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Scrofula, I to found learning how to drive a stick easier than learning to roll. Its all about technique and personal preference towards how its done, I used an old name tag that was about as long as a king size cigarette that was sticky on one side, that helped me get the rolling motions down I just rolled it over and over again, that worked well for me and now I can roll pretty good.

I like the comparison between the two, sometimes its great, sometimes its a screw up however, one main difference between rolling and driving stick is, a new zig-zag or cigarette tube is a lot cheaper than a clutch. hahahahah.
 
They have the same embarrassment factor, too--at least at the age of sixteen, grinding gears in front of friends or spilling your shit all over your lap.

I'd say the analogy works if you had to try a different car every other day, and the clutch didn't work if your fingers were vaguely moist. Where is the international board to standardize rolling paper sizes? And thicknesses?

So, for your PSA, autoinjectors for diabetes or beestings or opioid overdoses?
 
Well, we can be martyrs for love together. Platonically, of course. If not I get the side of the bed closest to the door. Or if you're one who likes to blast the heat, I'll take the window side.

ETA like a half day late or so, I meant the guy below me, Mr. Injector, he done erased his message. It was a sonnet to me, reminded me, honestly, of some of Gabriel Garcia Marquez better stories.

Well, he's taken it back, probably stole it from one of the Marquez stories anyway, so if you are on the market for a despondent roommate, send me a PM.
 
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lol, made me chuckle. I am once again on Day 1 so I get "I wish I was dead" like that. I understand that it is merely a physiological response to the lack of opiates in my brain, that results in letting me know that killing myself is the right thing to do. I don't believe that for a second. The right thing to do is get off this shit because I found a girl pretty much right away last time I did. She was insecure and thinking she wasn't good enough for me and I was telling her I'm just a worthless junkie with good looks and charm. Turns out I was right, I guess.
I can't see myself with anyone else ever so it hurts. I really mean that, she was perfect in my mind. I am a fool. It's hard to experience that for the first and what I believe to be the only possible time while going through opiate withdrawals. I at least got a hold of some more percocets to taper with, so the taper doesn't have to be harsh now. I was in the hundreds of milligrams but with my history a week or two of that is enough to be back at square one. So, today I have taken 20mg oxy just 4 percs in comparison. I needed something or I was going to freak.
Martyrs for love I like that. I don't know, I am suffering from being lonely a lot, it is the distress of that what led me to self medicate with drugs in the first place. I'm 29 and I have had two girlfriends in my life and I just feel like I don't understand women at all. When I am clean, it's a different story. My drive is insane and I don't really give a fuck but in withdrawal I get depressed.
Thanks I'm not really in the mood to laugh so, just watching the third season of Twin Peaks. Really great so far. I deleted my above post since I wrote this one. I guess I'm optimistic now that I have more of a taper plan. I'm never fucking going through this bullshit again and that was my rock bottom. A bottle of drugs over the lady of my dreams. It took 10 years to find her and I don't want to be with anyone else so I guess I'll have to learn to be sexually abstinent and lonely. I'm sure I can still live a mediocre, unfulfilled life down the road. At least I won't be dope sick anymore if I can make it through.
 
So that's a no, then. Well, I see. Ok, yeah, well.

No no, I understand. You're just not in the mood, nothing I did. Never anything I did.

Guess I should have prepared myself a little better for that answer is all. Not like I couldn't see it coming a mile away. Y'know, I put myself out there, here in front of ALL THESE PEOPLE, and you have to just sit and watch Twin Peaks all day in your bathrobe.

Oh yeah, I get it. Right after we talked about sharing a single Netflix account.

Well, enjoy your damn TV show.
 
I am not sure if I know because I am almost 30 years old and I have had two girlfriends. I feel that I know nothing about women and they confuse me more than anything. I'm socially stupid and shy engineer, I can't talk to women for shit. This girl didn't care though; she was tough to figure out but totally straight up and real. It's hard to find genuine people who care. The first was a shitty relationship and I have experienced nothing even close to what I experienced with her. Her perfection to me was in her imperfections and how she was as messed up as me but in different ways and we complement each other really well. There is still a chance I could be with her but for now I am dope sick and it just isn't possible. It is killing me in the withdrawal since I get suicidal thoughts to begin with every time and I feel like I really messed up something beautiful and unique. So, I'm not sure I know. I am certain that I could be really happy for the rest of my days with her but I have to get clean first so that it can be healthy like it was before I relapsed. It'll work out if it was meant to or if I can just stop it with the fucking drugs. Is this not enough for me to see then I must be blind.
 
If it wasn't clear before, I was crying with you.

Hey I'm 40 and the last one lasted ten years, over a quarter of my life. I was only drunk for a large portion of it (really only on weekend nights). But that wasn't the reason it ended. I don't know what that reason was, actually; I think there wasn't a reason at all.

You can't know the mind of another person, because we can't even know our own. We'll always get blindsided sometimes by partners we thought we understood. Cause they change too. I support you getting clean, of course, but if there's a lesson to this, it's less about drugs and more about human interactions. Mainly that they'll always be full of misunderstanding and confusion, and that isn't your fault.
 
I'm also a thread killer. Boobs!

I'm worried i have only a hollow, mucus and blood-filled hole in the middle of my face now, and will sound even more annoyingly nasal, forever. And my first "holy shit did you just lose like fifty pounds over the summer?" question. I told them "crossfit" and they shut right up.
 
ShroomySatori said:
I am not sure if I know because I am almost 30 years old and I have had two girlfriends. I feel that I know nothing about women and they confuse me more than anything. I'm socially stupid and shy engineer, I can't talk to women for shit. This girl didn't care though; she was tough to figure out but totally straight up and real. It's hard to find genuine people who care. The first was a shitty relationship and I have experienced nothing even close to what I experienced with her. Her perfection to me was in her imperfections and how she was as messed up as me but in different ways and we complement each other really well. There is still a chance I could be with her but for now I am dope sick and it just isn't possible. It is killing me in the withdrawal since I get suicidal thoughts to begin with every time and I feel like I really messed up something beautiful and unique. So, I'm not sure I know. I am certain that I could be really happy for the rest of my days with her but I have to get clean first so that it can be healthy like it was before I relapsed. It'll work out if it was meant to or if I can just stop it with the fucking drugs. Is this not enough for me to see then I must be blind.
Click to expand...

Maybe you're on the autistic spectrum? You've hit quite a few tick-boxes there, that whole thing about perfection as well ;) FWIW most relationships and people are incredibly imperfect, even the ones we like to describe as perfectly imperfect.

I've had hardly any long-term relationships, and I'm a fair bit more aged than you. But anyway I think it's pretty par for the course really, autism or not. Remember that we all have a tendency to be a bit myopic when we're feeling shitty, and to imagine that this is how we'll always feel. It's not. It's just for now.

Eventually things will change, probably for reasons outside your control, and you'll meet someone else that your brain chooses to project unrealistic infatuations onto. Try to remind yourself it's what the brain likes to do, especially when we're feeling a bit worthless and sub-standard, and it'll get a little easier to handle. Especially if you can get clean and take back some control of your thoughts <3
 
I liked the new episode.... I watched it after a really good trip using ALD-52 and walking on a beach, up a hill, back down, through a park, and just cooking laughing hella hard about shit the whole time.

One weird thing during the trip my friend and I were hanging out in the park and all of a sudden 15+ dogs started just howling in pain only to stop on a dime sk =b ?.
 
CFC said:
Big tissue; blow nose. Clean out the vacated cavity and grow a nice flower in the hole :) <3
Click to expand...

Why, that's a good idea. When the meth flowers bloom up where my nose used to be, remind me to pick a nice bouquet for you.


My nose is way too pointy anyway. Meth flowers are real, right? What are those things growing in the corner of my room if not meth flowers?
 
Meth flowers are the real-life manifestation of the psychedelic flowers you might see on acid. I would indeed love a bouquet when you can spare a bloom ;)
 
So I'm getting really good at rolling joints in heroin withdrawal. Since I keep going through it again and again, I have essentially been in withdrawal this whole entire year. It is a good skill to have and very challenging to roll nice spliffs. Tough enough to light them. Next up would be blunts but I dare not attempt one despite having a box of wraps. I read the above posts, but I am otherwise at a loss for words. All I can take is my assortment of withdrawal aids and chain smoke joints while trying to ride it out. CFC, I have borderline disorder for sure. I am very highly manipulative and meet all the symptoms of BPD. Probably since I was fucked with when I was a kid unfortunately but it is the here and now that counts and I want to be clean. I really want to so I think that this time I will. I can tell when I'm manipulating myself and when I'm not at least some of the time, well, I take that back I can be quite sneaky and I don't pay attention to my surroundings since I'm so lost in my thoughts.

Darn junkies. Day 2 and it is sheer hell this time. I wasn't expecting it to be hell like this, it's the worst I've ever had it before.

Man, I remember when this shit wasn't appearing to fuck with me... that lasted around 18 months and it was probably the best time of my life. Well, look at me now. I just wish I could lay in bed comfortably at least, I am hurting bad.

Fuck restless legs it is restless whole body. My arms legs, torso every is shaking and convulsing. This shit got in my bones somehow. I swear I can feel my fucking skeleton. The muscle aches are deep and full body make it feel that way. I miss being normal I really do. Normal sobriety is really under-rated. I just want to be normal, maybe I'll take that sub at the 24 hour mark. Can't take it much longer I may have to look into getting a suboxone prescription if it's making me wish I was dead relentlessly over and over like this. My body can only take so much I honestly do not have one more withdrawal in me after this. I am so fucking done

Oh and about that lady, we are still trying to stay together. She isn't perfect and I am far from perfect myself, clearly. But she is who I want to be with in life right now and vice versa. The addiction is keeping us apart because when I'm actively using we can't stand to be around each other. Otherwise as sober people we are in love. She couldn't handle the dope sickness and chronic relapsing she wants the sober me I don't blame her so that's what happened there. There is still hope, she's waiting for me to get better but she won't wait forever. That's not why I'm doing this though. I feel like I hurt someone, suffered a great loss, and I don't want to hurt anyone else. It sucks when people start worrying you are going to die on them and the concern is quite valid at this point. I recklessly sniffed through grams of good quality dope over the weekend. The strongest thing I had had in a while would be a couple 5mg percs.

I'm taking 40mg Imodium so maybe that will help?
 
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