So I've been realizing I need to start taking better care of myself again recently... been noticing a host of worrisome signs, and I've been drugging pretty heavily. Worst problem is stimulants, I like euphoric stimulants and I've been using propylhexedrine twice a week on average for a while now. Also phenibut every other day for quite a long time, I have some amount of physical dependence to it though it doesn't really worry me much, been there before and it's never been hard to taper down. But I am starting to feel like it's having a negative impact on my health, weird body pains and such, even though I adore the effect it has on me mentally/emotionally/energetically. I've also been drinking pretty heavily and smoking cigarettes. I don't do anything every day, except a bit of weed (like once per day on chill with girlfriend days, more on band/hangout days) and caffeine. I drink and smoke cigs on band days (3 days a week) and if I hang out with my friends apart from that. Also not eating nearly as well. I think I might be starting to get the gout, my joints are hurting. Long story short I think I've had a touch of it for years although when I got it checked I was told I don't, but it's been expanding lately and that was 3 years ago almost. It used to just be my left big toe (which seems to have grown in the joint so it's quite a bit wider than my right one), but now it's starting in my left thumb joint, and also my right wrist and left elbow. Just a constant thing where there is pain when pressure is applied in certain ways. Also propylhexedrine has a pretty severe effect on my bladder/urinary system (plus been using bumps of 3-MeO-PCP frequently for a good year and a half now, may also have an effect there as an arylcyclohexamine), wondering if it's affecting my prostate too. The whole area feels off. It's got me worried.
Well I think I'm finally ready to just do something about it all. My girlfriend has pretty severe stomach/digestive issues that flare up and it's bad right now, so she is eating primarily vegan and really low acidity/richness. I love to cook for us, so I've been working out techniques to make tasty food without using my go-to things which are mostly rich and acidic. Been gaining traction there, I made some really nice food the last 2 nights we hung out. I decided this morning that I am going to stick to eggs for breakfast, salad for lunch and various forms of pan-cooked vegetables with flavorings from things like balsamic vinegar and nutritional yeast for dinner. And peanut butter, some meat once in a while but not every day anymore and ideally fish more than anything. Going to start making dinner before leaving for band practice, eating some and bringing the rest so I don't stop at Cookout on the way home and stuff myself with meat and cheese. Also I'm not going to drink or smoke tonight at band practice. And really intending on just stopping using propylhexedrine, that shit is fun but it feels so bad for me, I am pretty sure I've done damage and want to stop doing that. The joint pain has also gotten me to stop working out, well I could be doing cardio but haven't been, but weights seem like a bad idea now. Going to be healthy for a bit and then make a doctor appointment and get everything checked out.
Seems like my adult life has been a recurring pattern of going hard and catching myself and achieving more discipline. Fortunately it's getting easier to catch myself and apply changes as I get older.
Band is going really great... we've been working hard and really focusing and as a result we're all getting a lot better both individually and in playing together. I practice for hours every day at home by myself and we have 3 practices per week, so about 8 solid hours of playing together per week, and a lot more playing by myself. Gonna finally mix down some tracks of our 5 instrumental originals and a few jams tonight, I'll post them tomorrow if anyone is interested.
Also working on tearing up the nasty old carpet in my upstairs, which includes a hallway and bedroom (and bathroom but it's tiled, not carpeted). There is beautiful hardwood underneath to match the rest of the floors in the house. Getting pretty far along in it, once I get all the carpet/staples/tack strips up, I am going to remove all the base boards, paint the area behind them, and re-install them so they're touching the wood (they're a few inches up to accomodate the carpet). Oh and apply some polyurethane to a few sections of wood. Might have to replace a few boards too in this one area with water damage. Feels good to work on stuff to improve your home, the upstairs already looks so much nicer.
Checking in, hope everyone is well. Life has been going really good for me as of late. I won't bore you guys with the details but just wanted BL/PD to know I'm in a really good place right now. The weather has been very nice too, I'm going to try to go hiking at my favorite local state park the next time I have a day off. Hopefully the girl I'm seeing is free, we've been talking about taking the trip but sometimes it's hard for us both to find the free time.
I've been working on getting my house cleaned up today. It wasn't really bad just a lot of clutter since all I did in there was sleep/shower/use the computer for the last three years. I'm going through a lot of my stuff and getting it sorted into storage bins. Got my new (huge) desk moved in, set-up my PC (dropped some new hardware in the tower while I was at it), got my four soon to be five monitor set-up going and jammed out on a lot of music this afternoon. We had thunderstorms roll through around supper time so I spent a couple of hours after supper sitting on the porch enjoying the weather.
Rambling like always. I need to get off to sleep so I can finish up cleaning out this place tomorrow. Y'all be good!
That's awesome man, glad to hear from you and that you're doing well!
Truthfully Xorkoth, you shouldn't have even mentioned it. Now I'm just going to keep bugging you to tell us what it is. I mean, just a hint. C'mon. :D
No can do.
