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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

The Recipe Thread (EADD Version)

Pah! Food's fer fuckin poofs luv! We like drugs and booze on this site (when we can bloody get them...)

But just this once I will post a munchtastic 'recipe' that will have you creaming your titties off big stylee.


Place 2 chocolate pop tarts in the toaster until warm and soft (but not crispy).

Break pop tarts into small pieces and add to a fuckin generous bowel full of Walls Cream of Cornish ice cream.

Whip into a homogeneous mixture.

The heat of the pop tarts melts the ice cream enough to prevent brain freeze, but the ice cream cools the pop tarts down enough to prevent loss of roof of mouth.

It truly is a total wanktastic monumental munchfest of epic proportions.

Just try it... :!
 
Sausages and eggs

You need sausages and eggs


Fry sausages and eggs.

Add salt.


Finished.
 
Beef steak, beef mince, fried with onions then slow-cooked as a stew, with a spoonful of dried, decarboxylated fly agaric mushroom in it, its like nature's own MSG, fly Amanita really works wonders with meat dishes, especially beef or lamb. Then toss in some butter-fried shiitake, chanterelles, and oyster fungi, at the last minute, and better yet, some Lactarius deliciosus, the saffron milk-cap, I've a spot that reliably fruits bin bag fulls of saffron milkies every year, and often as not, some late fruiting A.muscaria fruiting under pines (the saffron milkcap is a mycorrhizal species, like all the Russulales, and it enters into a symbiotic association with pines)
 
Steak ala LC:

Two prime cuts of fillet beef steak.

Then, slash with cross-cuts to permit the marinade to soak in, the marinade being made of a mixture of dark soy sauce, teriyaki sauce, devil's brown sauce, worcestershire sauce and some deseeded habanero chili peppers, toasted dry on a hotplate or dry frying pan, slathered on thick, left to soak in, then spiced with the following mixture:

Black pepper
Pink peppercorns, pulverized in a mortar to release the oil
the seed of the cubeb plant, Piper cubeba, a relative of black pepper, but not hot, rather, a camphoraceous sort of taste, cooling, go light, just a pinch of the dried fruits, more chili pepper, weapons-grade chili, you want this to sear the roof of your mouth and leave you running for cold beer, naga peppers or those little scotch bonnet pocket-nukes, fly agaric mushroom, dried and heat-treated to detoxify the mushroom, this MUST be followed or it will make you quite ill, dry at minimum heat until they snap when bent, like a dry cracker. Fresh chilies too, hotter the better, then lather the steaks with chinese pepper, the the things that come as seed-cases and have a numbing, anaesthetic effect on the mouth, makes the peppers tolerable, then the habanero tabasco sauce (yes, I like my hot stuff, and I don't mean naked autistic chicks covered in peanut butter (lostory, hawt video=D) and add some Chalciporus piperatus. the peppery boletus, often found with the fly agaric under silver birch, some fried ceps, some fried Cantharellus spp. and then some Piper longum, cooked until tender and melt in the mouth, with a searing aftertaste from the peppers and boletes, the latter cannot be bought but must be hunted and dried by the cook; unique fire to them, very good. Cover with this powdered in a spice grinder, oil up and fry.

Serve with shiitake.
 
Nope, it is a highly regarded mushroom species, Lentinus edodes, a woodlover favouring hardwood logs.

Very meaty flavour, quite firm texture, and it is excellent fried. The reason for adding them at the last minute is to avoid overcooking them.
 
Broccoli is something I just will NOT eat. I can't even bear to be around it cooking without a gas mask to cut the stench out. Fucking Cruciferous vegetation is an abomination unto me. Ew. Ew. Ew.

But a fly agaric-slathered steak ala me...that is more to my liking. I'm pretty much exclusively carnivorous when it comes to savoury food. I like fruit, but not any vegetable foods.

For some reason I have a craving for melons at the moment, but no shops are open. I think I'll go buy some watermelons tomorrow.
 
Hey, well, sometimes I get the feeling my own humorous riposte just sailed on overhead and out of sight =D


And thats MISTER Mr.Chicken to you mate :P
 
I am an emoticon? strange, I was not aware of that. I was under the distinct impression, that I was an male example of the autistic human subspecies.

Or every other weekend, I do volunteer work as a melon.
 
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