Ill b judged 4dis but ok

[Jabberwocky]

So i always got really mad n judgemental when someone excused or justified a rapist just cus they were friends or close, but recently, one of my best friends did that, he fucking did the thing, raped his gf, he was someone who always let me crash in his house when i was sick or had no money, he always had my back, defended me from drunk people, etc, so when he told me what he did, i was suddenly one of those ppl i hate that are friends with rapists? i was actively trying to help him quit sniffing glue (lmfao) but now idk... on his defense, dat hoe stabbed him in the belly, trashed his whole house, and encouraged him to hurt himself, for a long time, before he even did that. Still, i dont wanna hurt him by exposing what he did, but whats fair is fair... right?

 

[arrall]

It sounds like both your best friend and his girlfriend have treated each other horribly. She stabbed him, encouraged him to self-harm, and trashed his house. He fucking raped her and admitted it to you. Telling people about what he did is up to the victim (his girlfriend), not you. But neither one sounds like someone who treats those close to them very well.

I suggest that you just distance yourself from both of them as much as possible and - if possible - cut them both out of your life completely. I've had to cut people who were there for me (and also let me crash at their places when I was kicked out) out of my life before too. It fucking sucks and it certainly isn't easy, but it is the right thing to do.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Would you say thats the final option and that there is no way to help him or make the situation better? maybe make him see what he did because he dont seem to understand how badly he fucked up, he prolly doesnt think that what he did is bad and might not see that she is as bad as he is

 

[arrall]

Would you say thats the final option and that there is no way to help him or make the situation better? maybe make him see what he did because he dont seem to understand how badly he fucked up, he prolly doesnt think that what he did is bad and might not see that she is as bad as he is

You can't help somebody who doesn't want it. Unless he indicates to you that he wants the help, any efforts probably will just create drama and make him defensive. You don't want to be criticizing his girlfriend and have him take the role of defending her and saying "Oh she's not that bad", because then that will be cemented into his mind.

 

[thistinyspark]

They both sound horribly toxic and like they need to do a lot of work on themselves before they continue or enter into another relationship. It changes the script a little bit when it hits closer to home doesn't it? IMO feeling sorry for or standing up for your friend doesn't necessarily mean you condone his actions. You can express compassion for what he's going through without excusing or accepting his behavior, and personally, I think it takes a good friend to call a friend out on their bullshit. I would keep it between the two of you if you do decide to get involved because it's really not your business/situation to share or speak on.

 

[Jabberwocky]

You can't help somebody who doesn't want it. Unless he indicates to you that he wants the help, any efforts probably will just create drama and make him defensive. You don't want to be criticizing his girlfriend and have him take the role of defending her and saying "Oh she's not that bad", because then that will be cemented into his mind.

I mean im sure he doesnt know what hes doing, so it wont hurt to make him see, right?

 

[Jabberwocky]

They both sound horribly toxic and like they need to do a lot of work on themselves before they continue or enter into another relationship. It changes the script a little bit when it hits closer to home doesn't it? IMO feeling sorry for or standing up for your friend doesn't necessarily mean you condone his actions. You can express compassion for what he's going through without excusing or accepting his behavior, and personally, I think it takes a good friend to call a friend out on their bullshit. I would keep it between the two of you if you do decide to get involved because it's really not your business/situation to share or speak on.

If you know someone got fucking raped, it automatically becomes your business to call em out, that shit is unexcusable. They are toxic because they are lost. Its never too late to do what is right. Oh and i forgot, they are both satanic. God dont like that shit if u know what i mean....

 

[negrogesic]

i was actively trying to help him quit sniffing glue (lmfao) but now idk... on his defense, dat hoe stabbed him in the belly, trashed his whole house, and encouraged him to hurt himself, for a long time,

Now that is quite a multifaceted situation

 

[Robi]

It sounds like both your best friend and his girlfriend have treated each other horribly. She stabbed him, encouraged him to self-harm, and trashed his house. He fucking raped her and admitted it to you. Telling people about what he did is up to the victim (his girlfriend), not you. But neither one sounds like someone who treats those close to them very well.

I suggest that you just distance yourself from both of them as much as possible and - if possible - cut them both out of your life completely. I've had to cut people who were there for me (and also let me crash at their places when I was kicked out) out of my life before too. It fucking sucks and it certainly isn't easy, but it is the right thing to do.

 

[arrall]

I mean im sure he doesnt know what hes doing, so it wont hurt to make him see, right?

Thought that you meant by "he told me what he did" that he is aware that what he did is rape. If he is not, then absolutely make him aware of that, yes.

If you know someone got fucking raped, it automatically becomes your business to call em out, that shit is unexcusable. They are toxic because they are lost. Its never too late to do what is right. Oh and i forgot, they are both satanic. God dont like that shit if u know what i mean....

You should call him out. But cut both of them out of your life afterwards.

 

[Robi]

how if it was your girl or sister, mother? please take care of your well being, and protect yourself, they are so messed up, who knows it could be your ass next, do wish you mental cleansing of all that, its hardcore, rape is illegal, stabbing him is too, i know deep and profound, thanks arrall, you rock as a mod, help me alot even if yah dont know it