I think some people enjoy doing the standard drugs (weed and alcohol), but that they're never that into drugs... it's just something fun but they don't have a passion for altered states like we do. I know a lot of people that I went to high school with who smoked and drank sometimes, but who stopped doing it after college because for a lot of people, that means it's time to "get serious" and leave that "kid stuff" behind. The idea that psychedelics and weed aren't something a mature adult would do are pretty widespread. My ex, when we got together (first year of college) scoffed at me when I tried to tell her about psychedelics, she said "that stuff's for kids, grow up". Which is really ironic since psychedelics are actually better to use if you ARE grown up. One of my best friends in high school was the biggest pothead among us... he was the first to buy weed and was one of the heaviest smokers I knew. We all went to college, and for Thanksgiving that first year, just 2 months after going off to college (and keep in mind as a sendoff the night before we all went away, his idea was to bake out his car with a massive joint for each person), we all got back together while visiting home. We were like, hey guys, let's smoke. He gave us a serious stinkeye and was like, "do you guys seriously still do that shit? That shit's for kids man, I don't smoke anymore, I grew out of it", and then he proceeded to drink 20 beers that night instead. Apparently at his college that was the prevailing idea, when you get to college you grow up and stop smoking and start drinking. At least among the people he hung out with anyway.
Personally I don't see myself ever "growing out of" psychedelics.
Honestly, I think things have changed in those regards these days. It seemed to me like in high school, weed was soooo taboo (though not hard to find hahah). In the past years since I started toking though, I've noticed weed becoming more and more prevalent. People who used to chastise me in HS for being a pothead my senior year and whom I never would have guessed would ever do more than drink, are now doing blow and smoking weed, etc. Even got one of my oldest friends to try acid this summer, whom I always thought of as a 'pot only' kinda guy. It probably has something to do with weed becoming legal a few places in the states. When I'm around people younger than me, I hear them talk about getting high very frequently.
This weekend was one of the best/worst times of my life. Friday night I headed to our local Renfest. My girlfriend and I got pretty tipsy, but not too far, and spent a decent amount of time watching women play naked-jenga and hanging out with this group of campers who all wore kilts. I love how we can share an appreciation for the female form together 8) Saturday we went to the fair, started drinking right after our morning coffee. I was pretty tipsy by the time we got to the front gate. We saw less of the shows this year but spent more time appreciating the atmosphere, checking out shops, and talking strangers' ears off hah. I wore some lederhosen, but I was one of hundereds of guys in lederhosen hah. My friend came up with the idea of having me take a picture with anyone we saw in the same outfit, and I would go up to them first and be like, "Cool costume man! I haven't seen anyone all day wearing lederhosen!" We even got a picture of me giving a thumbs up behind a dude pissing hahah, we were pretty fucked up.
Where things got nasty was, I didn't end up eating much all day. I lost count of how many drinks I had that day, probably in excess of 20 though to be honest... by the time the fair closed and we made it back to camp, I was plastered. The last thing I remember was talking to some dudes from another town and then going with them back to their site to probably get high or something. Problem was, I lost them before I got to their campsite. I could barely see straight, I was stumbling and shouting at strangers and the like. I ended up finally trying to make my way back. Luckily our camp was pretty clear to see and I knew it was right on the tree line, so I slowly stumbled the half mile or so back to it. My friend found me asleep on the ground outside his tent and finally got me to get up and get in mine. When I awoke, it was to run out of the tent and start vomiting violently. I was poisoned. It was probably the worst pain of my life. I couldn't keep anything down, not even water. Every time I tried to hydrate, I'd hurl. I was hit with intermittent bouts of diarrhea. The porta-shitters were so vile smelling that I'd start to puke while on the can. It came out my nose in large volumes. I couldn't stop puking for about five hours and eventually my friends had to pack my stuff up for me while I laid on the ground puking and writhing in agony. It eventually slowed enough that I asked my girlfriend to drive us the two hours home. On the way I felt like utter hell, but luckily had a bag to hurl in. I was so dehydrated that I didn't start sweating or being able to piss until last night around 9pm.
I'm feeling marginally better today. My body still hates me and I anticipate it will for another day or two. I've decided that I cannot control myself when I drink, and must therefore quit... It was my favorite social drug, but this is it. I cannot handle it. I have to live without it, if anything to prove to myself that I am in control, that I can take care of myself and not bring myself to the brink of death. This is the third, and worst time this has happened. Third time's the charm as they say. Well it damn well better be, because I have a feeling I could die if I ever reached that point again.
My best advice is, be chill, let it happen, don't try to force anything.
