Insert we all technically fucked our moms on the way out, or most of us. Poor C section virgins :/
3 years, I just broke that streak 2 weeks ago. Mental health problems, particularly avoidant personality issues kept me down for awhile. Too much to explain and not worth explaining here. I got around this by drinking, usually to excess for quite awhile. Next month, I'm 3 years sober from alcohol. But throughout say, 19-23 in particular my drinking was out of control. I still drank after that, just about every weekend, but it was 3-4 days a week of getting smashed in those earlier years. Lost my virginity while drunk at 18. I graduated in 2012 and the debauchery started around that summer with the drinking. I wasn't all that into it, I was more into weed still, but I could put the shit down. A handle no problem. 2 years prior to that I was just a straight up nerd. Things change so fast in your teens.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, day off Sunday (sometimes), drink Monday type of thing. How I even finished college is mind boggling, especially given I was getting stoned off my ass 24/7. Alcohol wasn't just the only way I could get laid, it was practically the only way I could connect with anyone at all. I was the life of the party, but when I sobered up I was like a ghost. Regardless I made a ton of progress with myself in at least conversing with people without alcohol.
When I'm around drunk people now, it's like I get contact drunk, I get more social like they do because I realize they're fucked up, oftentimes in a more cheerful sort of state of mind (from my perspective, and less likely to be judgmental). I've had drunk chicks hit on me while I'm sober but I don't fuck around like that. Firstly I don't like slutty chicks and secondly I don't like the idea of doing them while they're drunk and I'm sober, because I'm the one who's in full control, it just feels wrong to me. Really depends on the person though.
As of recent, upon discovering kava and how it can be similarly intoxicating, it helped me break through. Been talking to a girl at work lately, we're not exactly dating. I'm 29 and she's 20. Quite the social butterfly. I suppose it can be a bit easier to interact with people who have personalities that are like this, like I get contact extroverted. I've talked to this girl about my drug endeavors the past year, mostly the psychedelics. Turns out she's been hanging with one of my best friends exes who he has a kid with, but she had a kid with another guy too. Pretty messy, and now my friends ex is dating her best friend since kindergarten.
I have a feeling she'd want to start dating, but A) I have tons of issues to work through and B) she's 9 years younger than me. I mean that's fine but like, nothing has really indicated that she'd want to date yet, we just act like friends with benefits. I think if it reached that point I'd have to explain like, hey, I'm gonna be 30 in 10 months and then you'll be 21, there's too much of a gap, too much difference. It's a solid a realistic excuse because I do feel this way, but I also have to admit to myself that I have serious issues to work out with myself. We've fucked only 5 times. It's nice that kava can get me to that point but like... still. I'm relying on some substance to have sex.
