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for those of you trying to kick

BeatTheSickness

BeatTheSickness

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 13, 2016
Messages
81
don't give up. anyone who has gotten clean and even relapsed many times will tell you the empowerment you feel once you get back or even close, rather, to normal. life will be beautiful again.

one of the things I've realized prevents users from making it to the other side that doesn't get talked about is how different your reality will be. you're probably not going to like it until you get used to it again. the smells, especially cleaning products and old-lady perfumes can be a very annoying thing to deal with, along with just being able to even smell the room you are in. I would compare it to being born, again, since you are subject to a completely different world (being so used to what it is like on the dark side), and forced to deal. hang in there

what are some things that typically annoy the shit out of you when you're trying to kick and tempt you to relapse?
 
My parents, they are kinda getting up there and they can bug the shit out of me if I spend to much time around them. I love them to death, but they are just people too, no one is perfect. Then again, they bugged the shit out of me before I got clean too. I feel like things dont necessarily totally change when we start to recoverg. I mean, they totally are different, but in ter of the things that bug us it is like we are getting to know our old selves again, while discovering who we really are without drugs at the same time. Heavy shit!
 
=D Don't take this wrong, but I laughed when I read both of your posts. Maybe it's the MMJ I'm trying, but I don't think so. I have a macabre sense of humor and speak bluntly I'm told. I just don't roll turds in sugar and serve them for chocolate truffles.

Parents will always irritate you...even long after you become a parent! They just get older (lady perfumes) and meaner, especially. Oh, and they require a lot more cleaning products!

I needed this, though I am sorry for your struggles. =D Laughter is GOOD! A sense of humor is HEALING!

I am almost 55, the youngest of 6. Yet I am the "Messiah" for my family. No, I didn't ask for the job or the stress.

My mom is 90, living in a nursing home. She's there because she's EVIL...I can't take the abuse. I joke that I need body armor to visit the "Spawn of Satan. I have to oversee her medical care. I wish I could blame (um, take) drugs or alcohol, but it's not. I think her gene pool was muddy!

XOXO
 
toothpastedog said:
...the things that bug us it is like we are getting to know our old selves again, while discovering who we really are without drugs at the same time. Heavy shit!
Click to expand...

and toothpaste, couldn't have said it better man.

yikes dude how right you are.. very nicely spoken....!

all of it...the smells...it's such a sobering feeling and man when you're not used to that it's a key element in relapse.

What I just quoted you on, sir, I thank you -- it really gave me a burst of confidence when I read it, having a momentary lapse of reason reassuring the "bigger picture" reasons of importance to my overall health and well-being on a scale of my lifetime.

Has any one else had good mental revelation or insight when using Marijuana while trying to kick? I find it very inspiring and fulfilling..
 
I have in ways, but more like creativity in terms of my writing. I get more inspired and insightful when I put on my trusty old psychonaut goggles :)
 
still jammin on your comment about how you get to know your own self. MAN how right you are -- because it's so easy to forget who you were/are when you dedicate every day to cheating through life and not having to deal with the dull moments as opposed to most people.

I'd like to come to a complete understand as to why I feel the need to escape reality. I've been clean for almost four months this time after a half dozen relapses, but yet if I don't have some grass I feel anxious and trapped and bored and just depressed it's really sad -- why must I escape reality? why can't I just be content with having a nice roof over my head with great food, great people, a nice paying job, etc.. the list of blessings is endless, yet I still feel the need to have something that alters reality. I crave closure on this. and at the moment my uneducated mind on this subject blames it on ptsd or anxiety or add/adhd or paws. I just wish I was 21 again and could change my way of thinking.


does anyone else feel that if they had put as much time and energy into their DOC into perpetuating a healthy and wealthy lifestyle that you'd be a millionaire traveling the world and learning about different cultures and meeting people all around the world?
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I have a good gripe about getting sober. The massive upswing in libido during acute withdrawal that has you punching yourself in the crotch.
 
Something toothpastedog said in another thread has stuck with me. He told me to go back to when I was first getting sober and look at things with beginner's eyes. The more I think about this, the more I try to incorporate this into my life. It seems that sometimes the memory of just how bad it was fades and I have a hard time remembering the life and death feeling I had in detox and rehab. It is helping me get that drive to do what it takes to be sober.
 
Yup, I learned that concept in my meditation practice. It is called "beginner's mind," and is invaluable. I am glad my post has helped you Zack :)
 
Sometimes I obsess about things I cannot change. I have to be reminded sometimes of what I was originally seeking. I find myself wrapped up in stupid things, thinking about things so deeply that I do not act on changing them. In the beginning I was so full of willingness to change anything in my life, and now I need to get back to that feeling. My brother is moving into town. My family will nearly be whole again. Change is hard for me because of the OCD. I am always wary...but in this situation I have to welcome change. Embrace it because I truly love my brother rather than worrying about all the bad things that could happen.

I said it in a quote "When seeking answers be wary to not forget the question."
 
Beginner's mind is a kind of perspective that treats everything as a learning experience, as something new and fresh, open to the possibility of a different perspective. I will write back more later. Curiosity and enthusiasm are inportant parts of it, as is willingness. Desire plays a role too.
 
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