Im fearful about ADs specially because of complains of lack of focus and memory loss. This suggests some sort of brain damage, so why fuck up something that is damaged already, you know...?
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Im fearful about ADs specially because of complains of lack of focus and memory loss. This suggests some sort of brain damage, so why fuck up something that is damaged already, you know...?
Cotcha Yankinov
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*If* there is injury or atrophy of serotonergic cells, SSRIs could actually help heal those ones and increase the generation of new brain cells entirely.
SSRIs are thought to work in part by reversing the effects of stress on the hippocampus (the effects of stress being atrophy of some brain cells in the hippocampus and reduced generation of new cells that migrate to the hippocampus) - in this regard, SSRIs can help with the cognitive issues associated with depression by helping the hippocampus grow (the hippocampus is critical for memory)
Cardio will also function similarly, but has numerous other benefits and doesnt really have any risk.
SSRIs are thought to work in part by reversing the effects of stress on the hippocampus (the effects of stress being atrophy of some brain cells in the hippocampus and reduced generation of new cells that migrate to the hippocampus) - in this regard, SSRIs can help with the cognitive issues associated with depression by helping the hippocampus grow (the hippocampus is critical for memory)
Cardio will also function similarly, but has numerous other benefits and doesnt really have any risk.
But what about the sexual side effects? I feel like those are a big reason so many people (not just LTC) in general are afraid of SSRIs
hardtack
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Could use some help from those who may have had similar bad experience..in fact possibly life threatening which for old raver is now over but still has bodily problems that are hurting bad. Kinda of hard or impossible to ask young inexperienced hard rollers unless they have about 10 or 20 years experience. Reason is simple first time in life OLD RAVER had awesome exp but aftermath was horrific. Will not discuss whether MOLLY Was good because it was 100% same batch from prior week but this time the old raver did something never done in all years or rolling. EVER...recently decided that using Murrien Purens ie L-DOPA at 500 mg to re-boost after small rolling with any stimulants was better than just dumping 5 HTP down . Also added L-Tyrosine 500mg and yes it rebuilds the Seratonin and Dopamine for next party in few days. Here is what happen and speed at which Molly came on was almost" INSTANT" almost like throwing a light switch. So Old Raver throws down 98% pure Molly pills but fast acting, very thin gel caps ie MDMA yes he tested with 3 reagents and boom all gave A-OK perfect black, black ,dk purple ...even smells [perfect] ---so getting read for night out he throws 150mg cap down...but on top of that throws nice glass of good bodybuilder protein shake and on top because old rave has heart like track star throw 1000mg of L-DOPA and here is what almost killed this dude....1000 mg of B-12....well needless to say this was like throwing few sticks of Dynamite on top of Fuel truck loaded with Napalm & on top of huge forest fire....OMG I believe the real MDMA went from Party Drug to maybe taking 1000mg of pure Crytsal meth substance that stomach and brain would explode on....Yeah; well after partying for 10 hours this dude is lit up light like TIMES SQUARE and suffering no question from Seratonin Syndrome ...heart beating like a drum , constantly drying out,,,absolutely unable to sleep and wired from head to toe, very scared to death. Now on top of that he comes to find out L-DOPA lists dozens of side effects mostly dangerous or deadly... he now has and some can be fatal ....whats the cure ??? Once chemicals in brain and throughout the body who knows are what now wired to max at 5 am in morning ...does he freak out call 911 who he knows will stick IV and feed him 500 sugar water or does he chug few Gatorade bottles for 1 dollar a piece and study his ass off on the web. UH No2. ok now things are weird and scary but how do you keep heart from, blasting away once the Dopmaine is pouring out and you added 2 days worth of more to the brain and body....UH YOU NEVER DO THIS is what he knew....now on top of that his leg swells up and tongue is numb and hurting....OMG call 911 yeah any kinda NARCAN shot for that NO and NO again...oh something to drop blood pressure...not good idea to mix anything now....however being extremely smart and knowing little of this concoction, he reads more and of all things ---NICOTINE is suppose to help little with this...he grabs his VAPE PEN and enjoys HOLY SHI* less than 2 mins pressure slowly comes down...also he know one other thing at his old age ...his family died of heart attacks...what to do....start feeding the heart and HE DOES all day....finally after 2 days he manages to get sleep and is stable...his lungs were even going out of wack ... so hard to breath and coughing like chain smoker......so for any of you super hard core rollers ..tell the fellow old schooler how long till the leg swelling goes down bottom of calf and most important of all to really can assist ------ can that dude recover and have any of you experience this DANGER once or twice; and how did you deal with it?8( Please please be honest and realistic help not drink water and take some TYLENOL ,,,real serious answers ...
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Cotcha Yankinov
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Not everyone is affected by them too much, and some people's libido actually returns to their pre-depressive state. The people (non LTC people) I've known on SSRIs haven't had their libido itself affected, just their time to orgasm affected (it takes longer, which is not undesired for some).
At any rate, if someone hasn't been brought to their knees by their respective mental illness to the point where they are willing to let the sexual side effects fly, then they probably aren't doing that bad relative to others with mental illness.
Some of the other people are probably so non-functional that they don't/can't have sex and it's not a concern at all, or they're willing to trade the chance of those side effects for the chance of getting better.
Hope I don't seem too harsh, but there is always somebody out there who has it worse.
8BitTrip
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Akinetopsia - this is the first time I've come across a label for this phenomenon, thanks. I always constituted it in as part of DP/DR but I notice I used to be unable to track objects with my eyes, although putting it like this is almost euphemistic - as experienced it was simply an all pervasive disassociation between me and the material word but more especially objects that moved. In my recovery I would occasionally feel as if time had suddenly shifted and I was thrust more into the present moment; it is a simultaneously reassuring and frightening experience - to realize at how oblivious to how askew I'd been just moments before.
I'm now at 14 months and I'm only just starting to properly return to reality. I was 'locked' in the same state for around 10 months with what felt like little to no improvement. At 12 months I really started to feel parts of my brain again. Something was tangibly changing up there, although still only very subtley. I took it as a sign and went on Sertraline for 2 weeks. I was coming out of it anyway but if nothing else, it made me feel more in control of my recovery. Anyway it seemed to help quite a bit; there was one morning when I woke up and felt just a bit more alive signified by an exaggerated/positive enjoyment of merely breathing in (specifically in the higher parts of the brain and even frontal lobe ever so slightly) As I am now, I feel like I have 95% of my cognitive ability back, I'm 85-90% present i.e. not DP/DPd and around 75% of my brain's sensory ability has returned. Emotions are possible again, although dulled - like I care to complain. Right now I believe I'll make it back to 100% and if not, I will at least be perfectly content with what I've got.
The main insight I gained is the untrustworthiness of the mind. I was a having lot of thoughts that told me with absolute conviction that I was stuck like this for the rest of my life. These pessimistic thoughts are generated from a brain low on serotonin. They are frightening and very real to me at the time. But then after they disappear, I tend to enter a period of hope and positive thinking. (Such was the nature of my recovery; on a micro scale non-linear and wavelike. And on a macro scale linear but still wavelike) I wondered who I was just a few hours earlier to be have calling certain hell and damnation upon myself. This is why mindfulness is essential. The goal doesn't-or even shouldn't be to prevent thought, as attempting repression can create more thoughts and disturbances. But please make sure you observe them come up so you can recognize them for what they are; not from you, not you, nor good nor bad, only thoughts. I might have more to type but I'm still psychically drained from this whole charade. And still have quite a way to go, I might add. Stay strong and keep the faith.
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So ive been reading and trying out CBT but so far it doesnt seem like its anything "magical".
The stuff I am seeing is that you need to practicing challenging negative thoughts--even if its the chemicals/the way you feel causing them-- and in the moments where that is hard or in the moments where you try that but it doesnt do much then you essentiallt try to pay attention to an activity/behavior you are doing. Thus Cognitive-Behavior therapy. Thats the simplified thing im getting out of it but the main issue is when does this actually start providing effects that you feel? I often do wonder whether I need to do it 100x or 1000x etc before "feeling" the effects lol. Or whether the effects are already there in a subtle way but I just dont see them.
Amazing how you can actually worry about the therapy you are using to itself correct the symptoms. But I do prefer the approach over more passive mindfulness cause it at least feels like you are *doing* something actively. And at least with the behavioral portion its something I have been sort of applying anyways.
The stuff I am seeing is that you need to practicing challenging negative thoughts--even if its the chemicals/the way you feel causing them-- and in the moments where that is hard or in the moments where you try that but it doesnt do much then you essentiallt try to pay attention to an activity/behavior you are doing. Thus Cognitive-Behavior therapy. Thats the simplified thing im getting out of it but the main issue is when does this actually start providing effects that you feel? I often do wonder whether I need to do it 100x or 1000x etc before "feeling" the effects lol. Or whether the effects are already there in a subtle way but I just dont see them.
Amazing how you can actually worry about the therapy you are using to itself correct the symptoms. But I do prefer the approach over more passive mindfulness cause it at least feels like you are *doing* something actively. And at least with the behavioral portion its something I have been sort of applying anyways.
Brain_fog88
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I'm seeing a therapist right now and she thinks lamotragine would be a good fit for me. It's an bipolar med. I've read that it causes some intense memory issues down the road for some people. Anyone have any experience with this?
I'm thinking I'll turn it down cause my mood has been fine. I just have a bad memory and am not as happy because of it lol. I think taking something that could potentially make it way worse would just cause me more anxiety and depression.
I'm thinking I'll turn it down cause my mood has been fine. I just have a bad memory and am not as happy because of it lol. I think taking something that could potentially make it way worse would just cause me more anxiety and depression.
Hello every one. I am having som issues I think started because of MDMA use. I rolled for about 15 month with a month inbetween each roll, and my teeth started chattering after the 12th time. I didn't think this had something to do with MDMA at the time, and I rolled 3 times more after this before i quit. The chattering at the beggining only started in certain social situations where I felt uncomfertable and a bit anxious. But this has since developed into permanent chattering, and my teeth are steel chattering 7 month after quiting all drug.
I quit doing all drugs I used to do (Monstly mdma, but also weed, LSD and 2cb) because I felt very anxious in a lot of social situations, and I did some research that made me belive that teeth chattering might be due to anxiety. And I decided to that I need to face the situations that made me anxious in order to "win" against the anxiety, and forced my self into the situations. In addition this this, I kept hitting the gym 6 times a week and eating healthy. This seems to have worked pretty well with one exception. My teeth are steel chattering all the time. This is preventing me from moving on with my life, as it is a constant remainder of the time I used to feel anxious. And I start being anxious every time I feel my teeth chattering. Recently I was going to have an oral presentation of a project infront of around 60 students, and I felt my teeth chattering when I stood infront of the whole class. This set me off totaly and I ended up having a panic attack. This is the first time I had a panic attack without being under the influence of a drug(had one during a bad trip on LSD a year ago). This has brought back some of the anxiety.
I am wondering if someone has had problems with chattering teeth? And how long time did it take to recover?
I quit doing all drugs I used to do (Monstly mdma, but also weed, LSD and 2cb) because I felt very anxious in a lot of social situations, and I did some research that made me belive that teeth chattering might be due to anxiety. And I decided to that I need to face the situations that made me anxious in order to "win" against the anxiety, and forced my self into the situations. In addition this this, I kept hitting the gym 6 times a week and eating healthy. This seems to have worked pretty well with one exception. My teeth are steel chattering all the time. This is preventing me from moving on with my life, as it is a constant remainder of the time I used to feel anxious. And I start being anxious every time I feel my teeth chattering. Recently I was going to have an oral presentation of a project infront of around 60 students, and I felt my teeth chattering when I stood infront of the whole class. This set me off totaly and I ended up having a panic attack. This is the first time I had a panic attack without being under the influence of a drug(had one during a bad trip on LSD a year ago). This has brought back some of the anxiety.
I am wondering if someone has had problems with chattering teeth? And how long time did it take to recover?
I've been lurking here for a while now and I think I've read every single thread on long term comedowns. So decided to finally post what's happening to me. After a period of around 2-3 years of doing various drugs, I realised I didn't feel the same anymore. I would find it harder to process information, work stuff out mentally, nothing seemed fully real anymore, etc. I kept on getting drunk and high anyway because it didn't bother me to the extent I wanted to put my life on hold, and my friends kept telling me it was all in my head.
Everything changed last March when I went on an mdma binge all weekend - I must have done about 6 (untested) pills in little bits. Then the next week I did another 6. This was followed by 5 months of wondering if I was going crazy, not being able to focus on anything properly, I wasn't able to even think properly. I thought it would be like previous times where the effects would mostly wear off after a few weeks. So I kept thinking I was going to be alright soon, kept going out drinking.
I developed EXTREME anxiety and paranoia, I'd go out drinking and literally be a complete mess, then not remember a thing and have panic attacks about it the next day, id have flashbacks and talk to myself all week. I would have racing thoughts about dying and I felt like I wasn't even a person.. I just felt like I was a complete weirdo.
At this point I still didn't realise it was the mdma, I just thought it was from drinking so much and the previous drugs. So I decided to go sober, but I then ended up getting given free pills and taking them (5 months after first binge), then the week after dropping 0.7g mdma and completely losing it. So now since then, in September, I've been sober completely (bar drinking 2 weeks after my last drop). I'm 6 months in and I still feel dizzy every day, if I move my head there's a wooshing feeling, I have trouble having conversations, I've stopped speaking to a lot of people because I can't be myself. I have anxiety and I have HPPD. My head constantly feels like something is spinning round in it, along with head pressure, and in general tripping and seeing shit move around.
My symptoms have gotten slightly better, I don't feel like I'm completely living in a nightmare anymore, I still get anxious thoughts about weird stuff I've done while in this state but they are decreasing. I'm starting to see a slight glimmer that I may actually have a decent future but it's a small one still. it's still the one thing on my mind 24/7, I try to ignore the blatantly obvious symptoms such as the whole room breathing but it's hard. SOMEHOW I've managed to keep my high pressure finance job and keep it together from an outside perspective so that's a plus.
I've accepted I'll be like this for at least 8-10 months if not more, but I just feel like I'm wasting my younger years for nothing, although I'm trying to see a positive and am hoping I come out a better person.
Any comments from people with a similar experience would be appreciated. I haven't seen any doctor because I've heard more drugs won't really help but any input is welcome! I'm 22 btw. Thanks!
Everything changed last March when I went on an mdma binge all weekend - I must have done about 6 (untested) pills in little bits. Then the next week I did another 6. This was followed by 5 months of wondering if I was going crazy, not being able to focus on anything properly, I wasn't able to even think properly. I thought it would be like previous times where the effects would mostly wear off after a few weeks. So I kept thinking I was going to be alright soon, kept going out drinking.
I developed EXTREME anxiety and paranoia, I'd go out drinking and literally be a complete mess, then not remember a thing and have panic attacks about it the next day, id have flashbacks and talk to myself all week. I would have racing thoughts about dying and I felt like I wasn't even a person.. I just felt like I was a complete weirdo.
At this point I still didn't realise it was the mdma, I just thought it was from drinking so much and the previous drugs. So I decided to go sober, but I then ended up getting given free pills and taking them (5 months after first binge), then the week after dropping 0.7g mdma and completely losing it. So now since then, in September, I've been sober completely (bar drinking 2 weeks after my last drop). I'm 6 months in and I still feel dizzy every day, if I move my head there's a wooshing feeling, I have trouble having conversations, I've stopped speaking to a lot of people because I can't be myself. I have anxiety and I have HPPD. My head constantly feels like something is spinning round in it, along with head pressure, and in general tripping and seeing shit move around.
My symptoms have gotten slightly better, I don't feel like I'm completely living in a nightmare anymore, I still get anxious thoughts about weird stuff I've done while in this state but they are decreasing. I'm starting to see a slight glimmer that I may actually have a decent future but it's a small one still. it's still the one thing on my mind 24/7, I try to ignore the blatantly obvious symptoms such as the whole room breathing but it's hard. SOMEHOW I've managed to keep my high pressure finance job and keep it together from an outside perspective so that's a plus.
I've accepted I'll be like this for at least 8-10 months if not more, but I just feel like I'm wasting my younger years for nothing, although I'm trying to see a positive and am hoping I come out a better person.
Any comments from people with a similar experience would be appreciated. I haven't seen any doctor because I've heard more drugs won't really help but any input is welcome! I'm 22 btw. Thanks!
Regrets9995
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Hello i have been lurking for a while and just need some support as doctors and family believe im just going through depression and anxiety. It has been almost three months since my mdma binge and i have visual snow, after images, insomnia, constant head sensations, memory issues, brain fog, cant plan anything, sexual dysfunction and relatively no emotion. Just looking for some support really from people going through similar things as this is hell.
Healthy living man and it'll improve somewhat. Exercise, eat right, no drugs or alcohol, and I'd stay away from supplements and meds for a while. Weird things set me off.... Curcumin, kava, even a few cups of decaf green tea or food with lots of garlic or ginger....I get all shaky, sweaty, diarrhea, no appetite, can't sleep, brain zaps, an "over adrenaline" feeling. This will last for a couple days then I'll return to baseline. I'm 7.5 months in and I'm still suffering from tons of black dot floaters, nonstop tinnitus, insomnia (has gotten a bit better), muscle twitching, and difficulty focusing on moving objects....It's weird it's like I can't track stuff.
Regrets9995
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Were your cognitive abilities impaired?
Yeah, as hard as it is I know if I lose my job I'll fall into a much bigger hole. How long has it been for you, what are your symptoms?
Not really, I've always had difficulty concentrating. I think a lot of the cognitive abilities arise from all the other physical and mental symptoms and the anxiety to be honest. I've never felt fatigued either or really any of the common depression symptoms.
Regrets9995
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This is so hard, didnt know this kind of hell existed!
Neither did my friends or I. It will improve our shouldn't get worse. Don't get me wrong I'm way better than I was the first month. My sleep overall is OK, and my tinnitus is annoying but I can only hear it if there's no background noise. Floaters give me some anxiety but they're not harmful, they're not tumors! The muscle twitches have gotten less as well, and I rarely get brain zaps upon sleeping unless I'm having a mini relapse. Stay strong! We're all relatively young so I believe our bodies can heal. Sure I get down once in a while, last night I broke down into tears, thinking I should be getting married and starting a family (I'm 31!) And here I am all fucked up.... But what can I do?
Regrets9995
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I know how you feel, 3 months ago i was doing fine at uni, now im back home living with my parents trying to get through the day! Life seemed so easy before all of this!
I took 2 Coca Cola pills 2 weeks ago and for the first week I felt shit being spaced out and that. Now I feel better but still feel a bit detached (dispersonalisation). Will I eventually return to normal in a a few weeks? Thanks for any replies
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