All you ever wanted to know but never dared to ask.... about intersex.

[TheUltimateFixx]

Decided to post this after reading a thread on chemsex adventures where someone apparently got with an intersex person. One or two of you that read my replies might have noticed I came across as both suspiciously well - informed as well as suspiciously sympathetic. XD

... So anyways why not. Cards on fucking table. Genuine intersex male here.

I bloody KNOW people wonder, because I'm inundated with extremely unnecessarily PERSONAL questions anytime anyone finds out or I tell ; and annoyingly mostly people sexually fetishize us, and are weirdly obsessed with the nature of our genitals.

So right off the bat just to make things crystal clear, NO we don't have a double set of functioning male and female genitals, that only happens in fantasy porn but NOT in nature.
And no, with most of us you CANNOT tell that we're intersexed by looking at our private bits.

So for anyone here who's genuinely curious to know, you can ask me anything about what this condition means, how it physically manifests, how it affects relationships etc.

However if anyone is thinking of asking me fucked - up fetishistic or personally intrusive questions, I will NOT be answering those ; people like me get more than enough of that already IRL, so if you are reading this post and even REMOTELY considering posing such questions then please just fuck right off.
Thank you.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

Good thing I call both sexes dude then

I'd like to know maybe how it effected you when you were younger? Out of fear, people (and especially teens or younger kids) tend mock rather than try to understand.
I know I spend a lot of time feeling weird and different and insecure about all kinds of shit when I was younger, which effected how I approached relationships for example. And I imagine this didn't make it easier to find yourself, but I'm just guessing.

So the question mainly being, how did it effect you in how you approached people you were interested in?

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

Like, how long would you wait to tell anyone you were interested in? Did your friends know when you were younger?

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

I know I spend a lot of time feeling weird and different and insecure

HAHA I already felt THAT because of my autism. Humour aside school changing rooms were pure hell. I was routinely mocked, laughed at, assaulted and spat on.

So the question mainly being, how did it effect you in how you approached people you were interested in?

I never approached anyone at all.
There was no point.

I knew other people would see me as a freak of nature and I also saw MYSELF like that. Physical intimacy was a constant need for me but also totally out of the question. Emotional closeness the same, but equally out of the question.

Everyone else around me could just casually fuck whenever they felt the need, and be free to pursue actual relationships anytime they felt they wanted something more. None of that was feasible for me in the same unthinking way.

From what I could see, either someone would want me only BECAUSE of what I was - some exotic prize ; or else merely DESPITE of what I was, and condescendingly throw me some pity sex, requiring me to be grovellingly grateful on account of 'who else would touch you' . No thanks. Anyone wanting me FOR who I was? Dream on.

AND YES I WAS JEALOUS AS ALL FUCK.
Of all you uncomplicatedly anatomically normal people that only have to deal with NORMAL hang - ups.
... Sorry guys I meant to do this in an entirely neutral info - exchange way, but I have a lot of bitterness in this regard.

 

[LandsUnknown]

And no, with most of us you CANNOT tell that we're intersexed by looking at our private bits.

I thought that genitals were what determined one's physiological sex? Or are you saying that most intersex conditions are related to hormonal differences?

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

I thought that genitals were what determined one's physiological sex? Or are you saying that most intersex conditions are related to hormonal differences?

That's the most common misconception. EVERYONE thinks it means you have to have ambiguous genitals. That's true in some cases but by no means all. For instance AIS women (male chromosomes, male internal organs, but female outer genitals) commonly only get diagnosed at puberty when the expected period fails to happen and they're sent to a gynaecologist for evaluation.
Neither genitals NOR hormones NOR chromosomes are entirely decisive or exclusive. And all of these are 'physiological'.
This is what INTERsex means.

Literally 'between' the sexes.
Intersex is an umbrella term for a whole host of different conditions.
The one thing in common is a mix - up of male and female elements in your make - up; and these can occur at the physical, hormonal or chromosomal level.

For instance someone may have outwardly male - appearing genitals while being otherwise female (XX chromosomes with normal female internal anatomy). This is CAH. Most people with this will identify as female but tend to be tomboyish.

Someone may have outwardly female - appearing genitals plus breast development at puberty while being otherwise male (XY chromosomes with normal male internal anatomy including internal testicles). This is AIS (Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome).
Meaning the body cannot utilise its own testosterone properly and this comes in varying degrees. Pretty much ALL subjects not only look but also feel female.

There are also XX males. The extra bit on their chromosome means smaller genitals and infertility but otherwise male-appearing; these never identify as anything but male.

There's other even rarer variations, like genetic 'mosaics' where literally different cells in your body carry different chromosomes, (like some XX and others XY), or every single cell in your body carries a double set of XX/XY.
Plus other variations on that.

.. Basically ANY mismatch between chromosomes and phenotype (physical appearance) and / or hormones is classed as intersex.

 

[PtahTek]

I had to look it up... was just gonna as wth it is here but didn't want to over burden anyone.
Now that I have a very little "knowledge" of it I may be back with questions.., cool?
1

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

I had to look it up... was just gonna as wth it is here but didn't want to over burden anyone.
Now that I have a very little "knowledge" of it I may be back with questions.., cool?
1

Sure, cool. That's why I posted this man.
I wanna answer some common questions and help educate people about this.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Like, how long would you wait to tell anyone you were interested in? Did your friends know when you were younger?

I would tell if it's clear we have an interest in each other ; not otherwise.

PS yes I've had some surgical alterations otherwise I could not live a normal life.
Again I am willing to answer any question on this very personal matter. so long as it's asked in a genuine spirit of enquiry.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Do you identify as one sex, the other, both sexes, or does it change? What is your sexual orientation? Where is the PNP chemsex adventures thread?

What sort of surgery was it? Was it done to you as an infant or child, or as an adult by choice? Do you take hormones or medications?

I know a woman who was born without ovaries. She has genitals though, would she be intersex? I learned this as I was asking her if having a period for women is scary, annoying, or if it is something most are used to and just deal with it. She said how she never had a period as she was born without ovaries but has a uterus, vagina, clit, labia, etc. she learned about her body since her mother became concerned that she was 12, 13, or 14 but had never had a period at all.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Do you identify as one sex, the other, both sexes, or does it change? What is your sexual orientation?

I feel 100% male. I just regard myself as having an unfortunate birth defect.
My orientation is bi, leaning slightly more towards other males. I have wondered at times whether this is directly linked to my condition or whether it would have been the same either way.

What sort of surgery was it? Was it done to you as an infant or child, or as an adult by choice? Do you take hormones or medications?

I have the mildest degree of PAIS (Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome).
I was born with what's basically a small penis (about the size of an average 10 year old boy's), a bifid (split) scrotum - picture each plum in its own little sack xd; and a partially - formed extra hole where there shouldn't have been one.
Too constricted to do anything with and frankly I never bloody wanted to do anything with it either. At age 18 at the earliest opportunity I had elective surgery to excise any internal tissue, have the vestigial opening closed up, and my scrotum joined up so now it's like one single sack. I look normal down below now except I'm decidedly on the less - endowed side. I also developed some degree of gynaecomastia at puberty so had to have breast reduction.
I did take a course of testosterone just to see if it could make any difference but since what I have is basically defined by the limits to which my body can efficiently take up testosterone, nope you could pump me up to the eyeballs with it and it still won't make my body look more typically masculine.

Thankfully nobody cut me about as an infant. My mother was a surgeon and had some professional ethics.

I know a woman who was born without ovaries.

No this is not an intersex condition. Remember intersex means there has to be a COMBINATION of typically male and typically female elements. Lacking ovaries is just a congenital absence of ovaries in an otherwise normal female body. There also are women born without a uterus, or without a vagina (literally just have a hole for the urethra), and men born with testicles but no penis. None of these are in any way intersexed; they're just men and women unfortunately missing crucial bits of their anatomy.

 

[w01fg4ng]

Do you like any musicians who are trans or intersex that you listen to?

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Do you like any musicians who are trans or intersex that you listen to?

I have to say I'm not personally aware of any. My musical tastes are very eclectic but among my favourite bands or singers there's none; at least none that are open about it. And most people aren't. You can't tell by looking with the majority and nobody likes to be looked at like some exotic zoo specimen ; which happens all too often.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

I must admit I've never heard this term before. When I read the title I assumed it meant 'Internet sex'.

Can you explain it simply enough for an aging white heterosexual male to understand please?

 

[Jabberwocky]

I think it's cool you're open to talking about it.

I actually saw someone do an AMA on this on reddit a few years ago and it was extremely informative, so I really don't have too many curiosities.

I guess I would ask, other than genitals are there any other differences body wise or is it specific to the genitals?

 

[w01fg4ng]

I have to say I'm not personally aware of any. My musical tastes are very eclectic but among my favourite bands or singers there's none; at least none that are open about it. And most people aren't. You can't tell by looking with the majority and nobody likes to be looked at like some exotic zoo specimen ; which happens all too often.

They aren't as visible as they should be in my opinion.

This artist is incredible. Raw rock and roll (if you're into that). Absolutely love her.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

I must admit I've never heard this term before. When I read the title I assumed it meant 'Internet sex'.

Can you explain it simply enough for an aging white heterosexual male to understand please?

In a nutshell, 'intersex' is a catch - all term for a variety of conditions, also called DSD (disorders of sex development) in which there is a mix of typically male and typically female elements.

This can be for instance chromosomes not matching outward appearance;having the internal reproductive anatomy of one sex but outer genitalia like the other's; having mixed gonads that contain both types of tissue (known as ovotestes) ; having an XXXY karyotype so each cell carries a double set of chromosomes ; being a genetic mosaic (extremely rare) where some of your cells carry XX and others XY chromosomes ; and YES you can also be born with genitals that are somewhere between male and female.

Unless there are such visibly ambiguous genitals, most intersex people are only diagnosed at puberty (when some expected developments fail to happen), and many live their whole lives not knowing and only a post mortem shows it up. Some intersex people have an intersex identity, that's to say they actually feel like something in between / neither / both, however you want to put it. Most of us have pretty uncomplicated male and female identities.

PS since you mentioned Internet sex , some porn likes to pretend there are people with BOTH fully formed, fully functioning sets of genitals. That doesn't actually exist in nature but seems to be a lot of weirdos' feverish fantasy. Any porn that claims to have 'hermaphrodites' in it, will be trans people in various pre-op stages.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

I guess I would ask, other than genitals are there any other differences body wise or is it specific to the genitals?

I refer you to my above reply to Fubz.
And no, it precisely mostly ISN'T in fact about having oddly-shaped genitals ; but that's what most people think it IS all about.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

other than genitals are there any other differences body wise or is it specific to the genitals?

It's more like, it's for the most part 'other' than genitals.
Which is why I decided to be frank on the subject because it's such a common misconception, and anytime you tell anyone, you know the other person immediately starts speculating about what's between your legs ; and that's actually pretty annoying to be constantly reduced to your bits.
Also the number of total strangers who then feel like it's somehow OK to say things like 'so what have you got?' to your face AND feel entitled to an answer, is absolutely staggering.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

In a nutshell, 'intersex' is a catch - all term for a variety of conditions, also called DSD (disorders of sex development) in which there is a mix of typically male and typically female elements.

This can be for instance chromosomes not matching outward appearance;having the internal reproductive anatomy of one sex but outer genitalia like the other's; having mixed gonads that contain both types of tissue (known as ovotestes) ; having an XXXY karyotype so each cell carries a double set of chromosomes ; being a genetic mosaic (extremely rare) where some of your cells carry XX and others XY chromosomes ; and YES you can also be born with genitals that are somewhere between male and female.

Unless there are such visibly ambiguous genitals, most intersex people are only diagnosed at puberty (when some expected developments fail to happen), and many live their whole lives not knowing and only a post mortem shows it up. Some intersex people have an intersex identity, that's to say they actually feel like something in between / neither / both, however you want to put it. Most of us have pretty uncomplicated male and female identities.

PS since you mentioned Internet sex , some porn likes to pretend there are people with BOTH fully formed, fully functioning sets of genitals. That doesn't actually exist in nature but seems to be a lot of weirdos' feverish fantasy. Any porn that claims to have 'hermaphrodites' in it, will be trans people in various pre-op stages.

Thank you. You have educated me today.

So what is 'Intersex' an abbreviation for? Is it 'interchangeable sexuality' or something similar?