Mental Health Coming off Invega (Paliperidone, Xeplion) injections v 6.0

[Merek]

I'm out of hell phase thankfully, but I'm not in heaven either, the little joys of life haven't returned, I still force myself to do things to pass time, no patience for hobbies.
My highest high where I felt my best ever in life was during my first spiritual awakening, I was camping in nature for almost a month, no phone, nothing, just me, a tent, sleeping bag and a few other stuff, and of course, nature itself. I disconnected myself from technology and never felt any better in my life, this experience was pure magic.
That was before getting the shots, I never felt bored for a moment, I was mostly in my head, flowing with my thoughts.

I can get the little joys in life from working out at the gym, socializing, watching tv, and taking walks on a sunny day even if it’s cold out, you’ll get those joys back.

 

[UnluckyXeplion]

I can get the little joys in life from working out at the gym, socializing, watching tv, and taking walks on a sunny day even if it’s cold out, you’ll get those joys back.

You got them back because you got only 2 shots, I got 7 or 8, it will most likely take me at least double the time to recover, if at all.
Even if I recover, the joy and satisfaction from things won't be at the same intensity like before, everything got weaker or shut down.

 

[Merek]

You got them back because you got only 2 shots, I got 7 or 8, it will most likely take me at least double the time to recover, if at all.
Even if I recover, the joy and satisfaction from things won't be at the same intensity like before, everything got weaker or shut down.

I posted yesterday 9 or 10 people who said they recovered 100% how come you think it won’t be the same intensity as before?

 

[prinzfrost]

I'm out of hell phase thankfully, but I'm not in heaven either, the little joys of life haven't returned, I still force myself to do things to pass time, no patience for hobbies.
My highest high where I felt my best ever in life was during my first spiritual awakening, I was camping in nature for almost a month, no phone, nothing, just me, a tent, sleeping bag and a few other stuff, and of course, nature itself. I disconnected myself from technology and never felt any better in my life, this experience was pure magic.
That was before getting the shots, I never felt bored for a moment, I was mostly in my head, flowing with my thoughts.

Nice! (your highest high, prior to "getting the shots," I mean) That's cool to hear about. Most people would also be able to attest to how, before the negative effect of antipsychotics (especially paliperidone/Invega), especially the severe, unparalleled total depression and sexual dysfunction, they were living joyous lives, able to enjoy the many activities of human existence. I, too, remember such experiences very wistfully now--how much joy was possible in this life before these cruel and dangerous drugs undeservedly and criminally destroyed us and took us by cruel surprise.

I have had similar experiences both in nature and, still in society, with being able to meditate, focus and flow, feel sublimes and joy.

I remember, particularly, 2020 summer was a great time for me. The COVID-19 pandemic drastically affected society. The streets were often empty, people were shut up in their homes (like something out of the prophecies of Isaiah!†), stores and businesses were closed, public activity was restricted, etc. and there was the danger of a collapse of society and civil unrest. I found refuge in a lake front nature preserve in my city. I also moved out to a very sparsely populated town 50 miles north of my home city, where I lived for about a year with my brother and his girlfriend--although the water there was dirty and not suitable for swimming, the town was very quiet, with the exception of neighbors yard work. Unlike the city, there wasn't this constant cloud of noise, from construction, industry and unknown causes.
It would mostly be dead quiet during the day and the night, with, during the day, only the sound of birds and insects. It was extremely tranquil and serene.

My excursions to the lake front nature preserve in my city were fortuitous. This was a lake to whom I had been connected to my entire life since being born and being a small child. The cool breeze of the lake affected the feeling of the whole city. However, this lake was mostly not suitable for swimming most of the time. Except during this special COVID time. I suspect because of the shut down of industry, whatever the explanation was, I immediately started to notice that the lake was really clean and getting cleaner and cleaner. When the COVID shut downs were slowly repealed starting in 2021-2022, this all changed, human activity and industry must have restarted, and the lake returned to no normal and was no longer clean. But during this special time, it was incredible.

Like I said, these joyous experiences of course occurred before I had ever been exposed to paliperidone/Invega (and later developed the depression and sexual dysfunction that robbed me of my life activities and joy).

Bizarrely, nobody else seemed to notice that the lake was this clean. I started to swim in very clean sections of it near a natural outlet and bay accessible through the preserve. I spent many hours and many days doing this. About 5 meters out from the shore, the rough pebbles gave way to very soft lake sand and occasional lake grass. There was no danger, since there aren't really any dangerous fish in the lake and I did not see a single fish of any size in this bay section. The water was remarkably clear and clean in this time--although I have of course seen cleaner and purer water (I used to travel when I was a kid with my parents and visited many pristine salt-water/sea bays and lagoons with much greater water clarity).

I felt deeply in touch with my primordial ancestry, wading through these waters. I felt totally free. I felt like a kid and I felt deeply in touch with the lake and the land that I had such a deep and innate relationship with since I was born. Sometimes, I found trees from the shore that had become detached and fallen into the lake. They had been smoothed out and some of them were useful for playing around with and sitting on and riding on.

Eventually, some college kids visiting the area seemed to notice what I was doing and some joined in briefly, but for the most part, I was all alone and nobody else seemed to notice, appreciate or take advantage of this unusual situation and opportunity. The water, as I said, has since returned to normal and is unswimmable but I will never forget those days or what a unique opportunity it was, which will probably never return again!

In one section of the bay, there was a little inlet with free standing rocks next to overhanging trees. Often near this area, there were friendly, beautiful blue dragonflies. One time, a blue dragonfly had flown too close to the surface of the water and fallen in, unable to get out from the surface of the water, ostensibly close to drowning. I rescued the dragonfly with my hands and propped him up on a nearby branch hanging over the water. The dragonfly dried itself out and recovered fully. I swear, that dragonfly was noticeably happy and full of gratitude.

I also sunbathed a lot during this time. Especially with the house I was living in out in the small quiet town, surrounded by farmland, 50 miles north of my home city, I had great privacy so I essentially was sunbathing naked*. Not only did this result in very healthy skin and increased my good looks and beauty, but it made me feel terrific, health wise and mood wise. This house out in the small town also had water drawn from a local well deep underground (which was treated by a local water treatment plant, I believe). I took to taking cold showers, cold bucket baths, etc. I can't tell you how good those cold baths and showers, from this particular water, felt! I felt not only great immediately afterwards but I felt increased well-being and sublime joy continuously for months!
(the well water, combined with its water treatment, was clean and with health-giving properties, I argue--certainly, different from the nearby river water which was plagued by algae from farmland phosphorus runoff).

All this sunbathing, all this quality water cold bathing and showering, and the aforementioned nature preserve/lake visits, made me feel so in touch with nature and with my ancestry, and made me feel so joyous, for so many months continuously!

I seemed to recall long lost ancestral memories, of a joyous existence in Northern Europe and England, etc. I later learned that, in fact, a lot of Northern Europe used to have more land! For instance, the North Sea used to be land and not sea (for the most part), about 8,000 years ago, I believe (see the "Doggerland"). It is also possible that there were land bridges from Ireland to the coast of France, but this is speculation.

During this time, music and art hit differently. Music and art I enjoyed immensely in normal circumstances, reached far deeper into my soul. During this time, as you might imagine, my libido was off the charts and much more joyous. I frequently stocked fresh produce and cooked every day. I also did a lot of exercise, during this time. It might have been the most joyous time of my entirely life.

*I see my dermatologist regularly and although sunbathing runs the risk of developing skin cancer, which my father passed away from, I have not developed problems yet (although I no longer sunbathe, because my paliperidone/Invega induced depression and sexual dysfunction has deprived me of all ability to enjoy sunbathing or even reap any benefits).

Certain special circumstances made a lot of this possible, especially the COVID pandemic. Regardless, however, paliperidone/invega caused depression and sexual dysfunction seems to have destroyed any possibility of me ever having such enjoyment, or much lesser enjoyments, ever again for the rest of my life.

†The Prophecies of Isaiah and the COVID epidemic (curious correlations--I am not trying to promote religion, offend anyone or make anyone uncomfortable, I am just citing these for curiosity and amusement)

Isaiah 24:1
"Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty, and maketh it waste"

Isaiah 24:10
"The city of confusion is broken down: every house is shut up, that no man may come in"

Isaiah 34:1-34:2
"Come near, ye nations, to hear; and hearken, ye people: let the earth hear, and all that is therein; the world, and all things that come forth of it. For the indignation of the LORD is upon all nations"

 

[UnluckyXeplion]

I posted yesterday 9 or 10 people who said they recovered 100% how come you think it won’t be the same intensity as before?

I have a bad feeling it wont be back with the same intensity.
The intensity of everything is lower or non existent, my libido, my joy from things etc.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

Do you suffer from it too?

yes and no I know what it feels like and what emotions it ignites
no advice, only empathy

 

[paranoid android]

Abilify injections or pills ?

Injection

 

[Merek]

yes and no I know what it feels like and what emotions it ignites
no advice, only empathy

Yo I saw you in the other thread have you also been injected with invega?

 

[Merek]

I have a bad feeling it wont be back with the same intensity.
The intensity of everything is lower or non existent, my libido, my joy from things etc.

That’s cause there is still paliparadone in your system the brain has an amazing ability to heal it’s self you will reach homeostasis at some point after it’s all left your system the bad feeling is just some anxiety you’ll be fine.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

no but I have huge heart and life has wrecked me too
Anhedonia is fucking bitch
Even the most you can come up with, feels lousy
The most amotivating feeling

 

[OLDTIDEN]

life is pretty alright. i eat good food every day and sometimes i get sexual healing in my dreams lol

 

[Merek]

no but I have huge heart and life has wrecked me too
Anhedonia is fucking bitch
Even the most you can come up with, feels lousy
The most amotivating feeling

Yeah I also had anhedonia pre invega from drug abuse and some other additive behaviors, I’ve been sober off all hard drugs for 7 months now and I’m living a healthy lifestyle I still got anhedonia from invega but it will pass, how come you have anhedonia?

 

[Serhat]

If you havent been on the injection, you wont understand how we feel.

 

[Bigsmoke420]

Might get banned for this Post But Yolo :D. Started a new relationship recently and have been laying dick like crazy . I totally forget about invega for almost a year. I remeber just laying around all day dwelling about invega and anhedonia, I really was a shell of a man that I've become. Invega definitely turned me from a young man into a grown man within a year, I pretty sure I have PTSD from the experience because I still can't let ago after all this time is while I still come back to remind you we are family and it does get better. You Guys Remember Ross Boehm Lai Or Roscoe Gaming, he was the worst case I've ever seen, but look at him, he quit making invega videos and found a purpose in online gaming, he has friends online and looks happy streaming. Even if you don't recover, you just need to find a purpose in life to fuel the train and you'll survive, Danial Barber Had A Child And Thats His Purpose, Just Keep fighting.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

If you havent been on the injection, you wont understand how we feel.

We are all alone in the limits of our limited capability of sharing our personal pain and understanding pain of others
Of your reaction I see the intense frustration
I definitely won't ever get how you feel, exactly
And I can do only so little to fix it, next to nothing
I just wish it is something

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

Yeah I also had anhedonia pre invega from drug abuse and some other additive behaviors, I’ve been sober off all hard drugs for 7 months now and I’m living a healthy lifestyle I still got anhedonia from invega but it will pass, how come you have anhedonia?

I pretty much track my anhedonic tendencies and past anhedonic experiences to psychological trauma and cognitive contents that absolutely destroyed any sense of feeling any life
To this day I feel like constant stress related to ego-dystonic triggers overwhelms any positive experiences and sensations all the time and I don't know what to do about it, there is so little good left
I don't claim to have any advices for you, I know shit about what to do about what you have in your hands
I just feel like you'd benefit of knowing my empathy goes to you
While you may or may not be mentally ill, I can't perceive it right and justful what you have been done
And you don't deserve the struggle

 

[Merek]

Might get banned for this Post But Yolo :D. Started a new relationship recently and have been laying dick like crazy . I totally forget about invega for almost a year. I remeber just laying around all day dwelling about invega and anhedonia, I really was a shell of a man that I've become. Invega definitely turned me from a young man into a grown man within a year, I pretty sure I have PTSD from the experience because I still can't let ago after all this time is while I still come back to remind you we are family and it does get better. You Guys Remember Ross Boehm Lai Or Roscoe Gaming, he was the worst case I've ever seen, but look at him, he quit making invega videos and found a purpose in online gaming, he has friends online and looks happy streaming. Even if you don't recover, you just need to find a purpose in life to fuel the train and you'll survive, Danial Barber Had A Child And Thats His Purpose, Just Keep fighting.

I feel the same way tbh going through a challenge like invega changed my perspective of life I’m now thankful that I can do basic functions and take care of myself cause I couldn’t after first getting injected if I could go back in time and stop myself from being injected I wouldn’t cause this challenge is making me into the man I am today.

 

[Merek]

I pretty much track my anhedonic tendencies and past anhedonic experiences to psychological trauma and cognitive contents that absolutely destroyed any sense of feeling any life
To this day I feel like constant stress related to ego-dystonic triggers overwhelms any positive experiences and sensations all the time and I don't know what to do about it, there is so little good left
I don't claim to have any advices for you, I know shit about what to do about what you have in your hands
I just feel like you'd benefit of knowing my empathy goes to you
While you may or may not be mentally ill, I can't perceive it right and justful what you have been done
And you don't deserve the struggle

I don’t really know how to help you out with psychological trauma either but I think there’s some threads on this site that talk about that I’m sure there’s people there who would be there for you, also I saw you in the other talking about psychedelics have you taken those and if so do you feel like they help you with your past trauma I’ve heard of trauma survivors getting better from taking psychedelic trips from accessing their inner thinking and finding new coping mechanisms.

 

[paranoid android]

^ Trauma is a goddamn bitch i am still trying to get over the trauma of having cotards syndrome and being in the psych ward. But it is getting easier and after thinking i was dead living doedsent seem that bad at all lol. Fuck being dead and thining your in purgatory that was shit.

I really wanna try shrooms for ptsd but am not sure if i will trip much because of the zyprexa Although i do know someone that was on risperdal and tripped