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Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v.2

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About the script thing, I understand some of you are living in the us where the healthcare is private, but here in Canada (public healthcare), only some fortunate persons have access to adderall. Of course i've never been around the block=D. As anything in life, you need to know the right crowd in order the live the right life.
 
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Just fyi, drugs of abuse, including alcohol, and especially weed, are known to make people have psychotic breaks and/or psychotic symptoms.
 
@Ho-Chi-Minh and also an fyi, when the brain lacks three certain receptors, you as a person need to compensate and fill that hole with what we have to balance our brain structure out.
@lemmon so, vitamins are not available in Canada? Been there and know you have access to amazon.com.
 
Thing is, I'm sorry i forgot to mention, that I have ADHD. So now with the help of wellbutrin, I can think. don't recommend to all, need the right brain and understanding of it to taper and self balance and proper doctors to do so so you do not get psychotic as @Ho-Chi-Minh said. On that note, I do like your name man, very Buddha of you.
 
So I tried to commit suicide yesterday. Not sure if I really could go on with the act, but I nearly jumped off the 9th floor. My mom ran screaming, holding me back. Worst timing ever. I'm so sorry for my mom, she goes through so much suffering because of me. So now I'm, again, at the psyche ward for god knows how long. I'm in the most miserable place someone can be. I have nothing to do with my time (after hours upon hours of doing nothing I came to the PC here to write this post). It's scary, boredom. How the hell am I supposed to pass the time here, it scares me more than the consequences of my actions, probably will be submitted to more poisonous drug, another AP. What's more scary is that I have nothing left to live for, so I don't even have the motivation to leave this place... it's better at home but still horrible. I didn't nearly jump for nothing. It became unbearable.

I'm in a real crossroads here and would really appreciate some advice. I got zero motivation and so many symptoms already written before, and no one believes me that it's due Invega. Frustrating. When I checked-in the doctor and the nurse were arguing with me that it's not Invega related but depression related. Problem is, my case is so much worse than any of you guys, not to decrease from your own pain, but I found out things about myself that there's just no way back. One of which is being a very shallow human-being with very few interests & likes. The computer and television were my life. I was on the PC from morning to evening, then spending the entire evening on the TV. I was a slave to these electronics, and now that I can't use them as before, I'm hopeless. I don't like anything. Worse enough I didn't like most things pre-Invega, with Invega it's even worse.

I'm just ranting, I feel somewhat human writing this post, so I just flow with it. Sorry I keep bringing bad news, I know I would much rather hear success stories around here, but I just feel like I must share. Again, would really appreciate any kind of advice as I'm lost, so lost. I'm very scared. I don't want to leave the computer I'm on, but I'll have to leave it eventually. As mentioned, this world is SO beautiful, but it can be a complete hell for some people. It just isn't fair. If there was a God he would make this world without such suffering. What is it good for? There's suffering that brings growth, such suffering that one can handle and is constructive, makes the person seek a path to a better place and benefit himself and others through this path. But suffering in such a way that one's life is hellish... no, I don't see any justification for that.
 
That hurts to hear, Rel, but thank God your mother was there to stop you. Suicidal thoughts are a part of this process it seems (I myself almost acted on it back in May.) Don't lose hope--things WILL get better. We have too many stories of recovery to think that we won't be next. Stay strong while in the ward, try to stress to the doctors that you don't want ANY injections--you've made progress (even if it doesn't feel like it) and you don't want anything to set you back. I know you might feel otherwise, but I think all suffering is constructive in some way, even the most hellish like what we are facing. One day we'll look back on it as the toughest time in our lives, realize that we survived it, and we'll move through life with a greater strength and resilience than most. But for now take it day by day. If TV has gotten you through the days there's no need to feel down about it; use anything you can to make the time pass. I look forward to hearing that you're out of that place.
 
@Rel Im so sorry you are feeling this way mate I have been there and nearly done it my self aswell. It's very dark place. I still somedays feel suicidal somewhat. But I float it out - but sometimes it gets alittle to hard handle and I take some Seroquel and go to sleep just so I can forget about life and the pain that invega caused me. keep your chin up. :)
 
I'm going to test a Kappa Opiod receptor antagonist soon they say it may normalize dopamine system and heal depersonalization symptoms, the problem its not selective and will block other Opiod receptors , any way i'll try it.
 
dirtyinvega said:
@Rel Im so sorry you are feeling this way mate I have been there and nearly done it my self aswell. It's very dark place. I still somedays feel suicidal somewhat. But I float it out - but sometimes it gets alittle to hard handle and I take some Seroquel and go to sleep just so I can forget about life and the pain that invega caused me. keep your chin up. :)
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11 month and no feelings, no motivation!! I hate these doctors, which have done this to a mother and a little child.
 
Rosi71 said:
11 month and no feelings, no motivation!! I hate these doctors, which have done this to a mother and a little child.
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I feel really sorry for you Rosi71. Have you thought about taking antidepressants? e.g Mirtazapine? You *might* get more blunted emotions by taking antidepressant and might delay the fully recovering- but it might give you more motivation and help with the depressed mood?

The Invega injection should be out of your system by now (11 months) but your mind hasn't healed. I have only been off the Invega Sustenna for 4.5 months now and I'm seeing improvements. But sadly your not. Which is making you depressed and giving you anxiety and that is understandable. :)
 
dirtyinvega said:
I feel really sorry for you Rosi71. Have you thought about taking antidepressants? e.g Mirtazapine? You *might* get more blunted emotions by taking antidepressant and might delay the fully recovering- but it might give you more motivation and help with the depressed mood? The Invega injection should be out of your system by now (11 months) but your mind hasn't healed. I have only been off the Invega Sustenna for 4.5 months now and I'm seeing improvements. But sadly your not. Which is making you depressed and giving you anxiety and that is understandable. :)
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Which improvement can you see? Have you your emotions back?
 
ZombieMode said:
I disagree that the damage is permanent. just last year i believed, felt, and had myself convinced that it was truly going to be permanent.Whilst a year has passed, ive been on increasing levels of antipsychotics, and for a longer period of time (also mood stabilisers because the psychs dont like their patients doing backflips from trees)... and the damage has certainly goten noticebly more severe and seemingly irreparable as a result.However, like i say, i dont believe it is permanent. The most effective way to come to your own realization about whether it is possible to heal (and to a limitless extent) or not, is to first change your limiting beliefs that it is NOT possible. Change your self talk, it really is our biggest and most accessable self defence thru this shit.The spiritual concequences of doing so, whether you are thay way inclined or not, will become noticeable. Least thats how i did it.post might be fiction.420 paranoid skitz out.
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Nobody belife me, that there is something lost, since I got xeplion. They belife, I am only lazy.
 
Rosi71 said:
Which improvement can you see? Have you your emotions back?
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Im happy to say I have nearly got all my emotions back Rosi71. Today I feeling amazing I would say im 70% healed. I'm still suffering depersonalization and a little bit of depression I wonder if why i'm healing quicker is due to me truly having schizophrenia I dont know Rosi71. It makes me think you might of got a rare side affect from the Invega Injections. I really dont know Rosi71. I have been told that Invega and Risperidone can make negative symptoms so much worse which it did it to me.

This is the list of things that I have been told by the psychiatrist that break down antipsychotics quicker. :Aspartame (E951) (diet drinks) - Cigarettes/Nicotine - Caffeine. So anyone that takes these things in large doses need to be on higher doses of antipsychotics.

@all I will keep on posting in this thread into i'm fully healed.
 
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