How to address tics?

[plumbus-nine]

My gf has developed a pretty annoying tic which she didn't have when we got together and it gets worse. It's difficult for me to describe but it's kind of a dry swallowing but pretty loud sometimes and she does it anything between once a hour and every 30-60 seconds, probably depending on stress level. I don't know whether she realizes doing it or not. It is really annoying and I need to find a way to address this without hurting her too much, without saying "you do always" etc. She's somebody who's pretty easily emotionally hurt sometimes and I can't predict how she would react. I don't really know how. Communication isn't the best strength of both of us. Thanks for any input.

 

[jsinger]

My gf has developed a pretty annoying tic which she didn't have when we got together and it gets worse. It's difficult for me to describe but it's kind of a dry swallowing but pretty loud sometimes and she does it anything between once a hour and every 30-60 seconds, probably depending on stress level. I don't know whether she realizes doing it or not. It is really annoying and I need to find a way to address this without hurting her too much, without saying "you do always" etc. She's somebody who's pretty easily emotionally hurt sometimes and I can't predict how she would react. I don't really know how. Communication isn't the best strength of both of us. Thanks for any input.

Next time she does it ask if she is thirsty or catching a cold. Not to sure what the sound is but I’d act like it’s your first time noticing it and just curious what’s the reasoning behind the sound. Do not show any annoyance about it just inquisitiveness and she shouldn’t be self conscious if you’re not displaying negative emotions. Good chance shes not aware of it. Also if it’s annoying you and left unattended it’s likely to come out in a hurtful way.
Giving advice is so much easier than taking and acting on it lol. But quite sure that should answer the problem. Maynot stop it but you’ll know she knows she’s doing it.

 

[fastandbulbous]

Was going to say, "you little disease ridden, parasitic little bastard"

Sorry, wrong sort of ticket

 

[plumbus-nine]

I've tried with asking whether she has a cold or pain in her throat because I listen her making this sound and she said yes, but it also seems that she both knows that she has this thing but doesn't sees it as a problem. Everything continues as it is and it's just so annoying that sometimes I scream just "stop it, PLEASE" inside my head. Soon I'll have no other possibility than to disclose to her how annoyed I am by this little shit. I mean not everything is okay in our relationship but atm this is the most pressing issue.

 

[jsinger]

I've tried with asking whether she has a cold or pain in her throat because I listen her making this sound and she said yes, but it also seems that she both knows that she has this thing but doesn't sees it as a problem. Everything continues as it is and it's just so annoying that sometimes I scream just "stop it, PLEASE" inside my head. Soon I'll have no other possibility than to disclose to her how annoyed I am by this little shit. I mean not everything is okay in our relationship but atm this is the most pressing issue.

I’ve been there before actually. My x would randomly speak with different accents and she also did a little kids voice accent I guess but something about it made me want to scream. I’d say 3 or so months down the line she spoke in this voice and longer then usual and I didn’t even consider being rude any longer as it appeared she wouldn’t stop and I said not shitty but emphatically that I hated when she used that voice. She was shocked and possibly slightly embarrassed but otherwise it went well. Little shit is the catalyst for fights usually and it’s generally something deeper behind it. Some of that anger maybe inward because your sacrificing your feelings in lieu of peacefulness which on some level is necessary in close relationships but if your increasingly becoming frustrated and it’s your biggest problem currently then it’s probably good idea to speak on it next incident. Good luck in any event though

 

[MsDiz]

Wait until you’re feeling calm in yourself and just address it. Sit her down and tell her that you’ve noticed her making this sound, ask her does she realise she is making it. See what she says and then maybe suggest that she could see her Dr about it. If it is a tic then she needs to speak to someone, whether it’s brought on by stress or something else, it needs addressed.

Not speaking about something to protect someone’s feelings rarely works. You have to be honest but be kind. Be open and be understanding. She might be very aware of it and very self conscious. She might react angrily. She might be very sorry. Be prepared for anything and be kind in your response. If you are kind, calm and open it will help, if you react negatively, it won’t.