Positive The Tapering Support Thread v 2.0

[Squeaky]

When almost noone knows, it's easy enough to pretend that you don't spend large portions of some days securing enough supply for yourself to be safe from opiate withdrawal or even from the discomfort of going without weed.
I'm saving up my gabapentin and clonidine, even as I'm typing this I've tears in my eyes, prickles behind my neck, pounding heart and my brain is screaming nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Psyche meds are the hardest to quit. Anything that makes you calm will make you absolutely insane when you don’t have it. It’s one thing to deal with physical wd’s, but psychological wd’s (especially from gabapentin or lyrica) will make you want to jump off a bridge.

 

[papercuts]

I thought I'd stop taking gabapentin for a while, they will work better after a break. I was down to a single 300 each morning then stopped on Saturday, I don't notice because my opiate intake increased to make everything ok. I've stopped baclofen too, it makes me turn yellow. I'm stocking up on clonidine because it ought to make withdrawal easier when I feel like jumping (not off the bridge). I'm scared the time isn't right and I want the pain relief I'm getting without the constipation from pharmaceuticals.

 

[Squeaky]

I thought I'd stop taking gabapentin for a while, they will work better after a break. I was down to a single 300 each morning then stopped on Saturday, I don't notice because my opiate intake increased to make everything ok. I've stopped baclofen too, it makes me turn yellow. I'm stocking up on clonidine because it ought to make withdrawal easier when I feel like jumping (not off the bridge). I'm scared the time isn't right and I want the pain relief I'm getting without the constipation from pharmaceuticals.

All I can say is what you have already heard about my experience. Opiate wd causes pain, and it lasts for months. Clonidine is generally prescribed for the sweating from opiate wd, but it is also an anti-anxiety med that is ALSO prescribed for blood pressure related to stress. So if you’re going back to the opiates because of pain.... it’s very possible that much of the pain is being caused by the opiates you wanted to quit.

3 days of heavy opiate use = at least a week of aches and pains when I quit. It’s the exact opposite of what you would expect. If you use pain killers for a few months, you expect at least a few days of feeling like crap. But it’s more like a few months of the ‘suck’. I fell deep into this problem after having been on them for a few years. “If I quit for 3 weeks and I still hurt then my pain is legit and I really NEED the pills, right?”.

Unfortunately the answer is ‘No’. If you get the pills for a broken ankle, use them for 6 months, and even a month after you quit your neck still hurts...,, does it mean you now have a neck injury? Do you need a new mattress or pillow? Do you now have rheumatoid arthritis? Is it time to go back to the Dr and get more/different pills? Probably not. But you’ll never know if you go back to the pills.

The reality is that our lives simply do not support laying on the couch for months, not sleeping, not driving your kids to school or going to work. So we say it’s real pain that can only be cured with more pills. And the ride on the hamster wheel starts all over again.

 

[papercuts]

All I can say is what you have already heard about my experience. Opiate wd causes pain, and it lasts for months. Clonidine is generally prescribed for the sweating from opiate wd, but it is also an anti-anxiety med that is ALSO prescribed for blood pressure related to stress. So if you’re going back to the opiates because of pain.... it’s very possible that much of the pain is being caused by the opiates you wanted to quit.

3 days of heavy opiate use = at least a week of aches and pains when I quit. It’s the exact opposite of what you would expect. If you use pain killers for a few months, you expect at least a few days of feeling like crap. But it’s more like a few months of the ‘suck’. I fell deep into this problem after having been on them for a few years. “If I quit for 3 weeks and I still hurt then my pain is legit and I really NEED the pills, right?”.

Unfortunately the answer is ‘No’. If you get the pills for a broken ankle, use them for 6 months, and even a month after you quit your neck still hurts...,, does it mean you now have a neck injury? Do you need a new mattress or pillow? Do you now have rheumatoid arthritis? Is it time to go back to the Dr and get more/different pills? Probably not. But you’ll never know if you go back to the pills.

The reality is that our lives simply do not support laying on the couch for months, not sleeping, not driving your kids to school or going to work. So we say it’s real pain that can only be cured with more pills. And the ride on the hamster wheel starts all over again.

I came at it from the other angle. I was hurting and the doctor wouldn't give me so much as an aspirin because he knew I was lying, but I wasn't.
I changed doctors, but I also started on pod tea, it was seed tea at first but that is dangerous, pods are pretty safe. So I now have total control over whether or not I feel that sensation called pain, except of course I don't because it wears off and increasing is just a fact of life to deal with. I bring my use down, then it goes back up. I'd 25g this morning and the world is a better place to be in. Fertile said it's 0.35% morphine approx, sounds right, so that's about 76mg.
I'm entering a new phase, so I believe, I'm sitting here, finished work, all went well despite me being off my face if anyone knew. I sniffed half a gram of gabapentin to wake me up a bit, I feel it dumping me down around now, I had two bowls of mild weed too, I save the mind blowing stuff for after work, so I'm packing a bowl as I type. The new problem I'm facing is my cravings have changed, become less friendly if that makes sense. I'm getting the sort of cravings I used to have for alcohol, those eased in my forties and I don't have any problem with leaving half a glass of wine and seeing it thrown down the sink these days. My cravings for alcohol are gone and opiates look very willing to replace it in my heart and that ought to scare the hell out of me, but I'm high as the proverbial kite so I'm not scared at all.
I have always believed myself to be somewhat autistic and this has been my special interest for a couple of years now. I think I just need to ride it out because I keep trying to get off it and it hurts and I'm a wimp. I have no idea where this path is going and my inate boredom is aroused by that mystery. Fuck I really ought tyo grow up.

 

[Squeaky]

I came at it from the other angle. I was hurting and the doctor wouldn't give me so much as an aspirin because he knew I was lying, but I wasn't.
I changed doctors, but I also started on pod tea, it was seed tea at first but that is dangerous, pods are pretty safe. So I now have total control over whether or not I feel that sensation called pain, except of course I don't because it wears off and increasing is just a fact of life to deal with. I bring my use down, then it goes back up. I'd 25g this morning and the world is a better place to be in. Fertile said it's 0.35% morphine approx, sounds right, so that's about 76mg.
I'm entering a new phase, so I believe, I'm sitting here, finished work, all went well despite me being off my face if anyone knew. I sniffed half a gram of gabapentin to wake me up a bit, I feel it dumping me down around now, I had two bowls of mild weed too, I save the mind blowing stuff for after work, so I'm packing a bowl as I type. The new problem I'm facing is my cravings have changed, become less friendly if that makes sense. I'm getting the sort of cravings I used to have for alcohol, those eased in my forties and I don't have any problem with leaving half a glass of wine and seeing it thrown down the sink these days. My cravings for alcohol are gone and opiates look very willing to replace it in my heart and that ought to scare the hell out of me, but I'm high as the proverbial kite so I'm not scared at all.
I have always believed myself to be somewhat autistic and this has been my special interest for a couple of years now. I think I just need to ride it out because I keep trying to get off it and it hurts and I'm a wimp. I have no idea where this path is going and my inate boredom is aroused by that mystery. Fuck I really ought tyo grow up.

I was hoping to keep this one a secret, but since you said it first...... I am Autistic. Asperger’s to be precise. Wasn’t aware until my 30’s. Been trying to be ‘normal’ my whole life and got really good at faking it. Used alcohol as a ‘mood stabilizer’ for many, many years. I’m guessing opiates took it’s place. I basically stopped drinking around the time of my first real script of oxy. It’s not great, but it’s really good sometimes- NOT!. Doesn’t feel great to have no idea why people think I’m an asshole, but it also means I can figure out stuff that nobody else can understand.

My only advice Papercuts is that if you are like me, your best bet is to find out for sure. My life got 10x better when the people who care about me knew the truth. Life is so much better when my spouse can help me predict what situations are good or bad for me. And it really helped my marriage when the person laying in bed next to me became frustrated about not understanding instead of just thinking I was being selfish or lazy.

 

[Squeaky]

Google “autism test”. I scored something like %98 on almost every test I took

 

[lolis my thesis]

Im craving clonazepam; took my dose 12 hrs early today and I want more; Life just happens! my ex wife contacts me out of the blue saying I owe my kids some money; like we lent it to ourselves out of their paychecks from them to us for business expenses. I racked my brain and realized one of our kids never drew a paycheck; therefore it could not have happened! kid never generated a check from which to take from(borrow), But she had a handwritten total, on top and covering a bank receipt, essentially showing nothing. Scare tactics! After I hadn't spoken to her for 6 months. So I had to let her know she was full of shit; but it put me on edge and made me wanna drug myself into oblivion. So lord, buddah, fellow humans gimme strength. I thought I was done with her and she concocts some bullshit scheme. I provided trading accounts to the tune of 20k for both my kids and do nothing but support them when they need it. I blocked her number; can't gaslight me that hard.

 

[papercuts]

I was hoping to keep this one a secret, but since you said it first...... I am Autistic. Asperger’s to be precise. Wasn’t aware until my 30’s. Been trying to be ‘normal’ my whole life and got really good at faking it. Used alcohol as a ‘mood stabilizer’ for many, many years. I’m guessing opiates took it’s place. I basically stopped drinking around the time of my first real script of oxy. It’s not great, but it’s really good sometimes- NOT!. Doesn’t feel great to have no idea why people think I’m an asshole, but it also means I can figure out stuff that nobody else can understand.

My only advice Papercuts is that if you are like me, your best bet is to find out for sure. My life got 10x better when the people who care about me knew the truth. Life is so much better when my spouse can help me predict what situations are good or bad for me. And it really helped my marriage when the person laying in bed next to me became frustrated about not understanding instead of just thinking I was being selfish or lazy.

Many months ago I suggested you allow private messaging because I thought you sounded like me that way, I'm not surprised.
My husband is great without a diagnosis, he knows I start to freak out in crowds or if the noise level is high or if the lights are weird, he is protective. Early in our marriage I think he doubted it was real, but after 28 years living together he knows how real this is for me and also how unbreakable my interest will be in whatever it is that catches my fancy for a year or three. Between you, me and the internet, I think my husband is probably on this spectrum too, he is the clown who never really connects with anyone deeply and my unwavering loyalty to him and our kids has made him trust me while he trusts noone else. After we learned how to communicate with each other, lol, I could have killed either me or him early on, but we worked it out and are inseparable now. I took to writing him letters early in our marriage because I express myself ten times better in writing than face to face (love the internet, lol) and he slows down enough (he defo has ADHD) to read and listen to written words without being thrown off by facial expressions he misunderstands. Our sons are all pretty intense too, only one has diagnosed special needs, he's living with his girlfriend now, so that's all good.
I'm not all that bothered what anyone else thinks, I don't bother with other people much. I've discussed it with a doctor (different speciality) and he said he certainly saw why I would think of autism, but he thought my symptoms could be anxiety instead. I'm anxious when other people are about, unless I have a drink, a vape, a toke, a snort or a pot of pod tea, then I'm fine.
I already have a disabled badge for my car and a medical excuse for my laziness. The other diagnosis makes autism more likely, they often run together. The only time I would be persuaded to get an autism diagnosis would be if I were up in court for something I'm obsessed with at the time, like my current hobby of getting off my face even more efficiently than I did yesterday.
I really think it is a huge part of the reason we can't break out of the patterns of behaviour we have, change doesn't come quickly or easily.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Dramatic drop from 50mg Diaz to 10mg.

It's how I've always done it and then jump from there. But it sucks so bad, those electric waves, fuck me.

I'm not even at the worst of it yet.

Looking forward to 6 weeks' time when I'll be normal again (hopefully, this is based on multiple benzo withdrawals).

Just a question, seizures... can you 'feel them' coming on or is it just a bang?

Never been though one before, even cold turkey 100mg Diaz a day.

 

[papercuts]

Dramatic drop from 50mg Diaz to 10mg.

It's how I've always done it and then jump from there. But it sucks so bad, those electric waves, fuck me.

I'm not even at the worst of it yet.

Looking forward to 6 weeks' time when I'll be normal again (hopefully, this is based on multiple benzo withdrawals).

Just a question, seizures... can you 'feel them' coming on or is it just a bang?

Never been though one before, even cold turkey 100mg Diaz a day.

Can't imagine you'll start having siezures if you didn't doing CT off 100mg, but I don't know. Keep that date in mind, the future, the better tolerance, whatever your goal is. I get the worst hangovers with benzos, I'm better sticking to opiates, I'm so incredibly slow on diazepam in particular.
So can't answer your question, but good luck!

 

[ChocolateChipTrip]

Psyche meds are the hardest to quit. Anything that makes you calm will make you absolutely insane when you don’t have it. It’s one thing to deal with physical wd’s, but psychological wd’s (especially from gabapentin or lyrica) will make you want to jump off a bridge.

Can you explain Lyrica withdrawal?
I just got my first rx and I’m abusing the hell out of it. I am prescribed it for a legit cause, but 75mg/2x a day is kind of laughable, as I’ve had it since Tuesday and I’ve taken at least 15. I wish I had some self control and could take them as instructed, or at least wait a few days before taking another higher dose….but Im an addict and taking drugs is what I do.
So, I’m going to have to go through WD before the month is out.
Any guidance and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

[papercuts]

Can you explain Lyrica withdrawal?
I just got my first rx and I’m abusing the hell out of it. I am prescribed it for a legit cause, but 75mg/2x a day is kind of laughable, as I’ve had it since Tuesday and I’ve taken at least 15. I wish I had some self control and could take them as instructed, or at least wait a few days before taking another higher dose….but Im an addict and taking drugs is what I do.
So, I’m going to have to go through WD before the month is out.
Any guidance and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Save yourself some for a quick taper or get gabapentin (similar med, one sixth the strength of pregabs) and use the gabs to taper off the pregabs with.
OK, so neither of the above is standing out as realistic advice in the circumstances, you are in for a rough ride if you run out CT, I don't recommend that for sure, it can make people suicidal, even gabapentin withdrawal made me feel suicidal one time, pregabs are the big brother, got to be worse.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Can't imagine you'll start having siezures if you didn't doing CT off 100mg, but I don't know. Keep that date in mind, the future, the better tolerance, whatever your goal is. I get the worst hangovers with benzos, I'm better sticking to opiates, I'm so incredibly slow on diazepam in particular.
So can't answer your question, but good luck!

Thanks man, yeah I think I'm pretty lucky, to be totally honest.

Even two years ago, I cut cold off 30mg Diaz after taking for 6 months, and literally had very, very minimal withdrawals. Just ran every morning for at least an hour and meditated plus a change of environment, no alcohol, and focus on work. Was weird.

Will see how this one goes. All good at 10mg so far but as I said I've still got another 4 days until things start getting real, I might last it out longer instead of jumping off 10mg. Perhaps just a quick jump down to 5mg for a week or 2 then complete jump.

 

[Squeaky]

Can you explain Lyrica withdrawal?
I just got my first rx and I’m abusing the hell out of it. I am prescribed it for a legit cause, but 75mg/2x a day is kind of laughable, as I’ve had it since Tuesday and I’ve taken at least 15. I wish I had some self control and could take them as instructed, or at least wait a few days before taking another higher dose….but Im an addict and taking drugs is what I do.
So, I’m going to have to go through WD before the month is out.
Any guidance and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Yes. Imagine everything in the world running backwards and in high speed right in front of your face, all day long, and it takes a million years to move one minute. It’s sort of indescribable. Really unpleasant.

As Papercuts said.... save some for a quick taper. Maybe enough to cut by 1/2 every 3-4 days. You can make big cuts in daily dosage, a lot more than most other drugs. When I have done it successfully, I would 1/2 my daily dose about once every 5 days until I got to 25mg per day and jump off.

 

[Squeaky]

Dramatic drop from 50mg Diaz to 10mg.

It's how I've always done it and then jump from there. But it sucks so bad, those electric waves, fuck me.

I'm not even at the worst of it yet.

Looking forward to 6 weeks' time when I'll be normal again (hopefully, this is based on multiple benzo withdrawals).

Just a question, seizures... can you 'feel them' coming on or is it just a bang?

Never been though one before, even cold turkey 100mg Diaz a day.

Seizures come without warning. You already feel like shit from the wd’s, so you don’t see that something bad is about to happen. They can be simple on the outside, like you fell asleep. Or they can be dramatic like in the movies. For the person having the seizure, it just feels like you lost a minute and didn’t feel much. But beware... they can be fatal in the right circumstances.

 

[Squeaky]

Im craving clonazepam; took my dose 12 hrs early today and I want more; Life just happens! my ex wife contacts me out of the blue saying I owe my kids some money; like we lent it to ourselves out of their paychecks from them to us for business expenses. I racked my brain and realized one of our kids never drew a paycheck; therefore it could not have happened! kid never generated a check from which to take from(borrow), But she had a handwritten total, on top and covering a bank receipt, essentially showing nothing. Scare tactics! After I hadn't spoken to her for 6 months. So I had to let her know she was full of shit; but it put me on edge and made me wanna drug myself into oblivion. So lord, buddah, fellow humans gimme strength. I thought I was done with her and she concocts some bullshit scheme. I provided trading accounts to the tune of 20k for both my kids and do nothing but support them when they need it. I blocked her number; can't gaslight me that hard.

Smart to block someone like that. Even if it is your children’s mother. You’re no good to your kids when you’re high or in wd from what you got high on.

 

[Squeaky]

Many months ago I suggested you allow private messaging because I thought you sounded like me that way, I'm not surprised.
My husband is great without a diagnosis, he knows I start to freak out in crowds or if the noise level is high or if the lights are weird, he is protective. Early in our marriage I think he doubted it was real, but after 28 years living together he knows how real this is for me and also how unbreakable my interest will be in whatever it is that catches my fancy for a year or three. Between you, me and the internet, I think my husband is probably on this spectrum too, he is the clown who never really connects with anyone deeply and my unwavering loyalty to him and our kids has made him trust me while he trusts noone else. After we learned how to communicate with each other, lol, I could have killed either me or him early on, but we worked it out and are inseparable now. I took to writing him letters early in our marriage because I express myself ten times better in writing than face to face (love the internet, lol) and he slows down enough (he defo has ADHD) to read and listen to written words without being thrown off by facial expressions he misunderstands. Our sons are all pretty intense too, only one has diagnosed special needs, he's living with his girlfriend now, so that's all good.
I'm not all that bothered what anyone else thinks, I don't bother with other people much. I've discussed it with a doctor (different speciality) and he said he certainly saw why I would think of autism, but he thought my symptoms could be anxiety instead. I'm anxious when other people are about, unless I have a drink, a vape, a toke, a snort or a pot of pod tea, then I'm fine.
I already have a disabled badge for my car and a medical excuse for my laziness. The other diagnosis makes autism more likely, they often run together. The only time I would be persuaded to get an autism diagnosis would be if I were up in court for something I'm obsessed with at the time, like my current hobby of getting off my face even more efficiently than I did yesterday.
I really think it is a huge part of the reason we can't break out of the patterns of behaviour we have, change doesn't come quickly or easily.

Yep. I have the same problem in social settings. And my wife helps me the same way.

 

[ChocolateChipTrip]

Yes. Imagine everything in the world running backwards and in high speed right in front of your face, all day long, and it takes a million years to move one minute. It’s sort of indescribable. Really unpleasant.

As Papercuts said.... save some for a quick taper. Maybe enough to cut by 1/2 every 3-4 days. You can make big cuts in daily dosage, a lot more than most other drugs. When I have done it successfully, I would 1/2 my daily dose about once every 5 days until I got to 25mg per day and jump off.

Thanks for the advice. I need to taper when it gets necessary, but I’m not sure I have the self-control to save some.

Will weed help?

 

[ChocolateChipTrip]

Save yourself some for a quick taper or get gabapentin (similar med, one sixth the strength of pregabs) and use the gabs to taper off the pregabs with.
OK, so neither of the above is standing out as realistic advice in the circumstances, you are in for a rough ride if you run out CT, I don't recommend that for sure, it can make people suicidal, even gabapentin withdrawal made me feel suicidal one time, pregabs are the big brother, got to be worse.

What does CT mean? I’m extremely new to this forum and some of the acronyms are Greek to me.

I didn’t withdraw from Gabapentin because Doc switched it to Lyrica and I just went from one to the other. I had gained 20lbs in 6 weeks on Gaba. For real. Can’t take that.

The Lyrica high is so much better! It’s scary that it’s so good and I have so much of it that I can really get bombed.

But I want to save it and be able to last to the end of the month. Ugh.

Thanks for your guidance!

 

[lolis my thesis]

The lyrica high is gone after a week or less due to tolerance. it still works as a bit of social lubrication; and for nerve pain maybe.
But the withdrawal is very much like benzo withdrawal; racing heart; feeling on edge and restless. However; it seems to be way easier to taper. I am on 150 mg/day; and am prescribed 450/day. Abused it for years, realized I wasn't getting high, so went down to the 150/day. Also, I could get a high from them again from taking 300/450 mg. Feeling "lyrical", talkative, bouncy, a little drunk. If I took 600 mg or more; I would be stumbling drunk, like cant ride a bicycle kinda drunk. So the high goes away quick; tapering is easier; but withdrawal is similar to benzos. But somehow the w/d makes you feel super duper depressed, some say suicidal, but I just feel very empty and could maybe say anhedonia sets in. I am comfortable on 150 mg/ C/T means cold turkey, or stopping without tapering.
So its good advice to save a few at least to taper with.
Good luck; I feel stuck at 150/day, but have other meds to taper so I am just content to take a smaller amount of it and not abuse it. The high, I enjoyed it too. But it goes away quick; I think you can only get high on it once a week or so as tolerance is so quick to develop.