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Can you be a well adjusted person and not masturbate or have sex?

C

cowardescent

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 29, 2017
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There's a belief amongst many people in society that those who don't engage in sexual activity of any kind are suffering from low self esteem, depression or have a physical problem that prevents them from having sex. I'm wondering, is it possible to both not masturbate or have sex and still be let's say a celebrity earning lots of money and not someone living in your parents basement?
 
I have never heard of that being a common belief.

My uncle is a confirmed bachelor, and i don't know how often he masturbates, nor do i care, but he expressed that he doesn't have sex. He's extremely successful.

Then you have me, who would often times prefer my connection to my hand over connection with people. I'm not swimming in money, but i could be if i kept on the trajectory i had after i graduated college and didn't get into drugs and alcohol.

And i'm sure there are people who both don't masturbate or have sex, living perfectly normal lives.

Why would not getting off mean low self esteem? I'm curious?
 
I just spoke for a Freudian psychological perspective because it is best how I understand my BEAST/SEX/RAGE inner self.

I'm certainly not trying to say everyone's going to be the same.

Some people have remarkably low desire in sex. I think most people would "want it" if they felt it was a fulfilling part of their lives. I know that's how I feel about it.

Your mileage may vary and I think if you find something that makes you happy in life that it certainly doesn't have to be sexual. You can have a family without having sex. You can have a great career, a great job, great success, great times with friends without actual sex.

There are sexual contexts/overtones to situations in life though and most of us may be numb/mute to them. But they exist and are there.
 
If i had an endless supply of oxy/morphine/heroin i could care less about my Dick. Now from a realistic pov, fuck no.
 
There are definitely stereotypes especially around men always being horny 24/7 and how there's something wrong with them if they don't want sex. Something that stuck in my head is at uni there was this big girl tryna force herself on me when I was drunk and kept telling her to get off. I eventually got her away from me and locked my door which she spent a good 30 minutes banging on before giving up. Next morning my flatmates (male and female) asked me why I didn't just bang her. Imagine if the genders were reversed in that situation, ridiculous.

Anyway, attempted rape aside...

I'm curious OP have you always been like this, even when you're 100% sober, and are you otherwise healthy mentally and physically? If so you could be one of those rare asexual people.

If you're happy like that and it doesn't disrupt other parts of your life I wouldn't worry too much. If you are concerned you can speak to a doctor to see if it is actually something physical like testosterone or whatever. Can't really make a diagnosis through the internet. But usually that kind of thing happens gradually as you get older, so if that's how you've always been, it could just be how you are.
 
Wilson Wilson said:
There are definitely stereotypes especially around men always being horny 24/7 and how there's something wrong with them if they don't want sex. Something that stuck in my head is at uni there was this big girl tryna force herself on me when I was drunk and kept telling her to get off. I eventually got her away from me and locked my door which she spent a good 30 minutes banging on before giving up. Next morning my flatmates (male and female) asked me why I didn't just bang her. Imagine if the genders were reversed in that situation, ridiculous.

Anyway, attempted rape aside...

I'm curious OP have you always been like this, even when you're 100% sober, and are you otherwise healthy mentally and physically? If so you could be one of those rare asexual people.

If you're happy like that and it doesn't disrupt other parts of your life I wouldn't worry too much. If you are concerned you can speak to a doctor to see if it is actually something physical like testosterone or whatever. Can't really make a diagnosis through the internet. But usually that kind of thing happens gradually as you get older, so if that's how you've always been, it could just be how you are.
Click to expand...

It's interesting what you say about men always wanting sex. That narrative is pervasive in student,teacher relationships where the teacher is female and student is male. People always ask "where were these teachers when I was a kid", but when it's a female student and male teacher, the tone is very different.

In regards to me masturbating, I began at 18 funnily enough. I simply didn't know how to and it was only because I used a woman's shoe to masturbate (I have a foot fetish).

I'm not really interest in sex though to be honest as I find it a burden.
 
cowardescent said:
It's interesting what you say about men always wanting sex. That narrative is pervasive in student,teacher relationships where the teacher is female and student is male. People always ask "where were these teachers when I was a kid", but when it's a female student and male teacher, the tone is very different.

In regards to me masturbating, I began at 18 funnily enough. I simply didn't know how to and it was only because I used a woman's shoe to masturbate (I have a foot fetish).

I'm not really interest in sex though to be honest as I find it a burden.
Click to expand...

Yes very true. Plenty of double standards to go around. Age gaps is another one, if the guy is younger he's a boy toy, if the woman is younger she is getting taken advantage of. Basically the inherent assumption in all this is men are predators and women are innocent angels. It's an extension of the women are wonderful effect. But it backfires on women too, like if a woman is very sexual she's likely to get some hate because she's not playing up to the innocent stereotype.

Anyways, sounds like you've never had much of an interest in sex right from the start, so yeah if it's not bothering you there's not much reason to worry about it tbh.
 
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