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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

Nas47 said:
Feel sad,anxious and frighten somehow.An extra 5mg valium+100 vodka.Many,many people dying around.Covid.First per mortality in the world.6miliion population every day over 300 dead.Cheers
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I feel like that sometimes too, for no reason at all. Usually when it's really bad it is completely debilitating and I have to hide away in bed for a whole day until the feeling goes away.
 
Maybe I am slightly alone in the feeling that every time I feel anxious or worried or annoyed there is actually a specific cause or reason which is usually in my immediate surroundings and environment and often ceases to be a problem when I have basic control over my own personal space ideally I like to have my own space to retire to whenever I need but am certainly no recluse at heart.
 
CondiNoble said:
I feel a bit more off than usual today. Am struggling a lot with social anxiety. Living in a sober house belonging to the rehab centre I spent 9 months in for addiction. I honestly don't know how to force myself to be around people (sober). everytime I am around people i get negative re-inforcement that 'yes it was as horrible as I expected and worse, I never even factored in this even more horrible part to this social interaction prior to it'..

Without a substance I just cannot do it. I am desperately trying to find a doctor that will prescribe me benzodiazepines, however they are rarely ever prescribed long term here and if they find out about previous addiction issues forget it. They are the only thing that allows me get past that barrier to being around people.

I found a box of tramadol xr that are 12 years past their expiry date. These are providing me some much needed relief from the constant ball of stress, worry and anxiety that seems to come with a life in sobriety (for me anyway).. I really dont want to become dependant on them as I was never a big opiate fan so having a day off them today. Fully sober is just how I remember it, fucking painfully tough going!!
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Well your doing awesome to be in a sober house.
Social anxiety is a bitch, but I have got over most of it the past few years. I can tell you what's helped me.

Meditation, it's easy just sit down or lie down and focus on breathing or heartbeat. Gradually over 20 minutes you anxiety will come down.

Anti depressants.

Forcing myself to take some classes around other people.

Any type of therapy.
 
Im managing to do the bare minimum. Feed the cats, cuddle with them, feed me, put on makeup and some days go to the store. There is a heavy weight on my chest and whole body that makes everything so much harder. Maybe meeting a "customer" today since i've already taken a few bensos i've might as well do it. I think it ruins me a bit but being able to buy fucking conditioner, finer cat food and cleaning products makes a hell of a difference. Not having to collect bottles to buy cigarettes. Actually being able to buy the food my body needs.

My stalker-ex gets out in 1,5 years. It feels like being on death row. Just waiting.. waiting.. time moves to fast I cant keep up

Re-watching True Blood and pretending that im not here right here right now its 8 years ago and nothing bad has happened yet
Im not doing great its not rock bottom but i can see it from here im falling
 
on.my.way🌿 said:
Im managing to do the bare minimum. Feed the cats, cuddle with them, feed me, put on makeup and some days go to the store. There is a heavy weight on my chest and whole body that makes everything so much harder. Maybe meeting a "customer" today since i've already taken a few bensos i've might as well do it. I think it ruins me a bit but being able to buy fucking conditioner, finer cat food and cleaning products makes a hell of a difference. Not having to collect bottles to buy cigarettes. Actually being able to buy the food my body needs.

My stalker-ex gets out in 1,5 years. It feels like being on death row. Just waiting.. waiting.. time moves to fast I cant keep up

Re-watching True Blood and pretending that im not here right here right now its 8 years ago and nothing bad has happened yet
Im not doing great its not rock bottom but i can see it from here im falling
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Hey. I really empathize with what you've said. Doing just minor things can be so painful, and no one else can really feel you screaming on the inside, or at least they don't understand what it fully means. It's the worst kind of isolation. But, pressing on, corny as it sounds, really does put things into perspective.

I think that what you do is your own business, so long as it's not hurting anyone, but that includes you. It's hard to know just how to provide for oneself in a sustainable, healthy manner while living in the constrictive settings of the day.

I do think that you will press on and slowly reach a point that is not far from where you were, and may even be superior in some ways. I think that oftentimes the question becomes "why?", but that it can just as easily be "why not?", but I mean that in a healthful context. In my opinion, it is at least as logical to search for the good, as it is in recognizing the bad. And both can be of help. It's just so tricky sometimes.

Do you keep in touch with positive family members or friends? The true ones should allow you to lean on them in these troubling times.

We are, otherwise, hopefully goes without saying, here for you every step of the way. Truly.

Lastly for now I'd like to say that hindsight can really be 20/20. Maybe overall your issues were lesser eight years ago. But we humans easily discount the drawbacks of the past when we evaluate ourselves in the present. Nothing is ever the same. I think that you'll be better prepared for the future in ways that you couldn't have been in the past, by going through the trials of today.
 
PeterRog21 said:
Hey, everyone. To start with, I want to say that it was a great idea to create such a thread, because for me it's better when I share my feeling, even with someone, who doesn't. even know me. It; is a way to drop down some pressure. My whole week has been awful, and I can't remember when I felt so bad. I can't sleep well, even with meds, and in the morning I can't leave my bed. I just lay and think that it's time to start a day, but I can't.
The worst things are evenings, after sunsets.
But I know, that it will be better, sooner or later, and it's the only thing which helps me to survive to the next day.
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Hi and welcome to Bluelight! Thanks for sharing a bit of your story with us <3 Always hold on to that hope that things will get better, because they usually do. I'd love to hear more about your situation. (I'm about to go to bed though so I won't read it til the morning)
 
Mental health vs how I’m feeling
Best advice? Detach from how you’re feeling and keep moving on. Ik that sounds wild, but recognize how you’re feeling, feel good or anxious or whatever and ignore the thoughts that come along with it. BAM now you’re meditating lol
 
I feel sad and depressed and just trying to get used to the feeling. Wow. 💕🌾
And of course add slow into the mix. Maybe I will, maybe I won't unless I have to kind of thing.
Nothing more or nothing less. Right now. But it's just sad enough.
Try to feel better always. ☺
 
Ions will listen to your problems. Provide feedback, so and so, here. I'm addressing your problems, sticking points, setbacks, these things. Even better is a positive story or learning experience that you care to share. I give free consultations, so don't hesitate to PM @ions . Be aware as the day goes on, the drunker I get, and it can be alarming.

Has SHTF? Then spill your story here.

As always, it's safer to address some things in the public eye. Doctor-patient confidentiality bingo. We are very resourceful. PMs if you must.

I'm usually here 8a-6p daily.

So some of my problems. My backosaurus. Trash in throat. Ongoing interference at a psychiatric clinic for schizophrenia.

I trained at university and graduate school. You can hold me accountable. Then off to jails, the legal side. Then off to psych unit, the medical side. These are skills that are learnable in time.

Until we meet again.
The End.
 
For someone who claims they were wrongfully targeted by a miscarriage of justice you certainly like to remind people almost every chance you get about your past legal troubles
 
My problem is im diagnosed as schizophrenic. I got a drug induced psychosis from smoking weed daily. Now i hate being on meds because they make me feel like shit. Ive been on 3 abilify risperisone and flupenexiol. Sin e i keep getting off meds i got out on a community treatment order. Now im forced to get an injection once a month and i desperately wanna get off. Im 29 years old. You got any advice?
 
I'm not sure he's qualified to give advice but then none of us are. The best you can hope for on bluelight.org is to have somebody share their experience and maybe it will dovetail with your own
 
All I can say is don't make it easy on them.

I've been on invega monthly injections since 2013. Invest some money to try to get out of a financial hole. But I haven't found a way to get them to put down the needle. All you can do is charge them. I'm banking on 1million to each nurse who injected, and 1million/mg of antipsychotic forced onto me. I signed my name last time "Fuck You". the nurse said it was inappropriate and refused to schedule any further appointments. So that's a win until they just dump it off on another. I have some other's like siging the forms "drop dead" "let's go brandon".

It's a situation that i'm still working to see my way out of. That's why I have my investments to gain financial independence and move to a place of no needles.

The other hopeful I am is the dollar collapsing. When it's no longer a profit for them, whammo, they're dead.

Marijuana helped me tremendously to get my mind back and internal monologue back.
 
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I feel so sure that no human can help me.

I am helping myself, extraordinarily. Except the tank is beyond exhausted.

And there are more rounds to come. I've done the scrapping. If I was off the ropes, the following rounds could be a consummate breeze.

It's a spot. Nobody can help. Only my mind.
 
Let's say you came into some money @AutoTripper legal LSD and women or one nice female.

I know you have some allergies, so it wouldn't be perfect. And by coming into money, you in theory are doing good work for good money.

Every so often I hit a brick wall, be it a hangover, or just a sad day. Not overwhelming depression. But it's like alternating current. I thought trying to keep the current positive through capacitors, inductors, positive potentials, even tho it AC is negative half the time it travels.

Really, the dollar and global economic collpase is real, and headed to your local atm, bank, and wallet. A huge amount of wealth will transfer.
 
ions said:
Let's say you came into some money @AutoTripper legal LSD and women or one nice female.

I know you have some allergies, so it wouldn't be perfect. And by coming into money, you in theory are doing good work for good money.

Every so often I hit a brick wall, be it a hangover, or just a sad day. Not overwhelming depression. But it's like alternating current. I thought trying to keep the current positive through capacitors, inductors, positive potentials, even tho it AC is negative half the time it travels.

Really, the dollar and global economic collpase is real, and headed to your local atm, bank, and wallet. A huge amount of wealth will transfer.
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Thanks ions hope you are okay bro,

Legal LSD makes no difference to my life and prospects at all now. 25 years ago, you're talking.

I don't desire money, for money aka riches, treasure, material stow.

I just seek comfort, rest, healing, peace.

It's an impossible path. I've kept going as in not giving up at any point.

I seriously need some sleep though, nerve desensitisation and a break from pain. Just for a bit.

I will have that break, if I just go the rounds now. Get centred in the ring again.

atm I can't. I'm beat. A body and mind can only take so much exertion, exhaustion and strain.

After a point almost nothing is willfful.

I would find me a nice woman in time, given time and opportunity for romaance. Non-possible since 2005.

Words like allergies and Lyme just don't do justice.

I'm in a state because I could now teverse all of this biological hack and interference, but I need time- really not countiing on that.

And a whole lot more. Not counting on that either.

But ruling nothing out. I'm looking for a hack here. An extra door, to keep living basically. That's my problem. I'm currently all out of hacks, avenues exhausted.
 
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