I thought of dosing just as needed e.g. when feeling really anxious, or PAWS caused by methadone withdrawal.
This is almost exactly where i fucked up with flubromazolam.
I was going through opiate (not methadone, granted) PAWS, and found myself using benzos frequently - so frequently, that i was soon physically dependant; which is far scarier than the habit i was already working through conquering.
Several months of using this stuff gave me more problems than all my years of drug taking (including ~10 dope habit) combined.
No exaggeration!
I'm talking WD seizures (when i guess i forgot to take a dose), ambulance to emergency, psychosis (no prior history), psych ward.
Followed an inpatient detox and a lengthy supervised taper.
It made coming off opiates seem like a breeze (i kicked opiates at home, never attended detox/rehab/NA or anything like that).
On top of that is the fact that i have
huge holes in my memory from the period i was using flubromazolam.
I forgot important things at work, forgot events i had attended, conversations i'd had, things i had done and pretty much everything that happened over the course of a few months.
Its a really unsettling thing to experience.
Especially when you
forget to dose, and wake up in an ambulance.
Besides being so much more dangerous and unpredictable - i really think your situation (which is similar to where i was at) is a particularly risky plan, for several reasons.
For one thing, if you are experiencing opiate PAWS, you are
already in a really vulnerable place, in regards to addictive behaviours.
If you plan to dose when you feel anxious, you may well find reasons to take a dose much more often that you anticipated - due to the struggle with addiction you are already engaged in, as well as the sedating nature of benzos (which works dangerously well for opiate PAWS) - both of which are compounded by the tendency to black out, redose, realise that you've been dosing daily for days, weeks, months etc etc.
I'm better now, but it took the best part of a year from my initial downward spiral into benzo addiction to get back to a position of focus and self control. Before kicking opiates, benzos held little appeal to me - and i was fully aware of how dangerously addictive they are - but i came across stupid quantities of f-lam powder, and spent several months out of my mind - before scaring the shit out of all my friends and family with the seizures and two weeks in hospital.
On top of all of that is my memory, which is still not the same.
I'm not the kind of person that normally says "stay away from this shit - its just dangerous" - because i have always been adventurous with drugs. But i learned a tough lesson with this RC.