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Social The Delphic Oracle - Know Thyself: P&S Social Ampitheatre of Doom

willow11 said:
I actually do have a beneficial meditation practise, though I have been slack recently. I try to meditate for at least 30mins a day, in two sessions. I cannot describe how useful this is to me... Raw food diet sounds interesting. What is shadow-work?
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There is a thread about it I tried to make around Christmas and some useful links there. I guess there won't be that much enthusiasm for something like that in a drug-community, as you actually have to face your demons, just what most are trying to avoid. You feel a lot worse at first, but then you feel better.

The idea is you have a lot of your life-force or soul-energy bound up in repressing negative experiences and emotions that you have had since childhood. It takes up a lot of energy just to suppress one issue, so the more you have the less positive energy you have at your disposal. With time it can get so bad there is hardly any good energy available anymore and that leads to depression and negativity in general.

Shadow-work is basically doing what it takes to free up that energy. Mostly just by making the unconscious conscious, or bringing the suppressed negativity up to the surface. You let it flow through you and hold it in your consciousness and it slowly dissolves. Some things need to be dealt with more than once. You also try not to create new blockages or deal with stuff when you go through it instead of suppressing it.
 
willow11 said:
Thanks for the kind thoughts of most here, it is appreciated. I've been sober/straight for the last 3 days, feeling pretty good. Had some mild withdrawal from codeine but nothing major. Hopefully this depression lifts soon. I do feel a bit clearer. Have found myself some really nice LSD, had a half-dose yesterday at work. Now, LSD is a genuine effective anti-depressant. :)



Thanks man. I don't want to trouble anyone; I have enough experience dealing with mental illness to have an awareness of how this shit will play out but you're right, this depression is/was deep. And yet, during it, I still get huge rushes of insane contentment and euphoria when I simply KNOW I am on the right track.

Getting better I hope. :)



I'm not actually addicted to heroin. I haven't actually used it in over four years. My remark was a flippant retort to Kittycat who said oxycodone is a better anti-d than codeine, I 'one upped' him...:\ It was a facetious line of conversation. I haven't even been tempted to take heroin once in the last few years... I appreciate your thoughts but figured I should explain what's really happening. The opiates that I use tend to be codeine and occaisionally methadone. I really really do not want to anymore, especially the codeine. The whole CWE worries me; I feel it is imprecise. I'm sure that I inadvertently ingest too much paracetemol and ibuprofen; this has caused me immense anxiety TBH, moreso when I just blithely continue doing it. Anyway, codeine is getting massively restricted in Australia now so its not viable any longer.

I'm looking into ibogaine. Every time I face a slight challenge, usually something emotionally difficult, I find my brain suggesting drugs. Maladaptive and destructive. As turk said, these things are not effective for mood modification in the long term. I literally feel a huge increase in suicidal thoughts when I am not on opiates. Its just abstract and with little emotional content, but it is troubling that my subconscious almost 'uses' suicide as a threat.



I actually do have a beneficial meditation practise, though I have been slack recently. I try to meditate for at least 30mins a day, in two sessions. I cannot describe how useful this is to me... Raw food diet sounds interesting. What is shadow-work?



The 'love life' comment needs context behind it to make sense. For me, taking large doses is just a fact, it doesn't really "suck". In my hey-day, I have taken enormously stupid doses of codeine, 1600mg, and (obviously) survived. I am sure you understand the concept of perma-tolerance. Even being abstinent from opiates for 12 months did little to reset my tolerance.

Interesting that you say "allowed". I don't think any addict (junky as you put it) allows themselves to get addicted. Addiction can bypass reason and conscience, it is insidious in that sense. It can hijack decision making to the extent that it feels like a genuine obvious and clear choice to use and not a compulsion- which it is. If you haven't had a serious addiction (though weed can be very addictive to some- not trying to negate your experience) it may be hard to understand.
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Hey willow! Usually I depressivly rumble through my stash if I'm upset. My friend as of late has been mister percocet. I'll be quitting for a bit though because I have to get bloodwork done soon and I don't need my doctor shooting me dirty looks for self medicating.
 
I wouldn't worry about CWE, willow. As long as the end product's volume and the amount of the suspension is always the same. It's actually quite hard to get rid of the little particles that make the solution look a bit milky. I tried vacuum filtering with different glass filters (pretty fine filters too) and the filtrate was still a suspension. The floating particles are really-really small, which also explains why they don't settle.

I'm glad to hear you're in a better mindstate now, though.

I gave cannabis another try after 2 years of no smoking, and I have to say I quite liked it. This might be what I need to significantly reduce my codeine use.
 
I believe in you willow, you're a beautiful dude with a lot to offer. My life is better for reading your posts throughout the years. <3
 
Aww guys, my cheeks are all red now. My face too :D

B_d, r u extracting codeine from paracetamol/combo? My technique is sound, dissolve pills in cold water, squeeze through tight fabric, cool down a bit more and then filter with coffee filters. End product is always cloudy though which concerns me.
 
Cool.

So, after 5 monutes of comparative thinking, I decided to inslufflate 40mg of 2C-D and a hal that in MXE. Hot damn. Great combo this, fractal shimmer and really weirdness :) <3

Hard to focus thouh.

Feeling really fucking weird!!!! :D <3 The world is quite baffling to m atm, I fel like I am everything at once

Aww, can'y spell it woudl apprear/ Oh well, the bulk should be readable... <3

Bulk of what?

:D

Willow confused.

Swilow is too... :D

I think me and my brain are going to go for a joint-oriented walk.

edit- hopefully my mod bro's and sis can merge my tripped out garabange into one post like a great pie.
 
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swilow said:
Aww guys, my cheeks are all red now. My face too :D

B_d, r u extracting codeine from paracetamol/combo? My technique is sound, dissolve pills in cold water, squeeze through tight fabric, cool down a bit more and then filter with coffee filters. End product is always cloudy though which concerns me.
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Yes, from paracetamol combo. The cloudiness is both binders and paracetamol would be my guess. And no, there's not a lot of it. I evaporated the solution a few times to see how much residue I'd get and it was within reasonable limits. Binders typically aren't toxic in high doses, but in this case you aren't even taking high doses. No more than 1 pill's worth.

E: lol, nice spam, swilow!
 
Eevrything feels liek the same thing my coworker bliss, my piano, my incipient DEFCON 1.

Got some amazing synaesthesia happening. All sense are blending. Interesting..

My teeth feel like they are growing.
 
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