06062016
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2020
- Messages
- 20
I have been a lurker for years and I'm going to skip the introduction and details because it's a fucking long ass story. My history with drugs started at 14 with marijuana and alcohol. I was a high functioning stoner until about 21 when I stopped.
Turning 27 this year, I was an IV meth user regularly for 2 years and kept my addiction a secret (really no one except me). In May 2018, I quit using after being very motivated by the birth of my son.
Until about 30 days ago, my dealer suddenly became available again. My cravings was overwhelming and I gave in. I am posting this as a commitment to recovery. As I want to stop using and receive the appropriate help for my addiction by telling the truth. No more secrets. I shared my history with an addiction specialist 2 days ago and now I'm sharing with bluelighters.
So some things at the top of my mind right now;
- I will be attending my first NA meeting in about 3 hours, feeling extremely nervous.
- After talking to the addiction specialist, he BLEW MY MIND when he suspects that I may have ADD/ADHD. I don't know how I may have overlooked the condition as I was growing up. Anyway, I haven't got a official diagnosis but it's scheduled. After spending a day researching on ADD/ADHD, I believe that I am highly likely to have it. That's properly why I loved meth so much as it was therapeutic.
- So how do I confirm that I had ADD/ADHD all my life when I simultaneously have a "substance abuse disorder"?
Was my drug use due to my ADD/ADHD or is my relatively short history with meth causing ADD/ADHD like symptoms? Well... I can't possibly list everything since I was a child... Please let me know what information to provide for an answer to the question.
TLDR; join me on my recovery as a closet drug addict coming out.
Turning 27 this year, I was an IV meth user regularly for 2 years and kept my addiction a secret (really no one except me). In May 2018, I quit using after being very motivated by the birth of my son.
Until about 30 days ago, my dealer suddenly became available again. My cravings was overwhelming and I gave in. I am posting this as a commitment to recovery. As I want to stop using and receive the appropriate help for my addiction by telling the truth. No more secrets. I shared my history with an addiction specialist 2 days ago and now I'm sharing with bluelighters.
So some things at the top of my mind right now;
- I will be attending my first NA meeting in about 3 hours, feeling extremely nervous.
- After talking to the addiction specialist, he BLEW MY MIND when he suspects that I may have ADD/ADHD. I don't know how I may have overlooked the condition as I was growing up. Anyway, I haven't got a official diagnosis but it's scheduled. After spending a day researching on ADD/ADHD, I believe that I am highly likely to have it. That's properly why I loved meth so much as it was therapeutic.
- So how do I confirm that I had ADD/ADHD all my life when I simultaneously have a "substance abuse disorder"?
Was my drug use due to my ADD/ADHD or is my relatively short history with meth causing ADD/ADHD like symptoms? Well... I can't possibly list everything since I was a child... Please let me know what information to provide for an answer to the question.
TLDR; join me on my recovery as a closet drug addict coming out.