• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

When will I feel normal

Every day is getting a little easier, man. Don't let yourself down again,yuba. In rehab I I learned about "Playing the tape forward" - don't just think about the high, think about how shitty you will feel afterwards, the cravings you'll have that you'll probably give in to again, think about how much worse everything is when you use.
Trying to you that strategy now.I keep thinking how bad I feel afterwards.But also thinking use while I sort out things here for a couple of months then use lyrica for detox before going back to states.It will be a fight today fucking cravings they pick the right times.On a lighter note my father in law thanked me for deciding to come back the man's got his daughter back home.I like her father more then I like mine he a nice man accepted me into his family.Fuck this I'm heading into town soon might have to get a taxi a breakfast of valium and weed not good to drive.Im either gonna go to dealer or a butcher.
 
Trying to you that strategy now.I keep thinking how bad I feel afterwards.But also thinking use while I sort out things here for a couple of months then use lyrica for detox before going back to states.It will be a fight today fucking cravings they pick the right times.On a lighter note my father in law thanked me for deciding to come back the man's got his daughter back home.I like her father more then I like mine he a nice man accepted me into his family.Fuck this I'm heading into town soon might have to get a taxi a breakfast of valium and weed not good to drive.Im either gonna go to dealer or a butcher.

You are giving yourself an out to use, yuba. Tell me, if you can't control your cravings now, what will be different in a month? Or two months? Or a year? Moving location will not make it any easier, man. You're just lying to yourself to try and justify a relapse. You are setting the foundations of your new life now, and your decisions today can affect the rest of your life. You can either go to America with two months clean under your belt ready to start a beautiful new life and leave this shit behind or you can go to America fresh out of another detox, dealing with exactly the same cravings as you are having now and handling them in exactly the same way and using. America won't keep you clean man, only you can do that. Please don't throw it all away, you're better than that. Your wife deserves a sober husband, your children deserve a sober father, you owe it to YOURSELF to stay clean. Imagine if your children could see you today, hunched over the foil, giving in to being a junkie again. You can beat this, yuba.
 
You are giving yourself an out to use, yuba. Tell me, if you can't control your cravings now, what will be different in a month? Or two months? Or a year? Moving location will not make it any easier, man. You're just lying to yourself to try and justify a relapse. You are setting the foundations of your new life now, and your decisions today can affect the rest of your life. You can either go to America with two months clean under your belt ready to start a beautiful new life and leave this shit behind or you can go to America fresh out of another detox, dealing with exactly the same cravings as you are having now and handling them in exactly the same way and using. America won't keep you clean man, only you can do that. Please don't throw it all away, you're better than that. Your wife deserves a sober husband, your children deserve a sober father, you owe it to YOURSELF to stay clean. Imagine if your children could see you today, hunched over the foil, giving in to being a junkie again. You can beat this, yuba.
Your words brother are so true.I always justify a relapse in my head first..My mate the dealer has refused to sell me any crack or brown but I got a few other people never just stuck to one dealer even though he sold to me cheap.My mate has instead offered to give me some 300mg pregabs (lyrica) I do enjoy a pregabs buzz and I have done it fo
 
Was saying before hit reply button by mistake.I have done lyrica for a few months with minor wd just going to get smashed on them instead rather then gear.
 
But I will say this I not think out this move right.My wife was the reason I not use.Her face when she came back from states after visit to a clean husband was a sight.I relapsed but she supporte
 
Sorry bruv I did it again.Had a coffee a hash cake and couple of vali and some joints for breakfast .Got my mate coming over with the lyrica and weed in a bit so won't be using again .I am just in a weak place at moment reading your post brought tears to my eyes.I will just get smashed on weed and pegabs over weekend while they still give me the euphoric high I love.My pal said he keep me company but he uses so told him he can use in my bedroom out of sight out of mind.
 
Sorry bruv I did it again.Had a coffee a hash cake and couple of vali and some joints for breakfast .Got my mate coming over with the lyrica and weed in a bit so won't be using again .I am just in a weak place at moment reading your post brought tears to my eyes.I will just get smashed on weed and pegabs over weekend while they still give me the euphoric high I love.My pal said he keep me company but he uses so told him he can use in my bedroom out of sight out of mind.

Are you sure its a good idea to take a drug like pregablin that's going to lower your inhibitions and have a friend round to use in your flat while you're going through intense cravings? If you really think you're strong enough I'd strongly suggest you tell your friend that no matter what if he's really your friend he can't give you any crack or heroin. Try and stay strong man, you're a great guy and I know that there's a wonderful father, husband and a great guy there underneath the drug problem, waiting to come out.
 
Wll I have not used and your words crouched over tin foil did help it brought me out my hole thank you.My mate has got here I won't use the hash cake has got me in a chilled out mood.My mate seems fucked the prick cleaver thought Ill get wasted before I go his.You saw it for what it was me justifying a relapse.Hey rio what Birmingham you from the west midlands one or us one.Got so much family in the west midland one.When I was young my favourite cousin lived in bearwood part of Birmingham we used to play football with all the other punjabi kids at a place called Hagley stadium
 
I just giving update not used won't lie cravings did come back but I find them less then this morning.Just did call with wife and kids they good.i am so smashed on weed
 
Go to the fucking butcher!!!!!

I agree with Rio, you are just trying to rationalize using now then quitting again in a few months? NO. Just NO. That's not an option for you.

And kick that fucker out that's using in front of you, and don't have him round again.

Call your family, get some meat, have a bbq.

I know you're sad that your family is gone for a while, but you will be making things worse long run.

You're better than that Yuba, stay strong.

Here if you need me,your friend,Ash.
 
Oh that's so great Rio, so happy you found something that works for you, you have a great attitude!!

And thank you for the kind words, you're a sweetheart.

Have a great day Rio,
your friend,
Ash.

ahh my bad, I did miss that post! I'm wonderful. I love SMART recovery ,feels like it was the missing piece of the puzzle all this time. cant recommend it enough. the fact that you have severe spinal injuries and yet are still boundlessly optimistic and caring is really impressive and a testament to your character, ash.
 
Go to the fucking butcher!!!!!

I agree with Rio, you are just trying to rationalize using now then quitting again in a few months? NO. Just NO. That's not an option for you.

And kick that fucker out that's using in front of you, and don't have him round again.

Call your family, get some meat, have a bbq.

I know you're sad that your family is gone for a while, but you will be making things worse long run.

You're better than that Yuba, stay strong.

Here if you need me,your friend,Ash.
Your comment ash get that fucker out of here cracked me up.Well it's 7 in the morning I have just woken up me pal I'd asleep upstairs.I fell asleep on sofa me mate he a good guy he put a blanket over me and pillow under head.I did not use even thou watching my pal itch just made cravings worse.Rio helped turned my head back towards family.I can't use because without my wife and kids here I was ready to use for a few months.I just have to remember the detox and more importantly the depression and nothingness that follows the detox.From the age of 15 till now my wife been by my side she deserves a normal life.Just made myself a good cup of coffee.Will now head to the supermarket get some sausages bacon and cook us a British fry up.There Is one thing food wise the British do well that's a fry up.Really fucking scary thought I was ready to use again that can never happen again.
 
Bahaha,

Sorry Yuba, sometimes you need a little tough love, I really only want the best for you.

Exactly, you have your head on straight today, you never want to go back to day 1 again. Very happy you are doing well today and you can always pm me if you need to talk. I will always be here for you.

Have a fantastic breakfast, you deserve it, the term "breakfast of champions" really does apply to you. You're a great guy with a ton of potential Yuba. Remember that.

We love you on here Yuba,
here for you always,
your friend,
Ash.

Your comment ash get that fucker out of here cracked me up.Well it's 7 in the morning I have just woken up me pal I'd asleep upstairs.I fell asleep on sofa me mate he a good guy he put a blanket over me and pillow under head.I did not use even thou watching my pal itch just made cravings worse.Rio helped turned my head back towards family.I can't use because without my wife and kids here I was ready to use for a few months.I just have to remember the detox and more importantly the depression and nothingness that follows the detox.From the age of 15 till now my wife been by my side she deserves a normal life.Just made myself a good cup of coffee.Will now head to the supermarket get some sausages bacon and cook us a British fry up.There Is one thing food wise the British do well that's a fry up.Really fucking scary thought I was ready to use again that can never happen again.
 
Thanks ash as usual you been brilliant.You be pissed of to know but my mate still here.But he has been what I needed someone to just have around my house.And he made it clear he won't sell to me any crack or brown.The guy had a brutal childhood but he still has such a good heart if you his mate.Today been good talked to my wife and two daughters they seemed happy.My boy out with my wife's father peach harvest going on so he taken my boy out on a quad bike to cheak how things going.How I'd life treating you ash has you kidney infection started clearing up.
 
Hello love,

Good I'm glad to hear it, sounds like you're doing much better, which is always good to hear.

Sounds like your family is really happy!! You've done a good thing for them and for yourself with this move, I know it's kind of scary right now but you will all settle in to a really great routine. Plus your wife's family will be around to further support you lovely family.


Man how cool is it that your son gets to go quading!!??

I'm dong well, I'm much better, thank you for asking, you are very kind.

Keep up this great quit you've got going, you can do this Yuba and we will always be here to support you!!

Have a fantastic day!!

Love and support to you,
your friend,
Ash.


Thanks ash as usual you been brilliant.You be pissed of to know but my mate still here.But he has been what I needed someone to just have around my house.And he made it clear he won't sell to me any crack or brown.The guy had a brutal childhood but he still has such a good heart if you his mate.Today been good talked to my wife and two daughters they seemed happy.My boy out with my wife's father peach harvest going on so he taken my boy out on a quad bike to cheak how things going.How I'd life treating you ash has you kidney infection started clearing up.
 
How you doing ash good to hear your getting better.I am feeling well rough at the moment got the flu my top eyelid has swelled up.Good thing I'd I have not felt a craving for a day so that's good.My family are doing good they settled in good.Well have a good day mate
 
I'm doing much better, thanks for asking!!! Very kind of you.

Oh no, that's awful, now you're not well!! I hope you get better quickly, try to take good care of yourself, drink lots of fluids, ( not alcohol though ; ) try to rest as much as you can. Eat small amounts of comfort food to keep your strength up.

So happy to hear that your lovely family has settled in, what a great thing you've done for them and for yourself!!

Proud of you Yuba, you're doing this!!

Get well soon my dear friend,
here if you need anything,
your friend,
Ash.


How you doing ash good to hear your getting better.I am feeling well rough at the moment got the flu my top eyelid has swelled up.Good thing I'd I have not felt a craving for a day so that's good.My family are doing good they settled in good.Well have a good day mate
 
Hi yuba,

Yeah I'm from the UK. I'm actually from Dudley, which is very close to Birmingham but on international forums I just put Birmingham as it's more well-known. Well done for staying strong - if only I'd taken my own advice! I lapsed on Friday, but have been sober again since then and am really determined to keep it a one-day thing in the past. Even using didn't bring me joy - I was just miserable I'd fucked up the clean streak I had. How are you?
 
How you feeling mate just seen your message.I know what you going through mate bit it's just a blip.I know you must feel like shit after a relapse but you just got to go again.Why we fucking do it to ourselves like you said we don't even enjoy the buzz when we relapse.keep strong mate let me know how you getting on and thanks for helping me that day.
 
How you doing ash hope you are doing well.Im feeling better but hard some mad cravings today have taken a c couple of 150 mg lyrica which has relaxed me.Its so weird I was t6hinking about rio fantastic having a relapse and my cravings started.I hate opium so much if I had known about its grip I would never have started.Thats a lie I knew its grip but loved the buzz fucking thing.How you doing mate how is your pain management going.
 
Top