Pornography - unable to reach your full potential

[Foreigner]

I've gone a year without masturbating before. I didn't notice long-term gains. All the gains were short-term. The biggest drag for me is the prolactin release after orgasm. It kills my motivation, energy level, and lowers my health in noticeable ways. It takes a day to recover. But I'm noticing that now that I'm exercising more, taking care of nutrition, and taking herbs and supplements to enhance my body, there isn't so much of a prolactin drag. I tried cabergoline for a while and it countered the prolactin, but I didn't like the side effects. Then I found out I was not consuming enough calcium, and that lowered the prolactin greatly when I corrected it.

A lot of the things nofap claims are unproven and I did not experience at all. For instance, it did not make my hair thicker. I've been progressively balding for years, nothing stops it but DHT inhibition, which is the opposite of healthy.

I enjoy the mental clarity of abstinence, the groundedness, and the extra energy. But I attribute those to low prolactin and higher dopamine (they have an inverse relationship). Prolactin's other name is dopamine-antagonizing hormone. We need dopamine because it creates reward anticipation, which motivates us to do things in life. Prolactin counters that. I suppose it makes sense because if men didn't have prolactin release after ejaculation, they would not stop trying to have sex and probably ignore every other survival requirement.

I don't think all porn is toxic. I think porn is preferable to conjuring one's own thoughts. When masturbation is finished, you can close porn. A thought form lingers, like SS said.

I agree the porn industry is dying. It's because of Christian organizations disguised as ethics boards. I sometimes wonder if the nofap people are just religious people in disguise, or some other special interest group trying to undermine men. They can be quite fanatical.

What abstinence taught me is that sexual activity when there is excess energy in the body is okay. If you have a raging hard on that won't go away then it probably won't matter if you jerk off. If you have to force yourself to get hard then some kind of compulsive thing is happening.

For me, tantric practice makes way more sense than nofap. Sexual arousal can be channeled into healthy energy. The nofap people don't seem to care about that. They promote not getting aroused ever. I appreciate abstinence as a means of dealing with addiction. My ex bf was a sex addict and before he met me, he was abstinent for 6 months. He needed a reset. For the general healthy male population, I think masturbation and ejaculation are healthy when done in moderation. Tantric practice is also why I can't hookup. The energetic connection with strangers is too random. I would much rather masturbate than be with some random guy.

 

[Higherfocus420]

Best greetings to all of you, dear members of the Bluelight community.

Before you close this tab in your web browser immediately, please allow me a chance to explain what this thread is about.

I am well aware that there is already a lot of information on this topic on various internet forums, blogs and video platforms, but despite everything I would like to share knowledge, if permitted, so that other people do not make the same mistakes as I did.

For all those who don't have the time, desire and/or interest to read the message in its entirety (which I fully understand), I will highlight the most important words and phrases.

A few years ago, I became aware of a video on YouTube (to be exact, "The great porn experiment" by Gary Wilson at TED) that talked about the dangers of pornographic films and overstimulation associated with mental illness (mainly depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and obsessive-compulsive disorder). Today there is a worldwide movement that is getting more attention every day.

Some of you may have already heard/read the term “NoFap”. A trend in which people consciously avoid self-pleasure and all pornographic content for several weeks, months, years or even for the rest of their lives.

There are countless positive as well as negative testimonials and experiments. Increased testosterone levels, dominant, likeable voice, full, strong hair, bright eyes (prominent limbal ring), charisma, attractive to the opposite sex, pleasant body odor (pheromones), more fun and joy in life, motivation, energy, and much more.

But as so often, there are two sides of the coin. For others, nothing has changed (a placebo effect at best), so who is telling the truth now?

Many people, especially in Western countries, have come into contact with sexual arousal as early as childhood and adolescence. In my generation there was no fast internet connection or smartphones, instead there were magazines with erotic content and nudity on some TV channels.

Especially during puberty it was completely normal (for us) to get to know your body. However, the problems started with the first computer. Adult movies were everywhere to watch/download (FTP, P2P, IRC).

Someone who regularly consumes pornography needs more and more "artificial" stimulation (more hardcore, perversion, abnormal and extreme material) after a short time, because the body's dopamine receptors are exhausted. In addition, you lose large amounts of zinc, minerals and other nutrients through multiple ejaculations. The hormone prolactin is also released, which negatively affects testosterone production.

If the neurotransmitters (GABA, adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, acetylcholine) are depleted (and they will be, no doubt about it), undesirable effects will occur over time. To name a few examples that are common: mood swings, exhaustion, emptiness, nervousness, hair loss, unattractiveness, weakness, no motivation to meet the opposite sex, etc.

Unfortunately, this industry will never go away, because the operators behind such websites earn several millions every year and enjoy their lives in the most beautiful places. It's no secret that major providers of sports betting, casino games, adult entertainment, pornography (and more) are based in countries like Cyprus or Malta. Perfect places for corruption, anonymity and money laundering.

As these people explore the beauty of this world, much of the working-class population becomes dependent and sick.

"We know what they want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else." - George Carlin

Thank you very much for reading my message.

I would be really happy to read answers how you feel about this topic. Have you already had your own experiences and if so, what were the results?

God bless.

Reply

Not ejaculating is actually bad for you and can increase risk of prostate cancer human are supposed to have sex

 

[Fiori di Bella]

I know we’ve been speaking about men here but…
Speaking as a woman, I have heard, not certain if I have read it, some time ago that frequent clitoral stimulation by a vibrator which results in orgasm, makes it difficult to reach orgasm with a partner, minus a battery operated device.
I cannot speak to this issue, but I would be interested to hear what others have to say. I assume this female stimulation could include pornography or might not. I assume the point had mostly to do with the sensations that are generated by a vibrator, and the fact that a vibrator provides a certain consistency to its sensations, whereas a human grows weary. Thus, if it takes 40 minutes for a woman to reach orgasm, a vibrator is meeting her needs and a partner will likely never be able to keep up with this. If she can put down the vibrator, the thought is that human contact is more important than the consistent sensation, without any human connection.
Anyway, I’m not saying this is accurate, just that this is something I’d heard.

Thoughts?

 

[arrall]

I know we’ve been speaking about men here but…
Speaking as a woman, I have heard, not certain if I have read it, some time ago that frequent clitoral stimulation by a vibrator which results in orgasm, makes it difficult to reach orgasm with a partner, minus a battery operated device.
I cannot speak to this issue, but I would be interested to hear what others have to say. I assume this female stimulation could include pornography or might not. I assume the point had mostly to do with the sensations that are generated by a vibrator, and the fact that a vibrator provides a certain consistency to its sensations, whereas a human grows weary. Thus, if it takes 40 minutes for a woman to reach orgasm, a vibrator is meeting her needs and a partner will likely never be able to keep up with this. If she can put down the vibrator, the thought is that human contact is more important than the consistent sensation, without any human connection.
Anyway, I’m not saying this is accurate, just that this is something I’d heard.

Thoughts?

As a male, this is something I have unfortunately experienced (Replace vibrator with masturbation) and the significant desensitization has become a big issue. I can finish after a while from getting my dick sucked, but have never been able to finish from sex alone.

 

[Fiori di Bella]

Interesting, @arrall, that you’ve had experience with this.
Oral sex seems to provide a special something beyond regular sex, so I’m not surprised to hear oral sex is effective against any loss of sensation with a partner due to masturbation.

 

[jestersblood]

It depends on what kind of circumcision is being performed on women. If the entire clitoris is removed, orgasm is basically impossible, but sometimes they just remove the hood or part of the hood.

Both male and female circumcision is wrong. They don't differ much in that department. Some men experience pain when having sex or getting erections due to circumcision. For men and women, it is a non consensual surgical procedure designed to ruin sex by reducing sensation.

fair nuff, I respect your opinion , agree to peacefully and respectably disagree?

 

[Jabberwocky]

Replace vibrator with masturbation

I remember doing this when I was young and I remember it being quite intense, I had one of those big ass hand held back vibrators. I almost want to try it again now, it's been so long...

I could totally see how that could change things for you

 

[arrall]

I remember doing this when I was young and I remember it being quite intense, I had one of those big ass hand held back vibrators. I almost want to try it again now, it's been so long...

I could totally see how that could change things for you

Nah didn't mean that I'd tried a vibrator. Never tried it, but using a vibrator on your cock does sound fucking intense.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Nah didn't mean that I'd tried a vibrator. Never tried it, but using a vibrator on your cock does sound fucking intense.

oh lol, yeah, it is as I remember

 

[Jerry Atrick]

I can finish after a while from getting my dick sucked, but have never been able to finish from sex alone.

Interesting. I guess this shows how we're all different. I can easily finish from sex but fellatio alone rarely if ever gets me there.

 

[Fiori di Bella]

Interesting. I guess this shows how we're all different. I can easily finish from sex but fellatio alone rarely if ever gets me there.

Yes, it’s amazing to consider that as much as we have in common, we’re all sexually quite unique. What gets us off may not have the same kick for someone who shares our same age, weight, height or who comes from a similar background.

 

[Salino438]

How is the no fap train different to the no sex train (in terms of concentration and mindfulness)? Are we talking about the benefits of sexual abstinence here? If not, how specifically does any of this apply to masturbation? Surely having sex frequently would cause the same things to allegedly happen with receptors in your brain and mineral levels, etc.

Also, another thing I don't get with the dopamine receptor thing... What's the difference between looking at a naked woman in person and looking at one on screen? I don't see how pornography causes something to happen to the receptors in your brain unless it also happens when you have sex.

Good day.

First of all, thank you very much for all the interesting, informative and helpful replies. I deliberately waited a few days so that this topic would get as much attention as possible. It's really exciting for me to understand other opinions.

I would like to comment on this if permitted.

Yes, as in all areas of life, there are people who do not need increasing stimulation even after a long period of pornographic content, but these people are an exception, not the rule.

Semen contains important nutrients and is not something that should be wasted on a regular basis. Especially not in the form of self-pleasure.

"Just eat healthy" - this sentence is simply wrong. All food (meat, pasteurized milk, eggs, fish) today is highly polluted and contaminated. Very few people have enough money to buy high-quality, organic products. In addition, the microbiome, especially in western civilization, is completely destroyed by agrochemicals and can hardly absorb any important nutrients. Furthermore, plant-based foods such as nuts, seeds, legumes and grains require preparation before they can be consumed (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antinutrient).

It doesn't matter much if someone believes in the positive changes, the fact is without a doubt that this industry makes people dependent from childhood. Oversexualization (particularly among young adolescents) is not some ridiculous conspiracy by QAnon supporters (who believe overweight politicians with crooked yellow teeth in their mouths and hair loss belong to the so-called "elite") but sad reality.

A "moderate" consumption of erotic and/or pornographic content is wrong. Most men start at a young age and do it several times a day. All of these hormones, neurotransmitters and nutrients are *not* replaced.

Evidence is available on websites such as https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/, https://link.springer.com/, https://journals.sagepub.com/, https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ (and many other sources). If you don't want to search yourself, I can send you exact hyperlinks.

The pornography industry is not dying out. About three months ago there was a documentary reporting on the owner(s) of a large platform.

Not surprisingly, the owners lived in Cyprus with a few million in the bank accounts every year. Self-proclaimed "businessmen" who have no problem making their own species dependent and sick from an early age. Absolutely disgusting.

There is no need to pay for such films or photos. The portals get rich from advertising and traffic. At the beginning of this worldwide pandemic, even free premium accounts were offered by the operators to attract new customers.

But I admit frankly and honestly, it would be great if this industry died. I have absolutely no respect for degenerate parasites that make other people sick.

American comedian George Carlin has spoken of big, wealthy businessmen controlling the general population. And yes, he was right about that. This includes the food industry and pornography.

In a natural environment (in the form of tribes), with no electronics and clothes (except for the private parts), you see your own people naked every day, yes, but they also didn't grow up (at a young age) with content like we did in the "modern" world.

The sexualization of children does not exist there. You can't compare "primitive" people's hormones and neurotransmitters to ours. Also, copulation and intimacy doesn't happen around every corner and every few minutes.

Last but not least:
It is quite possible for someone who has been abstinent for a long period of time to ejaculate while sleeping. This can have many causes. Continued hypersexual content in mind (triggered by pornography, spicy foods, eating too much in the evening, etc.).

Prostate cancer, a fairy tale to make young men believe that self-pleasure is perfectly normal and healthy. The same goes for "the industry is dying". That is why the owners behind such portals live in the most beautiful places in combination with money laundering (millions or even billions a year) and corruption. Meanwhile, the average person is heavily addicted, has no motivation to meet the opposite sex, and believes they can replace nutrients with foods loaded with agrochemicals.

Thank you for reading my message.

 

[birdup]

@Salino438

these people are an exception, not the rule.

That may be true, but I don't think so. Can you prove it?

Semen contains important nutrients and is not something that should be wasted on a regular basis. Especially not in the form of self-pleasure.

As I've said, you can easily consume vitamins and minerals according to your sexual appetite... so this makes little sense to me.

Again it sounds very religious to say people shouldn't masturbate.

I try to just let people be people and not tell them what they should and shouldn't do.

"Just eat healthy" - this sentence is simply wrong. All food (meat, pasteurized milk, eggs, fish) today is highly polluted and contaminated. Very few people have enough money to buy high-quality, organic products. In addition, the microbiome, especially in western civilization, is completely destroyed by agrochemicals and can hardly absorb any important nutrients. Furthermore, plant-based foods such as nuts, seeds, legumes and grains require preparation before they can be consumed (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antinutrient).

I didn't say just eat healthy. I said you can easily compensate for the specific minerals and nutrients you lose from ejaculation by adjusting your diet. It is not expensive or complicated.

It doesn't matter much if someone believes in the positive changes, the fact is without a doubt that this industry makes people dependent from childhood. Oversexualization (particularly among young adolescents) is not some ridiculous conspiracy by QAnon supporters (who believe overweight politicians with crooked yellow teeth in their mouths and hair loss belong to the so-called "elite") but sad reality.

On the contrary. In most English speaking countries adolescents - until recently, anyway - have been repressed. European attitudes towards sex are much healthier. That's why German porn is amazing, because they're not wound up about whether they should or shouldn't get down to it. They're in touch with their bodies and their sexual spirit. And, good for them. No harm in it.

A "moderate" consumption of erotic and/or pornographic content is wrong. Most men start at a young age and do it several times a day. All of these hormones, neurotransmitters and nutrients are *not* replaced.

Do you mean it is wrong even to look at porn moderately or that nobody looks at porn moderately? I have known many men throughout my life that hardly look at porn at all.

You're making a lot of factual statements without backing any of them up.

Most men masturbate several times a day?

That is not what I've read.

Till what age?

If you're talking about teenagers, sure, because society puts them in a cage when they're blossoming sexually and we encourage them not to have sex and fill up their head with images of disease and pregnancy. What else are they supposed to do?

The pornography industry is not dying out. About three months ago there was a documentary reporting on the owner(s) of a large platform.

Not surprisingly, the owners lived in Cyprus with a few million in the bank accounts every year. Self-proclaimed "businessmen" who have no problem making their own species dependent and sick from an early age. Absolutely disgusting.

There is no need to pay for such films or photos. The portals get rich from advertising and traffic. At the beginning of this worldwide pandemic, even free premium accounts were offered by the operators to attract new customers.

But I admit frankly and honestly, it would be great if this industry died. I have absolutely no respect for degenerate parasites that make other people sick.

The porn industry has been in decline for a long time. The fact that they have to rely on advertising because they can't even sell their product any more speaks volumes relative to the golden days of pornography.

I can tell you don't know anyone who works (or has worked) in the industry.

American comedian George Carlin has spoken of big, wealthy businessmen controlling the general population. And yes, he was right about that. This includes the food industry and pornography.

I don't particularly like Carlin. He's an angry man with a very negative view of the world. A lot of his comedy was him just preaching his bitterness. He was the right man for the job at the time. Like Bill Hicks. Now we have a different breed of pseudo-comedians like Hannah Gadsby who are doing the left wing version on their little soapbox.

Having said all that, I understand where Carlin is coming from enough to know that he wasn't advocating for sexual abstinence.

I'm curious: how do you feel about sex for pleasure between two random people who don't know each other and just met on a hook up app?

In a natural environment (in the form of tribes), with no electronics and clothes (except for the private parts), you see your own people naked every day, yes, but they also didn't grow up (at a young age) with content like we did in the "modern" world.

The sexualization of children does not exist there. You can't compare "primitive" people's hormones and neurotransmitters to ours. Also, copulation and intimacy doesn't happen around every corner and every few minutes."

The sexualization of children doesn't exist where?

In primitive societies?

I'd have a look into that if I were you.

It is quite possible for someone who has been abstinent for a long period of time to ejaculate while sleeping. This can have many causes. Continued hypersexual content in mind (triggered by pornography, spicy foods, eating too much in the evening, etc.).

Spicy foods?

People cum in their sleep because that's the natural process if you don't have sex or masturbate. It is not healthy to be completely sexually abstinent and there's plenty of evidence to back that up.

Prostate cancer, a fairy tale to make young men believe that self-pleasure is perfectly normal and healthy.

Prostate cancer is a fairy tale?

Tell that to my grandfather in law... oh, hold on, you can't: he's dead.

The same goes for "the industry is dying". That is why the owners behind such portals live in the most beautiful places in combination with money laundering (millions or even billions a year) and corruption.

There is less and less money in pornography. It doesn't matter if there are still rich pornographers. Of course there are, but there are less of them and they are less rich.

Meanwhile, the average person is heavily addicted, has no motivation to meet the opposite sex, and believes they can replace nutrients with foods loaded with agrochemicals.

I don't think the average person is heavily addicted to pornography. I do agree that it's not good for single people to use pornography as a replacement for sex.

As for the nutrient thing... obviously you can consume minerals and vitamins. I honestly have no idea what you're talking about?

I know what antinutrients are but they don't negate the effect of nutrients if that's what you're thinking?

Do you mind if I ask: are you religious?

 

[Robi]

@Robi

This is Bluelight. We should have hardcore emojis. I'm going to start developing some x-rated emojis and then pitch them to TLB.



Okay, I'm going to have to corner you here and connect some dots. You said there is no significant difference between sex and masturbation, so what is the point of abstaining from masturbation? This discussion, really, is about not ejaculating excessively.



Yeah, there's a growing amount of evidence that suggests sexual activity (in general) for men and women is a "use it or lose it" thing.

If women don't have any penetrative sex for a prolonged period of time, their vagina starts closing up shop. Men are more likely to develop psychological erectile dysfunction if they do not masturbate. Most physical erectile dysfunction is a result of circumcision.

well then think i need to do some activity then(healthful) a well-rounded exercise, you all have inspired me. and some silly adultish emoji`s would be fun, appreciate all you do bird, you have gone up and beyond for BL your dedication is admirable, i do sense a form of love in all that you do, even if some ppl are a pains in the ass, they are OUR pains in the asses

 

[Robi]

Good day.

First of all, thank you very much for all the interesting, informative and helpful replies. I deliberately waited a few days so that this topic would get as much attention as possible. It's really exciting for me to understand other opinions.

I would like to comment on this if permitted.

Yes, as in all areas of life, there are people who do not need increasing stimulation even after a long period of pornographic content, but these people are an exception, not the rule.

Semen contains important nutrients and is not something that should be wasted on a regular basis. Especially not in the form of self-pleasure.

"Just eat healthy" - this sentence is simply wrong. All food (meat, pasteurized milk, eggs, fish) today is highly polluted and contaminated. Very few people have enough money to buy high-quality, organic products. In addition, the microbiome, especially in western civilization, is completely destroyed by agrochemicals and can hardly absorb any important nutrients. Furthermore, plant-based foods such as nuts, seeds, legumes and grains require preparation before they can be consumed (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antinutrient).

It doesn't matter much if someone believes in the positive changes, the fact is without a doubt that this industry makes people dependent from childhood. Oversexualization (particularly among young adolescents) is not some ridiculous conspiracy by QAnon supporters (who believe overweight politicians with crooked yellow teeth in their mouths and hair loss belong to the so-called "elite") but sad reality.

A "moderate" consumption of erotic and/or pornographic content is wrong. Most men start at a young age and do it several times a day. All of these hormones, neurotransmitters and nutrients are *not* replaced.

Evidence is available on websites such as https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/, https://link.springer.com/, https://journals.sagepub.com/, https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ (and many other sources). If you don't want to search yourself, I can send you exact hyperlinks.

The pornography industry is not dying out. About three months ago there was a documentary reporting on the owner(s) of a large platform.

Not surprisingly, the owners lived in Cyprus with a few million in the bank accounts every year. Self-proclaimed "businessmen" who have no problem making their own species dependent and sick from an early age. Absolutely disgusting.

There is no need to pay for such films or photos. The portals get rich from advertising and traffic. At the beginning of this worldwide pandemic, even free premium accounts were offered by the operators to attract new customers.

But I admit frankly and honestly, it would be great if this industry died. I have absolutely no respect for degenerate parasites that make other people sick.

American comedian George Carlin has spoken of big, wealthy businessmen controlling the general population. And yes, he was right about that. This includes the food industry and pornography.

In a natural environment (in the form of tribes), with no electronics and clothes (except for the private parts), you see your own people naked every day, yes, but they also didn't grow up (at a young age) with content like we did in the "modern" world.

The sexualization of children does not exist there. You can't compare "primitive" people's hormones and neurotransmitters to ours. Also, copulation and intimacy doesn't happen around every corner and every few minutes.

Last but not least:
It is quite possible for someone who has been abstinent for a long period of time to ejaculate while sleeping. This can have many causes. Continued hypersexual content in mind (triggered by pornography, spicy foods, eating too much in the evening, etc.).

Prostate cancer, a fairy tale to make young men believe that self-pleasure is perfectly normal and healthy. The same goes for "the industry is dying". That is why the owners behind such portals live in the most beautiful places in combination with money laundering (millions or even billions a year) and corruption. Meanwhile, the average person is heavily addicted, has no motivation to meet the opposite sex, and believes they can replace nutrients with foods loaded with agrochemicals.

Thank you for reading my message.

ty for the message i enjoyed it, im glad its out there to be read, did not understand the prostrate gland and cancer reference but ill look back and finger it out~grins

 

[birdup]

I love you too @Robi.

Another thing I forgot to mention: I have too much energy. It's not a bad thing that sex and masturbation have a relaxing, sedative effect. I'm overflowing with testosterone a lot of the time. I need a release.

Hell, this is BL. At least half of us consume downers on a regular basis.

...

One more thing.

The title of the thread is "Pornography - unable to reach your full potential".

Who reaches their full potential?
That sounds fucking exhausting.

Are people like Trump and Elvis happy?
I'd rather enjoy sex and enjoy my life.

 

[Salino438]

@birdup

It is absolutely terrifying, repulsive and shocking at the same time that you consciously try to misinterpret every word. Prostate cancer was related to sexual abstinence, *not* that such a serious disease doesn't exist.

 

[birdup]

I'm sorry for offending you.

You are offending me a bit with some of your statements because I have always had a ravenous sexual appetite and I felt a lot of shame for that for a long time. It has taken me nearly 40 years to work through all that. Finally, now I am comfortable with who I am.

I am a sexual freak and I'm proud of it.
I will die with no regrets in that department.

I shouldn't have said the cancer thing. When I read it, it sounded like you were saying cancer was a fairy tale. Re-reading it, I realize it was my fault for reading it that way (you touched a nerve) but I stand by the rest of what I said.

I don't think it's fair to say I'm trying to twist your words.

We just disagree. That's all.

 

[Robi]

well i just made a nana and peanut butter sammich and elvis is gumming it to death and looks happy, as for trump, im sure he is, but he gets overly defensive when people are offensive to him, he seems to be happy, but he sure cant handle much criticism, so that denotes a lot of things to me, but i try just to wish him well , if i let my true feeling unleash , well we dont need a shit show(im trying to gain my full potential with porn dammit) , i often want to say many things but it could trigger , and Yea its good to wish(pray for etc) some folks the best, instead of harboring distain wanting them to suffer etc, my granny would say......god bless her heart, instead of........just an example, oh god bless her lil heart, when she was thinking go to hell you idiot, just letting you know elvis is fine and trumps.......happy,iirc
it comes from within, nothing can make you happy,i like the saying, money doesnt buy happiness, BS!!!!, i think thats what monks, evolved and rich people say, now dont quote me on this, bird

 

[Higherfocus420]

As a male, this is something I have unfortunately experienced (Replace vibrator with masturbation) and the significant desensitization has become a big issue. I can finish after a while from getting my dick sucked, but have never been able to finish from sex alone.

Im the opposite I like head but have to have sex to cum I use to get paranoid about desensitisation but if anything I ejaculate too soon at times all depends