Decalcified and Dopesick
Bluelighter
Hello fellow Drug Enthusiasts
First off, I want to say R.I.P to MorningGlorySeed. This thread is very related to his and a few other people's passing that I just recently saw on here when @Xorkoth posted about it. Like many of you, I practically grew up reading MGS reports on Erowid and I'm sad that yet another great mind was lost. This issue has literally made me make an account on here because since my second Ibogaine flood (have now done 3), I have been worried that I severely pissed off the spirit of Papa Iboga and that he may even want to kill me which he assured me that he has the power to do.
I was in over 60 detoxes and well over 30 rehabs for my addiction (mostly heroin but also big time with benzos). I have not been back to one since my first flood. My first Ibogaine flood was absolutely beautiful. I was shown many memories of my childhood (specifically ages 6 to around 13 or 14 which was before I decided to pick up drinking and drugs). I was shown visions of multiple possible futures depending on which path that I decided to take. I can't even put into words how amazing it was. I was still somewhat of a novice with psychedelics at the time, at least in my opinion (mostly just LSD/mushrooms and idk if you count shooting up MDMA/methylone but also lot of that). After the initial fear of being sucked out of this realm and through a red tunnel to another world, I felt completely at peace for the first time in my life. Ibogaine puts you into R.E.M while being awake and it is quite difficult to accurately describe. It's kind of like the movie, "Inception" but with the presence of a spirit with you and you can't really control things, just react to them.
Anyway, I relapsed several months after my first flood because I went to my home area for the first time in years and still had a good chunk of friends alive that I could get into trouble with, at the time. This was in late 2016. I started shooting dope (H) again but I managed to put it back down for a while. I became somewhat obnoxious about Ibogaine and constantly made memes about bashing AA and conventional rehabs because I'd felt that I had been robbed all these years and the answer was always right there. I had developed quite a following through my junkie memes on Facebook at the time.
I did another flood about 9 months later and it was at a different place that didn't really prepare me as well. I was very lucky the first time to find someone who put a lot of effort into the pre treatment of Ibogaine which is massively understated IMO. The difference was night and day and I saw a lot of dark stuff, including me slaughtering thousands of people, although in retrospect they may have been representing my demons. It lasted twice as long (visions for about 10 to 12 hours, retrospect thinking stage was like another 16 to 20 hours). I had one particular vision that still sticks with me where these entities that were beams of light were trying to communicate telepathically with me. I had a lot of difficulty afterwards with sleeping and just overall feeling anything. This is where the pre treatment stuff comes in and makes a world of difference. My provider for the first and last flood is somewhat of an innovator in this regard. I started smoking weed right when I got back because I decided to work at this big music festival which was probably a mistake. I also did 2 seperate 3 night ayahuasca sessions as well this time and I smoked 5-MEO-DMT twice while I was there. Everything was after the Ibogaine. That combination of medicines, in no particular order, has become quite common down in Mexico with all of the Ibo places but I'm not sure if people should be doing all of that stuff while their body is still metabolizing massive amounts of noribogaine. I managed to stay off the hard stuff for close to 4 years with occasional slip ups with Kpins because I seem to attract any woman that is prescribed benzos lol. I had a pretty messy break up with my GF who was with me since a couple months after my first flood. The benzos did not help, of course. I used to think that finding women with benzo scripts was like a sixth sense but now I think it might just be a demon toying with me. Also, Ibogaine does not particularly help with benzos but I would highly recommend Ayahuasca if that is one of your issues as well.
In between floods 2 and 3, I also microdosed twice with HCL and TA. I relapsed again this past summer after suffering a concussion at work and really started spiraling downward with massive amounts of benzos and the bullshit fentanyl that has now replaced dope in the U.S. I am not really a fan of stabbing myself every 30 minutes, (or else I'd just shoot coke) so I just started on Suboxone again. I HATE fentanyl. I cannot understate it. It's killed most of my friends and it barely lasts long enough to smoke a cig and figure out what to do for the day before I have to do another shot.
Anyway, this last flood was done with the same guy as my first one. He switched up his protocol this time and I actually did a "half flood" first which was absolutely brutal. He also had me smoke 5-MEO-DMT which is where I had my ego death and he had me do Kambo on my first day. Both of those were done about 5 to 7 days before my flood. I was introduced to Kambo the previous year when I did another seperate 3 day Ayahuasca ceremony. Kambo is a good thing to do prior to Ibogaine to clean out your body and I actually volunteered to do it twice this time because of the suboxone and benzos lingering in my system. Papa Iboga was basically ripping the suboxone out of me during the half flood which I do appreciate, but the thing about Ibogaine is that it takes you from this realm into another one. Once I reach that other world, I am physically at peace at least. The transition, however, is very rough. I get the worst anxiety ever as my body can feel that my consciousness is exiting and I've already died twice from fentanyl and been Narcan'd back so I guess the feeling is somewhat familiar but that's another topic. The transition is not quite as smooth as 5-MEO-DMT is for me, although my 4th and last time with that I was also screaming that I was dying so there's that lol. Little ego death which I had on my 2nd flood as well but much more intense on the flood. During that flood, I basically accepted that I was dead and was reborn as a fish swimming through the stream of life. I felt myself connected to all living beings, past, present and future. It's hard to remember the rest because that flood was so long and at that point, I had entered a state where my entite existence was erased and I was watching life itself begin to blossom on Earth many different times through many different cycles and then also on other planets through different organisms and plants and things that I couldn't understand.
My last flood was very strange. I got the feeling that Papa Iboga had basically told me that he was done with me. He even left me alone in the astral realm for what felt like centuries and in a place that I can only describe as "purgatory". The fact that this spirit is there to guide you relieves a lot of anxiety for me but I really felt like he was just tired of my shit. The provider, who I have become very close with over the years, has tried to ensure me that these spirits do not think the way that we do and they don't hold grudges or give up on people but idk. Papa Iboga is known as that stern father figure but even my provider told me that he'd never heard of him just leaving someone alone like that.
Luckily, I'm back to tell the tale but after reading what some of you on here said about MGS and a few others, I'm worried. I just relapsed again recently on subs and benzos (fuck fent) but I've been able to not catch a habit so far. What I have NOT been able to do is sleep. I mean, at all! I've been up for days at this point and I feel like I haven't done nearly enough benzos yet for this to happen. I've even been off them for a couple weeks by now. Also, I have had full blown visions as if I was on Ibogaine the last couple of nights. Eyes rolling back into the head and 3rd eye activation. I thought that the Father was calling me back but now I'm not sure. I plan on microdosing with root bark soon but I am nervous about the spirit. Mother Ayahuasca has also taken me to some very dark places (including being possessed by a demon named "the Jester" and the Shaman had to perform an exorcism on me where I seized out violently and the Shaman was then put into a dark place and had to go somewhere alone to center himself again) but my last experience with the Mother was actually very beautiful. I've found that plant medicine in general can be very unpredictable, at least for me. I wouldn't recommend doing them without someone who is very experienced watching over you and I would never do Ayahuasca without a Shaman and the whole ceremony. You can open yourself up to different entities including angels and demons and they are very real. It felt as if they were battling during Ayahuasca. Their energy is very strong.
If you have read this far, then I appreciate it. I am new to this forum obviously, but I feel like I fit right in. I'm also willing to discuss Iboga/Ibogaine and give some insight if people want, however just note that I am still somewhat shook from the spirits at the moment. I have done quite a lot to piss them off, including making money off referring people to my buddy in Mexico which really seemed to irritate Papa. I also think he was mad at me for smoking weed on top of microdosing which was an experience in itself. Sometimes it would send me right into some full blown visions and sometimes I would just get really high. Either way, I needed very little weed. Usually just one hit. I apologize for my scrambled writing but I have just taken a piece of suboxone after 5 nights with 0 sleep at all and it's the first thing that I've taken in a while so I'm sure I'm all over the place with this.
Again, my last flood was done about 3 months ago. I have done 3 full floods, one half flood and microdosed twice which were both over the course of a couple months and I took several breaks as Ibogaine builds up in your system and noribogaine metabolizes very slowly and can stick around for months afterwards. I've noticed that the "afterglow" usually wears off for me at about 2 months depending on my diet and several other factors. I also relapsed on cigarettes recently and Ibogaine helps me immensely with that as well. I very much look forward to talking to you guys.
First off, I want to say R.I.P to MorningGlorySeed. This thread is very related to his and a few other people's passing that I just recently saw on here when @Xorkoth posted about it. Like many of you, I practically grew up reading MGS reports on Erowid and I'm sad that yet another great mind was lost. This issue has literally made me make an account on here because since my second Ibogaine flood (have now done 3), I have been worried that I severely pissed off the spirit of Papa Iboga and that he may even want to kill me which he assured me that he has the power to do.
I was in over 60 detoxes and well over 30 rehabs for my addiction (mostly heroin but also big time with benzos). I have not been back to one since my first flood. My first Ibogaine flood was absolutely beautiful. I was shown many memories of my childhood (specifically ages 6 to around 13 or 14 which was before I decided to pick up drinking and drugs). I was shown visions of multiple possible futures depending on which path that I decided to take. I can't even put into words how amazing it was. I was still somewhat of a novice with psychedelics at the time, at least in my opinion (mostly just LSD/mushrooms and idk if you count shooting up MDMA/methylone but also lot of that). After the initial fear of being sucked out of this realm and through a red tunnel to another world, I felt completely at peace for the first time in my life. Ibogaine puts you into R.E.M while being awake and it is quite difficult to accurately describe. It's kind of like the movie, "Inception" but with the presence of a spirit with you and you can't really control things, just react to them.
Anyway, I relapsed several months after my first flood because I went to my home area for the first time in years and still had a good chunk of friends alive that I could get into trouble with, at the time. This was in late 2016. I started shooting dope (H) again but I managed to put it back down for a while. I became somewhat obnoxious about Ibogaine and constantly made memes about bashing AA and conventional rehabs because I'd felt that I had been robbed all these years and the answer was always right there. I had developed quite a following through my junkie memes on Facebook at the time.
I did another flood about 9 months later and it was at a different place that didn't really prepare me as well. I was very lucky the first time to find someone who put a lot of effort into the pre treatment of Ibogaine which is massively understated IMO. The difference was night and day and I saw a lot of dark stuff, including me slaughtering thousands of people, although in retrospect they may have been representing my demons. It lasted twice as long (visions for about 10 to 12 hours, retrospect thinking stage was like another 16 to 20 hours). I had one particular vision that still sticks with me where these entities that were beams of light were trying to communicate telepathically with me. I had a lot of difficulty afterwards with sleeping and just overall feeling anything. This is where the pre treatment stuff comes in and makes a world of difference. My provider for the first and last flood is somewhat of an innovator in this regard. I started smoking weed right when I got back because I decided to work at this big music festival which was probably a mistake. I also did 2 seperate 3 night ayahuasca sessions as well this time and I smoked 5-MEO-DMT twice while I was there. Everything was after the Ibogaine. That combination of medicines, in no particular order, has become quite common down in Mexico with all of the Ibo places but I'm not sure if people should be doing all of that stuff while their body is still metabolizing massive amounts of noribogaine. I managed to stay off the hard stuff for close to 4 years with occasional slip ups with Kpins because I seem to attract any woman that is prescribed benzos lol. I had a pretty messy break up with my GF who was with me since a couple months after my first flood. The benzos did not help, of course. I used to think that finding women with benzo scripts was like a sixth sense but now I think it might just be a demon toying with me. Also, Ibogaine does not particularly help with benzos but I would highly recommend Ayahuasca if that is one of your issues as well.
In between floods 2 and 3, I also microdosed twice with HCL and TA. I relapsed again this past summer after suffering a concussion at work and really started spiraling downward with massive amounts of benzos and the bullshit fentanyl that has now replaced dope in the U.S. I am not really a fan of stabbing myself every 30 minutes, (or else I'd just shoot coke) so I just started on Suboxone again. I HATE fentanyl. I cannot understate it. It's killed most of my friends and it barely lasts long enough to smoke a cig and figure out what to do for the day before I have to do another shot.
Anyway, this last flood was done with the same guy as my first one. He switched up his protocol this time and I actually did a "half flood" first which was absolutely brutal. He also had me smoke 5-MEO-DMT which is where I had my ego death and he had me do Kambo on my first day. Both of those were done about 5 to 7 days before my flood. I was introduced to Kambo the previous year when I did another seperate 3 day Ayahuasca ceremony. Kambo is a good thing to do prior to Ibogaine to clean out your body and I actually volunteered to do it twice this time because of the suboxone and benzos lingering in my system. Papa Iboga was basically ripping the suboxone out of me during the half flood which I do appreciate, but the thing about Ibogaine is that it takes you from this realm into another one. Once I reach that other world, I am physically at peace at least. The transition, however, is very rough. I get the worst anxiety ever as my body can feel that my consciousness is exiting and I've already died twice from fentanyl and been Narcan'd back so I guess the feeling is somewhat familiar but that's another topic. The transition is not quite as smooth as 5-MEO-DMT is for me, although my 4th and last time with that I was also screaming that I was dying so there's that lol. Little ego death which I had on my 2nd flood as well but much more intense on the flood. During that flood, I basically accepted that I was dead and was reborn as a fish swimming through the stream of life. I felt myself connected to all living beings, past, present and future. It's hard to remember the rest because that flood was so long and at that point, I had entered a state where my entite existence was erased and I was watching life itself begin to blossom on Earth many different times through many different cycles and then also on other planets through different organisms and plants and things that I couldn't understand.
My last flood was very strange. I got the feeling that Papa Iboga had basically told me that he was done with me. He even left me alone in the astral realm for what felt like centuries and in a place that I can only describe as "purgatory". The fact that this spirit is there to guide you relieves a lot of anxiety for me but I really felt like he was just tired of my shit. The provider, who I have become very close with over the years, has tried to ensure me that these spirits do not think the way that we do and they don't hold grudges or give up on people but idk. Papa Iboga is known as that stern father figure but even my provider told me that he'd never heard of him just leaving someone alone like that.
Luckily, I'm back to tell the tale but after reading what some of you on here said about MGS and a few others, I'm worried. I just relapsed again recently on subs and benzos (fuck fent) but I've been able to not catch a habit so far. What I have NOT been able to do is sleep. I mean, at all! I've been up for days at this point and I feel like I haven't done nearly enough benzos yet for this to happen. I've even been off them for a couple weeks by now. Also, I have had full blown visions as if I was on Ibogaine the last couple of nights. Eyes rolling back into the head and 3rd eye activation. I thought that the Father was calling me back but now I'm not sure. I plan on microdosing with root bark soon but I am nervous about the spirit. Mother Ayahuasca has also taken me to some very dark places (including being possessed by a demon named "the Jester" and the Shaman had to perform an exorcism on me where I seized out violently and the Shaman was then put into a dark place and had to go somewhere alone to center himself again) but my last experience with the Mother was actually very beautiful. I've found that plant medicine in general can be very unpredictable, at least for me. I wouldn't recommend doing them without someone who is very experienced watching over you and I would never do Ayahuasca without a Shaman and the whole ceremony. You can open yourself up to different entities including angels and demons and they are very real. It felt as if they were battling during Ayahuasca. Their energy is very strong.
If you have read this far, then I appreciate it. I am new to this forum obviously, but I feel like I fit right in. I'm also willing to discuss Iboga/Ibogaine and give some insight if people want, however just note that I am still somewhat shook from the spirits at the moment. I have done quite a lot to piss them off, including making money off referring people to my buddy in Mexico which really seemed to irritate Papa. I also think he was mad at me for smoking weed on top of microdosing which was an experience in itself. Sometimes it would send me right into some full blown visions and sometimes I would just get really high. Either way, I needed very little weed. Usually just one hit. I apologize for my scrambled writing but I have just taken a piece of suboxone after 5 nights with 0 sleep at all and it's the first thing that I've taken in a while so I'm sure I'm all over the place with this.
Again, my last flood was done about 3 months ago. I have done 3 full floods, one half flood and microdosed twice which were both over the course of a couple months and I took several breaks as Ibogaine builds up in your system and noribogaine metabolizes very slowly and can stick around for months afterwards. I've noticed that the "afterglow" usually wears off for me at about 2 months depending on my diet and several other factors. I also relapsed on cigarettes recently and Ibogaine helps me immensely with that as well. I very much look forward to talking to you guys.
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for MD,but yeah Iboga stands high among master teacher plants.