@Le Junk I recall exactly what you are saying. I even have old photos that I took of myself while rolling showing the pupils dilated to the outer edge. Last night I took a photo as well, and I can try to zoom in and crop it so I can show the amount of eye dilation I had last night. Never to the full edge of the pupil, but definitely noticeable.
For me though, in what has been a barren wasteland of product, seeing any eye dilation at all is a step in the right direction. In your experience, would a very low dose of MDMA still produce the dilation to the outer edge?
@AutoTripper I was pretty devoted to chronicling my drug use and experiences. I had an 8mm camera. There are loads of tapes. You are absolutely right, the people rolling in those old videos are obviously WIRED. The way their jaw is set is totally different, their eyes are HUGE. There used to be concern about going out in public while rolling because of how fucked up you looked. That is not something I have seen in a decade at least, on anyone's face, even a new user.
What I currently suspect is that the crystal I have is infused with something to make the crystals bigger. I would guess that it is maybe 60% product. Of that 60%...how much is MDMA? I still have enough left to send it off to Energy Control and try to get an answer to that part of the question.
For now, here is my report:
Ate lunch at 3 pm, followed by some cake later on.
10:00 pm - Took 155 mg in a vegetarian capsule.
10:30 pm - hopped in the shower
During the shower, I came up pretty hard. Water started to feel really good, and I felt like I needed to sit down at several points. I had some Vicks and that was an amazing throwback. By the time I got out of the shower at 10:45 pm, I was feeling really good.
10:48 pm - I began to notice significant eye dilation in the mirror.
11:30 pm - I wanted to do the re-dose at the right time, so this is when I took 88 mg. Not really because I felt like I needed it, but because I did not want to wait too long.
From 11:30 pm until 1:15 am I was hanging out on the couch, snuggling with my partner, listening to music, and talking. More pro-social feelings and connection than I have had in a long time. I was having a lot of positive feelings and thoughts about other people, and felt very open to my partner.
At 12:15 am I checked my pupils again and they were quite large. Hard to define exactly how much color was around the edge, but it was a relatively small amount.
At 1:15 am, my partner and I were going to move into the sex phase of the evening and I took another 82 mg. For me, the second re-dose is needed for the sexual phase of the evening.
Sidenote: my partner no longer does MDMA. He had what may have been a long term comedown back around 2010, as well as numerous health issues (auto immune, allergies digestive etc). So, he sticks to mushrooms/alcohol now. He tried the MehDMA once back in 2017 and was so underwhelmed. He told me in no uncertain terms that it was NOT MDMA and he did not know why I had kept doing it. That was kind of my wakeup call, because after a super lengthy break, he should not have had the same tolerance as me. That was when I really internalized that something was WAY not right with my product.
Around 2 am, I felt like I was coming down a bit, which is weird with that 1:15 am re-dose. By 3:15, I definitely felt more normalized and sober (although there were residual effects). Partner and I continued to have sex off an on until after 5, and when I was having a snack at 5:30 I still felt some residual effects. Went to sleep with no issue. Feel fine today, and have a bit of that pleasant afterglow feeling.
Score
Euphoria: 5
Empathy: 5
Energy: 2
Eye Wiggles: 1
Pupil Dilation: 6
Jaw Clenching: 1
Body High: 5
Sexuality: 4
Overall - 6
Someone commented on here awhile back that it was unlikely that there was a massive problem with MDMA and we are the only people who are onto it or talking about it. But, I think that is deceptive. We are not the only people talking about it. I know that among my group of friends, everyone has commented on it. But, nobody is motivated enough to go searching for answers online. I would guess it is the same with many long-term users. For those who are still using MDMA now, who also used it in the 90s/2000s, most people probably write it off as tolerance. When you think about it, the whole concept of "losing the magic" is a perfect cover for any unscrupulous manufacturers who want to sell shit product. People who know better will shrug it off, and people who don't know better will think it is the real deal because they never had anything else.