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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Distancing Talk Thread: Swirly Congregation That's 100% Pandemic-Proof

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Oh hey man, nice to see you post. :) There's actually a lot more fixing/changing in the very near future. We're upgrading to Xenforo, senior staff is in the middle of testing it as we speak. It will give us a good mobile experience and a more modern look, and better search engine optimization so hopefully we can get back on google's first page of searches and start picking up more traffic again. :)
 
Ugh yeah, it would get as high at 40C (104F) where I grew up. Terrible, it feels so awful. Where I live now it's very warm all summer, at least mid 70s to mid 80s (20-30 in C), but I live in a cove at a bit of elevation so it's always about 5 degrees cooler and the air feels incredible. I don't even have air conditioning, I just have all the doors and windows open all summer. Once in a while it gets pretty hot but for the most part it's perfect.
 
I'm literally at the pharmacy before it opens waiting....

Five more minutes till I get my benzos :D

This is one of my favorite days of the month. It takes me about 20 mins to walk back to my apartment, then I'll hope in the shower. By the time I get out I should have that sweet relief flowing through my body.

Don't think I should take the amphetamines today, ive been pretty sick with sinusitis this month. The speed will probably compromise my immune system and make it more difficult for my body to fight it off. Going to save that for when I'm off this weekend, hopefully feeling back at 100% or as close to it as I can get.

Just swallowed 1mg, today is going to be very enjoyable. I'm assuming it's gonna mix well with the 8mgs of Buprenorphine and make me all fuzzy.

*added another 500ugs to bring it up a little more*
 
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Man my cat has been having trouble digesting her food... she's pooping light tan poops like 3 or 4 times a day and waking me up at 7:30am every morning now frantic for food. She isn't losing weight but she isn't gaining it either and she is eating more than my other cat who is over 50% larger than her. I've already spent $400 at the vet once and they said everything looked good. They want me to bring her in for a follow-up and I need to but it's gonna be hundreds more $ and I have a court date for the divorce soon and I am probably gonna end up owing her a lot of money... and then my divorce lawyer will come due also.

Don't ever get married unless you're really sure about it, guys. Or maybe not even then, marriage is stupid and unnecessary and just complicates things. Plus there's no way you can honestly promise someone you'll always be in love with someone, you can't see the future. It's a nice idea but unrealistic. The entire idea is based on owning someone, anyway. They don't call it "wedlock" (what a creepy term) for nothing.

Like 10 times a day my mind goes into uncontrollable anxious/angry thoughts about my ex and this divorce and what is going to happen to my life. It's poisonous and I can't wait for it to be over. If she tries to delay it for 2 months again I'm gonna be so pissed. I'll find out today or tomorrow when my court date is, it's going to be in the next 2 weeks if she doesn't delay it again.
 
That is really scary about what is happening to your cat, I know the vet is pricey but you might need to go. We recently thought one of our cats had diabetes because he was drinking a ridiculous amount of water and displaying various symptoms that my girlfriend said could be signs. But when we took him to the vet and everything was okay, put our minds at ease.

Speaking on marriage, it's something I never thought I wanted in my life. And then I met the woman I'm with now and things changed. Now i full heartedly want to spend the rest of my life with her. She is my Soulmate, with my woman by my side i feel like I can accomplish anything. Her heart is so pure, she is the kindest and most beautiful woman on the planet. I know that if a marriage gets rocky the divorce process can be a nightmare. But I'm willing to take this plunge, both of us love each endlessly. I want to give her a ring and spend the rest of my life with her.
 
That's nice, I get it, don't mind me I'm just sick to death of it myself. :)

I just got together with my ex too young, I had little self confidence, had only had one girlfriend before, in high school, and she was into me. And early on the relationship was mostly good, and I totally ignored all the warning signs.

My girl now I love dearly and she's fully kind and wonderful, and I don't see us not wanting to be together. But neither of us thinks marriage is necessary which I'm glad for, considering.

The thing that bothers me the most about it is that divorce doesn't HAVE to be difficult... if you both act like adults and decide on some division of things, and sign an agreement, it costs a couple hundred dollars and no lawyers or court. But my ex kept putting it off for 5 years, all the while telling me she didn't want anything, until she forced me to finally act, and is now acting like I sprung it on her and the result is that she is the defendent and I'm the plaintiff and now lawyers are dragging it all out and I have to go to equitable distribution to split up "our" (my) assets. Which seems likely to have been her plan all along.

Grr sorry I hate how much it's on my mind. I'm really glad you found someone like that Charlie. < 3
 
Thanks man I appreciate that bro.
This girl seems like the right one for me <3

Please guys don't judge me for this...Do you think 15mgs of Aphetamine will set me back in my recovery.
This is a one time dose and I'll wait till the weekend to take the same amount

I'm craving it so badly right now, I'm on 2.5 mg's of K- pin
They let me leave work early.
 
Well, I would say that it will make it easier to cave next time you're craving it. Also I would say benzos reduce impulse control a lot. But if you're like me, once it's in your head it's tough to get out.
 
Do you think that small a dose will effect the antibiotics.
I'm on a Z pack and doing okay. They say prescribed does won't compromise the immune system much. And 15mgs is on the low end.

When i start crashing im gonna eat 2 more mg's of Clonazepam and not redose again today. Just took some more Bupe, another 8mgs. The speed would help keep me from nodding to much in front of my girl.

*Just ate the 15mgs, it's a real small amount and I'm on all of these other drugs right now anyways*

At least I'm not using marijuana or alcohol.
Thanks for listening Shadow, you're a good man <3

~Charlie
 
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Oh well I don't know, probably, if they say the antibiotics aren't going to be affected by that dose. I'm not sure though, I'm no doctor.

No judgment here, but just some friendly advice... if you're hiding any of these drugs from your girl, I would seriously consider not doing that. When my marriage ended, she actually ended it because all my lying caught up to me. Well actually it did 3 years before that. The impact of her finding out about the long-term lying was profound and the last 3 years were increasingly terrible. In my case I'm thankful it ended, but it really destroyed her trust in me and the relationship never recovered. Kind of messy because I'm better off without her, but the hiding was my contribution to ending it and it was the one thing that destroyed the relationship from her perspective (from mine it was other things).

I don't mean to get all serious but from what I can tell, hiding drug use from a romantic partner always catches up with you.
 
She just didn't like when I overuse benzos and blackout.

I've been taking them 4 months on the down low and it's worked. I jate lying man I really do but I just love them so much. When im smart about it and only take 1mg to 500ugs at a time and space my dose out for hours I'm fine. It sucks having to keep secrets, I relapsed on Heroin last month, did 4 bags over 2 days and felt very guilty
Some times my compulsion to use gets so bad I can't control myself well.

That's the reason I went I'm Bupe, cuz I didn't wanna relapse on Heroin again. Everyone in this world holds some kinds of secrets, mine is the fact that I get 15mgs of Clonazepam per month. I've been using with common sense and I work my ass off today. Down the road in like 6 months I'm going to tell the truth. And explain that I learned a better and safer method.

* Barely feeling the Amp...took another 15mgs*

Thats really it tho, I know impulse control. But I am still taking a therapeutic dose so everything will be fine I assume. Already started to feel the euphoric pleasure moving through my body
I'm not sure if it is like this for everyone. But Amphetamines this Adderal in particular brings me to a point where I feel like I'm on an empathogen. It feels so amazing, and the magic doesn't seem to dissipate.

~Charlie
 
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Cool man just wanted to put it out there because you seem so happy with your relationship. :)

Anyway not sure if you'll be good or not, not sure how all those interact. I mean benzos and opiates obviously are a dangerous combo if you overdo it but I'm sure you're fully aware of that.
 
There are no major actions between any of them, so that's good. You we're actually spot on about the compulsion. Actually ate all 60mgs of the Amphetamine,. It was so blunted by the benzos I just had to do it. Maybe its for the best. If I had that leftover 30mg Adderall. I'd more than likely have brought it to work tomorrow
The last thing I need to do is go to my job looking like a tweaker.

I have so much house work to handle right now and the AMP gets me going. Usually I only take it once a week.
Such a useful drug when used sparingly.
 
I thought amphetamines would be compulsive for me, because I'm always doing lot's of stuff and don't really see sleep as pleasure but more like necessary self-care. I was scared because I thought I would be easily addicted to them. I saw the allure of the endless energy they provide. So when I first got some I threaded very carefully.

Turned out stims are not my thing, I guess. Sometimes I used them to get some extra work done. But since at the beginning of my use I "taught" myself to avoid them if possible, I rarely indulge in them. If im too tired at work I try to just ride it out, unless there's something REALLY urgent.


Haven't found my drug weakness yet. Opiates are nice but not something I would crave on a regular basis. I have avoided experimenting too much with them though. When I tried morphine I dosed it orally, out of caution. For a while I grew a little too fond of ketamine, but at some point it got self-regulating. I still have like 30 ml left of a pharmaceutical solution and haven't touched it in months. Booze was never my thing either. I think the only drug that is really compulsive to me is cannabis, but its not particularly problematic and I can easily go a couple of weeks without it.


I dunno, I guess I'm VERY lucky.


On a different note, I'm currently at work unable to concentrate. I'm starting to feel REALLY tired. Work has been pretty intense the last couple of months and I haven't stopped since a couple of days off in September. Besides that, I haven't had vacations since the two weeks I took a year ago now. Starting to crave some time off.

Luckily I'll have three weeks off in March. We are going to the north of Peru, and if time and money allows, the south of Ecuador :)
 
You are very lucky, Img. Addiction is fucking shit, it's the worst. I love altering my consciousness so I choose to keep using drugs but other than marijuana and psychedelics it's a real tightrope walk for me because I am really compulsive and tend to overdo everything. I really can't seem to stay totally aware from alcohol or stimulants. Opiates I'm totally good with being in my past permanently... my experience with them was so life-ruining that I finally got it through my head and just don't even want to touch them anymore. But I just get stimulants in my head sometimes and generally will grab some propylhexedrine as I really enjoy it... but damn it makes me regret it later, that stuff is bad for you. And if I don't drink the comedown is extra terrible so I always drink too, and then feel worse the next day. It's stupid because I know it's not going to be worth it. But that's an addictive personality for you. I'd love very much to not be this way.

That's awesome about your vacation. :) I just found out that the other band I'm playing with has shows every weekend in March, most are in town, but one weekend we're traveling to the Atlantic coast and playing a few shows over the weekend. I just got that Friday off work so I can go with them. :)
 
Shadowmeister said:
I just found out that the other band I'm playing with has shows every weekend in March, most are in town, but one weekend we're traveling to the Atlantic coast and playing a few shows over the weekend. I just got that Friday off work so I can go with them. :)
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That's so exciting ! I've been playing in different bands through the years, but for some reason none of them really prospered. It was always difficult to get people to really commit their time to it. I've performed live only a handful of times with some of those projects. Going out of town to show your music sounds like such a cool thing!

These days I'm playing with two life-long friends, and we are excited about the music we are coming out with, but its still a studio project. We really need to get a drummer. My girl friend also picked a bass last year and has been practicing. She played the violin as a teenager, so she's learning really fast. We've been having a lot of fun jamming together (: !
 
If I never played a show out, I'd still love playing music alone or with people. But playing shows is the most fun. My main band is finally booking some shows, we recently got a new drummer and bass player and it's finally coming together. We have 2 shows on the books for this Spring and are reaching out for more. The new drummer has a synth setup too and he's really good at it. Exciting new things. :)

This other band though, they actually go on tour sometimes for a month at a time. Which I can't do, and they're fine with that. I have a 45 hour a week job, which although I work from home so it's chill, prohibits me from taking time off (except I get 20 paid vacation days per year but can't ever take off more than that). But yeah I've never gone on the road to play in a band, and even if it's just on the road for 3 days, I'm still excited! This band is so fun to play with, they're good at getting the crowd going and the music is fun and we also improvise.
 
My girl is leaving to trim buds in Cali in 2 weeks. She's going for less time this year because the pay has been slashed in half and her friend is having trouble staying in business (most of the illegal growers who have been doing it for years in Cali are getting edged out of business by the legal industry), so no telling if this might be her last year doing it. She used to make like $12K in 1 month and a half, this time she'll make $1500 in 2 weeks and that's all the work there is. :\ Then she's going to visit her friends, and her sister, so she'll be gone about a month. Ordinarily I like when she's gone for a month and a half, 2 months, because it's healthy to spend some time apart. But this year I can't drive myself because of my suspended license... can't buy kerosene to refill my heating, groceries, go see a friend, etc. So I'm nervous about it but I told her I'll be fine. I mean I will be fine but I hate feeling so helpless. My friends will come pick me up or hang out at my house sometimes but I'll be spending a lot of time myself. I'm thinking I'll probably try to cut way back on phenibut, it's been hard to go from every other day to every 3rd day. It makes me feel absolutely anxious and worthless sociability-wise, even with my girlfriend, which is the worst part other than lack of sleep, so I could take this opportunity to cut back. Once I get to every 3rd day it's a lot easier to deal with. Of course I also have practice with 2 bands during that time. The other band has moved their band house to about 25 minutes away too, it used to be 5 minutes away so Ubers were really cheap but now it'll be like $25 each direction... I can probably get a ride at least one direction. But it's gonna be a pain in the ass.

Oh well. Nothing like absence to make the heart grow fonder... and nothing like a year of suspended license to make you never make that mistake again... and appreciate the ability to drive oneself around.
 
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