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Guys who lives with mom

CoastTwoCoast

CoastTwoCoast

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2016
Messages
5,759
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Dancing on the corpses' ashes
I find a lot of these types on dating sites along with types who are obsessed with videogames. My longest relationship was with a guy who lives with his mom. I wasn't crazy about meeting her and interacting with her, but she's a nice lady. I mostly stayed in my ex's room upstairs. The mom would be downstairs, but we'd still have to cross paths eventually and I HATE small talk. And we'd eat dinner together with my b/f. This woman rarely left the house.

It was really awkward when we'd have sex and his mom's bedroom was next door. I felt horrible and sometimes it would be on my mind while we were having sex, wondering what she was hearing or whatever. He had no plans to move anytime soon.

So now I met a guy I have tons in common with, but turns out he lives with his mom. He plans on moving. He doesn't get along with her and said "She's a lot to take". She must be a real pain in the fucking ass. Maybe we can go to concerts and movies together, but that's it. Just a buddy. I'm never being in a relationship with a guy who lives with his mom again. You start to feel like you're in a relationship with her too, not just your boyfriend. Fuck that. Dating makes me sick. I hate it all. I don't think I ever want a relationship again. They feel like a prison. Have you dealt with guys who live with their mom? Was it awkward?
 
I don't think you should ever move in with someone and their mom... unless the mom is sick and needs to be take care of. Other than that, yeah, no. Lol. Is that normal for Americans? o.O? Sounds strange.
 
How old is he? Anyone living with their mom after the age of 30 is loserville. They have all kinds of excuses, usually lame and that life was terrible to them. Yeah, no. Get it together. If he's over 30 and living there for a while already, he's never leaving. She's probably a pain in the ass because deep down she knows he's a loser but he won't leave.

25-30 is acceptable if in college.
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
I don't think you should ever move in with someone and their mom... unless the mom is sick and needs to be take care of. Other than that, yeah, no. Lol. Is that normal for Americans? o.O? Sounds strange.
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As far as my ex: I didn't move in, but there were times Inwas there on weekdays. We mostly saw each other only on the weekend though and even that was more than enough. I just got sick of her being around and eventually fell out of love with him and got sick of him too. Not a good situation. His mom isn't that sick where she needs to be looked after. His excuse is no other family member lives near and he doesn't want to move just in case something happens. Whatever.
I just know I'm not being cooped up with a guy and his mom ever again. Lesson learned.
 
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Lysis said:
How old is he? Anyone living with their mom after the age of 30 is loserville. They have all kinds of excuses, usually lame and that life was terrible to them. Yeah, no. Get it together. If he's over 30 and living there for a while already, he's never leaving. She's probably a pain in the ass because deep down she knows he's a loser but he won't leave.

25-30 is acceptable if in college.
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My ex is about 30 now and working. I could tell he had no plans to leave because he likes to feel like he's needed so she's not alone. He needs to live his own life though! She's not sickly. She takes care of most things on her own. It's just an excuse. This new guy who lives with his mom is 39. He's been on his own before, but had to end up moving back. He does actively plan on moving, but I can't see this going anywhere even though we get on so well. I could use someone to see a movie with or concerts so maybe we'll just be friends.
Thanks for responding. You're right.
 
Yeah, err, I don't think you should pursue that romantically. My mother only has me in the entire country and doesn't speak english fluently... and I still moved out. About 15 minutes away, to stay close to her, but yeah, still moved out so no excuses. Lol.
 
There's a name for that. I think its man-child. I moved out at age 17 and would prefer to be homeless than go back. It's freakishly common in the US and even in Europe. these European man-boys are in their 30s and still live with their mother, no job, smoke dope, play video games, no ambition, no gf. Women don't want them.

I'm sure your boys mother lies awake in bed and listens to every squeak kof the bed springs coming from his room.
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
My ex is about 30 now and working. I could tell he had no plans to leave because he likes to feel like he's needed so she's not alone. He needs to live his own life though! She's not sickly. She takes care of most things on her own. It's just an excuse. This new guy who lives with his mom is 39. He's been on his own before, but had to end up moving back. He does actively plan on moving, but I can't see this going anywhere even though we get on so well. I could use someone to see a movie with or concerts so maybe we'll just be friends.
Thanks for responding. You're right.
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ew no, not 39. Loser.

I did date someone who claimed mom lived with him. His mom was older, and he had the master bedroom so it made sense. As I went over there, I noticed more and more that mom was doing a lot and things weren't adding up. Figured out that mom just gave him the master bathroom because some moms let their kids walk all over them because "he's my son." They would have arguments in front of me (awkward) and she didn't speak any english, but I started picking up on "my house." LOL

I lost all respect and it didn't last long after that. We broke up for other reasons, but looking back I'm glad it ended. Weird thing is that I think he really believed she lived with him even though he did nothing. The house was paid for in cash, so there was no mortgage, but she did everything around the house.

It's hard to respect anyone who can't pull it together when you yourself are able to survive on your own for so long. Like socko, I'll kill myself before I go back to living with my mom. Haven't been there since 20 and will never go back.
 
Lysis said:
ew no, not 39. Loser.

some moms let their kids walk all over them because "he's my son." They would have arguments in front of me (awkward) and she didn't speak any english, but I started picking up on "my house." LOL

I lost all respect and it didn't last long after that. We broke up for other reasons, but looking back I'm glad it ended. Weird thing is that I think he really believed she lived with him even though he did nothing. The house was paid for in cash, so there was no mortgage, but she did everything around the house.
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It sounds like the son was bullying and verbally abusing his mother as well as taking advantage of her kindness.
 
socko said:
There's a name for that. I think its man-child. I moved out at age 17 and would prefer to be homeless than go back. It's freakishly common in the US and even in Europe. these European man-boys are in their 30s and still live with their mother, no job, smoke dope, play video games, no ambition, no gf. Women don't want them.

I'm sure your boys mother lies awake in bed and listens to every squeak kof the bed springs coming from his room.
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Guys who play video games all day is another turn off, it's usually the same kind that live with mommy. You could throw a rock and hit a guy like this on a dating site. My ex did have a good job at least, but as time went on, I found out he was way into World Of Warcraft. And you're right, I'm sure his mom heard everything going on in the bedroom. Disturbing. I felt bad for her as far as that went.
 
Lysis said:
ew no, not 39. Loser.

I did date someone who claimed mom lived with him. His mom was older, and he had the master bedroom so it made sense. As I went over there, I noticed more and more that mom was doing a lot and things weren't adding up. Figured out that mom just gave him the master bathroom because some moms let their kids walk all over them because "he's my son." They would have arguments in front of me (awkward) and she didn't speak any english, but I started picking up on "my house." LOL

I lost all respect and it didn't last long after that. We broke up for other reasons, but looking back I'm glad it ended. Weird thing is that I think he really believed she lived with him even though he did nothing. The house was paid for in cash, so there was no mortgage, but she did everything around the house.

It's hard to respect anyone who can't pull it together when you yourself are able to survive on your own for so long. Like socko, I'll kill myself before I go back to living with my mom. Haven't been there since 20 and will never go back.
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YESSSS!!! The move is for the guy to say his mom lives with HIM! So then it doesn't seem like he's just living under her roof. Anytime a guy says his mom lives with HIM, I already know it's a lie. It can be a situation like that, but it's very rare! If I start dating again, I'll ask upfront what the living situation is. I want a guy who lives alone or I understand if he has a couple roommates. I'd prefer not to deal with roommates either, but that's how it is these days. Still better than a mom situation.

You can only take these things as a lesson learned. I was talking to a guy on a dating site the other day and he said right now he's working on himself and doesn't have a car or anything so why the fuck are you on a dating site?! You will encounter all kinds of guys who don't drive. Waste of time.
 
socko said:
It sounds like the son was bullying and verbally abusing his mother as well as taking advantage of her kindness.
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Yeah, looking back it was not good. Their arguments were in Spanish, so I could only pick up on a few things here and there. I never really did get the whole story, but the dad died and left a huge trust for both of them. He never had to do anything his whole life because trust+living with mom.

Just bad things all around. Don't regret that ending at all.
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
YESSSS!!! The move is for the guy to say his mom lives with HIM! So then it doesn't seem like he's just living under her roof. Anytime a guy says his mom lives with HIM, I already know it's a lie. It can be a situation like that, but it's very rare! If I start dating again, I'll ask upfront what the living situation is. I want a guy who lives alone or I understand if he has a couple roommates. I'd prefer not to deal with roommates either, but that's how it is these days. Still better than a mom situation.

You can only take these things as a lesson learned. I was talking to a guy on a dating site the other day and he said right now he's working on himself and doesn't have a car or anything so why the fuck are you on a dating site?! You will encounter all kinds of guys who don't drive. Waste of time.
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lol yeah, I'll take it as one of my life lessons for sure. Definitely stay away from them.

lol @ the car thing.

You sound like you're in my dating arena, and I dunno wtf happen with men 35+. Jfc. lol It's like they just decided to quit life. I don't get it sometimes.

Sometimes, I just want to say "uhhh, you know like lots of people have jobs they hate and an ex they despise... but you still gotta work, bro." lol
 
Well for me personally, I won't avoid dating a chick, just 'cause she lives with her parents. Times are tough, shit's expensive.. Plus it's not a bad idea not to throw away all your money on rent, and to save it to buy a house down the road. So I guess it kind of depends on the circumstance as to why they're living there.


- Hopeless Soul
 
haha, I don't mean any offense at all but i read your post word-for-word aloud to my S/O and had many, many sensible chuckles

yeah... no. it seems like your method for seeking men is broken? online dating sites just aren't the way to go - I admit I don't have a lot of experience in them, but they seem to attract the type of women I am simply not attracted to. example: lives with parents, on lots of meds, no job, about as social as a rock

I have been out of the dating game for decades (pretty much jumped from one LTR to another last 15 years... but what ever happened to just going out for a cup of coffee/seeing a band/going to a bar? do people really not meet people that way anymore? seems like you will have heaps better chances to meet a Young Professional grabbing coffee + working for his company remotely than hitting up plentyoffish.com??

and although many 30 + y/o guys suck - please do not think that women are impervious. there are tons of loser-ass women out there, bimbos, that as soon as they find out I have a decent job + not an ogre in the looks dept. pretty much throw themselves at me (I am no Adonis, I used to look good but now I am nothing special). these types of trashy women have even done it right in front of my Wife! so please... like most things concerning us humans -- it goes both ways %)
 
Lysis said:
How old is he? Anyone living with their mom after the age of 30 is loserville. They have all kinds of excuses, usually lame and that life was terrible to them. Yeah, no. Get it together. If he's over 30 and living there for a while already, he's never leaving. She's probably a pain in the ass because deep down she knows he's a loser but he won't leave.

25-30 is acceptable if in college.
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this

you might stay with your mum if you have something shit in your life but i think the key part is the length of continuous time they spent there. if it is over a year and they have a job and they were not saving for a mortgage then no its incredibly lazy
 
7nos-SS373dOH said:
Well for me personally, I won't avoid dating a chick, just 'cause she lives with her parents. Times are tough, shit's expensive.. Plus it's not a bad idea not to throw away all your money on rent, and to save it to buy a house down the road. So I guess it kind of depends on the circumstance as to why they're living there.


- Hopeless Soul
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I'm the same way. But everyone's different.
 
I believe the strive for something better is more important then ones living arrangements. Perhaps its because as my 29th birthday approaches I still live with my parents. There is a number of factors that influenced this but I do actually plan to be out by 30 because theres no way I am going to have the same view in the morning at 30 as I did when i was a teenager. Sure I moved out for college, furnished an apartment, cook my own meals and all that comes with having your own place I just fell into heroin addiction after college so yeah between bills and dope, then just dope and more dope, this is the first year i am actually able to have extra money.

But I am full of ambition and drive (lacking drive at the moment just got off methadone) but I think that is what is key. I never set out to do nothing, quite the opposite, and now that im free of addition and burden for the first time in like 6 years I think i can get the ball rolling.

But yeah ive thought about it and i wouldnt invite a girl over my parents place after an evening out so I'm also single for the first time in 6 years, also the first time where i wasnt in high school or college where either my parents house or apartment would have been acceptable. I am definitely feeling way different about living with my parents then when i was in a relationship LOL
 
Good for you kicking your habit and moving on with your life. Drugs make you stagnant. Throwing away money on it and getting high, it becomes your whole life. Next thing you know, years and years have passed and you're stuck in the exact same place. Going nowhere.
I'm glad you have ambition now. You're right, it's important. When you give up on your life, you don't want to make any improvements at all.
 
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