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Why won’t my boyfriend go down on me?

M

MadameUnicorn123

Greenlighter
Joined
May 19, 2019
Messages
2
We’ve been dating for almost 2 years, and he’s gone down on me maybe 5 or 6 times. I enjoy giving oral so I go down on him quite often, and sometimes after sex he’ll rub my clit and finger me a little because I’m always wound up and ready to go even after we just had sex but like I can’t get off to the rubbing and fingering because I could just do that myself. He’s always said he’ll go down on me if I shower first, but even if I’ve had a shower like a couple hours before he won’t do it he says that theres sweat and it gets dirty but like if I just had a shower a couple hours ago and the only thing I’ve done is drive over to his house then I still don’t see how it would get sweaty and dirty in that small amount of time? I dont know how to bring this up to him but I feel like the oral is very one sided and I don’t want to ask him to do it just to be shot down and the times he has gone down on me he didn’t do it for long before just fingering me and like I said before that just doesn’t do it for me. So like what should I do?
 
Hello. I have zero sexual experience minus some extraodinarily early introductions at a very young age, before I even learnt about the "birds and the bees".

I grew up as an unusual character, a deep deep spiritual person (male). I have always been a romantic at heart and believe in true love, soul mates, and destiny.

I was never right within myself to find or even look for love and when I was 25 I developed lyme disease from a tick bite and long-term illness has dominated and build my life ever since making any type of courting, relationship or sexual activity impossible.

So I really should not even try to advise you here but it seems very clear to me that your boyfriend just does not feel comfortable about this activity and he really would like to avoid it entirely if possible.

However I can certainly empathize with how you must be feeling and how this will affect your emotions especially not feeling as though you can confront the issue as openly and freely as you would like.

I mean, I dont think you can really do very much to change how he feels if my hunch is correct and I'm sure it is. I really would definitely like to encourage you however to try not to take this at all personally because I feel strongly that that would be a mistake I don't think this is personal I just don't think this is something your boyfriend will be comfortable doing with anybody.

He has made excuses so far which I'm not saying are not legitimate and valid but he has still avoided the issue in my mind by not being more open with you and admitting that he just is not comfortable doing this.

So if you are going to discuss this with him I think your conversation needs to be as open as possible on both sides and share total truth so that at least you can both know exactly where you are and stand on this and can hopefully get a little closer by understanding and empathising with each other's feelings on the matter.

Wishing you all the best and at most happiness in life.
 
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Because he's weird ;) :LOL:

Going down on a woman is my most favourite sex act, especially if she comes in my face. :p

Have you tried depilation? No one likes a mouth full of pubes - perhaps that's what's putting him off. Why not surprise him with a freshly bald cunt - if he doesn't go down on you then, he's obviously fuckin gay...
 
ye indeed not only gay but stupid af, you are sexually incompatible, maybe a proper educated discussion would solve this issue, tell him that sometimes it's okay to be friends or even forget about him which's more a benefit option. He doesn't want to offer you any kind of satisfaction, jump the ship.

You lil kitty should also know that relationships aren't playground shits and be oriented to mature grown-ups people who know what they want and how to communicate it.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Because he's weird ;) :LOL:

Going down on a woman is my most favourite sex act, especially if she comes in my face. :p

Have you tried depilation? No one likes a mouth full of pubes - perhaps that's what's putting him off. Why not surprise him with a freshly bald cunt - if he doesn't go down on you then, he's obviously fuckin gay...
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I shave in the summer and trim regularly in the winter so I don’t think hair is the problem lol but he isn’t gay Ik that for sure
Shady's Fox said:
ye indeed not only gay but stupid af, you are sexually incompatible, maybe a proper educated discussion would solve this issue, tell him that sometimes it's okay to be friends or even forget about him which's more a benefit option. He doesn't want to offer you any kind of satisfaction, jump the ship.

You lil kitty should also know that relationships aren't playground shits and be oriented to mature grown-ups people who know what they want and how to communicate it.
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it’s not that he doesn’t want to satisfy me, he does that in other ways like we have toys and just the sex itself, but like you know a girl sometimes just wants to get licked up like some ice cream lol
 
Incompatability pretty much sums it up for me.
if i am with someone compatible i can eat that pussy all day... if not; forget about it.
 
what a wuss imho.. my partner is all natural down there but I'll go down anytime ttytt
 
Unicorn -

It sounds like it is a compatibility issue as as a few other posters said. My guess is it just isn’t something he enjoys - which means you probably don’t want him doing it anyway. My SO isn’t in to it - but that works for us cause I’m not either. I don’t mind giving oral, but I don’t particularly enjoy getting it.

If it is something you enjoy, you may want to look for another partner. Not matter what you will need to decide if it is a “deal breaker” as they say. Is it something you can live with or is it something you need to be sexually satisfied.

Just a general word of advice, I think that any man who knows what the fuck he is doing will get the woman off before sex (or at least before the man climaxes). Men are generally useless after they ejaculate and that isn’t always the best time to get back into it for them. This dude needs to know his limitations and deal with that up front (in my opinion). Have you considered laying down that option? It would SUCK if my partner had sex with me and then that was it...

Another bit of advice, since you are at an advice forum (at least I think this is?), is to have a conversation with him about this. Just come right out and ask him if it’s maybe not his thing.

Best of luck, you deserve to be with someone compatible.

- VE
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
Some people just don't like giving oral.
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^ This.
If he wanted to do it, he would.

It's definitely something you should discuss with him straight up. 5-6 times in 2 years means he isn't into it.. that's obvious. I would ask him and move on and accept his choice. You can't force him..

I would also recommend maybe showering together? Get eachother soaped up and do it in the shower.. if he objects to that, you have your answer...
 
I personally have an aversion to eat pussy unless it's literally fresh out of the shower. I guess it doesn't take long to get a bit sweaty down there. I'm no hypocrite though, I only ask for oral from my wife if I too am fresh out of the shower, like, within the past 30 minutes.

So maybe just try showering together, and then trading oral shortly after the shower foreplay?
 
Stop giving him head as well. You cannot expect a relationship to be one-sided. It won't last like that. It's little things like these that build up.
 
Cos he's a total homo. Sorry, joke. But if you like getting oral and he doesn't like giving it, you're not sexually compatible.
I personally LOVE licking pussy!
 
I suppose like some women don't like giving head, some men don't. I think it's just weird tho!
 
Evidence:

"he’ll go down on me if I shower first"
"he says that there's sweat and it gets dirty"
"I feel like the oral is very one sided"

Conclusions:

- he's a twat
- he has hygiene issues (or doesn't understand that the pussy is a self-cleaning organ)
- he rates his satisfaction higher than yours

I'd fuckin' walk it if I were you.
 
frozenorange said:
Evidence:

"he’ll go down on me if I shower first"
"he says that there's sweat and it gets dirty"
"I feel like the oral is very one sided"

Conclusions:

- he's a twat
- he has hygiene issues (or doesn't understand that the pussy is a self-cleaning organ)
- he rates his satisfaction higher than yours

I'd fuckin' walk it if I were you.
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This post has fuckin nailed it... :D
 
How old is he? It's common with men my age that we won't go down there. These kids talk about eating ass and all sorts of things that were considered unmanly when I was coming of age. I mean, we all knew people did it but no one talked about it among the guys. I personally have never given head but I've received it from just about every woman I've been with without having to ask for it. I've never been asked to go down there but the answer would probably be no unless we'd been together a long time and I knew it was clean/no one else had recently been in it.
 
HeadphonesandLSD said:
How old is he? It's common with men my age that we won't go down there. These kids talk about eating ass and all sorts of things that were considered unmanly when I was coming of age. I mean, we all knew people did it but no one talked about it among the guys. I personally have never given head but I've received it from just about every woman I've been with without having to ask for it. I've never been asked to go down there but the answer would probably be no unless we'd been together a long time and I knew it was clean/no one else had recently been in it.
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I've been into cunnilingus since I was 17
 
HeadphonesandLSD said:
How old is he? It's common with men my age that we won't go down there. These kids talk about eating ass and all sorts of things that were considered unmanly when I was coming of age. I mean, we all knew people did it but no one talked about it among the guys. I personally have never given head but I've received it from just about every woman I've been with without having to ask for it. I've never been asked to go down there but the answer would probably be no unless we'd been together a long time and I knew it was clean/no one else had recently been in it.
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There is absolutely nothing more manly than eating ass.

Cleanliness is certainly something of a requirement- I don't know many women who like sucking a sweaty or smelly cock so it goes both ways. My only issue is that I don't like being totally stifled but my missus sorta does. ?
 
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