NEED HELP: Paradoxical Response to Benzos

I have been struggling with MDD and panic disorder for essentially half of my life. The onset was when I was 18 years of age and I am now 39 years old. My PDoc has tested out numerous medications, but they have been to no avail or ?poop out? fast. My PDoc recently suspected that I am on the spectrum for BiPolar Disorder because they only way I am able to tolerate SSRI?s is when I am on a mood stabilizer, otherwise I experience a mixed state. I am presently on Citalopram 15mg, and Lamictal 150mg (2x/ daily), which has stabilized the depression and helped with cognition and concentration, but the anxiety has persisted, so my therapist is stumped on what to prescribe next. She has prescribed three different benzo?s in the past and they made me more agitated and anxious (Klonopin, Ativan, Restoril), so I had a paradoxical response to those as well. I don?t sleep because my heart is palpitating constantly and I get tension headaches from the anxiety. She has prescribed every sleep medication under the sun, including Doxepin, so the anxiety won?t disrupt my sleep, but they have no afffect, even at high doses. The only thing that ever worked to alleviate the anxiety is Chloral Hydrate, but it is no longer available in the US. I am dealing with a lot of stressors right now, so I feel hopeless and am in despair: single parent of a child with ADHD, taking care of a father with Alzheimer?s, running a family
business . Is there an alternate Benzo I could try or another medication that might be effective?

Thank you!

 

I have been struggling with MDD and panic disorder for essentially half of my life. The onset was when I was 18 years of age and I am now 39 years old. My PDoc has tested out numerous medications, but they have been to no avail or ?poop out? fast. My PDoc recently suspected that I am on the spectrum for BiPolar Disorder because they only way I am able to tolerate SSRI?s is when I am on a mood stabilizer, otherwise I experience a mixed state. I am presently on Citalopram 15mg, and Lamictal 150mg (2x/ daily), which has stabilized the depression and helped with cognition and concentration, but the anxiety has persisted, so my therapist is stumped on what to prescribe next. She has prescribed three different benzo?s in the past and they made me more agitated and anxious (Klonopin, Ativan, Restoril), so I had a paradoxical response to those as well. I don?t sleep because my heart is palpitating constantly and I get tension headaches from the anxiety. She has prescribed every sleep medication under the sun, including Doxepin, so the anxiety won?t disrupt my sleep, but they have no afffect, even at high doses. The only thing that ever worked to alleviate the anxiety is Chloral Hydrate, but it is no longer available in the US. I am dealing with a lot of stressors right now, so I feel hopeless and am in despair: single parent of a child with ADHD, taking care of a father with Alzheimer?s, running a family
business . Is there an alternate Benzo I could try or another medication that might be effective?

Thank you!

Have you considered going on a retreat to an Ayhuasca center in S. America?

One that starts with an “X” comes to mind, somehow.

Many pharmchems have a dependency hook built into them.

I’m a Manic Depressive, myself...

Lithium, for years.

I had to get away from all that stuff.

I still get buffeted by the waves, from time to time...

“But”.

Try some cathartic levels of psillies, maybe.

3.5 to 5 grams, and ride-out some of the anxiety issues.

Good to ween yourself off of too many engineered chemicals, in my opinion.

EAT RIGHT!

 

You’ve posted this as a blog entry, but will get more responses if you post your question over in Basic Drug Discussion: https://www.bluelight.org/xf/forums/basic-drug-discussion.16/

Hope you find some relief soon. Welcome to Bluelight