Man, you're young as fuck and your drug habits are equally young.
It takes a while to develop a proper soul crushing withdrawal and within limits it's possible to resist very minor ones with grit, mindset, and innate natural tolerance to an artificially turbulent landscape of mind. I'm disappointed because I was hoping you were gonna share will us something that made you an actual mutant. Guess I'll have to hold out a bit longer for that... It seems definitely within the realm of human variances for someone to be born with an obscenely high natural tolerance to the process of developing tolerance to mood altering drugs... There have been some studies done on the various neurotransmitter systems and innate neurological resilience - the one I remember is the serotonin system, they divided the study into 3 genetic variants, and excuse me utterly butchering the interesting point but there was the group with a markedly fragile serotonin system, a group somewhat middle of the road, and a group with a highly resilient neurology that seemed not only unaffected by environmental stress but actually responded by growing stronger.
They followed these people for a significant portion of their lives, I believe, and recorded difficult incidences and stressors throughout.
Almost invariably, those with more fragile serotoninergic neurons were more prone to depression, had more trouble forming stable relationships, engaged in less outgoing or daring activities, had smaller social circles and just did less. A traumatic life even for the subjects of this study was basically game over, they really struggled to get over it, withdrew even more, and were affected for the duration of the study at least (which, again, was several years).
In contrast, those with more rapid adaptive neurogenesis (but in the right direction) and restructuring in response to trauma reacted entirely differently. Almost all of them ended up fairly high achievers from the off. A few of them had setbacks, job losses, death of a sibling or partner (or parent) and while they did experience low moods - these people aren't psychopaths - their approach to dealing with this trauma could not have been more different.
I'll have to find the actual paper at some point, I remember it was fascinating stuff although I might be butchering some of the fine details. What's most interesting to me is the sheer predictability - after the fact - of the courses that people's lives would take - as well as the fact that the differences were
so pronounced. IIRC, there were NO outliers. And that's just a single neurotransmitter - albeit an important one. Granted, for ethical reasons this was an "observational study" which doesn't give it the same credence as a double blind with controls and all that... but, hard to read it and not be somewhat taken aback by how predictable as humans we really are... how much we are bound to the wheel of fate from before we are even born, despite the convincing, and, admittedly, somewhat useful and well meaning illusion that anyone can achieve anything if
