EADD Heroin thread v.XXV -- a quarter centuary of threads if not yet a full decade since the 'drought'...

[Zopiclone bandit]

Cos i have had fent before( not my intentioal) before. I purchased heroin on darkweb from uk vendor 2 years ago and it was mixed wirn fent. I got nodding too FAST and puke too much. It was too HARD to keep my eye open. Heroin doesnt do that. I use heroin for 24years now so i know alot about heroin. I already test with fent strip on this batch from darkweb very recently and it was postive! My heart SANK!

Yeah same here for Fent but I didn't get it off Tor.
We were smoking it & wondered why it wasn't doing anything (as it's in the very low mg range at the most the actual Fent just went up in smoke)
I decided to IV some.....big mistake, it was dropping junkies left & right, some wanted to beat the shit out the dealer for selling such crap & break his kneecaps.

 

[Dick&Warty]

Picked up an eighth seeing as I'm probably not seeing anyone in person for a while and have no responsibilities.
Going to try and resist the urge to IV this time.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Has heroin quality gone pure shite up there? From what i have read somewhere about the best city to buy for proper stuff and it said birmingham? Huddersfield and brighton and hove (i think) are the best place to score for proper stuff. I will try to find the link.

its impossible to say this without sounding racist but hey ho, my experience is that heroin comes into this country through the Pakistani community, which is why it was so much better in Bradford than Leeds even though they are 11 miles apart. I live by Rusholme so I'm pretty sure if I had the contacts I could get fire up here.

anyway that is not why i came to the heroin thread, i came here cos i have a question for anyone who might have done a long stretch clean and then used again. as some of you know i've been in recovery for 2 years but had a couple of lapses. i know for sure some of the times i scored it was good shit, but it didn't make me feel remotely good. physically i could tell i had relaxed, but i expected with no tolerance and decent gear to have actually got something like the warm hug feeling we all chase forever. it had no noticeable impact on my mood.

for some reason its just hit me that maybe this means i will never have that feeling again and its fucking intolerable. like i'm sitting here crying. i maintained my recovery by keeping the door ajar for heroin, i couldn't say good bye. i feel a desperation like i haven't known since i was addicted to crack.

i don't want to use but i just don't want it to be over. has anybody got any idea why using recently didn't do it for me?

 

[mokele]

I swear to God what the hell is it with these junkies? You tell them you had nothing today & waiting on cash & they ALWAYS come out with the same shit "FUCK OFF yau eyes are pinned" when you really had nothing. I swear to God I want to set about these morons Mexican narco style.

No the sweat on my back, the chills running down my spine like someone just injected ice water into me, the nose that runs like a tap, the yawning is all fake....course it is.

FFS I HATE these lot & it is always the same type, usually rough sleepers with legs all puffed up like sausages from DVT or using a 2ml for years on end, I'd burn the lot of them & laugh.

The words from Nico come to mind "I got me a band of amateur junkies"

Why they say that to you, though???
Obviously not your pals, they trying to get money or whatever outta you,thats clear. But why wont a polite " fuck off " or simply NO dont solve problem? It reads as if they see you and come flooding. You must be very annoyed cuz DVT is no joke.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

its impossible to say this without sounding racist but hey ho, my experience is that heroin comes into this country through the Pakistani community, which is why it was so much better in Bradford than Leeds even though they are 11 miles apart. I live by Rusholme so I'm pretty sure if I had the contacts I could get fire up here.

anyway that is not why i came to the heroin thread, i came here cos i have a question for anyone who might have done a long stretch clean and then used again. as some of you know i've been in recovery for 2 years but had a couple of lapses. i know for sure some of the times i scored it was good shit, but it didn't make me feel remotely good. physically i could tell i had relaxed, but i expected with no tolerance and decent gear to have actually got something like the warm hug feeling we all chase forever. it had no noticeable impact on my mood.

for some reason its just hit me that maybe this means i will never have that feeling again and its fucking intolerable. like i'm sitting here crying. i maintained my recovery by keeping the door ajar for heroin, i couldn't say good bye. i feel a desperation like i haven't known since i was addicted to crack.

i don't want to use but i just don't want it to be over. has anybody got any idea why using recently didn't do it for me?

Yes Chinup, your body is trying to tell you something. Coming off drugs is like a grieving process and you're currently in mourning. But just as when someone dies, there comes a time when you have to let go and move on. Perhaps that time has come?

About two years after finally coming off methadone, I scored a 10 bag. Not because I had any great desire to use, but simply because it was there and I was curious as to whether it would make me feel like it did all those years ago. But like you, I got none of the heroin bliss. It just made me extremely irritable and I was glad when it wore off. Rather than being disappointed, I was relieved.

There are still the odd occasions where I'm around users and I have no problem with saying "no" when offered a line.

 

[Jabberwocky]

well fuck you @F.U.B.A.R. for not telling me how to make smack work for me again! and thank you for telling me the truth. i need to accept its over for me.

its somehow good to know that i'm not the only one. i am feeling better but i've drunk a few beers, had some clonazepam, and drank a few solpadeine. i know its not how i should be dealing with my emotions but given my brain was heading towards scoring dark earlier i'm not gonna beat myself up.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

well fuck you @F.U.B.A.R. for not telling me how to make smack work for me again! and thank you for telling me the truth. i need to accept its over for me.

its somehow good to know that i'm not the only one. i am feeling better but i've drunk a few beers, had some clonazepam, and drank a few solpadeine. i know its not how i should be dealing with my emotions but given my brain was heading towards scoring dark earlier i'm not gonna beat myself up.

Heh, I'm no one to preach - I've been eating 15mg codeine phosphate pills like sweets this last couple of days, and I've still got 50 left. But they don't count, right?

 

[Jabberwocky]

ha can't blame you. i would give at least one of my fingers for some proper codeine or dhc right now. too scared to consume large amounts of solpadeine or neurofen plus cos my liver and stomach are not in great shape as it is. for someone with a previous history of strong opiate abuse, i'd say that while not encouraged, it doesn't really count.

 

[Dick&Warty]

First started 13 years ago, picked up the needle again last month after having not IV'd in 7 years. It is never as good as you remember it. Couple that with the fact your circumstances have probably changed and you're not using for the same reason / in the same situation you got hooked in, so you/re just chasing a memory of something that once gave you comfort, but the reason you tried stopping in the first place was because you realised it was actually shit, so why go back? it's just conditioning mixed with you bullshitting yourself to come up with whatever reason to use. Undo the conditioning, via abstinence...and psychedelics IMO!

 

[Zopiclone bandit]

How can ALL the gear be "shit" like you lot say? That's so dumb.
I find so many ex bagheads try to pull this trick so they don't think about going to score, what a total load of rubbish!!!!

 

[Jabberwocky]

How can ALL the gear be "shit" like you lot say? That's so dumb.
I find so many ex bagheads try to pull this trick so they don't think about going to score, what a total load of rubbish!!!!

i said in a previous post that i am sure that the gear i had recently was good (you can tell by the way it behaves when you're taking it, as i'm sure i don't need to tell you). its just your reaction to it changes after a long period of sobriety, and it is no longer enjoyable.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Yeh. No one is saying all gear is shit. It's just that once you've been off it for a while, you to tend to wonder what all the fuckin fuss was about in the first place...

 

[dsd]

Do any of you ever see guys under the age of 30 buying gear(B).?
I hardly see people under the age of 40+ when I go to the Clinic, dealer..
I was part of that huge wave in the early 90's that so many got on it. But I don't think there's been a wave of addicts since then, definitely not in my area.
A few young Nepalese , that's it.

Just seems like it is all the same guys on it , who you knew 20 + years ago. Just all f**ked up with COPD for our endeavours.

So, you think young 'uns are getting on gear still or no??

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Do any of you ever see guys under the age of 30 buying gear(B).?
I hardly see people under the age of 40+ when I go to the Clinic, dealer..
I was part of that huge wave in the early 90's that so many got on it. But I don't think there's been a wave of addicts since then, definitely not in my area.
A few young Nepalese , that's it.

Just seems like it is all the same guys on it , who you knew 20 + years ago. Just all f**ked up with COPD for our endeavours.

So, you think young 'uns are getting on gear still or no??

Good point. From what I see of my kids and their network of friends, they're all too busy doing pub ket, pub coke and fake Xanax bars mixed with ridiculously overloaded spliffs of uberpotent weed.


I'm not sure which is fuckin worse tbh...

 

[Jabberwocky]

its gotta be better than 10 years ago when my boyfs then 16 year old brother was on a several years long mephedrone binge and had to keep a kettle by his bed to steam his nose to get the vacuum back so he could keep snortin.

i answer to @dsd's question, i was in my mid twenties when i got on gear, around 2012. my boyf at the time was the same age and most of the people i've used with are in a similar age. i guess its natural for people to stick to roughly their age group. there was a girl on my peripheral using group who was a teenager and had already wrecked the veins in her limbs so needed to go in her groin.

tbh i looked down on the old people. honestly couldn't understand why you'd waste literally your entire life doing this shit. and doing fuck all but smack for that long definitely impairs your ability to have a conversation even worse than just being a junkie. now i know how hard it is to actually stop i am less judgemental.

to be fair when nofx released the song '6 years on dope' (their only good song in 20 years) i was 4 years in and was judgemental about that, like what idiot loses 6 years of their life to smack? needless to say 2 years later i learned my lesson.

 

[Dick&Warty]

I'm sure young people are doing opiates, but probably more into 'lean', codeine and oxys simply due to the America's trap rap blah blah influence on kids these days. Why they're all obsessed with xanax and what not.

I'm sure some of them will progress onto heroin, and you'll end up seeing them heading to clinics in the next 10 years or so.

I'm 34, I first tried Heroin in 2008. Amongst my social circle, I'd only ever come across one person who also used opiates, and that wasn't a surprise considering they were also a BL'er.

Heroin still has so much stigma attached as well as the fact people are more informed these days, all they have to do is watch a Krokodil video on youtube to put them off going near that scene for life.

 

[dsd]

Good point. From what I see of my kids and their network of friends, they're all too busy doing pub ket, pub coke and fake Xanax bars mixed with ridiculously overloaded spliffs of uberpotent weed.


I'm not sure which is fuckin worse tbh...

I don't know what this super strength weed must be doing to some.
A young workmate was acting / looked super stoned the other day.
He said it was California weed.
£90 for a 8th!!!!

 

[LoginNotSecure]

A fool and their money and all that..

 

[monstanoodle]

ha can't blame you. i would give at least one of my fingers for some proper codeine or dhc right now. too scared to consume large amounts of solpadeine or neurofen plus cos my liver and stomach are not in great shape as it is. for someone with a previous history of strong opiate abuse, i'd say that while not encouraged, it doesn't really count.

Please do watch out with yer liver mate.... It's not fun in hospital ESPECIALLLY NOW!
CWE is the best way - Safest and will help you get through this shit. I've been lucky just to take Codeine and not lapse back into full-blow gear, but it's always on my mind.
@F.U.B.A.R. I have manged to cut down on having so many "sweeties" but DO BE SLOW ABOUT IT!
Codeine is a right cunt, the fact that my metabolism is so quick is not grand, but do persist as it will pay off in the end,
Keep safe everyone

 

[fightingthetoot]

There defo is still a ‘’junkie element’’ youth is just not like train spotting , people don’t look a mess, but loads young heads will tell you it’s a waste to sniff pure cola, then the amount of people who take a burn on the fly is crazy & if they don’t do that it’s benzos. If you smoke tackle & I smoke it, we can’t tell on each other really

Another one is when a lad is giving b & w to shift, not all but a lot of boys dabble see what it’s like obvs they don’t become fiends over night , well some do lol it sews the seed. By 30 either crack head or smack heads , or even worse a spice head.