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What Was YOUR Morning Fix? v. Special K and Weedies

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sleep is always good. too much bad. to little bad. i try to keep my sleep patterns in check as if they get thrown off now I will be fucked for a minute.
take an executive power nap Dr orders.
Over
 
So we use the word fix here. There is some room for interpretation.

But ultimately fix has a lol, fixed definition. To mend, correct, make better.
I am actually a genius you know, because this is my personal daily fix. In literal and non-figurative terms.

And would drive any person mad as a 24/7/365 grind.

For 24 hours at least now depending how disciplined and self denying I am, I need not repeat the routine which enables comparatively heavenly respiration until food is taken again. This was cup two, fully evacuated from all airways, and is the catch 22 reason for my nuttyness. I am now free to get stoned. I need drugs every day to wash away effective PTSD from allergies like this below, which I am a true expert at managing.





Peppermint and rosemary essential oils for the task.
 
I'll sleep when I'm dead lol. I rejected that notion growing up, but it's so right. I'm conscious when I sleep. It doesn't switch off.
 
16mg Suboxone
40mg Vyvanse
5mg Aripiprazole
50mg Hydroxyzine
600mg Alpha-gpc
500mg Piracetam
500mg Aniracetam
250mg F-phenibut

Going to chill for a few hours, guess I'll try and work on some more notes for my comms midterm... Then got the oft dreadful Friday shift at the pizza shop later this evening.
 
1mg benz
2g kratom
coffee
weed
cigs
oatmeal with scrambled chez eggs
400mg calcium citrite
220mg naproxen sodium
still feel that 200mg thc shot I knocked back last night. Very relaxed for sure bodily. Just crawled in bed and passed out. Not sure how I slept but slept.
 
Wish i had a thc shot
Yeah they 125mg per shot with a dropper i guess normal is 30mgml? shit i almost killed two bottles (hash oil basically). Actually might be the first time I every felt and notable effect of my eating weed product experiments... including Rx-ed thc capsules which was the same (hash oil).
Johnny onda spot to get some cause I do not trust a runner they might run off with it.
 
16mg Suboxone
40mg Vyvanse
5mg Aripiprazole
50mg Hydroxyzine
600mg Alpha-gpc
500mg Piracetam
500mg Aniracetam
250mg F-phenibut

Going to chill for a few hours, guess I'll try and work on some more notes for my comms midterm... Then got the oft dreadful Friday shift at the pizza shop later this evening.
I know what you mean about working in those joints on Friday or Saturdays very busy human nature would really rear its ugly head and the kitchen would be too hot to handle for anybody not on a massive amount of steroids perfectly suited to getting insanely irritable with everybody around them lol.

It would be very acutely stressful and environment at times where are you we are so sucked into this servant to the master of the fast food chain and the pressure from the managers that you felt sided extremely belittled and out of control with no sense of self-worth at all.

And all the while you feel like you're being critiqued rush rush rush still never fast enough.

The only people who were fast enough were there for years and years and it was a real bugbear and burden to them.

I was always an excellent worker in all my jobs but I didn't like being a It was vital for me to always find as much space and freedom as I could while working very well and hard but it can't be all work and no play.

Of all the jobs though those frantic non stop tome dilated Weekend Pizza Hut rush hours made it impossible to be anything but a servant until the storm passes and the boat settles.

It can be a very caged environment to work in, and IME the restaurants manager would usually be cold, dumb and driven by "success" to the point of almost bullying the workers.

I only worked in those kitchens for about 9 months twice, two differently chains.

McDonald's however, yes the kitchen had an inevitable franticness, but was consumately easier to catch a breath, catch up, feel free and unpressured, the vibe among workers and managers was way better. The bosses acted like fellow employees. Very young too. Like 22 prob, I was 18.

Not easy jobs to turn up to a busy shift, like coming on in a big football match, arriving freshly and exceedingly stoned which I did all jobs to pass the shift lol, topping up wherever.

Eventually I got myself a real cushy number at McDonald's on "lobby" bloody easy.

Just clean up the tables, sweep floor incl toilets, no cleaning toilets even.

I used to take big bits of space cake with me for linch break, and I took my own packed lunch most days occasionally accepted the free meal entitlement per shift.

But Lobby in McDonald's was like Trolleys & baskets in a supermarket.

You are set free. Your own boss. Just keep things tidy enough, act preoccupied and a little blank. I was left alone in my own mad world lol just had to meet the illusion of being a simple worker.
 
I know what you mean about working in those joints on Friday or Saturdays very busy human nature would really rear its ugly head and the kitchen would be too hot to handle for anybody not on a massive amount of steroids perfectly suited to getting insanely irritable with everybody around them lol.

It would be very acutely stressful and environment at times where are you we are so sucked into this servant to the master of the fast food chain and the pressure from the managers that you felt sided extremely belittled and out of control with no sense of self-worth at all.

And all the while you feel like you're being critiqued rush rush rush still never fast enough.

The only people who were fast enough were there for years and years and it was a real bugbear and burden to them.

I was always an excellent worker in all my jobs but I didn't like being a It was vital for me to always find as much space and freedom as I could while working very well and hard but it can't be all work and no play.

Of all the jobs though those frantic non stop tome dilated Weekend Pizza Hut rush hours made it impossible to be anything but a servant until the storm passes and the boat settles.

It can be a very caged environment to work in, and IME the restaurants manager would usually be cold, dumb and driven by "success" to the point of almost bullying the workers.

I only worked in those kitchens for about 9 months twice, two differently chains.

McDonald's however, yes the kitchen had an inevitable franticness, but was consumately easier to catch a breath, catch up, feel free and unpressured, the vibe among workers and managers was way better. The bosses acted like fellow employees. Very young too. Like 22 prob, I was 18.

Not easy jobs to turn up to a busy shift, like coming on in a big football match, arriving freshly and exceedingly stoned which I did all jobs to pass the shift lol, topping up wherever.

Eventually I got myself a real cushy number at McDonald's on "lobby" bloody easy.

Just clean up the tables, sweep floor incl toilets, no cleaning toilets even.

I used to take big bits of space cake with me for linch break, and I took my own packed lunch most days occasionally accepted the free meal entitlement per shift.

But Lobby in McDonald's was like Trolleys & baskets in a supermarket.

You are set free. Your own boss. Just keep things tidy enough, act preoccupied and a little blank. I was left alone in my own mad world lol just had to meet the illusion of being a simple worker.
The rush part is insane. It's a struggle, every single weekend. I'm used to it as I've worked in environments like this for years and years, including as a manager, but I'd be lying if I said there aren't some incredibly frustrating and difficult days. Plus the customers in this area are pieces of shit, full stop. Been freaked out at more in the past two months I've been here than in several years past.
 
The rush part is insane. It's a struggle, every single weekend. I'm used to it as I've worked in environments like this for years and years, including as a manager, but I'd be lying if I said there aren't some incredibly frustrating and difficult days. Plus the customers in this area are pieces of shit, full stop. Been freaked out at more in the past two months I've been here than in several years past.
I can genuinely relate to that and I'm just thinking now how I've always said that certain types of stress can actually be very good for you like school work and projects would feel like mental torture throughout but the second hand of the project or work in or completed the exam it was like a heavenly reward of freedom and sense of achievement.

I observed the positive benefits to being placed by yourself though in that situation under stress to get the absolute most out of yourself.

However the frantic high level of stress imposed upon you externally regardless of your mental and emotional and physical condition at the time and really shoved down your throat according to the demands of the public who pay and the manager who is deadly focused upon branch statistics, can actually be too much of a (bad thing lol) in the end.

Still the way I look at life you have ended up there and you generally moving on if we can't say forwards and it has been a stepping stone as well as a learning experience showing you also what you are capable of adapting to and there's no way you'll be pizza man until the end of your days I'm sure there will be other opportunities that will open to you when the time is right.

So for the meantime, assume it's not forever, and it's not been a waste or loss at all, just a shift at a time.

That is how I managed the environment myself but it will still too much for me being pushed and pulled around by narcissists eventually.

Being a dustman, 6 am dawn clock in, sunny all day, finishing work at 10.30- 1 pm every day if you are quick like we were oh boy, got incredibly fit too.

Sprinting all day on tap, dragging 4 full bins at a time 2 handles each hand grip, handles facing each other, then lower hand height to slant bins away from each other and run.

Lifting heav stuff, full on exercise.

Lactic Acid overload the first week.

Few months, superhuman fitness and stamina.

Plus, drugs all day! Most dustcart crew drivers were real chill, either smoked weed of let us.

Sandwhiches whenever, shops everywhere for snacks. They were the good days.

Work til finished the round paid all day home by lunchtime but not easy getting up 5 am every day mega stoned.

In those waking moments bed was the most comfortable time dilated heaven innthe world better than anything and the only thing you wanted or looked forward to returning to.

But always forgotten once up. Those were the good days.
 
16mg Suboxone
40mg Vyvanse
5mg Aripiprazole
50mg Hydroxyzine
600mg Alpha-gpc
500mg Piracetam
500mg Aniracetam
10mg N-Methyl-Cyclazodone

Working up my final notes for my mid term! Gaaahhhh two more days till I gotta do it.
 
16mg Suboxone
40mg Vyvanse
5mg Aripiprazole
50mg Hydroxyzine
600mg Alpha-gpc
1g Piracetam
1g Aniracetam
15mg N-Methyl-Cyclazodone
500mg F-Phenibut

Just chillin. Wanna practice my speech a little bit, then got work later. Gonna start my apartment search soon.
 
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