Thoughts on a work situation

[unknownSKY]

GFs boss coming onto her?

Hello, my girlfriend recently just got a new job. She is an assistant of a guy and does tasks like gets him water bottles, and tells him when his clients show up. Recently he emailed her about some big event hes doing where he needs to meet a quota. He says its almost impossible he wont make his quota. He says "to keep me focused and hold me accountable". "if i dont make my quota i want you to make me do something very embarrassing that will make you laugh." "if i do make my quota i want you to choose a restaurant for us to go out to that night"... I dont know if this should be bothering me or not but it does.. at the end of the email it basically pressures her saying "let me know where you choose dinner!"

To me this feels like a guy using his position to either flirt with my girlfriend with something embarrassing "she has to pick!" or take her to an unprofessional dinner considering she does absolutely nothing but simple minute tasks like answer the phone and bring him water. there is no professional conversations that could be discussed.

What do you guys think? my girlfriend said she didnt know how to tell me because the whole situation feels weird to her so she showed me the email. she cant tell him flat out no because she just started at this company but she says it would be awkward and nothing to talk about besides personal stuff if she did go.

thoughts?

 

[Asclepius]

It SHOULD bother you and your gf. This guy sounds like your average douche who wants to bed her.

Tell her to make something up that is unappealing enough to stop him sniffing around her but not so bad that his fragile ego fires her for another girl; that he can manipulate into sleeping with him.

 

[Mel22]

I think it would be a very bad idea for your girlfriend to play along with this in any way. It would be wise to respond to his emails explaining that she is very uncomfortable with his bullshit, and that he needs to stop.

He's a total piece of shit and she should expose him. I'd advise that she start looking for a new job immediately.

 

[JackiePeyton]

Keep copies of all emails. Unfortunately many companies want specific proof of sexual harassment such as quid pro quo stuff. Mel is still right that the first and MOST important thing to do is say you are uncomfortable. I have seen people go straight to management and want them to fix it but they never said boo about being uncomfortable. The law is very clear that it isn't sexual harassment unless it's unwanted and to do that, your feelings have to be made clear. Many times this is enough to stop the behavior because these jackasses know the law because they travel this road frequently. As for finding another job, I disagree. Jobs are often hard to come by. Why should she have to leave because of this jerk? I say start with stating that you don't feel comfortable and see what happens next.

 

[Mel22]

As for finding another job, I disagree. Jobs are often hard to come by. Why should she have to leave because of this jerk? I say start with stating that you don't feel comfortable and see what happens next.

Because life simply isn't fair sometimes, and if she finds herself out of a job, it's probably a good idea to have something to fall back on. Whether she chooses to confront/report her boss or not, there is a good chance either way that the situation with him may get to the point where she is no longer comfortable enough to continue working there.

OP's girlfriend is clearly upset by what's going on, and has advised her partner that she feels as though she is unable to say no to this pig. No one is saying she has to leave because of this guy (obviously), but there is certainly no shame in deciding to remove yourself from a situation such as this one if you feel that's what's best for you.

Also, it is fine for her to go ahead and take this straight to management. She has proof of misconduct (emails), and once he has been reported, the company can be held liable if he continues with this shit.

 

[JackiePeyton]

Ime management won't do anything if the person doesn't say they are uncomfortable. It's sad but true... Here anyway. The rest of your advice is solid

 

[Vastness]

she cant tell him flat out no because she just started at this company

So what? Of course she can tell him no.

Just because the guy is her boss doesn't mean she has to do everything he says. I'm sure that at some point in the recruitment process she would have been given a job description which gave some idea of the sort of the tasks she was expected to perform, and I'm guessing it didn't include "agree to socialise with my weird boss, on demand, outside work hours".

I don't know if there is something I'm missing about this situation, besides her feeling like she can't say no to her new boss, but definitely the very first thing should be to just tell him directly, "I am not going to do that, I don't think it's appropriate," ...and hopefully that will be the end of it.