Ash,
I haven't seen much here from you for a while. I have been tortured. I apologize if any of the messages were a little much for you. I think it is of vital importance at this time in the history of humankind that information about these drugs is spread. The Chinese have gone too far. They have created an abomination that is going to in my opinion, bring an end to the drug war and a lot of criminal activity.
Nobody can get away with making people suffer this much. It's highly addictive and people make mistakes. It should not be available this way. Whoever is involved in distributing and producing it, is playing a great part in the history of humankind. They are being so evil, heartless, careless, foolish, and blinded by money and legal protection that they do not see what they have become. Poison centres. No longer human, but slaves to the drug itself - an evil force that could be interpreted as anything from a molecular structure to an abominable, monstrous spirit.
Anyways, I think that these things are happening for a reason. My suffering is for a reason. I may die. There is a huge possibility I will die. I envision myself in a coffin resting peacefully. But, I don't want that. I want to live a long and happy life. This drug has ruined it. I used to have thousands of dollars of music equipment around. A 4k bike. All gone to this drug and I need it. I cannot stop it isn't like heroin where I just stopped one day. I think the last two weeks messed my head up to be honest. I still have tinnitus, and I feel really spaced out. I feel like I took a real beating. A real serious, thorough beating. I feel annihilated.
I hope you are well. I did not check the messages while I was gone. If I was gone? I can't remember. In benzo wd's there is too much amnesia. I do know that you care though, and I care about you too! So I hope that you have a great evening if you are in the same time zone, or wherever you are, in the coming hours I bless you with this.
Keep embracing the pain, the key is to see pleasure and pain as one and the same.
I don't mean to be so volatile it is sometimes beyond my control. You seem like a spiritual person too, like painful one and I. You probably have odd dreams, or flashbacks, deja vu, synchronicity, and see outside the box that humans have created for themselves to keep themselves from seeing the true light of the abyss. The infinite. Pain may be intractable, but you will always have your spirit.
I am not sure, myself. I think that when you die, whatever energy you had inside cannot be created or destroyed. It must remain the same, and if it leaves the body, where does it go? I feel that until certain obstacles are overcome, only a level of attainment may be reached. One of these is addiction that I am dealing with, it is holding back my spiritual growth significantly. It is rare to be born as a human, even rarer to be born as a good person, and rare to encounter these problems in life. We are special spirits and God sees through our eyes and knows all. I do not wish to die from this illness. It is very well possible. I like planet earth. I don't want to be reincarnated anywhere else where there are weird looking aliens and no weed, movies, candlelight, essential oils, and cute french girls. I just have so much left to do and cool jobs to work that I can't leave everything behind. But I don't think I can face benzo withdrawal unless it is a very slow 10% taper like ashton manual.
Time is of the essence so I thought I would leave you with some words of wisdom today. I am very stoned and what I am saying is not really coming from myself, but deeper within. I bless you with a long and happy life, please watch your posture with chronic pain. It makes a big difference to makes sure that your shoulders are set back and down in back, core engaged at all times, and neck not hanging down. That has helped me and maybe it will help you too. Thanks for the help, and everyone else.
