimes help with insomnia. If it's free and if it helps with sleep, why not give it a chance?

 

[Senior Moderator]

I gotta vouch for it when you say staying fit always helps. I know for a fact that it does. I exercise 5 days a week doing cardio, using weights and resistance bands. Even when I quit, I pushed myself to stick to my routine (I eventually relapsed, but I still never stopped my exercise routine). If anything, it might help you get winded enough to get some shut-eye during withdrawal (even if its just an hour nap). Whatever helps in that department is a plus, if you ask me. Fitness and sleep has always been extremely important to me. Exercising can sometimes help with insomnia. If it's free and if it helps with sleep, why not give it a chance?

I wholeheartedly agree