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play "blurbs" with me - a narcissistic game for frustrated novelists ...

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MrsGamp

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My daughter and I made this game up and have had some fun with it ...

Basically you make up an author's name, a title, you write a blurb and include stuff like "praise for" and "now a major motion picture" or whatever accolades you feel like attributing to your non-existent masterpiece. As a finishing touch include an "author photo".

Eg:

Old King Cole by Lesa Chen Telman

Tessie is a devout Catholic and, at the age of forty, still a virgin, living alone with her brutal father. After his sudden death, Tessie meets up with her sexuality at last - and her desires are dark and dangerous. Naive but thoroughly perverted, Tessie meets Cole online - on a BDSM website. She falls for his "cheap charisma". Farce gives way to tragedy as Cole's demands upon her become ever more extreme...

shit I wish I could finish this but its time for group therapy ...
 
MrsGamp said:
My daughter and I made this game up and have had some fun with it ...

Basically you make up an author's name, a title, you write a blurb and include stuff like "praise for" and "now a major motion picture" or whatever accolades you feel like attributing to your non-existent masterpiece. As a finishing touch include an "author photo".

Eg:

Old King Cole by Lesa Chen Telman

Tessie is a devout Catholic and, at the age of forty, still a virgin, living alone with her brutal father. After his sudden death, Tessie meets up with her sexuality at last - and her desires are dark and dangerous. Naive but thoroughly perverted, Tessie meets Cole online - on a BDSM website. She falls for his "cheap charisma". Farce gives way to tragedy as Cole's demands upon her become ever more extreme...

shit I wish I could finish this but its time for group therapy ...
Click to expand...

PS did have time to take a suitably pretentious "author picture" though ... (see below)
 
"An Invitation to Hell"
A doorway into hell has opened in a small town in the southwest USA and the only person who knows of it's existence that may be able to close it is Joseph Marx. Unfortunately for the sake of humankind Joseph is a blubbering idiot with an endless number of phobia's and fear's. In a journey of clumsiness and concussions this dim witted moron becomes something nobody could have ever imagined and save's a world that mocked him his entire life.
 
come on shady, will you do a little blurb
xxfreak187xx said:
"An Invitation to Hell"
A doorway into hell has opened in a small town in the southwest USA and the only person who knows of it's existence that may be able to close it is Joseph Marx. Unfortunately for the sake of humankind Joseph is a blubbering idiot with an endless number of phobia's and fear's. In a journey of clumsiness and concussions this dim witted moron becomes something nobody could have ever imagined and save's a world that mocked him his entire life.
Click to expand...
PRAISE FOR An Invitation To Hell

A fresh take on the paradigm of holy fools, and a glorious ramshackling mind fuck of a blockbuster to boot ... Pick your time to pick this up, because you won't put it down until you've finished it ... - The Times Literary Supplement

Joseph Marx is Hamlet on speed. Action, hilarity, irony and pity ... Invitation is actually better than sex ... - The New Yorker

An Invitation to Hell is robustly original - sometimes shocking, sometimes funny, always honest... Slavoj Zizek

There's something for everyone in this book... and a little bit more.
Peter Garret, Peter's Garret.

Like reading Stephen King, but without that feeling that you're smelling Stephen King's farts - Bob Nagle, The Daily Beast.
 
"Puppy play in the age of Tiktok; an Anthology of Research Essays" by Sven Strongwurst

Sven Strongwurst has dedicated his life to understanding the underworld of Puppy Play in the modern age and it's relationship with social media. He embarks on a fascinating journey to uncover the roots, the motivations and the characters at work in this little understood sub-culture. In this collection of research essays he explores important topics such as "Who plays the male dog and who plays the female dog?" "Tracing the roots of Puppy Play back to it's African Animist roots," "How your bark indicates your bite as a puppy and how it influences futures trading" and "The influence of the Baha Men on Tiktok videos - Who Let the Dog Out." His groundbreaking work at the University of Berlin in conjunction with the Dept. of Homeland Security has been praised by many and he is seen as an academic savant and at the very fore-front of the avant-garde.

"Sven has shown great dedication and amazing insight into the human canine world, unmatched by any of his peers, he bravely brings to light this secret space." - Cindy Mailbite, The Pedigree Times

"The inter-relationship between national security, men in latex dog suits and social media is laid bare by Sven's amazing research and insight. A true masterclass in immersive research." - Dan Woofle, The New Borker

"A strong showing from Strongwurst in this collection of essays; witty, brilliant and gripping." - Sandra Chewbone, The New Kennel

"It's pretty fucked up, Sven and all these dudes are pretty fucking weird" - John Barker, The Financial Herald
 
Last edited by a moderator:
puppy-play.jpg

(Sven Strongwurst and partner Linda Hambone, shot for Vogue, 2020)
 
@MrsGamp You better appreciate the 10 mins of hard work I put into this piece (see above - not just the pic, there's a whole blurb and reviews). Fun idea (wtf am I doing with my life) :)
 
xxfreak187xx said:
Did not see that coming,.....
Click to expand...

I cracked myself up writing it. Most of the time was spent coming up with dog related writer names and publications. I like how the last review is from the Financial Herald. I like to think "John Barker" got sent the book by accident.
 
c
BK38 said:
"Puppy play in the age of Tiktok; an Anthology of Research Essays" by Sven Strongwurst

Sven Strongwurst has dedicated his life to understanding the underworld of Puppy Play in the modern age and it's relationship with social media. He embarks on a fascinating journey to uncover the roots, the motivations and the characters at work in this little understood sub-culture. In this collection of research essays he explores important topics such as "Who plays the male dog and who plays the female dog?" "Tracing the roots of Puppy Play back to it's African Animist roots," "How your bark indicates your bite as a puppy and how it influences futures trading" and "The influence of the Baha Men on Tiktok videos - Who Let the Dog Out." His groundbreaking work at the University of Berlin in conjunction with the Dept. of Homeland Security has been praised by many and he is seen as an academic savant and at the very fore-front of the avant-garde.

"Sven has shown great dedication and amazing insight into the human canine world, unmatched by any of his peers, he bravely brings to light this secret space." - Cindy Mailbite, The Pedigree Times

"The inter-relationship between national security, men in latex dog suits and social media is laid bare by Sven's amazing research and insight. A true masterclass in immersive research." - Dan Woofle, The New Borker

"A strong showing from Strongwurst in this collection of essays; witty, brilliant and gripping." - Sandra Chewbone, The New Kennel

"It's pretty fucked up, Sven and all these dudes are pretty fucking weird" - John Barker, The Financial Herald
Click to expand...
 
MrsGamp said:
c
Click to expand...
MORE Praise for Puppy Play in the Age of TikTok

Among many other things, this text insists on the situatedness of Puppy Play in the textual interstices between fraught but playful signifiers of the COVID-Trumpianist late capitalist tabulae. More Deluezian than classically Marxist, the author questions everything, including the puppy-Phallic ... " - Judith Butler, Doggy Style.
 
MrsGamp said:
MORE Praise for Puppy Play in the Age of TikTok

Among many other things, this text insists on the situatedness of Puppy Play in the textual interstices between fraught but playful signifiers of the COVID-Trumpianist late capitalist tabulae. More Deluezian than classically Marxist, the author questions everything, including the puppy-Phallic ... " - Judith Butler, Doggy Style.
Click to expand...
ps I wanna write more but am about to see doctor. however I laughed my ass off!
 
Coffeeshroom said:
Completely off topic but WTF?! That pic is twisted in so many ways :sick:

Still much love brotha.
Click to expand...

Lol, right? I just think it's so strange and pretty messed up. I was trying to come up with the most ridiculous book blurb I could and decided on this thing (this thread game said to add a pic). Not into this thing myself but find it hilarious these dudes are running around in latex dog suits. Definitely :sick:
 
BK38 said:
Lol, right? I just think it's so strange and pretty messed up. I was trying to come up with the most ridiculous book blurb I could and decided on this thing (this thread game said to add a pic). Not into this thing myself but find it hilarious these dudes are running around in latex dog suits. Definitely :sick:
Click to expand...
:ROFLMAO: well think you got it right..

that's a good boy, now sit.. :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 
Actually Puppy Play in the Age of TikTok is such a good idea it really OUGHT to be written!

Can I collaborate with you BK?

An amusing coincidence: the other day I posted a video on TikTok called "Poverty in the Age of TikTok...
 
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