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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 4)

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Hey Socrilus, mirtazapine is a pretty strong antihistamine but that effect is known to wear off after a couple weeks, and also at the higher doses the more anti-depressant type effects will kick in (around 45mg), so you could try to stick with it for a little and maybe titrate up a bit faster than usual. It can be activating for most once the dose is up there.

TCAs can have sexual side effects but as I understand it, with some of them (especially the ones with 5-HT2A antagonism) it's better than SSRIs.

Wow that is the opposite of what I would have thought logically if it was some linear effect. I thought if its such a strong sedator (I knocked out within 15-20 mins) then it would keep doing that even more at higher doses. Is it some U shape type thing?
 
I was the one with the bad curcumin reaction. To be honest I was taking it very early in my LTC, and also was taking 1 gram with piperine. I was also taking a shit load of other supplements and fish oil. My suggestion would be to take small amounts at first with minimal other supplements and see how you feel.

I was also taking mirtazapine very early on, but usually only 7.5 mg, for about 2.5 months. I desperately needed sleep. I jumped up to 15mg for a couple weeks, then back down to 7.5. Just to note...before taking it I never had visual snow, CEVs, things moving in peripherals, or waving walls. After taking the mirtazapine I started experiencing these things....but it was still only sporadically. Now after 3 weeks off it I haven't seen any visual snow, but I still have a large increase in black floaters, and louder tinnitus. The sleep inducing affects will wear off... They did for me... Which is why I quit taking it.

To me, TCAs seem like a safer bet. Seems that's the consensus on HPPDonline.com as well.
 
Cotcha is right....up to 30mg I think it still helps you sleep...at 45 it has somewhat of the opposite effect, but not for everyone.... Some people still get knocked out at 45mg.

Could my tinnitus be related to grinding teeth? My dentist said I grind my teeth, and my jaw is often sore.
 
I know it"s different for everybody but when would you guys suggest to start to consider taking medication if you aren't seeing improvements? I'm thinking around 6 to 8 months??
 
I know it"s different for everybody but when would you guys suggest to start to consider taking medication if you aren't seeing improvements? I'm thinking around 6 to 8 months??
That's probably a good time in cases of moderate LTC (no or nearly no HPPD, main symptoms cognitive issues and depression)
 
Wow that is the opposite of what I would have thought logically if it was some linear effect. I thought if its such a strong sedator (I knocked out within 15-20 mins) then it would keep doing that even more at higher doses. Is it some U shape type thing?

Indeed U shaped, a non-monotonic response is common with a lot of substances. The antihistamine effects will saturate at some point and the serotonin/norepinephrine effects will kick in. In addition, blocking 5-HT2C will help turn on dopamine neurons, but these effects are only really realized after about 45mg from what I have heard. Above 60mg and towards 120mg, mirtazapine behaves very differently than it does at 15-30mg. I suppose if the somnolence is too much you could take tiny amounts (2mg) for a while to let the antihistamine effects desensitize a bit.
 
That's probably a good time in cases of moderate LTC (no or nearly no HPPD, main symptoms cognitive issues and depression)
Yeah my main problem is i don't really know if I have HPPD and if I do it's really minor. Only symptoms are visual snow only when looking at a wall or when it's partly dark (oddly I can't see any visual snow when it's fully dark) and when I look at the sky regardless of its sunny or cloudy I see bunch of sparklers and spots floating around. I know it's weird it's hard for me to even explain lol
 
The sparklers thing I have. I think they are kind of cool

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_field_entoptic_phenomenon

Is that what it is? I have these too and I think the brain just isn't filtering it out properly. I got a friend of mine to see this stuff when he really looked for it. It just has to do with the white blood cells and they way optics works.
Yeah but I don't think it's cool lol it really makes me mad I have it and mines worse than that picture shows like mine is a bunch of them all over the place and all I have to do is just look in the sky and I see it everywhere I don't have to try to look for it. How long have you had it for and has it improved?
 
Could my tinnitus be related to grinding teeth? My dentist said I grind my teeth, and my jaw is often sore.

Absolutely. Tinnitus often worsens with momentary jaw clenching as a test you can do yourself, and jaw clenching itself is very common with MDMA etc too. But it could be a combination of things.

The jaw clenching is something to examine just to improve quality of life regardless, head pain is no bueno.
 
Yeah but I don't think it's cool lol it really makes me mad I have it and mines worse than that picture shows like mine is a bunch of them all over the place and all I have to do is just look in the sky and I see it everywhere I don't have to try to look for it. How long have you had it for and has it improved?

The blue sky phenomenon affects all people (this is something in the eye itself rather than HPPD which is in the brain) and many people who have never done drugs have visual snow as well, and sleep deprivation can cause visual snow - HPPD is usually pretty blatant however. Tracers, halos, very strong after images, swirling blobs and that sort of stuff that you can't miss (hence why it gives people so much anxiety lol).

In other words, if you only really have the blue sky phenomenon, then try not to worry too much about when it's going to go away - it was always there to begin with. You might have some mild HPPD that's caused you to pay more attention to the blue sky phenomenon but just be aware that's separate HPPD.
 
The blue sky phenomenon affects all people (this is something in the eye itself rather than HPPD which is in the brain) and many people who have never done drugs have visual snow as well, and sleep deprivation can cause visual snow - HPPD is usually pretty blatant however. Tracers, halos, very strong after images, swirling blobs and that sort of stuff that you can't miss (hence why it gives people so much anxiety lol).

In other words, if you only really have the blue sky phenomenon, then try not to worry too much about when it's going to go away - it was always there to begin with. You might have some mild HPPD that's caused you to pay more attention to the blue sky phenomenon but just be aware that's separate HPPD.
Yeah your right I deffenitly don't have HPPD then cause I don't have any of that stuff you mentioned halos, afterimage. Your also right with the fact that visual snow and the blue sky phenomenon can happen without drug use. For me after the last time I rolled it took a month to develop those things so the more I think about it the more I'm starting to think that it's all anxiety driven. I was going on the internet looking up symptoms freaking out for a month then boom I have some of it. my only problem now is I have to try to ignore it and not let it bother me till it goes away cause it's really distracting me
 
What I forgot to mention is that I can see it at anytime during the day if I look in the sky whether it's sunny or cloudy or partially cloudy. That's mainly why I don't think it's just blue sky phenomenon cause I think that only applies if it's a full blue sky
 
Another pats fan, nice that makes 2 of us on here!

I have the blue sky issue as well, but not very bad. If this is your only "HPPD" symptom, you'll be fine. Although sounds like it's not HPPD. One thing Dr. Abraham told me was to not "look" for your HPPD, and don't get anxious about it as this makes it worse. I've been bad at this....I'm always looking at my floaters and just waiting for the visual snow to pop up again.

One thing that has me a bit concerned is that if you get HPPD during one of your first trips or roll (like me)....it's likely "more-permanent" than someone who rolled or tripped a bunch them developed it....
 
yeahhhh pats going all the way!!! Haha but yeah that's what is worrying me I have only rolled 1 time and iv been a mess for 3 months now I just don't get it. I had no anxiety issue EVER before in my life and I have been fine with other drugs in the past ( obv those other drugs aren't as strong as ecstasy) but still half a pill shouldn't give you anything permanently I don't think. The only 2 things that have gone away for me so far is the fatigue and headaches for the most part. And also if I'm in my house and it's really sunny outside of I look at the ceiling I can also see the sparkles so I think it's a sunlight issue more than just s blue sky issue if that makes sense.
 
Adubbs, did Dr. A corroborate that second part? I saw it posted on a forum but wasn't sure if that was the docs opinion too.
 
It's essentially the light shining through the blood vessels that are making it through the gaps in between red blood cells etc that you're seeing with the blue sky phenomenon, so this should be preserved with other light as well, and you also do say it's better at night whereas typical HPPD can be worse at night, so I wouldn't worry too much about HPPD, visual snow and blue sky phenomenon type stuff is pretty common for normal people
 
Idk about Adubbs' last bit unless that came from Dr. A but even then it could potentially be explained IF it were indeed true.

If it were true then what could be happening is that people who have tripped acid hundreds of times are much more used to crazy visuals, are actively seeking such visuals, and thus don't mind HPPD too much and it goes away faster. Compared to a drug virgin having 100% normal vision (alcohol/weed doesn't alter vision that much) and then all of a sudden having HPPD and freaking out.
 
Yeah that is true I have read a lot about HPPD being way worse at night so that's out of the question. I keep going back to the fact that this has to be anxiety driven but to me it just doesn't all add up. In high school I did shrooms once and I had a terrible trip and just wanted it to be over the whole time freaking out and the next day I was 100 percent fine. With the ecstasy once I started to feel the effects it just didn't feel right like my body just felt wierd but I didn't freak out I was at a party and just continued drinking and having fun rest of night. Next morning I woke up feeling fine so the thought of anything bad was out of my mind...Later that day I was drinking a beer and all of a sudden started to feel the symptoms so it's not like I was freaking out the whole time that's what is confusing me
 
Yeah Dr. A didn't say that, but I'll try and find some sources. Seems to make sense though. Dr. A did did say though that he thinks a lot of HPPD cases are gene related....

On another note, your not alone PatsFan on having symptoms show up a day later.....for me on my third relapse they didn't get real real bad until 5 days later.
 
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