I'm Sorry

[Painful One]

Does anyone know if kratom can eliminate pain even while on methadone

Kratom helps me for pain when I am without Morphine.
It is pretty powerful.
I was surprised at the pain relief factor.

 

[PtahTek]

My own Mother ...
That is a whole other can of fucking worms,...

Wondered all night if this would be a common denominator amongst "us": Issues with family and in particular our moms. My bet is that the vast majority are distant.
My parents tried to get me to follow them (certainly common) but there was too much hatred, bias and prejudicial baggage. Just couldn't and refused to carry it. Bounced in my early teens and been "missing" the whole of my existence, pretty much. Not much missed, I gotta tell ya as no-one ever cared to actively "find" me.... All is well as I morphed into some-one I can look in the eyes every day and am free of binds that would have without doubt had me in in a much worse situation.
I may be a let down for some... yet to others I seem to be a bastion of strength that helps weather the storms that life can hit us with. Whatever the case, I would disagree with what my moms said when I was but a wee lad: You will never amount to anything. Hahaha If they could see me now.
Oh, yeah, wife is cool with the $ transfer as she knows what I get from BL and knows what I was before BL. She may love ya'll MFs more than I do, if possible. I let her know just to see her reaction as I ain't ascared and am always watching others reposes to my actions... it is a tell.
Love!

 

[Painful One]

I'm feeling so sad because I also want to help but I cannot.

Because of the Covid-Lockdown I have not earned a single cent since more than 8 weeks and I couldn't even pay my rent - and in addition, this shitty practice owner kicked me out because of ( really nothing) the practice so I'm standing here and want to help you, too, Keif', but I cannot.

I hate it so much because I cannot even donate 10 Euros!!! Normally that's not a fucking problem!!!

Is there anything else you need, anything in my posession that I could send to you instead of money? Please feel free to ask IF I'm having this or that I could give you. You can always PM me.

I hate myself and I'm ashamed because you helped so many hundreds of people, me included, and I can't do NOTHING!!!


JJ

awwwww...I loved this post.

You are great JJ.
offering anything in your possession.
I sure hope things work out for you and I know they will by some kindness which you showed.
It was extraordinary.

I am so proud of the quality of people here.

you know guys, we are really some of the best people in this world.
We know pain and hardship and we have overcome.
Time and time again, we have overcome!
we are wise. We are real. We are solid.
Good souls.

I Love you all so much!!
Be Well Everyone.
Hugs.

 

[JoEhJoEh]

Thank you

 

[LadyAlkaline]

Wondered all night if this would be a common denominator amongst "us": Issues with family and in particular our moms. My bet is that the vast majority are distant.
My parents tried to get me to follow them (certainly common) but there was too much hatred, bias and prejudicial baggage. Just couldn't and refused to carry it. Bounced in my early teens and been "missing" the whole of my existence, pretty much. Not much missed, I gotta tell ya as no-one ever cared to actively "find" me.... All is well as I morphed into some-one I can look in the eyes every day and am free of binds that would have without doubt had me in in a much worse situation.
I may be a let down for some... yet to others I seem to be a bastion of strength that helps weather the storms that life can hit us with. Whatever the case, I would disagree with what my moms said when I was but a wee lad: You will never amount to anything. Hahaha If they could see me now.
Oh, yeah, wife is cool with the $ transfer as she knows what I get from BL and knows what I was before BL. She may love ya'll MFs more than I do, if possible. I let her know just to see her reaction as I ain't ascared and am always watching others reposes to my actions... it is a tell.
Love!

My mother was an alcoholic that only loved her children that had a penis. Severe daddy issues. She hated my sister and I. We were starved for affection and guidance. She was either yelling at us or completely mentally checked out. She used to make me fast when I was 8 because I was about 20 pounds overweight. The doctor said my thyroid was okay but he didn't know I was insulin resistant and had PCOS, he told her I was eating too much. The constant flow of sugared Kool aid, hamburger helper and junk food with a lack of fresh vegetables and fruits definitely didn't help any.

Fuck shitty moms.

 

[Painful One]

Sorry to hear that @LadyAlkaline .
I can relate to the mentally checked out part. For sure.
No guidance.
A lot of stuff I could say.

But..my mom really turned out to be super cool.
She was there for me when I really needed her and I was shocked.
She stood up for me and helped me out.

In return, I have helped her out.
We have worked together and she has become so cool.
I have helped her along.
we help one another.

I am surprised by how great she has become!

You never know.
Don’t give up on your moms.
Family needs each other.

If your family totally sucks however...
You got us.
We are family here.

 

[nznity]

We are all broken in some way or another, thats why we empathize with each other. This place has helped me AND keeps helping me so much More than 3 stints in rehab. Rehab didn't do shit for me, i just made More connections to get high there. You guys AND girls are amazing, keep it up. I send a big hug to errrone

 

[Shady's Fox]

We are all broken in some way or another, thats why we empathize with each other. This place has helped me AND keeps helping me so much More than 3 stints in rehab. Rehab didn't do shit for me, i just made More connections to get high there. You guys AND girls are amazing, keep it up. I send a big hug to errrone

What matters it's that we understand eachother. One love everyone, keep up the good work.

 

[LadyAlkaline]

oops wrong thread

 

[JoEhJoEh]

I was breaking up with my family when I was about 30 years old. It was because of my fathers extremely, I mean EXTREMLY addiction to alcohol, and fucking shit, I couldnt even bear anymore to see this slow suicide. I don't know who he was, we never really talked to each other besides I did anything that he didn't like, then he was yelling at me and I was yelling at him. I have never been yelling at somebody before and afterwards. I never ever saw him sober. Even during the night he stood up, exed 3 or 4 beers, smoked 5 cigs and went to bed again. From 13 on I tried with any method to get him to therapy, to TRY an least. NOPE. Until his left day (the first time I saw him sober) he said his life long he does not drink.

Thankfully, he was not an agressive one. He did not harm my brother, my mother and me in a physical way which ihad preferred. Anytime I totally broke up and for 4 or 5 years didnt talk to them or visited them.

He is dead, died with 61, and Im so glad he is not here anymore. My mother is a totally different woman, she looks so good, wears nice looking clothes and is just calm and relaxed. She does her workout (1,5h) everyday and is always around with friends or her sisters and brothers. She feels a big reliefe,too.

And slowly, we start to get to see each other more often, we are talking, laughing, cooking together.

But the BEST was, when my heart got up was a simple sentence I did not hear my whole live long. Nor my father neither my mother were ever telling us they like us, they love us or whatever.

On christmas last year she stood there when I come home from Austria, and toldme with tears in her eyes: "I'm so happy you are visiting me for a few days."

I never heard this ore ANYTHING similar my whole life long and i stood there and couldn't say anything but i was soo happy.



Why am I telling you this??? WTF.

JJ

 

[PtahTek]

i fuckin love you LA
real people

 

[LadyAlkaline]

i fuckin love you LA
real people

I love you too you're my fam

 

[LadyAlkaline]

I was breaking up with my family when I was about 30 years old. It was because of my fathers extremely, I mean EXTREMLY addiction to alcohol, and fucking shit, I couldnt even bear anymore to see this slow suicide. I don't know who he was, we never really talked to each other besides I did anything that he didn't like, then he was yelling at me and I was yelling at him. I have never been yelling at somebody before and afterwards. I never ever saw him sober. Even during the night he stood up, exed 3 or 4 beers, smoked 5 cigs and went to bed again. From 13 on I tried with any method to get him to therapy, to TRY an least. NOPE. Until his left day (the first time I saw him sober) he said his life long he does not drink.

Thankfully, he was not an agressive one. He did not harm my brother, my mother and me in a physical way which ihad preferred. Anytime I totally broke up and for 4 or 5 years didnt talk to them or visited them.

He is dead, died with 61, and Im so glad he is not here anymore. My mother is a totally different woman, she looks so good, wears nice looking clothes and is just calm and relaxed. She does her workout (1,5h) everyday and is always around with friends or her sisters and brothers. She feels a big reliefe,too.

And slowly, we start to get to see each other more often, we are talking, laughing, cooking together.

But the BEST was, when my heart got up was a simple sentence I did not hear my whole live long. Nor my father neither my mother were ever telling us they like us, they love us or whatever.

On christmas last year she stood there when I come home from Austria, and toldme with tears in her eyes: "I'm so happy you are visiting me for a few days."

I never heard this ore ANYTHING similar my whole life long and i stood there and couldn't say anything but i was soo happy.



Why am I telling you this??? WTF.

JJ

Cause we are your family ❤

 

[Hylight]

He seems to pop by once or twice a day

THANK YOU ! BLESS YOU SO MUCH.
why is it the amazing that suffer way too often and much ❤ ! !

 

[Hylight]

 

[JackARoe]

Ok I see Keif posting and I just wanted to say that did make me feel better. Too often people end up in the Shrine too quick so when I see the opposite that makes me SEE the Love.

"Just as oil is present in every part of the olive, so Love permeates every part of creation" ~Paramahansa Yogananda

I know society came up with that sarcastic statement some years back saying "I am just not feeling the Love". We that is exactly it we we get down at home, jobs, and anything else. My company used the corona virus as an excuse to take 10% of employees pay till the end of the year. People were upset. They were not feeling the love. Love comes in a lot of forms but does permeates all of our lives. It drives EVERYTHING we do. The house we buy, our hobbies (cause we love them) our spouses or SI's. Our children. Ou pets. It is all around. So when I see it here it reminds me of that. It came out in a visible way here.

Anyway I used your thread to babble. I hope everyone is feeling better.

 

[JoEhJoEh]

you know guys, we are really some of the best people in this world.
We know pain and hardship and we have overcome.
Time and time again, we have overcome!
we are wise. We are real. We are solid.
Good souls.

I Love you all so much!!
Be Well Everyone.
Hugs.

In another thread I already mentioned that i will stay here at BL as long as I can, because here are the really fucked up people ( don't get me wrong please, i mean something different : here are the long term addicts who struggle with their lifes and less very young people like in other forums. I guess this makes a big difference. Also , with the years you normallyknow what respect is, or social intelligence.

I like Bluelight very much

JJ

 

[Keif' Richards]

Hi everybody! Family! Cell! Platonic Life-Mates!

As you can all see, Ive been around and present in the forums, but I really thought another personal message was definitely warranted.

Ive read through all of these posts and it still amazes me to this moment how much good-vibery and love there is kicking around here. I love you guys.

Ive managed to get myselr back to semi-normalcy, thanks to you guys, but Im still kind of worn out by this whole thing, mentally and physically. My point is though, each day is better than the last. Im sleeping, eating and actually enjoying reality.

I appreciate all of the donations. It was literally a life-changing moment. The best part is, Im good now and I have security for a while. It is really more than anybody could ask for in my position.

You all came to my rescue. No bullshit, you have changed my point of view regarding life. Youve made me feel feelings. It is just amazing.

I have love for all you guys. Those who donated, those who supported me otherwise and the community. It made me feel so good to know my ostensibly unrequited love for a lot of you guys was actually quite requited. Take that shakespeare.

Thanks BL family. We can be like the Mansom family, except we will break into people's homes and leave personalized letters of encouragment and stuffed animals, like dolphins for instance. Thoughts?

 

[Hylight]

. No bullshit,

 

[PtahTek]

Im still kind of worn out by this whole thing, mentally and physically.

I bet. It just helps the embers glow a bit brighter when I see you have posted here or there; no matter the content, just seeing that avatar on the "whats new" page is encouraging. Nothing is required or asked except that you heal and recover. That is it. Please take a the time needed to do so... please. Seems your cup was on empty or there about, drink your fill before passing the libation on again. We love you also care for your well-being. Rest, man. You will be needed as those who are lost seek a light for guidance and yours brightly illuminates a way.
Brother take your time and heal a bit. We all *feel your presence and no doubt loving life a little more than yesterday; I know I am.

We can be like the Mansom family, except we will break into people's homes and leave personalized letters of encouragment and stuffed animals, like dolphins for instance.

Can we leave weed-cookies? I do not know what it is but it just seems to me that an edible weed product would be a death sentence. Like, if you eat a wood brownie, the munchies would come get ya and make ya eat another... then it's double (or quadruple? ) munchies knockin'. Then four brownies; eight; sixteen etc. See where I am going with this?

Weed brownies and a camera to catch the explosiveness. Hahahhaa HR... pssst....

My bad.

... you have changed my point of view regarding life.

Yeah: BL, you and a slew of other mfs here change my views on life and is having a major impact on our lives irl (mine, SO by proxy and unto the world at large). Good work.
Thanks again