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🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 PD Social Thread 2022-2025 v. Year of the Phenethylamine

Some more things i wrote up

I'm on my way to the other side

I'm gonna do it all my own way

My mind is like the wildest ride

And I'm going through the night

To get to where I'm going now

There's no turning back, I know

It's time for me to let go now

LSD, DMT,

They'll take you to the edge of madness.

The edge of madness.

You can feel the world turn on its axis, and then you're falling into a place where it doesn't matter how much it hurts. There's no pain there—there's just eternity.

I'm trippin', I'm on LSD.

It's like a dream in my head

I feel like I'm in the Matrix and I know that it's all a lie.

It's a cosmic odyssey

We're on the edge of understanding.

The edge of space and time

Lost in a trip to outer space

I'm a long way from home

I'm a long way from home

I had to stop for gas

But I kept on driving, yeah

I got lost in time and space

And when I came back to earth

It was just as if I'd never been away
 
Chris Timothy said:
My situation is seriously escalating. I'm in a deep pit and no way out. I shouldn't be researching suicide methods should I?
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There are quite a few people on this site that care about you, brother. Sometimes the fastest way out of a deep pit is just to stop digging. I don't know you as well as most everybody in PDD, so I will defer but disassociative lows don't last forever.
 
Chris Timothy said:
My situation is seriously escalating. I'm in a deep pit and no way out. I shouldn't be researching suicide methods should I?
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No man, it's never a good choice to choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Life gets really hard sometimes, but life is also a series of ups and down in waves, and there is always another dawn, where you'll look back and say "I'm glad I didn't do that". You don't have to answer what is causing you to feel this way, but the best thing you could do is figure out what it is, and work to try to change those circumstances. Therapy can help with that. Also, drugs can cause us to feel a whole lot worse and produce mental/emotional imbalances that make it really hard to think clearly and feel happy/stable. I certainly have experienced that a number a times in my life. <3

Do you have a crisis hotline in your country, someone you can call to talk to?
 
somnilicious said:
There are quite a few people on this site that care about you, brother. Sometimes the fastest way out of a deep pit is just to stop digging. I don't know you as well as most everybody in PDD, so I will defer but disassociative lows don't last forever.
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Yes just talk to someone. Please. It's not ALWAYS as bad as it seems. We promise you !!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3
 
Chris Timothy said:
My situation is seriously escalating. I'm in a deep pit and no way out. I shouldn't be researching suicide methods should I?
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Yes just talk to someone. Please. It's not ALWAYS as bad as it seems. We promise you !!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3
 
Psychestim said:
TRRC did sell designer opioids.
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You know I always thought that was such a bad idea. Should have always stuck with the Psychedelics, Dissociatives and Empathogens. Those don't draw anywhere near as much heat as other compounds and it prevent the scumbag US from making statements about how they are related to 40k people ODing every year. We all know that China is the main culprit for that.

I've been around the RC scene for almost 15 years now and it's sad but places go down, even ones you think are untouchable. But people always rise up to take their place, because where there is demand a supply will be brought. In my eyes what sucks hard tho is that LL made so many of the novel Dissos and LSD analogs. Having a place emerge that will be providing a similar service will take time.

But the Darknet isn't going anywhere and LSD will continue to flood the planet as will Ketamine. And the China still is putting out some good stuff from time to time, like FXE.
 
Xorkoth said:
No man, it's never a good choice to choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Life gets really hard sometimes, but life is also a series of ups and down in waves, and there is always another dawn, where you'll look back and say "I'm glad I didn't do that". You don't have to answer what is causing you to feel this way, but the best thing you could do is figure out what it is, and work to try to change those circumstances. Therapy can help with that. Also, drugs can cause us to feel a whole lot worse and produce mental/emotional imbalances that make it really hard to think clearly and feel happy/stable. I certainly have experienced that a number a times in my life. <3

Do you have a crisis hotline in your country, someone you can call to talk to?
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Yes. I also have a phone phobia. Once I hear the sound of my own voice I panic and lock up, especially in the weird situation of talking into a device.

It's quite incredible how dysfunctional I am. I need lots and lots of therapy then.

I'll ask the mental health services whether they work via mail. That's a start.

Not sure how I'm gonna sleep tonight. I've been taking benzos but they've started to feel too pleasant, one thing you don't want is benzo dependency, right? I suppose I'll finish what I have, but I'm never ordering any more because I really don't wanna go there.

Spoken like a damn addict..
 
Yeah you DEFINITELY want to avoid benzo dependency. Etizolam is a good one to take if you want to avoid dependence because tolerance and dependence are clinically proven to develop more slowly, but it will still develop. I have at times taken etizolam at the minimum amount necessary (1mg to sleep) every other night for short periods of time. I do take it pretty regularly actually because of frequent issues sleeping, but I just make sure to not ever rely on it too much. Avoid taking it two days in a row and if you take it every other night, make sure to only do that for a few cycles and then take a break. That works for ME... I seem pretty resistant to gabaergic dependence.
 
Yeah I'm not going to take it today at least, I'll walk off my energy or something. That's how I get awful nights with lots of nightmares, but so be it.

I've just thrown away the last O-PCE. That's why I was taking benzos in the first place, sleep doesn't come when manic.

I feel so stupid for stashing up. I had just learned to have normal sober sleep cycles, and now here I am.

Eventually I'll have to get a job or something, any job, studying business management stuff like I'm doing now is driving me insane. Phone phobia needs to be fixed in any case.

Such a mess..
 
Xorkoth said:
I always say to everyone who will listen, DOC is a drug for being out in the world. Whenever I take it and sit around at home, I feel sweaty and uncomfortable for the come-up/peak, and sometimes it doesn't even go away. But when I go for a hike or at least a walk during the come-up, there is never even a hint of discomfort the whole time. It really requires some physical activity to engage yourself in for the first part of the trip.
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hm, never had that kind of problem with DOC or any other serotonergic psychedelic. nothing uncomfortable when comming up, no nausea or anything else. it just starts after about 40min when taken orally. i often hear things like becoming nauseous or even throwing up. funny how different everybody reacts.
 
I kind of like throwing up on psychedelics. Bit of a moment to yourself with the world spinning faster and faster.

On DMT I knew I had to "purge", just off a toke or two of crystaline, it was weird black stuff, not sick. Left it to see if it still was when i got back from out tripping. Weird black sludgey still, flushed it straight off.

That said I rarely do, even on AMT. Some of my friends have puked for like 14 hours on AMT. One of my friends has never been sick on a drug, ever.
 
somnilicious said:
There are quite a few people on this site that care about you, brother.
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Yup, Stop researching that stuff. We all have to push on. My life is totally sucking right now and I for sure have issues where I have no idea what to do.

CT get some sleep. Balance out. Push on. You never know what next week will bring. You'll get yourself out of your funk. But I know life can really suck at times. Waiting on the good times again that seem elusive as I get older. But every moment here seems to have meaning when we look back, but while going through it seems meaningless.

But damn it I have to do this shit (life) too. Your all gonna stay!!
 
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Meaning when looking back.. my mind keeps slipping towards the past and I see nonsense and failure, and all the hurt I've caused other people. I'm pushing on by realizing that amidst the anxiety and pain there's always some neutral sensation to focus on too. Maybe that's the meaning then, realizing the mistakes underlying this chaos. Maybe one mistake has been not admitting I'm on the autism spectrum, blaming experienced friction on the world and on sobriety instead. Very bright people have insisted on this diagnosis for me, and I might have been wrong brushing it off as mere projection.

Though like someone subjected to torture I'm willing to admit to anything right now. Anything that could bring change, anything that gives social services a hook to get someone who has lived isolated for two decades back on track in life. Even if they'll just push me into menial labor. That very thought makes the energy leave my body, but accepting such fate could mean peace of mind, finally.

Now I just need to muster up the courage to take actual steps, to go look people in the eyes and ask their help. It beats joining a monastery I suppose.
 
izo said:
hm, never had that kind of problem with DOC or any other serotonergic psychedelic. nothing uncomfortable when comming up, no nausea or anything else. it just starts after about 40min when taken orally. i often hear things like becoming nauseous or even throwing up. funny how different everybody reacts.
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I've never been nauseous on DOC, even a little bit. But pretty consistently, when I try to be physically inactive during the come-up, I feel uncomfortable amounts of limb energy and get watery eyes and anxiety. But when I'm walking around or something, it just starts smoothly, totally transparent and never a bit of discomfort.

When I was younger, I used to get really bad bodyload on every psychedelic during the come-up, I used almost always regret taking it until it leveled out, I used to find psychedelic come-ups very difficult. But over time, that has changed to the point that I almost never even feel a little bit uncomfortable during psychedelic come-ups. I guess I just got used to it. The reason the come-up was challenging for me before was, I think, just because the sudden transition from sober to tripping was really disorienting.
 
Xorkoth said:
When I was younger, I used to get really bad bodyload on every psychedelic during the come-up, I used almost always regret taking it until it leveled out, I used to find psychedelic come-ups very difficult. But over time, that has changed to the point that I almost never even feel a little bit uncomfortable during psychedelic come-ups. I guess I just got used to it. The reason the come-up was challenging for me before was, I think, just because the sudden transition from sober to tripping was really disorienting.
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Man I wish this was getting better for me with age... seems to just be getting worse. I mean, I have ways to cope (booze benzos opioids phenibut) but the fact that I choose to cope with one or all of those every time I start a trip (hell I preload with 1.5mg etizolam at the start of every psilacetin trip now) makes me wonder if I can ever get accustomed to the come-up jitters. Every time I trip I still spend the first hour regretting my decision... hence why I always nip it in the bud with etiz and usually a strong cocktail as well.
 
It really depends on the drug for me, I get no bodyload from most Tryptamines especially 4-AcO-DMT and that's the one I use most so I'm lucky in that regard. But 2C-B on the other hand I get pretty intense nausea from so I have pretty much taken to plugging that one to avoid it. Funny tho I haven't gotten a bodyload from 2C-E taken orally in years which kinda makes no sense cuz it's supposed to be the biggest culprit in the 2C-x family.

Body chemistry is a weird thing and hard thing to predict probably. If it was just come-up anxiety that usually fades after an hour when the drug fully develops. You really should just try taking it on it's own sometime @Cream Gravy? and see what happens, maybe with just some Phenibut if you must. Benzos dampen down the visuals of psychedelics significantly IME experience I know you have to take them for health reasons so maybe just dose them in the morning and then take the Psychedelic at night without the Etizolam alongside it.

You will surely have a more powerful experience like that, both visually and spiritually but this is only my two cents and maybe just something to do from time to time. I've done lots of combos with Benzos myself cuz it's pretty hedonistic and just took super heavy doses of psychs to counteract it. It really uses up your material more quickly tho. Maybe try just doing 14mgs or something with the technique I mentioned and see what happens.
 
Cream Gravy? said:
Man I wish this was getting better for me with age... seems to just be getting worse. I mean, I have ways to cope (booze benzos opioids phenibut) but the fact that I choose to cope with one or all of those every time I start a trip (hell I preload with 1.5mg etizolam at the start of every psilacetin trip now) makes me wonder if I can ever get accustomed to the come-up jitters. Every time I trip I still spend the first hour regretting my decision... hence why I always nip it in the bud with etiz and usually a strong cocktail as well.
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It is good to be uncomfortable, though I always avoided it to some degree myself by distracting myself, but its better than killing it all together off the bat.

I always got so anxious on acid, hah, integral part for me. Hilarious stuff, wish I could still take some because I could really use it

2C-B is an easy one in that regard :) good teacher in many ways (just have some fun)
 
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