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IDK, I actually rolled over last night in my bed, and chose to turn lights off. It was 3:30. I felt pretty good today (woken up at 11am).

I tell myself that, because the cash will be gone soon.

Bu it'll be OK. Winter is coming. Sleep and eat. Hope to die. LIke normal.
 
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CFC said:
^ I agree, shroomy don't take so much mate, you know it's probably not gonna do much but it's still risky :/
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I feel like it's risky to combine them with suboxone as well. I thought that it wasn't, but I got really sick. Also, in my 5 years of heroin use I never once vomited, so I found this strange and I was using it with heavy benzo doses daily as well. I took a lot of suboxone though for me and I'm assuming my opioid tolerance is way down since I haven't been using. I was trying to stay awake due to vomiting but laid down and passed out immediately. At that point I wasn't sure if the suboxone was helping because I was sniffing them too so I haven't taken once since and likely never will again. I'm almost through the acute withdrawal and subs were not helping with my emotional problems or anything cognitive... they made them worse I feel, and that is the real problem not kicking. When I take away the physical sickness and the drive then I'm left with nothing but a ruined life that could have been relatively straightforward and it is tough to handle for me.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Long term relationships are not worth it. Take it from someone who has spent 9 of the last 11 years in them.
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I agree with you as much as I hate to admit it. I have always wanted a strong romantic partnership, but not anymore. I don't fuck around in those relationships and always end up hurt over some bullshit. I don't even think short term relationships or flings are worth my time because every time I end up more depressed than I was before. As time goes on, I become more and more reclusive and misanthropic.
 
I really really love my propane torch for smoking meth. I finish a bowl and light that fucker up like bad re-entry telemetry--cleanest they've every been.

If no one's around, which never happens. And there's no curtains nearby, and I have some kind of exhaust fan. But if you can get away with that rocket engine noise, it really is the best source of fire for smoking.

I just thought I had a smoking window, in my closet as usual, but my mother just got home, and it's too risky to fire up the torch in there. Using a propane torch in a tiny closet doesn't lend itself to surprises.

Can't put up my nose, lungs, or asshole. So I'm sucking on a tiny sour-meth Now N Later. It's not coke, but the taste's alright.
 
I love my propane torch for torching evidence :D

Why can't you snort meth?

I don't blame you for not shooting it, though I'd probably end up doing that if left alone to my own devices 8(

It's hard to imagine how thoroughly I loved injecting drugs, and I haven't done that in years :|
 
Scrofula said:
I meant, if the ACA (Obamacare) covers medical detox or not. If so, it might cover something that--by accident--is less pricey for hospitals than private insurance.. Even private insurance isn't exactly gonna cover in-patient rehab, or really, anything drug-related. So it'd be great if there were more option.

(And your info has to be backward, the gov usually pays less, or you'd see more doctors willing to accept Medicare, not fewer or none. Oh, the noble doctor, in it to help people, which is why he refuses to move to some semi-rural area badly in need of care, cause Medicare just ain't goona cover his vacation homes).
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I think i applies to more in patient stuff and long term specialty treatment not doctors or specialists... Again I don't know exactly I was just told hospitals get more money from fees they collect from public insurance as either they pay more or have less fees. Again I was lightly explained this in detox by another patient.
 
I smoked weed for the first time in years a couple nights ago. It's been so long because it starting becoming too anxiety ridden so I quit years ago.

I used my milligram scale and measured my dose before smoking. I only smoked 60mg worth of plant material (was less than one lungful) but... Holy shit did it get me high.

It was almost like a two hour psychedelic trip. I was experiencing slight open eye visuals - tracers, geometric patterning, both spatial and color distortions.

Mentally it was a lot like tripping. My emotions were on a roller coaster, I was thinking heavily about myself and my place in the world. I experienced thought loops and time distortions.

There was a ton of anxiety but I managed to work through it. I didn't really enjoy it overall but much like tripping I think I was able to integrate what happened afterwards positively.

I'm almost embarrassed that I got extremely fucked up off of so little. Thank God I was alone; I would not have been able to compose myself around others.

I probably won't be smoking it again any time soon but I have been enjoying some edibles I bought at the same time. Been eating ~ 6-8mg worth of thc (according to the packaging) and have found that to be my sweet spot. I don't feel stoned from it but rather just feel mellow, increase in appetite and I've been having a MUCH easier time falling asleep.

Maybe if I slowly increase my tolerance with edibles for awhile I can then handle smoking small amounts again. I really miss what marijuana used to do for me.
 
lol, we all have different uses for torches probably because the investment to start dabbing shatter can be pretty steep. Man, I was using my micro torch for my dab rig to get the candle wax out of my well now ruined relationships candle holder. Since we used to detest electric lighting while candlelight and incense and perhaps dmt hung around us. I scorched her wall black doing that and it was pretty funny for a while. I didn't find it funny since I just wanted the wax out of the holder so we could light the damn candles but later realized she viewed it with hilarity. Since I had the micro torch over as I dab dmt in a dry rig. Found another use for them, super fast candle holder de waxing. She used to freeze the ornamental holder or some shit.

I will be a full week off opiates after today. I feel my spirit coming back and more relaxed, but this week has been rough for me. This past week I had no soul. I was smoking a blunt in the washroom and took a picture cause I thought the smoke looked cool and I can see a snake draped over my shoulder with an evil looking eye and wrapped around me and an iron clad figure with its face turned away in the background. Tripped me the fuck out but I showed it to a couple friends and they don't see it. Nifty smoke tricks I guess.
 
MDPV_Psychosis said:
It was almost like a two hour psychedelic trip. I was experiencing slight open eye visuals - tracers, geometric patterning, both spatial and color distortions.

Mentally it was a lot like tripping. My emotions were on a roller coaster, I was thinking heavily about myself and my place in the world. I experienced thought loops and time distortions.
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I see many OEV's on shatter/cannabis. Most people are surprised when I tell them this.
 
MDPV said:
It was almost like a two hour psychedelic trip. I was experiencing slight open eye visuals - tracers, geometric patterning, both spatial and color distortions.

Mentally it was a lot like tripping. My emotions were on a roller coaster, I was thinking heavily about myself and my place in the world. I experienced thought loops and time distortions.

There was a ton of anxiety but I managed to work through it
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And that is why I don't smoke it socially. I get serious mental trips and very self-conscious; having people around takes it straight to psychedelic panic attack. The trips seems to linger a bit too; I mean, I can usually "resolve" them, but the next day there's a cloud of doubt over things that I'm not sure really goes away. I'll take all the psychedelics' bad trips combined, and throw some alcohol withdrawal hallucinations on top, over a bad weed trip.

It's best at no more than like once a quarter, with some liquor nearby to abort anything. Weed taught me how to induce a loss of consciousness if I needed to, but the booze is for a sense of safety. I think my last hit was in 2015.
 
The last couple of oddly terrible weed trips usually involved uber pure live resin/ budder/ shatter more so than flower, but after what seemed like a trip to the Hellraiser dimesion I had a pleasant couple hours followed by a munchie sesh.
Mid benzo W/d weed highs can be fun also but edibles seem to avoid a lot of problems IME, dosed right of course.
 
I am old. Never heard of "shatter".

You know, before the first weed panic attack, many eons ago, I could smoke a pile of shitty weed until I saw things and entered a kind of weed dimension that was scary, but not psyche-destroying.

I think it's best if I do not try this "shatter" stuff.


FWIW after eating all the diphenhydramine, I understand the visual and time distortions of weed are all about it's anticholinergic effects, same with the dry mouth and red eyes. But not the mental trip.

Does anyone else think the mental trips of meth and weed have serious overlap?
 
If you take pot and use butane to extract the goodies, and then purge off the leftover butane you have BHO (butane hash oil) aka 'hash oil', 'oil', etc. BHO is then further purified into shatter, somehow. Too high to know or care.

I <3 shatter and it's my only "joy" in life.
 
Ok, thank you. So I'm not old after all, just living in a cave, last glimpse of a non-familial hu-man passing with my last cash to a crippled meth dealer, who may tell me the latest terminology for things, but I wouldn't understand what he's saying anyway.
 
I would highly recommend reading Chapter 36: Mechanisms of Sight in the Volume 1 of Feynman lectures on physics. It completely blew my mind, I guess at Day 9 off heroin my brain can finally understand science again, and I have regained the ability to read. I think those are available for free online.

The craziest thing to me was, well this is just one paragraph of the chapter. Each paragraph completely blew my mind especially with the extensions I was contemplating. But it was about the physiological mechanism of how the size of the iris changes and is determined. It's crazy because the constriction and expansion are operated by two completely different systems of the body.

When pupils constrict like when I do heroin and the iris becomes more visible leaving pinpoints, there are short chains of nerve fibers coming directly out of the brain into the eye that connect to a circular muscle around the iris that pushes the circular muscle in when excited.

When pupils get massive like on acid the original nerve fibers that are excited to make that happen are unknown apparently, but they travel down the spinal cord and leave at the thoracic region and travel back up to the neck ganglia. So it goes through the sympathetic nervous system to get massive pupils and little iris visible, using a radial muscle system. Whereas in the case of heroin (or cases of bright light... haha) the muscles that constrict the pupil are straight up connected to the central nervous system. Normally push/pull mechanisms are pretty straightforward I'd imagine, not completely different like this.

The eyes are an extension of the brain. Like, the brain evolved to figure out how to see. I'm pretty sure a growing brain before birth will grow eyes out of it. Anyways, I'm probably not all right here cause my brains are still scrambled from the dope, but this tripped me out. That was just one paragraph, the also discussed Benham's disc (an optical illusion sorta... beware of seizures lol). If I'm gonna be clean I'm gonna have to be a workaholic so I don't think about doing dope all the time.
 
Those lectures are from the sixties, too, so some of the anatomy is probably more clear now.

Interesting in that series to know where the unknowns were, and his speculation on them, knowing some of the answers today.
All free online, btw: http://www.feynmanlectures.caltech.edu/I_toc.html

You can also find a few videos of him giving lectures, which is fun with his NY or NJ accent.
 
I'd like to read up a little bit more about the condition known as a Nystagmus, in particular how certain substances can cause it when your eyes reach the right or left limit of their field of vision. Everytime I've ever been pulled over and appeared to have been altered but not reeked like EtOH it's been "keep your head straight ahead and follow my penlight with your eyes" or on COPS when he tells his partner "yeah this ones eyes are bouncing, lets tox screen him".
 
that nystagmus is right there on the field test for DUI. I've practiced in the mirror before, to see what they're looking for, which isn't easy to remember when you're drunk enough to see it, and hard to do when you're drunk. (I can also rattle off the ABCs backwards while blasted, even though no cop ever asks that).

But you know how you get the spins when drunk? Hard to hold your eyes on a fixed object, everything kind of starts moving off to the side. It's actually noticeable in the mirror. Or ask your drunk friends.
 
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