That’s the cruelest part of getting older. When you’re a kid, you want to fuck every pretty person you see, but you can’t, because you’re too young. Then when you get through your teenage years, you can fuck all the adults you want. This goes on for years; everyone is attractive and you are attractive and it’s fuck city. Then before you know it, everyone is still attractive and ready to fuck, and then they look at you and say, “ew you’re old.”
That’s why, when I (and others) get older and fatter, the more attracted I am to older and fatter people. This lasts for a while and still people are fat and old and everyone is attractive now. That is when you finally sit down on the bench. Still, everyone is attractive to you, and someone says, “can I help you back to the home grandpa?” That is when you die.
This is how life goes, if you end up living that long.
—Wizard
