• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: streaM Freak

April Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. The Snow is Melting!

Status
Not open for further replies.
Today has been the hardest day for me (recovery-wise) since I started subs three weeks ago. I'm craving again. Not like before I started suboxone, but definitely there. And the anxiety and depression that always came along with craving are also back. Again, they're minor compared to what I used to deal with, but not trivial either. Writing is about the only thing that consistently knocks these down, when I'm able to do it.

Hence... the writing!
 
hell yeah man. it may not excite you to think about, but I PROMISE this method works to relieve anxiety without the use of substances: exercise. I recommend riding a bike, skateboarding, doing something that is physically demanding, but not something that may bore you such as running or whatever dull activity comes to mind when you think of the word exercise lol...

But the key is that you must force yourself. I find every single time, without fail, after about 10 to 15 minutes of skateboarding my mental state has completely transferred from an anxiety riddled state, to a very empowering and mentally aware state. You just have to break through.
 
BeatTheSickness said:
hell yeah man. it may not excite you to think about, but I PROMISE this method works to relieve anxiety without the use of substances: exercise. I recommend riding a bike, skateboarding, doing something that is physically demanding, but not something that may bore you such as running or whatever dull activity comes to mind when you think of the word exercise lol...

But the key is that you must force yourself. I find every single time, without fail, after about 10 to 15 minutes of skateboarding my mental state has completely transferred from an anxiety riddled state, to a very empowering and mentally aware state. You just have to break through.
Click to expand...

damn, i want to skateboard! i'm so old, jesus. i'd probably break a hip. ;)

seriously though, i know you're right. i used to be an avid exerciser. now taking the dog for a walk is about all i can muster. i will definitely try to bring it back into my life. (there's a skate park about 2 blocks from my house...i wonder if i dare)
 
it's key. the only reason why it's difficult is because that immediate reward (like when using drugs) isn't readily available, it has to be earned, and that means work, and thats the opposite of drugs haha
 
simco said:
Today has been the hardest day for me (recovery-wise) since I started subs three weeks ago. I'm craving again. Not like before I started suboxone, but definitely there. And the anxiety and depression that always came along with craving are also back. Again, they're minor compared to what I used to deal with, but not trivial either. Writing is about the only thing that consistently knocks these down, when I'm able to do it.

Hence... the writing!
Click to expand...

Hey Simco,

I started subs last month, BTH 1.5 years before that.

It really helped me make the impossible possible, keep you head up and heart strong. Just keep positive thinking, what helped me is during my suboxone detox from BTH I tried working out again, it really kept my mind off the craving ( I had to go get dope while quitting for another BTH addict that couldn't quit) I'm not saying I had it harder I am just trying to relate to you knowing that I had to pick up dope 48hours clean for a person who threatened to blackmail me if I didn't get it for them...

I've been clean from subs for 6 days now! Staying strong, acute withdrawals setting in but its not anywhere near the BTH 72 hours.
 
Thanks, Reise. Wow, the WD from subs is starting at day 6? I knew it was slow to come on, but wow. Anyhow, you're doing awesome, man.

The cravings are still on today, but I'm trying to keep busy and active.

One kinda funny thing. Someone's started dropping used needles around my neighborhood (which is weird b/c its just a regular old suburban area)... every time I go for a walk, I see the exact rigs I used to get from the needle exchange. Talk about triggers. Sigh.

But it's a lovely day, I shouldn't complain. :)
 
simco said:
Thanks, Reise. Wow, the WD from subs is starting at day 6? I knew it was slow to come on, but wow. Anyhow, you're doing awesome, man.

The cravings are still on today, but I'm trying to keep busy and active.

One kinda funny thing. Someone's started dropping used needles around my neighborhood (which is weird b/c its just a regular old suburban area)... every time I go for a walk, I see the exact rigs I used to get from the needle exchange. Talk about triggers. Sigh.

But it's a lovely day, I shouldn't complain. :)
Click to expand...

I've found lots of used rigs and bags of drugs in my neighborhood... really sad because of how far away we are from the exchange. :|

Stay strong man!
 
Man, today I went to the ATM and got money to cop. Stupid since I know with the subs in my system I can't get high. At least I could get the rush from buying, though.

But I talked myself down.

Just finished reading the last 100 pages of a great book. Gonna grab another one. Staying busy.

I hope everyone's doing well.
 
simco said:
Man, today I went to the ATM and got money to cop. Stupid since I know with the subs in my system I can't get high. At least I could get the rush from buying, though.

But I talked myself down.

Just finished reading the last 100 pages of a great book. Gonna grab another one. Staying busy.

I hope everyone's doing well.
Click to expand...

Get yourself some music, clothes, tickets to a show, to a museum, or go to a taco truck and get a hundred $1 tacos!! =D

There's so much you can do with money that isn't drugs, stay strong man! I'm so proud of you for talking yourself out of it! That's so awesome!

What book did you finish up? I love reading! War and Peace is my favorite novel series, I read it in 6 weeks last summer, and am working on my own novel. %)
 
fuck... my browser keeps erasing my post when i "save" it. bummer.

maybe it will save this time (no emojis).
....

thanks, CH! that's cool that you're writing a novel. how long have you been working on it?

the book i finished was Helter Skelter, the true-crime treatment of the Manson murders. kind of a guilty pleasure, my fondness for true crime.
 
Last edited:
Hi Simco: I have read some of your posts and you sound good now... I did not know you were suffering so much in the past. It is nice to see you posting regularly. I continue to take my prescribed opiates and worry about all this turmoil over prescription opiates. I try and taper to be able to build a nice stash for if/when I get cut off, but with tolerance being what it is, I continue to fail. However, I do not go to the streets so I make do with what I get each month. Otherwise, my life is pretty peaceful.

Hey CH: Hope Spring break is fun and restful!
 
Hi POkemama! Great to hear from you. Sounds like you're taking care of yourself, which is good. I totally identify with one thing you said: "I continue to fail." If someone writes a real book about quitting opiates, that should be the title :\. It captures the experience (at least my experience) really well.

But you're right; things are better. I'm kinda feeling back in the land of the living. The last year was purely awful. Got really close to cashing it in several times... both on purpose and "accidentally."

It really is great to hear from you.

Peace,
Sim
 
Yep, "I continue to fail" would make a great title of a realistic book about opiate addiction, Sim. I was one of those people who could pull some type of ego saving win or silver lining out of any situation in my life. Not so with opiates. First time I have ever had to admit to myself that I fail, and fail constantly. Not to be a "Debby Downer" to those who come here and are successful in getting clean and sober on one or two tries. I have read some inspiring accounts of people's success in beating their addictions, hence one of the reasons I hang out around BL. However, many people also post about the many, many tries it has taken them to kick for a substantial length of time. I like the persistence part... that gives me hope. Which is why I will continue to try and kick and/or taper as often as is necessary until I am clean again.

And, if it is a forced situation, in that my doctor does fire me, or the DEA has its way with all opiate pills being flushed down the biggest toilet in the world, and I have to go cold turkey not of my own doing, I will make it through with support from BL.

And Sim, tears come to my eyes to read about you hitting a bottom where you wanted to end it... please, please PM me if you ever need some support. I am grateful that you are on sub maintenance and are stable now... hopefully your life will get better and those hopeless thoughts will be just dim memories.
 
CH: That sounds so nice... hiking in a state park.... I am guessing CA, but I could be way off track. Between the exercise and the beauty of nature, I am thinking your mood was quite positive.
 
Naw, I think that fool is now in CO or some shit :p

Lets see if I can get my shit together this week and find a job in portland... not the worst goal I've ever set my eyes one, for sure :D
 
Snow hasn't stopped here lol. But now I'm over the acute wd it was so nice to go for a run around the lake. Peaceful and nature is like a drug to me. I'm so happy I did this. It's sunny. I hear birds cherping and this is exactly what I need right now
 
So jealous you get to experience the snow. I so miss the snow. Especially considering tis the season of spring :) snow --> spring is sooooooo cool
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top