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Finally told my wife. NA is next. Not sure what to expect

Hey KK! Just checking in, how are things going for you? I'm on day 13, physically I'm doing well. Mentally, good most days but I get hit with random waves of emotion out of nowhere sometimes. ?
 
Ahh the emotion waves. I used to hear from my peers that last few years into sobriety im like no way but trust me it does. Post Acute Withdrawl Syndome is very real. Emotional distress. You miss using and stuff like that dropping your ice cream cone is end of the world. Its then you have a crossroads and decide if using is worth it. Its a catch 22 for sure. Day 13 thats awesome man keep going:)
 
ChicagoMike said:
Hey KK! Just checking in, how are things going for you? I'm on day 13, physically I'm doing well. Mentally, good most days but I get hit with random waves of emotion out of nowhere sometimes. ��
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Better every day, Mike! For the most part, I feel free from the pills, and empowered that it is a chapter I am grateful to finish. I'm also so happy to report being 10 days sober from alcohol. Last week week was really dicey, but the anxiety lifted around Thursday and the insomnia is still there but getting better!! I feel empowered to not be drinking and taking pills, and every day I know I'm getting healthier. Yes, I also have cravings, but I tell myself that the feeling is the "little monster" inside me dying.

I will say this –- I am so happy being at home with my kids, and being truly PRESENT and in the moment. Not thinking about pills are grabbing a swig of liquor. I'm appreciated what I have and fatherhood more than ever. It was no way to live, not a way to be a dad, being a SLAVE to those little blue pills and that liquid poison I was drinking.
 
KK that's so awesome to hear my man. If you look for the promises in the AA book right after step 9 don't remember what pages it's a wonderful paragraph about stuff coming true in sobriety. My fav we will intuativly know how to handle sit whichvused to baffle us. Keep going friend!!
 
I'm working my first step right now, so the recent discussion on your thread caught my interest. The thing that has really surprised me about Step 1 is how emotional it is, writing it out. Several of you above have mentioned the waves of intense emotions that hit us during recovery. I had originally assumed that working Step 1 would give me a sense of relief from those emotions. But as I've been working (for a long-ass time now), I've been realizing that I think Step 1 is largely about facing those emotions head on. My sponsor keeps reminding me that Step 1 is a foundation for everything else, and a huge part of that is finding ways to walk through our fears and regrets authentically. At least that's how I'm imagining the process.

In any case, keep up the good work, gentlemen!
 
Simco! That is truly awesome. Intellectualization of the steps is the beginning of the process of internalization (and internalization is a life-long process). Each will have its own meaning for you and that meaning will be subject to revision as your process progresses. If you are ever looking for insight regarding another person's perspective on a step please don't hesitate to ask.

And congratulations ChicagoMike and KK. There is so much freedom available in being clean!
 
I'm on day 20. I can honestly say that NA is the reason. I look forward to the meetings and feel so good afterwards. NA might not be for everyone, but it's been my lifeline.
 
This thread really brought me some hope that I can get clean from opiates at least, and that maybe my relationship will not completely crap as it looks like it will. I'm not with my kids father and we are both trying to get clean right now and we disagree about everything, even how to do going sober right. He hates my kids I think which is why I'm thinking about breaking it off. I haven't been to NA in years! I do have an addiction specialist nurse practitioner that I see, we don't really talk about my drug use, she just gives me my meds and asks if I'm stable, which I am. She has diagnosed it as bipolar, I've known about a year now and been down the road with medications (lithium and depakote major weigh gain and heavy feeling). She knows I was addicted to benzos so she doesn't prescribe them, and I've told her about my other drug use but not as it relates to right now. How did I let it get so bad? Anyways thanks for listening, thanks for this thread, gives me hope.
 
simco said:
I'm working my first step right now, so the recent discussion on your thread caught my interest. The thing that has really surprised me about Step 1 is how emotional it is, writing it out. Several of you above have mentioned the waves of intense emotions that hit us during recovery. I had originally assumed that working Step 1 would give me a sense of relief from those emotions. But as I've been working (for a long-ass time now), I've been realizing that I think Step 1 is largely about facing those emotions head on. My sponsor keeps reminding me that Step 1 is a foundation for everything else, and a huge part of that is finding ways to walk through our fears and regrets authentically. At least that's how I'm imagining the process.

In any case, keep up the good work, gentlemen!
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FWIW, here's my experience on this stuff....
as it seems there are a number of people just starting out
trying to get a handle on whatever has a handle on you, i
figured i'd put my two cents worth in.

i had a pretty bad drug habit myself, about a 10 gram a day
cocaine habit. just about killed me a few times.

12 step program. no detox. no hospitalization. got sober in my car.
nothing stronger than aspirin since leap year day, 1984. 33 years.
no relapses. went to work every day. had $3.18 in my pocket when
i got sober, and $2 of it was a roll of nickels.

the guy who showed me how to do this was pretty straightforward.
it took three sheets of paper, and three hours. at the end of that time,
i had a list of things to do. if i did them, i'd stay sober. if i didn't, i'd use.

it worked. the craving, and the obsession to use left. it's never returned.

three sheets of paper, three hours. walked away from the experience
with a curious feeling that my problem was behind me. so far, so good.

that doesn't do much good to tell someone about if they can't do it too.
anyone can, most don't. not for any great length of time. so part of the
deal is to become less selfish, and help someone else. pass it forward.

done it over the net, with people i've never met. doesn't matter. still works.
the first one i did over the net i've never met in person. she's got 19 years sober
now.

it's pretty anonymous. it works pretty damn good.

if you want to find out how to trade three hours of your time for the rest of your
life, no strings attached, send me a private message.

have fun, whatever you decide to do.


randy
 
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I am really glad to hear you are going well and that your wife has stood by. Keep fighting that good fight.
 
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Hey, AnythingAndEverything. I just wanted to mention, there's absolutely no reason you can't do NA while on suboxone. That's nobody's business but yours; there's no need for folks to know if you don't want them to. That said, in the US at least, a lot of NA groups are finally growing up about opioid replacement therapy. But the crucial thing to remember is, as they say in the NA literature, "the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop using."

NA can be really great when you need to get shit off your chest, to be heard. If you have a good feeling about NA, I hope you'll try it out.

Meanwhile, please use us to vent at, if that would help at all. :)
 
I agree with simco no one needs to know about the Suboxone. Trust me you're not the only one in the rooms on it. I'm on pain meds for medical reasons cannot be helped and I go. My sponser and grandsponser know that's it. Dude if NA will help you go please go screw everything else. You won't be on Subs forever man. I recently had to get some Subs I relapsed on heroin too. Not 32mg but I had 3 8mg strips so that helped. I can amazingly take my Dilaudid with no prob. I know if they take that from me I'm in a wheelchair so I'm trying. He's right too the only req for membership for any 12 step program is the desire to abstain. Sounds like you're there. Good luck my friend!!
 
NA does not condone methadone maintenance therapy or suboxone and clearly states, "NA is a program of complete abstinence from all drugs." You can still go of course, but keeping it a secret might not be working the most honest program. Some sponsors might be ok with it, though. I went to a rehab where they let the dope fiends have suboxone and we had NA meetings every week. Of course, that treatment center was later sold for $63 million and last I heard the owner was back to smoking obscene amounts of crack cocaine with the proceeds. But hey, NA also clearly states, "there is no cure for drug addiction."
 
Dresden said:
NA does not condone methadone maintenance therapy or suboxone and clearly states, "NA is a program of complete abstinence from all drugs." You can still go of course, but keeping it a secret might not be working the most honest program. Some sponsors might be ok with it, though. I went to a rehab where they let the dope fiends have suboxone and we had NA meetings every week. Of course, that treatment center was later sold for $63 million and last I heard the owner was back to smoking obscene amounts of crack cocaine with the proceeds. But hey, NA also clearly states, "there is no cure for drug addiction."
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NA lit also talks about how "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using," but clearly that isn't actually the case if they discriminate against people on ORT.

It's tragic and so unfortunate how NA literature makes it clear that the group does not consider ORT, methadone or buprenorphine a legitimate form of medicine. It's part of the same logic that is contributing to the recent increases in opioid related harm.

I think the point was that, even though people on ORT and/or psychiatric medication are routinely discriminated against among abstinence only communities like NA, so it is generally advantageous to avoid disclose of what medical care you're receiving. But I think you're right, that definitely impoverishes much of what is being offered by the program. But what is one to do who is using ORT to maintain abstinence from whatever dope they were using to do in such circumstances? Most tell would say to try to make the most of it (that whole take the good and leave the bad bit).

All the contradictions and double standards that goes into NA's position on ORT is simply too much for me to deal with. It's unfortunate, because even though I'm not even using ORT anymore, that kind of attitude still keeps me away.
 
AnythingEverything said:
Thanks for replying to me guys, I'm sorry, it's not my thread�� I could just relate.

I spent many, many years in NA completely abstinent from drugs and alcohol and I know their stance on maintenance very well. I have been to a couple of meetings out of desperation but I can't go and share honestly without mentioning the suboxone (not that I've taken it for weeks..) and if I mention it I can't share, so for me it's not worth it. While I disagree with their stance and wish it wasn't that way, I wouldn't get anything out of being dishonest, it just breeds.

And I'm not ready to be off maintenance though I'm sick of using already, all my lifetimes worth of issues have come to a head and I have a way to go before my risk level goes down (from using/major breakdown/suicide/other.)
Thanks again for chatting with me :)

I'm glad the OP still appears to be doing well :)
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Now that sounds like a very familiar set of experiences and circumstances :)
 
Cert me too. My prob over the years was mostly booze but last 8 years it's been opiates. Ill just say I love AA/NA the program themselves and if people in those rooms adhered to it it woukd be better. Its supposed to be principals over personalities but most follow human nature and become spiritually self righteous and forget what it was like when they came in. Shame. I left AA cause they were riding me about pain meds I'm like bitch you wanna try to walk with this pain? Shut up and let me recover. NA is more forgiving but still sketchy. I wouldn't reccomend lying or holding info in a "rigoursly" honest program but you know people on matience need it and also need the rooms so sometimes gotta do what's necessary. My one prob with matience and I see thevprob is people stayvon thatcshit too long. Suboxone shoukd only be used thru withdrawal not really for PAWS you know people on Subs for a year and shit? I was for a week that's it it's also a drug of abuse and dependence. Having said that I'd like to see anyone who disses matience to try to kick opiates cold turkey. That's all.
 
I just want to reiterate--if you think NA will help you, then GO. As I said before, there's zero need for you to share that you're on suboxone if you don't want to. You can worry about working a "rigorous program" later. For now, just claim the seat you've earned at the table.
 
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