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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

SebastianSkip said:
Hi, Coast

I hope Effexor is a good medication for you and brings some relief. I?ve been struggling with motivation too but it?s slowly coming back to me just when I thought it might never. So, I hope you stay hopeful that you?ll get back to feeling like doing and caring about things because I think it?s something humans are meant to feel and we do return to, it?s in our nature.
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Hi, thank you! Ever since I took it yesterday, I've been feeling anxiety and depression free. The low dose of kratom combined with it helped to get rid of the drowsy side effects and give me clear focus.

I'm excited it's working so well already and this isn't just placebo. Full effects are usually in a month or so, but I read it's not impossible for an antidepressant to work right away. It's like my brain really needed it. My thoughts aren't dark and suicidal anymore. Looking forward to feeling even better as weeks go along.

What has been helping you to get your motivation back? Is it because of medication you're taking?
 
That's sounds difficult, Coast. Effexor was great for me the first time I was on it. Supposedly, it's great for anxiety disorders as well as for depression. At higher doses, perhaps 300 mg, it is more stimulating.

I really have had the same experience (antidepressants working very soon). I'm thankful for them. Lots of flack is sent the way of SSRIs/SNRIs, but they are first-line treatments for a reason!

I'm lucky to be taking some risky meds, in terms of abuse. But I never take more than prescribed. It's a privilege I built over several years of clean time. I consider it clean, yes, as I stay at the commanded dose.

Meds are great. It's hard to tell for laymen what the best meds are. For example, depression could cause great fatigue. Anxiety could cause insomnia. OCD could cause depression. What is the main, underlying cause? Go by what the doc says, giving your opinion in humble manner, and things generally turn out better!

Hope that you continue to feel good.

It really is a way of life, recovery, at least in the first few years. We have to build back our lives. It's difficult. The easy part is taking the meds. Afterwards, it can feel like we're moving in the dark, but if we persevere long enough, we will achieve what we want. A lot of it is tolerance to "pain". Guinea pig, I have been.

So I'm on a pharmacy of meds now. No one knows the future, but I working on recovering and becoming my best self, and the self that I want, in the future.
 
^ Yes, it's great you can stick to the same dose without overdoing it. I really wish I could, but it's not possible. So I have to stick to antidepressants I can't go overboard with. That means there is still going to be a tremendous struggle with building motivation on my own and dealing with ADHD. I can't "un-know" how easy everything felt on amphetamines. Sucks, but I digress.

Thank you for your kind words and keep doing well for yourself! ☺️
 
Ignorance to amphetamines is bliss but maybe we can look at it as unlocked potential. It is a lot easier to pop a couple and just coast through life, but it really isn't sustainable and learning techniques to build motivation and focus on one task at a time is not impossible. I know, i'd rather take steroids before the race, but what goes up must come down, and being able to achieve on your own gives one a certain sense of accomplishment that trumps easy road victories.

It's never out of reach.

Especially when you know your potential.
 
madness00 said:
Ignorance to amphetamines is bliss but maybe we can look at it as unlocked potential. It is a lot easier to pop a couple and just coast through life, but it really isn't sustainable and learning techniques to build motivation and focus on one task at a time is not impossible. I know, i'd rather take steroids before the race, but what goes up must come down, and being able to achieve on your own gives one a certain sense of accomplishment that trumps easy road victories.

It's never out of reach.

Especially when you know your potential.
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Well said! It's certainly not sustainable. It also distorts reality too much. Glad to be done with it.
 
I am lucky. Spent at least five years totally sober to take my meds that I take now. Not going to do anything to ruin that (!).

Yeah, amp is rally one of those things that if you abuse it once, you're about hooked, in my experience.
 
Yep. People who relapse on amphetamines tell themselves that they can control their dose this time. They take it and end up right back down the rabbit hole, on the verge of psychosis and death. I've been real with myself, that's how I've been sober from it closer to a year now. If you're honest about not being able to control it, it makes sobriety easier.
 
I feel like I'm perched on the edge of a spinning top that's just about to fall over. The world just feels like one big terrifying tilt-a-whirl right this minute, and boy does it suck.

I'm irritable, unhappy and unmotivated. I feel a lot more lousy and useless than I usually do. I wish I could find just a grain of passion or purpose. But the harder I try looking for it, the more it seems to elude me. I know it's just the melancholy and depression settling in for a week long spring vacation, and that they'll be gone shortly, but it makes the feelings of uselessness, anxiety and despair no less difficult to deal with.

Sobriety has been a bit of a drag. It's been so long since I used to just smoke weed and get lost in my thoughts, that I've forgotten how to kick back and relax. How was I so content with just that back then? I just feel so anxious to get things done during the day, and end up sad and flustered when I inevitably do less than I expect of myself. My focus is so scattered, and has been for so long now, that I don't know if I'm even capable of getting things done anymore. I guess most of all I wish I wouldn't feel so fantastically useless.

Just wanted to get that off my chest anyway. Hope everyone else is doing okay.
 
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Well, said. Hope you feel better!

It takes time, step by step. It can feel useless at times. I am no stranger to that: feeling like my life isn't going in any positive direction.

Keep on keepin on. Keep your goals in mind. You can recover!
 
Thanks, I'm certainly trying my best :).

Guess I just need to have some clear goals to work towards. I just wouldn't know where to start.
 
Well, how about starting with what you want to achieve. Your higher goals. Where you want to be, what you want to accomplish within the next few years (2-5). Then, we could work backward a bit to focus on medium-term and short-term goals that will help you reach those long-term goals.

You could start by just writing down all your goals. Then, proofread. Come back to the list again after a few days and edit the list. Or you could paste them here after a brainstorming section and I could work with it and give you some proactive feedback.

Maybe also write down a list of what seems to be blocking you from your road to greater health. It's always good to know what areas one can work on to be at a better place in the future. If one doesn't know these, that is sad. It may take a decent amount of time.

So free-hand or via document, just write down all of your goals in catharsis.

Then, do the same of things that you know are in the way of you achieving them.

Then, we will work with you on them. Looking forward to it!

If you want, you can PM me, too, if some of the information is sensitive.
 
I'm gonna try and draft some up tonight. I definitely think if I had something to aim towards, I'd be able to handle my feelings a lot better. Thanks for the suggestion and for the help!
 
Great! Yeah, working toward some goal is always good. Sometimes there can be pain to be tolerated along the way, though. Don't sell yourself short, the sky is the limit for those of us who really apply ourselves!

Looking forward to working with you further.
 
Had to leave work early today because I thought I might an anxiety attack...I'm a student teacher and I have to be in front of the classroom most of the day, and I was suddenly terrified that I was going to lose it in front of the kids. Not feeling great about it. Now I'm at home trying to do some work, but my head's a mess.

The icing on the cake is that my health insurance from my old job expired recently, and all of the replacement options are $400+ a month. I was hoping to get back into therapy some time soon, but the insurance issue has really bogged me down. Hoping I can get it sorted sometime soon =/
 
Bored to death - constantly thinking about suicide - trying to rebuild old friendships in the vain hope I'll learn to love life again.
 
sarcophagus.heels said:
Had to leave work early today because I thought I might an anxiety attack...I'm a student teacher and I have to be in front of the classroom most of the day, and I was suddenly terrified that I was going to lose it in front of the kids. Not feeling great about it. Now I'm at home trying to do some work, but my head's a mess.

The icing on the cake is that my health insurance from my old job expired recently, and all of the replacement options are $400+ a month. I was hoping to get back into therapy some time soon, but the insurance issue has really bogged me down. Hoping I can get it sorted sometime soon =/
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Yeah the insurance prices are insane. My health insurance is 550 a month for a silver plan. I couldn't do a bronze plan because of therapy and phychiatrists. I wish I had a solution for you but it seems the government doesn't give a fuck about young people.
 
Bella Figura said:
Bored to death - constantly thinking about suicide - trying to rebuild old friendships in the vain hope I'll learn to love life again.
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Boredom gets to me as well. Honestly one of the worst feelings. Finding something to live for and staying busy is the ticket, as you know.

Easier said than done, but props to you for taking the steps. We often know what to do but don't have the right motivations to do it.

Another thing I live for is new experiences. New feelings. New ways of life.
 
Hear hear, I've been depressed for as long as I can recall so the feeling isn't something I'm unfamiliar with. It's the anxiety that got me in my 20s that has held me way back, I'm in my 30s now.

If I'm honest with myself things are getting better. I just need to push myself harder.
 
Creativity - namely composing/performing music. Just started a new band with an old friend and we're playing a show in a month for charity.

Currently trying to muster up the courage to perform stand up comedy as well.

And last but not least, love. Finding someone who I love and loves me for the right reasons.
 
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