Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2021 ⫷⫷

[SunriseChampion]

I hope everyone is doing well - still going strong with your resolutions??

Have already had to tell 3 mates that drinks were not happening. In the first week. Just shows what sort of degens I co-exist with. :D
They're good people though and took it as a matter of course.

@chinup.....keep it real. Any progress is better than no progress.

 

[bongdong]

What do you mean by this? Are you talking about the phenomenon of "dry drunks" or the equivalents for drug addicts, the people with significant sober/clean time who are still dysfunctional and have to battle daily intense cravings? If that's the case, then I would agree but with a qualification. There is PAWs and I've read that the upper limit for the brain to physiologically recover from that can be up to 2 years. If a person with less than that time is still struggling, it may not necessarily be a sign of some deep psychological issue that needs to be resolved, but could just be the lengthy process of the brain rewiring after years of substance abuse. It's not necessarily the fault of the person since it's their biology, not their psychology. However, after that time, if it's still a "struggle", then I'd say then that you were correct - clearly some kind of underlying issues that need to be resolved.

Didn't know the term 'dry drunks' (looked it up now), but yes that's basically what I meant. Thanks for your important qualification, of course PAWS or prolonged healing processes or even permanent damage are a challenging and sad possibility too. If that's the case, it's surely not an unresolved psychological problem.

That's one of the reasons I always was suspicious of 12-step groups. To see people with years sober, still regularly reliving the time of their life that they were addicted, still obsessing over their identity of "addict", who had little else going on in their lives - it just didn't seem healthy. If you are five years sober but still feel the need to delve deeply into their time as a heroin addict 3x a week & emphasize how easy it would be for them to relapse ("I could pick up tomorrow!") then it doesn't seem that they are "recovered". 12-step groups promise freedom from the obsession, but I've met many "long timers" who live the opposite of that. They seem just as obsessed with their addiction & drug of choice than active users. Doesn't seem like any way to live!

I pretty much share your view on the 12-step program; good thinking. Also the judgmental and religious component is not my cup of tea. But hey, if it actually brings people to not wreck their lifes, I'm good with it.

Did you losing your motivation & energy really precede your lapse? If it did, it sounds like it could have been an episode of depression? Perhaps trigger or at least exacerbated by the lockdown? You wouldn't have been the only one! How did you get through lockdown before you lost your motivation?

Well, this is not totally news to me. As you might guess, there is a little bit of history to it, but if someone would lay these statistical criterions on me now I would probably 'qualify' as depressed even tough I came a long way since my collapse. The thing is, I kind of know (found out) why I feel the way I do, and this whole 'depression as just-a-chemical-imbalance-illness-that-needs-medication-and-than-it's-fixed business' is not exactly my understanding of it. The lockdown was not so much a trigger as it was an excuse to 'stick my head in the sand again', I think. Sure this virus thing is problematic, but it's just an addition to my other stupid worries. Enjoyable is probably not the right word, but the first (sober) lockdown in spring was not that bad; I was outside a lot and seeing nature bloom and recover from human impact was kind of nice and since I have no real realationships, the social distancing thing doesn't effect me much.

If I were you for now I'd suggest writing out a specific plan for when you plan on quitting/reducing/substituting your DOC. I know what it's like when you're using and you have a desire to quit, but you procrastinate making an actual plan, and then it never seems like the right day. It helps to have a day set in stone that you prepare for, else you could justify putting it off forever.

You know what, fuck planing! I'm starting NOW (again). I will make this day 1; that would be a good thing in itself and tomorrow I will make other decisions in the NOW, which seems to be the only place where the magic happens anyway. I have my own twisted theory to this 'making big resolutions' business (not against it, but cautious), which is certainly a key issue in addiction cycles, but that's a story for another day.

@Rio Fantastic Congratulations on day 25! Hang in there (like a hair in a biscuit).

@chinup To me, it looks like you are putting up a good fight. Keep going!

Greetings

 

[Rio Fantastic]

@bongdong My understanding of depression is that there's strictly reactive depression after a traumatic event or the loss of a loved one, pathological depression which has no clear cause and strikes down people formerly entirely satisfied with their lives and would seem to most closely fit something that's purely "biological", and then what is probably the majority of depressive episodes experienced by us addicts where it's a mixture of both. We're unhappy with our life situation, but whereas a psychologically healthy person would work to change their circumstances, we instead react far more intensely to them because of our biological propensity and lack of coping skills & then often make the very circumstances that triggered it worse by drinking/using, which not only makes our life situation worse but also exacerbates the actual biological root of our depression too, leading to a vicious cycle.

I think when the depression is like that then just popping prozac and hoping that it will go away on its own isn't going to do it. We have to force ourselves to adopt the coping skills & healthier lifestyles and seek the change in our circumstances that a healthy person would do naturally, which is much easier said than done! If you don't mind me asking what have you identified as being the cause of your depression? Anything in particular??


Despite wearing a mask etc I have managed to catch a cold. I feel really shitty - sore throat, blocked nose, general malaise - but every time I get sick a silver lining is that I naturally think of withdrawals, and then whatever illness I'm going through seems way more manageable!! I'd literally rather have the flu for a month than go through day 3 of withdrawals. However, it's still unpleasant and I can't wait to be free of it. I love that day when you've had a virus and you get that first day symptom-free, and suddenly you appreciate being healthy in a way you take for granted when you haven't been recently ill. An advantage of being ill from a virus is that I never have any drug cravings when I'm sick (unless it's withdrawal, of course). The lack of energy and motivation just means my brain can't manufacture that excitement and longing like it does so naturally when I'm well, so I'm happy that I at least have a reprieve from that. Hope everyone is doing good

 

[JessFR]

All depression is biological, because all of everything in us is biological. The distinction that is the mind is entirely arbitrary.

That probably sounds like something that's just being pedantic but I think it's an important distinction.

Depression is depression, it has risk factors, including life problems that can trigger it, but it can also seem to happen randomly.

But it is never "rational". It's always the case that depression is making life much harder to cope with, regardless of how seemingly sucky life objectively is.

Too many people don't get help because they think medication or therapy or whatever is for one kind of depression or another. I think that's a mistake. I think the evidence suggests it's a mistake too.

Even if your depression is sparked by objective life problems those same life problems may not have caused depression in someone else. It's still a biological illness of the brain. And is all treated similarly.

While I've had a low level of depression pretty much my whole life, around 2009 to 2011 it suddenly got substantially worse. I have no idea why it happened then. But I experienced severe unending suicidal depression for 2 years before.. Well before I tried to kill myself.

For some reason soon after, I got better and it returned to the low level of depression it had started with.

Again there are things I can point to and go "maybe that had an effect" but ultimately I have only rough guesses why I became so depressed and then got better. But I can absolutely say that at the time it all felt absolutely rational and objective. That's the great lie of depression, it makes you sure that it just an objective reaction to the world rather than an illness and resists all attempts to get help.

Depressions a horrible disease that needs to be better understood, by those with it, those supporting people with it, and society at large.

 

[Jabberwocky]

@JessFR i completely agree that depression is never rational, even when its in response to really shitty stuff going on, so there is a reason for a low mood, entering a mental state where you can't properly function does not help.

i am pretty sure i have a pretty major chemical imbalance in my brain. when i was 4 my step grandmother, who incidentally died of alcoholism so i wonder if she saw herself in me, was 'disturbed by my personality'- i didn't even know 4 year olds had personalities!! at 6 i wanted to kill myself. by 9 i was seeing a community nurse for insomnia. this is not fucking normal. even amongst people who have experienced severe mental illness its not fucking normal.

i still feel like there is something inherently broken about me. or my other favourite is that i was born to suffer, i have this fatalism due to my family history.

unfortunately when you throw any drugs into the mix of an already imbalanced brain it makes things harder to unpick and therefore treat. its why i really feel for the americans who are prescribed like 50 things before breakfast, there is just no way to know how multiple drugs interact.

i woke up before 6am which sucks. but, i am going to make the best of a bad situation and go for a run before work, just waiting for it to get light enough. apparently exercise before breakfast is better for weight loss.

my boyf and i got back to my place last night, he is committed to dry jan and then a significant reduction in his drinking so i feel hopeful. made soup for dinner last night and bought loads of veggies so am going to try and do a week or so of pretty strict dieting to kickstart my proper diet, then transition to something more maintainable in the long term.

 

[Jabberwocky]

@chinup everything u doing to get better sounds pretty badass! chemical imbalances are a bitch, ive suffered from thyroid problems, and when i fixed it with a little pill, i started to act and look more normal, and having more energy, have you tried getting a blood test or something to see what your imbalances are? leaving them unattended will cause you more pain

 

[Jabberwocky]

thank you @strangeaeon! i have had blood tests- i have a slightly underactive thyroid but not enough to warrant treatment. i also have some weird breathing problem so i find it hard to breathe through my nose, which gives me something like sleep apnoea where i stop breathing in the night so wake up. i went for sleep studies, and again, it wasn't bad enough to warrant NHS treatment!

i got this fitness watch for christmas and it tracks sleep and according to that my breathing and therefore deep sleep continuity are shit. so its really confirming what i already know, i have literally never had a good nights sleep.

no wonder i was so tired all the time that i just wanted to knock myself out for 16 years straight.

my new job has private healthcare so i might see if i can see another doctor about the sleep thing cos its fucking annoying.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

All depression is biological, because all of everything in us is biological. The distinction that is the mind is entirely arbitrary.

That probably sounds like something that's just being pedantic but I think it's an important distinction.

Depression is depression, it has risk factors, including life problems that can trigger it, but it can also seem to happen randomly.

But it is never "rational". It's always the case that depression is making life much harder to cope with, regardless of how seemingly sucky life objectively is.

Too many people don't get help because they think medication or therapy or whatever is for one kind of depression or another. I think that's a mistake. I think the evidence suggests it's a mistake too.

Even if your depression is sparked by objective life problems those same life problems may not have caused depression in someone else. It's still a biological illness of the brain. And is all treated similarly.

While I've had a low level of depression pretty much my whole life, around 2009 to 2011 it suddenly got substantially worse. I have no idea why it happened then. But I experienced severe unending suicidal depression for 2 years before.. Well before I tried to kill myself.

For some reason soon after, I got better and it returned to the low level of depression it had started with.

Again there are things I can point to and go "maybe that had an effect" but ultimately I have only rough guesses why I became so depressed and then got better. But I can absolutely say that at the time it all felt absolutely rational and objective. That's the great lie of depression, it makes you sure that it just an objective reaction to the world rather than an illness and resists all attempts to get help.

Depressions a horrible disease that needs to be better understood, by those with it, those supporting people with it, and society at large.

I think we probably agree about everything and our disagreement is semantic. Part of the issue is probably that "depression" in English refers both to an emotional state and a clinical condition. I'd say that the "depression" in response to life events such as grief is rational, but if that grief triggers an episode of clinical depression and becomes pathological then it is of course no longer rational. I was never trying to advocate the position that there were depressions that existed that didn't have a correspondent pathological brain functioning underlying it, I was just stating that some depression is triggered by life circumstances, which is objectively true. For example, if you lose someone close to you, then I don't think Prozac would then be appropriate unless it's three months later and you're still suffering as if it happened yesterday. Under normal circumstances - you lose a loved one, you consequently feel sad, you grieve, come to terms with it, and then return to normal, then I'd say that was "rational", but then I'd agree that we shouldn't call that "depression" at all. It'd be helpful if clinical depression was demarcated entirely from the range of normal human emotions, since like you're implying, it is totally distinct from just "feeling very sad" and always implies a problem. We shouldn't have the same term to describe a mental illness that should always receive treatment & a negative emotion that's within the healthy, normal range of human experiences.

I will add that though I personally am 100% convinced that clinical depression ultimately has a biological cause, it's not at all clear yet what that cause may be. In all likelihood what we refer to as "clinical depression" is actually a number of different abnormalities in brain functioning that we have grouped together that all have distinct causes and hopefully as our understanding advances we will be able to treat them precisely with therapies & medications targeted at restoring the brain to normal functioning, which due to our lack of understanding unfortunately isn't what we're doing now. Many psychiatrists have suggested, for example, that the condition where the patient is agitated, restless with a reduced appetite and insomnia is a distinct condition to the one that causes the patient to overeat, sleep more than usual, and feel "weighed down" with psycho motor retardation. Since both present with a low mood we currently refer to them both as depression - some call the latter "atypical" depression - but it's likely that we're making an error by suggesting that they're both different manifestations of the same condition. This is probably why SSRIs on aggregate don't look much more effective than placebo - it's not because they don't work, it's because that result is an average of patients who respond incredibly to SSRIs (my ex-girlfriend was one of these people) and some people who feel literally no effects from them at all (I fell into this category), mixed in with people who only respond moderately.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

thank you @strangeaeon! i have had blood tests- i have a slightly underactive thyroid but not enough to warrant treatment. i also have some weird breathing problem so i find it hard to breathe through my nose, which gives me something like sleep apnoea where i stop breathing in the night so wake up. i went for sleep studies, and again, it wasn't bad enough to warrant NHS treatment!

i got this fitness watch for christmas and it tracks sleep and according to that my breathing and therefore deep sleep continuity are shit. so its really confirming what i already know, i have literally never had a good nights sleep.

no wonder i was so tired all the time that i just wanted to knock myself out for 16 years straight.

my new job has private healthcare so i might see if i can see another doctor about the sleep thing cos its fucking annoying.

This may sound weird, but you should actually be really happy that you've found this out. If you have sleep apnea and treat it you may see your mood & energy levels totally 180. My friend had sleep apnea and when he finally got round to trying a breathing machine he said he finally woke up with energy for the first time in decades! This could be a turning point for you.

I think accepting that we all suffer at times is key to recovery. I didn't actually realize till SMART that I had believed "I should never have to feel bad. If I feel bad, that means there's a problem that I need to fix". I had carried this irrational belief for so long that I'd never even though to question it, and when I did it was like a revelation. I'm still reeling from it to be honest. Why shouldn't I have to feel bad?? Feeling bad & suffering are normal parts of the human experience, and if I irrationally believe that if I'm feeling down then something unjust is happening then I will seek to "correct" it with drugs and make it all worse. If instead I accept that sometimes I'll feel good and sometimes I'll feel bad, and that's fine, then I leave myself in a much better position to try and arrange my life to minimize it, whilst accepting it when it does happen.

That being said though, I'm sure you haven't exhausted all your options yet! Did you ever do ketamine when you were using? Ketamine therapy is looking super promising as a treatment for depression, as well as microdosing psychedelics (and macrodosing in a therapeutic setting), so I hope you don't get too locked into the whole "born to suffer" mindset. We all feel bad sometimes, but you deserve better than your life to be defined by suffering!!

 

[Hylight]

Just a bit of a struggle at times.

And this plague thing is making things worse right now.

I'm find when I try to chip a bit.

 

[achemicalreaction]

Any long term Xanax users (10+ years) here who have tapered off completely? My doc is starting me on a slow taper this year - I’ve wanted to be off for a while now and have been terrified to do it, but it’s time. I’ve been on it for 25 years. I got myself to less than 2mg a day this year (more like 1.5), and we are reducing it by skipping a half mg every other day this month. It’s always been prescribed to me for a myriad of things but the cons have outweighed the benefits for a long time. I will likely always have a small emergency script but I am tired of daily use and insomnia. I’m hoping I don’t notice the taper, I think it’ll be the daily use that will be the hardest once I get there. I don’t really know anything else in my adult life.

 

[somnilicious]

Any long term Xanax users (10+ years) here who have tapered off completely? My doc is starting me on a slow taper this year - I’ve wanted to be off for a while now and have been terrified to do it, but it’s time. I’ve been on it for 25 years. I got myself to less than 2mg a day this year (more like 1.5), and we are reducing it by skipping a half mg every other day this month. It’s always been prescribed to me for a myriad of things but the cons have outweighed the benefits for a long time. I will likely always have a small emergency script but I am tired of daily use and insomnia. I’m hoping I don’t notice the taper, I think it’ll be the daily use that will be the hardest once I get there. I don’t really know anything else in my adult life.

I was on xanax and klonopin for about 10yrs. I got off benzos by going to rehab and sober living in 2015. I didn't really taper properly and jumped off at 1mg but I had been on that dose with a lot of days skipped for probably a year when I did so. I was also kicking methadone at the same time and the PAWS was horrible. I suffered a lot of ups and downs for a little over a year before I started relapsing on opiates again. I have been off benzos ever since with only a few binges during that time.

I am however back on methadone and have been for the last 1-2mths without using any other substances.

I will be getting off probation next Wed. and I can't wait to vape a little delta 8 thc to celebrate. It has been a long ride and I was beginning to think I'd never get off probation. My life is finally starting to come together.

 

[danequeed]

I relapsed again, been doing more research after every 1 to 2 weeks of being clean. This time all I could get was straight fentanyl, and Od'd on it after day 3. Woke up in a hypoxic stupor, with zero control over my thoughts or words, and a piercing ringing in my ears along with partial deafness. Ran around the house screaming for Aspirin like I was having a heart attack or stroke, parents had to hold me down and get me to drink water and relax. Blood sugar was at 280. Luckily I came out of it after an hour, ringing is only slightly worse than before.

I'm on day 3 of being clean now. It's pretty bad. The last few times I got clean there was no other option, I was either on a road trip with my girlfriend or my hookup was not answering, or was out of cash. This time it's 100% power of will. Holding my sanity together with a rapid taper Kratom regiment, chamomile tea, tylenol, and some heavy indicas. The worst is upon me. Have to endure the suck for my body to equalize, at least my length of use this time is shorter than before.

I don't know if this is the right place to say this or what, but it seems like there's a lot of supportive people on here that know what it's like. Thanks for that. Moving forward hour by hour, and tomorrow will be a better day than today. It could be much worse than it is. I can still sleep, and have a roof and food.

 

[Jabberwocky]

This may sound weird, but you should actually be really happy that you've found this out. If you have sleep apnea and treat it you may see your mood & energy levels totally 180. My friend had sleep apnea and when he finally got round to trying a breathing machine he said he finally woke up with energy for the first time in decades! This could be a turning point for you.

yes i really should get it looked into- its a bit different for me cos its the bone structure in my nose. my dad needed a procedure when he was a kid to have his fixed but they wouldn't even refer me to an ENT. i really need to find out if i can get it sorted with my work health insurance. it doesn't help that i'm also allergic to everything which blocks me up, the one thing i really actually miss about brown was not having allergies, they have come back way worse. there is immunotherapy available now to actually cure allergies but when i looked it was like £5k and cos mine aren't deadly NHS won't pay that, might see if i can get that subsidised through work too.

I think accepting that we all suffer at times is key to recovery. I didn't actually realize till SMART that I had believed "I should never have to feel bad. If I feel bad, that means there's a problem that I need to fix". I had carried this irrational belief for so long that I'd never even though to question it, and when I did it was like a revelation.

That being said though, I'm sure you haven't exhausted all your options yet! Did you ever do ketamine when you were using? Ketamine therapy is looking super promising as a treatment for depression, as well as microdosing psychedelics (and macrodosing in a therapeutic setting), so I hope you don't get too locked into the whole "born to suffer" mindset. We all feel bad sometimes, but you deserve better than your life to be defined by suffering!!

you are completely right about acceptance. i did the same thing when i was using. i honestly thought people who weren't self medicating anything they thought was bad were idiots. lol.

i did a bit of ket in my time using but was never that fussed with it. will be interesting to see how it does for treatment!!

I will be getting off probation next Wed. and I can't wait to vape a little delta 8 thc to celebrate. It has been a long ride and I was beginning to think I'd never get off probation. My life is finally starting to come together.

yeeesssss!!! nice one! well done.

i'm tired again cos i woke up early. ffs. also, i have been actually properly dieting for like a dday and a half and haven't lost any weight yet and i know its dumb cos that is way too soon but it disappoints the part of my brain that knows exactly how to drop weight super fast (and drop sanity in the process!!)

 

[JessFR]

i still feel like there is something inherently broken about me. or my other favourite is that i was born to suffer, i have this fatalism due to my family history.

I know exactly what you mean. I've felt broken as long as I can remember. And while I don't specifically feel like I was born to suffer, I often feel like suffering is an inevitability for me for reasons I don't fully understand but that must nevertheless be fully justified. Like that I'm cursed. That in some way I can't comprehend I'm being punished.

It's all pretty natural depression stuff of course, I'm hardly alone in these kinds of feelings. Not that that's much comfort.

 

[Jabberwocky]

i completely get you. though its a very attractive trap- if its completely justified and inevitable then there's no point in fighting, so we don't fight and don't get better. i still fall in it more often than i feel i should.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

Just a bit of a struggle at times.

And this plague thing is making things worse right now.

I'm find when I try to chip a bit.

What does that mean??

Any long term Xanax users (10+ years) here who have tapered off completely? My doc is starting me on a slow taper this year - I’ve wanted to be off for a while now and have been terrified to do it, but it’s time. I’ve been on it for 25 years. I got myself to less than 2mg a day this year (more like 1.5), and we are reducing it by skipping a half mg every other day this month. It’s always been prescribed to me for a myriad of things but the cons have outweighed the benefits for a long time. I will likely always have a small emergency script but I am tired of daily use and insomnia. I’m hoping I don’t notice the taper, I think it’ll be the daily use that will be the hardest once I get there. I don’t really know anything else in my adult life.

I've never been dependent on benzos but I've read quite a lot about it. As you know, it will be challenging. A slow taper is your best bet. With the correct tapering procedure, some people experience little to no WDs, whilst some are in for a rough ride. Just remember though that you will come through the other side of this. Reducing by 0.5mg every other day sounds really quick when it comes to benzos though?? That's not really a "slow taper" at all, especially when you're already down to the lower doses. Have you thought about extending it a bit? Or maybe doing that until it's really unpleasant and then slowing down?

 

[Rio Fantastic]

I relapsed again, been doing more research after every 1 to 2 weeks of being clean. This time all I could get was straight fentanyl, and Od'd on it after day 3. Woke up in a hypoxic stupor, with zero control over my thoughts or words, and a piercing ringing in my ears along with partial deafness. Ran around the house screaming for Aspirin like I was having a heart attack or stroke, parents had to hold me down and get me to drink water and relax. Blood sugar was at 280. Luckily I came out of it after an hour, ringing is only slightly worse than before.

I'm on day 3 of being clean now. It's pretty bad. The last few times I got clean there was no other option, I was either on a road trip with my girlfriend or my hookup was not answering, or was out of cash. This time it's 100% power of will. Holding my sanity together with a rapid taper Kratom regiment, chamomile tea, tylenol, and some heavy indicas. The worst is upon me. Have to endure the suck for my body to equalize, at least my length of use this time is shorter than before.

I don't know if this is the right place to say this or what, but it seems like there's a lot of supportive people on here that know what it's like. Thanks for that. Moving forward hour by hour, and tomorrow will be a better day than today. It could be much worse than it is. I can still sleep, and have a roof and food.

I'm sorry to hear you relapsed. However, that's really encouraging that you've done it this time from your own volition. Having an OD be your last experience, especially a terrifying one like that, can be a powerful motivator to stick with sobriety as long as you actively remember it. Your brain will naturally make that memory foggier and less accessible whilst the memory of opiate highs only becomes more vivid and attractive, so to counteract that tendency I would suggest actively recalling that experience, as well as the other consequences using has had on your life, as an antidote against euphoric recall. You're right though - day 3 is when WD is usually at its most intense, and its an awesome milestone when you know with every hour you endure withdrawal is now receding rather than intensifying.

Have you dealt with PAWs before?

 

[Rio Fantastic]

yes i really should get it looked into- its a bit different for me cos its the bone structure in my nose. my dad needed a procedure when he was a kid to have his fixed but they wouldn't even refer me to an ENT. i really need to find out if i can get it sorted with my work health insurance. it doesn't help that i'm also allergic to everything which blocks me up, the one thing i really actually miss about brown was not having allergies, they have come back way worse. there is immunotherapy available now to actually cure allergies but when i looked it was like £5k and cos mine aren't deadly NHS won't pay that, might see if i can get that subsidised through work too.

you are completely right about acceptance. i did the same thing when i was using. i honestly thought people who weren't self medicating anything they thought was bad were idiots. lol.

i did a bit of ket in my time using but was never that fussed with it. will be interesting to see how it does for treatment!!

yeeesssss!!! nice one! well done.

i'm tired again cos i woke up early. ffs. also, i have been actually properly dieting for like a dday and a half and haven't lost any weight yet and i know its dumb cos that is way too soon but it disappoints the part of my brain that knows exactly how to drop weight super fast (and drop sanity in the process!!)

Is dieting advisable so soon after stopping drinking?? Won't any extra weight come off you just because you aren't drinking all those extra calories?? idk chinup, it just sounds like a lot to take on at once. I believe in you though and I'm sure you know whats best for you, just hope you aren't overdoing it.

Yeah try and make the most of that health insurance!! If you can't get the allergy treatment through them would there be any barrier to just exaggerating how bad your allergies are?

 

[ions]

You might substitute something in place of what you are quitting. Like food for beer. Cannabis is a safe alternative, but I know my state doesn't list alcohol as a qualifying condition, only opiates. Hemp flower helped me quit smoking, but then I started drinking heavier. It's swapping habits I know, but change is sometimes necessary and difficult to accomplish. It comes down to dealing with the punches life throws you. For instance, modern medicine believes that antipsychotics are better than cannabis and often prescribe where they're unnecessary for a profit to keep a business afloat.