Mental Health All I wanted was a few vallies now I'm in hospital

[Fairy of the Flowers]

Well I was hoping to get some valium off the doctor as I feel manic and crazy as hell since going up to 30mg mirtazapine, I got 4 x 5mg vallies last time this happened few years ago but instead I'm sat in a hospital corridor in a que because the emergency doctor I got sent too called an ambulance for me as thinks I have serotonin syndrome, I only seen this on duty doctor as didn't want to go to hospital to get a heart trace and shit yet here I sit in a wheelchair in hospital with a mask on even though I'm excempt, I only had the phone appointment earlier on to ask for trazodone instead of mirtazapine but I sounded so weird and was stuttering that I got sent to the doctors after hours, then the hospital

I think the doctor has sent some valium to my chemist which ain't open till tomorrow

So tonight it looks like all I'll have is promethazine as I can't even take a lower dose of mirtazapine to help sleep, the 30mg caused insomnia that's how this started, fucksake all antidepressants fuck me up but my doctor won't prescribe valium unless it's an emergency

I asked about trazodone but got shot down by the doctor on the phone and the on duty doctor I got sent too, I look and feel insane, I'm grinding my jaw and look like I'm on something but I'm not that's the problem lol

What the fuck am I meant to do now? doctors have gave up and have no idea what to give me as antidepressants clearly ain't for me, but they won't give me valium or anything, they won't give me painkillers for my fibromyalgia either, I think I've got a thing saying I used to be an addict on my records, but then again the UK are fucking tight with benzos and shit anyway

Anyway I've rambled on because I'm clearly not right because of the mirtazapine so maybe it is serotonin syndrome as the paramedic thought so too as I was grinding my jaw lol

 

[MsDiz]

Definitely stay and get assessed. I hope you’re feeling better soon.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

the jaw grinding dos sound a tad SS like tbh

best you can do for now is just take each moment as it comes....see the hosp docs n see what they say and go from there - no point in worrying about tomorrow until tomorrow if at all possible

perhaps it's time to check out a more natural approach to mood and/or anxiety management - I've had that feeling from stuff you have posted before tbh - looks like the meds just aren't cutting it for you longterm like many others have experienced

 

[ions]

Sue. They’re insured why not. It comes to finding an attorney willing to prosecute. Well start w. Defamation.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Sending you my energy from my emergency reserve.

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

Thanks guys

The on duty doctor said my heart rates up, tachycardia and there's something up with my reflexes, sweaty palms and jerky movements, stuttering and twitching, it came on quite quick today but I've not been right for a while, I think I'm biting my tounge now and feel like I'm straining my eyeballs like I'm on uppers lol, I'm so thirsty too, but still waiting to be seen so we'll see what they say, I can't stay here to many hours I'll miss the last bus home and live miles away its a long walk

perhaps it's time to check out a more natural approach to mood and/or anxiety management

Yeah quite possibly but when you're depressed and anxious you can't be arsed with your diet and exercise and stuff, I know I'm going to have no appetite now and drop so much weight by not being on the mirtazapine as they're an appetite stimulant and help me keep my weight up, and the doctors don't like giving out the supplement drinks either

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

I've just had my blood pressure took and asked the nurse how long I'll be waiting and she said its an average a 5 and a half hour wait so I'm like "I think I'm going to go home then" lol now I'm sat at a cold bus stop, my back hurting so much from being sat up so long in a wheelchair, I can't wait to get home now, waste of time that was I should of just had the script for the valium and gone home from the doctors like I first suggested but he was adament I should go to hospital

I'm biting my tounge and feel like I'm pushing my eyes out my head fucksake I want vallies I know they'll calm me down, I'll camp outside the chemist's tonight haha

 

[MsDiz]

I've just had my blood pressure took and asked the nurse how long I'll be waiting and she said its an average a 5 and a half hour wait so I'm like "I think I'm going to go home then" lol now I'm sat at a cold bus stop, my back hurting so much from being sat up so long in a wheelchair, I can't wait to get home now, waste of time that was I should of just had the script for the valium and gone home from the doctors like I first suggested but he was adament I should go to hospital

I'm biting my tounge and feel like I'm pushing my eyes out my head fucksake I want vallies I know they'll calm me down, I'll camp outside the chemist's tonight haha

I would advise you to go back and wait. There is something else going on that needs to be investigated.

 

[ions]

I estimate 8 billion to tap a vein for blood.

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

I would advise you to go back and wait. There is something else going on that needs to be investigated

I'm on the bus now, I've had this before, twice, maybe more and been okay, I should have valium put through to my chemist if I can just get through tonight with 80mg of promethazine, if I'm still like this tomorrow after valium I'll call 111

I couldn't wait there anymore my fibromyalgia is bad and my anxiety ontop too it was to much, another 3 hours in that chair ontop of 2 hours or more I've been waiting I can't handle it anymore

 

[MsDiz]

I'm on the bus now, I've had this before, twice, maybe more and been okay, I should have valium put through to my chemist if I can just get through tonight with 80mg of promethazine, if I'm still like this tomorrow after valium I'll call 111

I couldn't wait there anymore my fibromyalgia is bad and my anxiety ontop too it was to much, another 3 hours in that chair ontop of 2 hours or more I've been waiting I can't handle it anymore

If you’ve had that twice before then you really need to find out what’s going on. I realise the wait time is horrible and having to sit uncomfortably isn’t good either but I really do think 3 hours would have been worth finding out what’s wrong.

Do you have anyone at home to keep an eye on you?

 

[Sirena Oscura]

Yeah look it’s hard to say- anxiety itself can cause most of your symptoms. Having said that, anxiety is also a symptom of SS. SS is more common at higher dosages and when mixing multiple serotonergic agents. Benzos are the answer to both though- so even though you say benzos helped in the past doesn’t rule SS out, it’s the first line treatment for it. There’s always stages of these things though, if they let you leave that’s a pretty good indicator they don’t think it’s at the life threatening stage and some benzos would help. It would be nice to stop taking them, but some people really need to be medicated and just closely watched instead- weighting the harm and benefits.

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

Do you have anyone at home to keep an eye on you?

Yeah my 18 year old son, I was still a bit of a state when I got home but not as bad, I was fine in the end, I took 60mg of promethazine and still couldn't sleep as my anxiety and restlessness and other symptoms was so bad, in the end I thought this could be from stopping 30mg mirtazapine 2 days before and taking 3 zopiclone to sleep the first night and 4 the second night to sleep, now they've ran out so I thought fuck it I'm taking 15mg mirtazapine last night, and low and behold I slept and I feel loads better, although I thought what if I stroke out or have a heart attack, but whats bad is I also thought I don't care, maybe they'll take me seriously and I'll be seen sooner if I nearly die and then my doctor might start me on vallies as needed instead of daily antidepressants lol!

But I was still anxious when I woke up, so I go to pick up the valium and you know what they gave me? 6 fucking 2mg vallies what a fucking joke, says take one twice I day, I obviously took all 6 soon as I got back as 2mg may as well be sugar pills taking any less, and I can munch my way through much stronger benzos like sweets on the occasions I buy some

Thanks for caring though hun, I really appreciate it, but I just knew they'd they'd take my stats and say I'm fine and send me home, but as the wait was 5 and a half hours I'd of missed the last bus and it's so far from home, and I wasn't right to walk over an hour or more in the cold, taxis are to expensive and after midnight they charge time and a half

Yeah look it’s hard to say- anxiety itself can cause most of your symptoms

When the on duty doctor took my heart rate and asked if I'm sweaty I said that could be my anxiety, but I really looked a state, and what with my reflexes and stuff he was being a doctor and doing what he thought was best, I'm not surprised he called an ambulance as he was worried serotonin syndrome was life threatening, I calmed down quite a bit by time I was at the hospital though, not properly but was a bit better

Having said that, anxiety is also a symptom of SS. SS is more common at higher dosages and when mixing multiple serotonergic agents

I'd best not add trazodone onto a smaller amount of mirtazapine considering my reaction to all antidepressants are like this then, it's what I suggested on the telephone appointment to the first doctor I spoke too yesterday, SSRI and SNRI in low doses do this but much worse and also mirtazapine at 30mg, I was doing good at 22.5mg for months till it pooped out on me

Benzos are the answer to both though- so even though you say benzos helped in the past doesn’t rule SS out, it’s the first line treatment for it

Its exactly what I told the doctor, and when I told the paramedics she said "so is that why you went to the doctor" I'm like no, I'm not a fucking wreck head" (shhhh I know I'm an ex benzo addict but I also know when I'm in that state they help)

It would be nice to stop taking them, but some people really need to be medicated and just closely watched instead- weighting the harm and benefits

I think you're right, and it's exactly why I'm going to cut down my dose back to 15mg if I can, if its to low I'll do 22.5mg one night 15mg the next for a few weeks then 15mg each night then shave a bit off and slow taper, and see how I go, they really did help for months, I'm heavier, I hate being under 9 stone I look ill and like a junky, to thin, cant eat when I stop cold turkey even though I use benzos to stop the mirtazapine for a tolerance break when they poop out helping my sleep, I drop about a stone

But then my depression is so bad after a few weeks and takes another month or so for them to kick back in when I start taking them again, and my over thinking and worry makes me want to top myself from the stress and worry of stuff going round and round in my brain, it's the overthinking and insomnia I can not handle it, I have generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety and depression, oh and fibromyalgia so I'm in pain more than usual today, once I'm off mirtazapine if my depression comes, then what, maybe trazodone which is another sedating antidepressant but like the doctor said, if I'm like this on meds then it's not such a good idea starting another one lol

 

[Sirena Oscura]

Look, your doctors are the only ones who can weigh the benefit v harm for you as they know your history and presentation. If they think you should be on antidepressants don’t stop them. If they say you should stop them due to the risk of SS then go ahead. But it sounds like as soon as the mirtazapine starts working you self cease it thinking you’re cured which obviously leaves you back in your original state + discontinuation syndrome probably making those symptoms worse.

Like I said, there’s stages of SS meaning you can have mild symptoms which may or may NOT develop into serious life threatening symptoms. I’ve experienced it too, don’t worry, but with the addition of panic attacks and a high fever, took diazepam because I knew what was happening and was fine afterwards. Took a break from the medication for a couple of days. Your timeline is fuzzy but your last post alludes to you stopping the medication two days before... if you stopped mirtazapine before you got the symptoms 1. It’s not SS 2. you were likely getting a hefty dose of rebound anxiety from discontinuation.

This whole issue with benzos is another thing though.

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

if you stopped mirtazapine before you got the symptoms 1. It’s not SS 2. you were likely getting a hefty dose of rebound anxiety from discontinuation

I thought that too, I did get insomnia and felt a bit hyper while on the 30mg dose though, so stopped it, then 2 days later them really bad symptoms happened so it's more than likely withdrawals from it ain't it, yeah was a good idea going back on them then, but lower dose

Taking 15mg of mirtazapine last night and just 12mg valium this morning I feel loads better, no vallies left but they lasted all day because I've not had benzos for a while it really helped

 

[Sirena Oscura]

Yeah it sounds like going back down again for a while longer isn’t a bad idea before trying to up your dosage again. Again, all about weighing the benefit v harm- take the dose that does the most good with the least harm, if you increase again in a few weeks and you just can’t get past those symptoms after a week then your doctor may tell you to stay on the lower dose if it’s helping you otherwise.

Just a side note, if you hadn’t had any diazepam in a long time then your tolerance may not be the same as before, so I would have tried one first to see how it went before trying another and another if it didn’t help within an hour or so of each tablet. You may have found you didn’t need to take them all at once. 2mg sounds like a small number, but don’t get into the mindset that that means it’s “nothing”. Sometimes people can be a bit ‘impulsive’ if they’ve abused benzos before- I get it, but just a thought.

 

[ions]

When a dr asks what do you hear when I leave the room? I hear silence.

 

[Specified]

Look, your doctors are the only ones who can weigh the benefit v harm for you as they know your history and presentation. If they think you should be on antidepressants don’t stop them. If they say you should stop them due to the risk of SS then go ahead. But it sounds like as soon as the mirtazapine starts working you self cease it thinking you’re cured which obviously leaves you back in your original state + discontinuation syndrome probably making those symptoms worse.

Like I said, there’s stages of SS meaning you can have mild symptoms which may or may NOT develop into serious life threatening symptoms. I’ve experienced it too, don’t worry, yep true but is cyproheptadince applicaple to all

 

[sekio]

these days I am really not surprised that doctors are very hesitant to give benzos, the pendulum has swung the other way this decade, there's now just too many horror stories about benzo dependance/benzo abuse/paradoxical effects.

 

[Fairy of the Flowers]

Yeah I know but I also knew vallues would of helped, and funnily enough as soon as I took all 6 x 2mg because the tight asses only prescribed those weak ones lol, but they helped, I then dropped down to 15mg mirtazapine but the doctors stopped them, so I'm tapering myself off mirtazapine but I'm stuck on 7.5mg and CBD and don't have enough mirtazapine to last more than 2 or 3 weeks and hardly any CBD left hmmm, I pick up zopiclone next week and can afford more CBD in 2 weeks though so need to just wing it