Coping with being alone

[darvocet21]

gee, THANKS...
Like THAT'S helpful.
Youre telling someone the destination, not how to get there.

I can't believe that I wrote that. But hey you found it from July. Ah ok that was not in response to you at all but the person who posted right before

I don't like people or crowds.

Just having someone who would want to pay attention to me for me would be an anchor

Obviously they weren't being very serious and that's why I wasn't being very serious. I hope you see that now

 

[telepathetic]

I like the random acts of kindness idea. it always makes me feel better when i make a stranger smile.

Maybe you could try volunteering to feed the homeless, that can be a good way to meet people, though I need to take the initiative to take my own advice.

Yeah that feels like a year went by not 4 months.

 

[darvocet21]

Re-reading this thread I'm struck by two things. The first is that there is a ton of support and love for you here, expressed by many people who shared their own experiences and showed real curiosity and interest in yours.

The second is that you disappeared. Which is your prerogative.

It can't be a coincidence that you would resurface today. If anyone can comfort this woman who posted today that her fiance died of a fentanyl overdose and opened up and shared something terribly tragic which she feels tremendous guilt in addition to grieving, while at the same time expressing a desire that she not be judged and perhaps only understood... Well that person is you. What a way what a gift. To do something selfless for someone you don't know and yet you do know. Because you both went through one of the worst things possible but had the courage or desperation to find others who could identify and maybe even empathize.
Sounds like you've been hard on yourself. Here's a way to stop that and give yourself a break from your inner critic , and all it requires is doing what you did four months ago only this time you get to give her whatever it was that you felt like you didn't receive at the time.

She might take direct messages if you don't feel like posting. Here's the link to her story

Death of fiancee

*please don't judge* On August 31st at 11:30 my fiancee the love ol my life overdosed on fentanyl in our hotel room and tragically passed away... Him and I had been together for 5 years and loved eachother so much. It's kind of crazy but on my astrology birthday chart his birthday is listed...

www.bluelight.org

 

[tweakerguy]

I take the time to pamper & shower myself with the things that I enjoy doing.

When i was growing up, actually probably from the moment i took my first breath of air, I made it my mission to do, or at least TRY to do that stuff every single day for the rest of my life. Know what it got me? A shower of drugs and a lifetime of impatience and non stop pleasure-seeking. It's like circle of life but more like the circle down the drain in my case. I was never able to do that "fake it till you make it" stuff. I need the real mccoy.

I give myself gifts & everyday I walk out the door I make sure I look my best. Hell, one day I wore pink satin ballroom gloves to go grocery shopping. It elevated my mood to the point of overflowing joy & utter bliss.

Ok, quit being a holdout, I want on. Whaddaya charge for a zip- ....actually just PM me.

 

[darvocet21]

When i was growing up, actually probably from the moment i took my first breath of air, I made it my mission to do, or at least TRY to do that stuff every single day for the rest of my life. Know what it got me? A shower of drugs and a lifetime of impatience and non stop pleasure-seeking. It's like circle of life but more like the circle down the drain in my case. I was never able to do that "fake it till you make it" stuff. I need the real mccoy.



Ok, quit being a holdout, I want on. Whaddaya charge for a zip- ....actually just PM me.

You've been holding back on that just waiting. Like a man with a gun and only one bullet left you were going to use that thing only when you were good and ready. You were damn sure not going to waste it. Sicko

I feel like I'm back in the psych ward. I need to go see if I can walk out my front door or not. Whether it's locked from the inside or the outside