Social The mentality and thinking in being a sex-worker - ?

[Atomic_Decay]

Thing is though, bumping into a woman with whom there's chemistry and both of you know the sex would be good..... this happens all the time (to me at least).

Only, actually making the sex happen isn't as straight forward, for any number of reasons (no immediate access to a private room often being one).

IME a lot of sex workers will claim they hate their clients, but mainly cause to say otherwise.... I think it can make them feel cheap?

Of course sex workers are going to fuck clients they don't like, it's money.
But plenty good dudes attend sex workers too; she's sat about all day, probably get horny, meets a nice dude, of course she's going enjoy the sex.

lol - naughty naughty.

I think that is a very big assumption. And I strongly suspect that your definition of a ‘good dude’ is different to most women and to most sex workers.

Lot’s of sex workers want their clients to pay/fuck/leave as fast as possible and they don’t even open their minds to possibility the current one might be a ‘good dude’.

Almost without exception the sex workers I know have all had the same experience of a superficially nice guy seeing them for a while, sweet talking them, maybe convincing them to have a date outside the shop. and then INEVITABLY turning out to be a woman hating cunt who makes their lives a misery for a while.

Fortunately women working in brothels can have management ban these guys. Less easy for women working solo.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Lot’s of sex workers want their clients to pay/fuck/leave as fast as possible and they don’t even open their minds to possibility the current one might be a ‘good dude’.

yep, if you can get someone to book an hour and have them worn out and done in 40 mins, gotta be over half an hour so they don't try and get any money back (times available were 15/30/60 mins), that's the dream. or someone who wants to do loads of horrendous shit so you can rinse them for as much cash as possible and then still get them to blow their load as quickly as possible.

 

[Atomic_Decay]

yep, if you can get someone to book an hour and have them worn out and done in 40 mins, gotta be over half an hour so they don't try and get any money back (times available were 15/30/60 mins), that's the dream. or someone who wants to do loads of horrendous shit so you can rinse them for as much cash as possible and then still get them to blow their load as quickly as possible.

If you don’t mind me asking, did you have drug fiend customers that just wanted to get high with you and would share their drugs with you?

 

[JohnBoy2000]

yep, if you can get someone to book an hour and have them worn out and done in 40 mins, gotta be over half an hour so they don't try and get any money back (times available were 15/30/60 mins), that's the dream. or someone who wants to do loads of horrendous shit so you can rinse them for as much cash as possible and then still get them to blow their load as quickly as possible.

Jebus, that sounds so depraved.

Some sex workers will think like this, but definitely not all IMO.

(to double check, you were a heterosexual sex worker?)

 

[JohnBoy2000]

I think that is a very big assumption. And I strongly suspect that your definition of a ‘good dude’ is different to most women and to most sex workers.

Lot’s of sex workers want their clients to pay/fuck/leave as fast as possible and they don’t even open their minds to possibility the current one might be a ‘good dude’.

Almost without exception the sex workers I know have all had the same experience of a superficially nice guy seeing them for a while, sweet talking them, maybe convincing them to have a date outside the shop. and then INEVITABLY turning out to be a woman hating cunt who makes their lives a misery for a while.

Fortunately women working in brothels can have management ban these guys. Less easy for women working solo.

This is very depressing to read.

 

[Jabberwocky]

If you don’t mind me asking, did you have drug fiend customers that just wanted to get high with you and would share their drugs with you?

sadly not!! but i think its cos i got my punters over the internet. in fact most punters are put off if you're obviously out your gourd. i had to make sure not to smoke any crack for the 10 mins before each arrived cos it pretty much guaranteed they'd see my face and leave.

Jebus, that sounds so depraved.

Some sex workers will think like this, but definitely not all IMO.

(to double check, you were a heterosexual sex worker?)

i was a heterosexual sex worker.

i had a lot of things done to me without my consent over a long period of time, i had to not care to survive that and still got so obsessed with murdering the person doing it to me that i had to move cities cos it woulda gone badly if i'd tried anything. so due to that i was prepared to do a lot of things most sex workers won't. you get a lot of money for niche interests.

i now have as much trauma due to the sex work as i do due to the sexual violence so wasn't a great choice, but when you are choosing between selling your body for £120 vs £400 an hour to buy crack and heroin, good life choices are a thing of the past.

 

[JohnBoy2000]

i can only talk from my own experience.... but i didn't hate all my clients. i did sex work to support a very expensive drug addiction, and was only able to do it due to severe past sexual traumas forcing me to turn off the connection between emotion and sex.

the dirty old men with wedding rings, the people who try and fuck you without a condom when you've said that's not available, they can get fucked. but the people who you can actually have an interesting conversation and decent sex with, then give you a blinding review on ukpunting, they're ok.

I mean here, this is the truth IMO.

There's clients a worker just wants to get done with.

But then there's stand up gents, nice people, the sex can be good.

Of course a worker may well enjoy that.

 

[Jabberwocky]

But then there's stand up gents, nice people, the sex can be good.

Of course a worker may well enjoy that.

yeah for sure.

i have some great memories of some of my punters. mostly those who gave me free cocaine lol. one gave me free cocaine and a hairy chest (which i have a proper thing for lol) i ended up giving him loads of time for free cos he was just cool and good at sex.

its really important to emphasise this given what i siad above about having a lot of trauma also, sex work isn't by definition traumatic. i got wise pretty quick to which punters not to accept, if i'd have been less desperate for money right this minute then i'd have avoided a lot of the worst without having to learn the hard way.

 

[JohnBoy2000]

yeah for sure.

i have some great memories of some of my punters. mostly those who gave me free cocaine lol. one gave me free cocaine and a hairy chest (which i have a proper thing for lol) i ended up giving him loads of time for free cos he was just cool and good at sex.

its really important to emphasise this given what i siad above about having a lot of trauma also, sex work isn't by definition traumatic. i got wise pretty quick to which punters not to accept, if i'd have been less desperate for money right this minute then i'd have avoided a lot of the worst without having to learn the hard way.

Nice.

So, I would also contend that probably most sex workers are not necessarily doing it to fuel a drug addiction.

Therefore, they would have more of the positive good sex, whilst avoiding the negative clients (which you weren't in a position to do).

I'm just trying to dispel his age old idea that it's by default "commercialized rape", every client is a scumbag and the workers hate their lives and the job, never enjoy sex with clients etc.

WRONG.

A lot of girls enjoy it as a form of work, some potentially just highly sexually driven and if a client can fuck them good (some dudes just can't fuck), they'll definitely like it.

 

[Atomic_Decay]

sadly not!! but i think its cos i got my punters over the internet. in fact most punters are put off if you're obviously out your gourd. i had to make sure not to smoke any crack for the 10 mins before each arrived cos it pretty much guaranteed they'd see my face and leave.

I think meth/ice has changed this a bit. There are a huge number of sex workers workers in Sydney specialising in partying on meth with clients.

These clients are not usually the daily dependent meth users, but guys who want to source their meth in a safe place, get just enough for the night, and have a chem-sex fuck fest for 5 hours or more maybe once a month.

I know meth dependent sex workers who offer this but also many ladies who really only pretend to smoke (it a neat trick how they do this) and see it as a good way to hook in a client for a long session. Even though many meth fuelled clients can be difficult to handle if not actually dangerous.

I have sometimes thought that a few meth dependent sex workers I know do enjoy the whole party in the moment, but like most people who debauch themselves on drugs they regret it if they ever stop to think about it.

That said, every single woman I know doing this work now keeps an ice pipe in her room for customers -,whether she herself indulges or not.

I have seen some customers who had no idea what meth is actually get hooked on it at the encouragement of the ladies. Which is pretty tragic all round I think.

 

[Atomic_Decay]

Nice.

So, I would also contend that probably most sex workers are necessarily doing it to fuel a drug addiction.

Therefore, they would have more of the positive good sex, whilst avoiding the negative clients (which you weren't in a position to do).

I'm just trying to dispel his age old idea that it's by default "commercialized rape", every client is a scumbag and the workers hate their lives and the job, never enjoy sex with clients etc.

WRONG.

A lot of girls enjoy it as a form of work, some potentially just highly sexually driven and if a client can fuck them good (some dudes just can't fuck), they'll definitely like it.

I get where you are going with this and I would like nothing more than to be assured the sex workers I visit enjoy the experience as much as I do.

But even if that were true it defies belief that two pleasant hours with me could ever balance the other 10 hours of drunken repugnant men she might face on a bad night.

And I am absolutely certain that almost NO sex worker I know wants to be “fucked good” as you put it at the end of their shift. They might genuinely want to be held, caressed, touched, cuddled and otherwise treated gently and respectfully in a non-sexual but still tactile way - but they really don’t want to be penetrated, “fucked” as you say, by yet another man.

I’m curious what you imagine this sex-worker satisfying good fucking to consist of? Paint us a picture if you will…

 

[Eligiu]

I have to massively disagree with the statement that most sex workers do it because of a drug addiction. The first thing I paid for with sex work money was my testosterone for hormone replacement therapy as going without was simply not an option. The next week I paid for a week's worth of food and my gym membership to shower and wash. After that I bought a textbook I needed to get for uni and I'd keep loads of funds on my public transport card so I wouldn't get fucking stuck like I occasionally did walking 10km back to wherever I was sleeping after cramming for an exam.

Once I hit a reliable connection for heroin which lasted around a month, I sprialled fast. I honestly didnt use heroin a ridiculous amount of times over the 2 years my addiction was terrible. Not for my superb lack of effort. I just had basically no fucking luck and my city is notoriously dry. It's the meth capital. But psychologically my pull to heroin is ridiculous because not only do I know for a fact it is undeniably my drug of choice, I prefer IV use so given opiates are my main drug if I'm gonna use one, clearly it's heroin as first choice. The other reason is that after all this time and all the stuff it led to on the (thankfully) limited occasions I could source it, I honestly still to this fucking day feel ripped off I didn't get to use it more. And that is the reason why after I used a single dose of heroin one night last year I ran to state drug treatment services and explained all that and now I'd stupidly taught myself how to use the dark web and if they did not stick me on maintenance therapy that week as a preventative measures it was really only matter of time.

The heroin. Yes when I could source it I would do anything for another bag. I won't go over the shit. Allowing myself to misgendered. Fucking Jesus yikes.

And this is the reason I was so deadset on maintainance therapy even though I was not really hooked. I now had a reliable source and it would be a fukcing matter of weeks before I would be letting men old enough to be my dad do some weird trans fetish bullshit on me where they search me as a trans man out specifically then ask for odd things like me dressed as a woman or in feminine clothes, me to refer to myself as my birthname (lol, I did not do that I made a fake one up Jesus dude) or me to talk about how pretty and feminine being with them made me feel.

And only heroin can make me cross those otherwise never infringed boundaries.

Side note, it's been since 2016 and like yes big gap in sex work. I have ruminated on those freak weird misgendering femme loving clients I had and I cannot for the fucking life of me figure out why they wanted a person who medically transitioned from female into a masculine person who passes as an assigned male guy without any doubt, only to tell him to then dress as a girl, refer to himself as a girl, misgender himself and do other excruciating shit. If anyone can offer me any kind of logical explanation for this bizarre but routine behaviour I would be much obliged. Usually I can pick apart most tramsphobic stuff and identify the key factors and reasons but this has remained a mystery.

 

[JohnBoy2000]

I get where you are going with this and I would like nothing more than to be assured the sex workers I visit enjoy the experience as much as I do.

But even if that were true it defies belief that two pleasant hours with me could ever balance the other 10 hours of drunken repugnant men she might face on a bad night.

And I am absolutely certain that almost NO sex worker I know wants to be “fucked good” as you put it at the end of their shift. They might genuinely want to be held, caressed, touched, cuddled and otherwise treated gently and respectfully in a non-sexual but still tactile way - but they really don’t want to be penetrated, “fucked” as you say, by yet another man.

I’m curious what you imagine this sex-worker satisfying good fucking to consist of? Paint us a picture if you will…

Pretty much the contents of my blog reflects this.

Folk seem to think sex with SW'ers or non SW'ers is so different.

Physiologically, it's not.

So what does satisfying good fucking consist of?

1) emotional hyperpolarization (mediated via neural hyperpolarization)

2) depolarization, offloading that high/crazy emotion into intimacy (mediated in neural depolarization = action potential propagation = feeling/sensation and pleasure).

i.e. adequate nerve/neural stimulation.

 

[Atomic_Decay]

Pretty much the contents of my blog reflects this.

Folk seem to think sex with SW'ers or non SW'ers is so different.

Physiologically, it's not.

So what does satisfying good fucking consist of?

1) emotional hyperpolarization (mediated via neural hyperpolarization)

2) depolarization, offloading that high/crazy emotion into intimacy (mediated in neural depolarization = action potential propagation = feeling/sensation and pleasure).

i.e. adequate nerve/neural stimulation.

Ok: so there needs to be an emotional component for both partners? And intimacy?

Is “fucking” the ideal word here then?

 

[JohnBoy2000]

Ok: so there needs to be an emotional component for both partners? And intimacy?

Is “fucking” the ideal word here then?

Emotion is just an accurate characterization of "feeling", mediated in neural spikes.
i.e. no feeling = no sensation = definitely no orgasm.

Talking more about high emotion, craziness, typically created by being offensive almost, in some capacity (emotionally).

Giving way to intimacy/depolarization = explosive electrochemistry.

i.e. we're making their highest most crazy feeling, enter and course through their most intimate and sensitive inner places.

.........

Fucking?

Absolutely.

 

[Atomic_Decay]

Emotion is just an accurate characterization of "feeling", mediated in neural spikes.
i.e. no feeling = no sensation = definitely no orgasm.

Talking more about high emotion, craziness, typically created by being offensive almost, in some capacity (emotionally).

Giving way to intimacy/depolarization = explosive electrochemistry.

i.e. we're making their highest most crazy feeling, enter and course through their most intimate and sensitive inner places.

.........

Fucking?

Absolutely.

Hmmm…I’m really trying to follow along here and I’m definitely trying to give you the benefit of the doubt where my first reaction is not entirely positive.

But here you seem to be speaking in a language or code that makes sense only to you.

For example I think you are giving “intimacy” and “emotion” special meanings different to how most people interpret those words. Is that possible?

Consequently I can’t tell if you are making these women feel cherished as human beings or borderline assaulting them in the pursuit of the requisite “emotional”/sexual tension.

That’s why I was interested in you describing what happens physically in your encounters.

 

[Eligiu]

I don't think any kind of emotional connection is required for good sex. I use Grindr as a hookup app sometimes and don't get paid every time I have sex and I've had perfectly reasonable sex with guys on that app who I just met that night. If they weren't a weirdo and the sex was particularly good then I'd add their contact details and meet up again.

 

[Atomic_Decay]

I don't think any kind of emotional connection is required for good sex. I use Grindr as a hookup app sometimes and don't get paid every time I have sex and I've had perfectly reasonable sex with guys on that app who I just met that night. If they weren't a weirdo and the sex was particularly good then I'd add their contact details and meet up again.

I kind of feel the same way, and have had plenty of wonderful one night stands. But I don’t think I’ve had too many really good ones that were purely physical - except maybe at uni way back when.

Even in a one night stand I like to feel an emotional connection - even if it’s only fleeting. But I tend to fall in love a little bit with anyone prepared to handle my dick. Sometimes being ln love is more beautiful when it only lasts a few hours and is then gone forever.

 

[JohnBoy2000]

I don't think any kind of emotional connection is required for good sex. I use Grindr as a hookup app sometimes and don't get paid every time I have sex and I've had perfectly reasonable sex with guys on that app who I just met that night. If they weren't a weirdo and the sex was particularly good then I'd add their contact details and meet up again.

Men and women stimulate differently.

For women, there must ABSOLUTELY be emotional involvement in some capacity to experience pleasure/stimulation.

Men are typically primed and need to unload.

Women need to get fired up before they're ready.

 

[JohnBoy2000]

Hmmm…I’m really trying to follow along here and I’m definitely trying to give you the benefit of the doubt where my first reaction is not entirely positive.

But here you seem to be speaking in a language or code that makes sense only to you.

For example I think you are giving “intimacy” and “emotion” special meanings different to how most people interpret those words. Is that possible?

Consequently I can’t tell if you are making these women feel cherished as human beings or borderline assaulting them in the pursuit of the requisite “emotional”/sexual tension.

That’s why I was interested in you describing what happens physically in your encounters.

I have seen an extremely select few sex workers on a few individual occasions, exclusively for experimental neurological purposes.

i.e. emotional affect implicated in view of physiological response.

As per my blog, for the last number of years I've been modifying and tweaking a cognitive approach, which directly implicates emotional-affect, therefore, determines potential physiological outcome (potential for stimulation and/or orgasm).

So, given cognitive modifications, the responses have varied, with a view to at some point eliciting the optimal physiological outcome (by way of having determined the optimal cognitive setup).


So, what happens in physical encounters?

It doesn't really matter. What matters is what will happen when I have optimized the process.

And I am EXTREMELY curious myself to see what that will look like, both behaviorally, socially and sexually.