I’ve abused hard stumulants to great excess, I’ve been on various prescribed anti-psychotics for 8 years (not Invega) and I write - including speeches - for a (pretty good) living. I need breaks from hard stim drugs to write properly but I need low doses of prescribed stims to write at all. One decent shot of meth effective prevents me from doing any intellectual work for about 5 days. First there is the high - where I’d rather be jerking off or doing something else - then the low, when I’m too distracted or sedated or sad to be creative. Therefere I have a need to be planful and balanced in deciding when to be high and when to use my mind productively and achieve my goals. For what it’s worth, I guess I’m about twice
@Isnortice91 ’s age and have been takings stims since before ‘91 and have some military service and experience with the legal system to do with drugs. I have no answers but a few ideas and suggestions
While I am impressed by the breadth of
@Isnortice91 ’s intellectual interests and obvious ambition I would suggest that a different life/drug/legal/medical strategy will betgter help him realise his ambitions and not get towed under by his obvious love of ice (which is declared all over Bluelight and which I totally sympoathise with since I love it too).
The combined compulsory court/legal/medical web that he is caught it probably does not have his best interests at heart. Their role is to identify potential social threats and remove them one way or the other. A young man with a nazi fetish, alleged crimes of violence, and high-level polydrug use would be perceived as a pretty significant social threat and exactly the kind of thing the system is designed to take down.
However you cannot fight the system. What you can do is change the way the system perceives you in the hope that it leaves you alone.
The medical world has a lot to offer - I learned how to take drugs sensibly and without destroying my life mainly through getting good psychological treatment and a good relationship with my psychiatrist which means that I have a useful safety net if things ever get out of control - as they inevitably do. I also get choices in the drugs I am prescribed - and have been able to work out the best ones over time - because well, actually I own up to having psychiatric issues.
The trick is to have private doctors - not court ordered ones.
If I was in this situation I would start playing a long game that went sometthing like:
1. Total compliance with court orders (short term tactic)
2. Doing a stinty in rehab and getting 100 % clean for a rest/break and a fresh look at myself to double check my life choices are all as great as I think they are
3. Getting a private psychiatrist with whom I was fairly honest though I would talk about drug use in past tense as courts can access his records
4. Getting a private psychologist and learning about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Mindfullness to help manage my moods and anxieties (especially through stim comedowns these techniques are very helpful when combined with benzoz and salvation when you have no benzos)
5. Approach the court again saying that points 2,3 & 4 have opened your eyes and you are committed to change - develop a story about modest future life goals not involving Ukrainian military but possibly involving helping the less fortunate closer to home
6. Never talking enthusiastically about Nazis, guns, war, nationalism or other such things in a legal or medical context (stick to anon on 4Chan or wherever)
7. Getting totally clean from evertything for at least a month or two every year to check in with your life choices and make sure you are on track
8. From clean add new drugs to your life only one at a time to guage what changes they cause in your life. Remember polydrug use complicates effects.
9. Wind back the fetish porn posting in BL main forums (this not strictly necessary, more my personal request).
Whatever happens, all the best in getting what you want you out of life and getting the freedom everybody deserves but not everybody values enough.
Shalom bro - we are not all out to get you or take over the world
is the greatest country in the world.
