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do you tell your new lover your job or do you lie in case he doesn't like it?

Justcanthelpmyself said:
Times up sooner or later..you say you want a BF and want to get married..so does this mean having children? If the answer is yes it's all gonna blow up in your face is my guess. You're dreaming long term but living just for the 'now' which is okay for 'now'. What do you reckon this guy does while he's off on these business trips?.. STDs could well be or already be on the way couldn't they? and if whatever BF you have is loyal that's going to be an even more shit way for him to find out.
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i think i'll quit now, i would love a full family life, and i've got lots of ca$h socked away now anyway :D i always get along with kids, and would prefer my own. my doctor tested me, i'm clean as butter thank you!
 
Im guessing nicks are panties? Ask yourself this... would it not bother u if his dick were in another vagina earlier that day and he had no boxers on? It would give him a free pass to sleep with whom ever he wanted. Sime guys might like an arrangement like that.
 
My3sons said:
Im guessing nicks are panties? Ask yourself this... would it not bother u if his dick were in another vagina earlier that day and he had no boxers on? It would give him a free pass to sleep with whom ever he wanted. Sime guys might like an arrangement like that.
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yep knickers but i say knicks for short. my boss doesn't let us wear them at his house. no i don't want to share my bfs dick with another girl, he is husband material, he taught at my high school.
 
staregiver said:
yep knickers but i say knicks for short. my boss doesn't let us wear them at his house. no i don't want to share my bfs dick with another girl, he is husband material, he taught at my high school.
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What about if he is only allowed to fool around with other guys? Because that would be the same thing you are asking of him isn't it?

I'm sure you could find plenty of men happy for you to be a paid sex toy for another man, particularly if you are paid well for your time. However I do believe that the chances of this particular boyfriend being happy with the current situation to be quite low.
 
It's a really tough position and most men would not like it whatsoever and you know exactly why. Just like porn stars, men will date them and think it's awesome until they start to love them and then they don't want them to work anymore. There are people out there who would be secure enough to be fine with it, that are ok with polyamory or are able to differentiate between your work and your love for them, which of them actually means something.

I personally think you should be honest from the get go because if he ever does find out and he is madly in love wih you it will destroy him. It sounds stereotypical but the male ego is fragile and that may or may not go against his image of what love and dedication is. He could implode, people commit murder over sexual things and being madly in love with someone. It's your deal and you are in the thick of it but I would personally want to know. I myself am a fucking weirdo and conventional relationships and love are foreign concepts to me so I would take it differently and I hate violence. People can hurt me in the worst way and I will never resort to violence but it is a very real possibility of being completely disillusioned and having your heart broken.
 
maxload said:
What about if he is only allowed to fool around with other guys? Because that would be the same thing you are asking of him isn't it? I'm sure you could find plenty of men happy for you to be a paid sex toy for another man, particularly if you are paid well for your time. However I do believe that the chances of this particular boyfriend being happy with the current situation to be quite low.
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if my current bf was with other bfs i think i would still be jealous :(. i think about my current bf even when i'm in the hands of my boss and colleague so i definitelt want my current bf badly. i'm quitting my job today, because all i can think about is my current bf.
Ligaturd said:
It's a really tough position and most men would not like it whatsoever and you know exactly why. Just like porn stars, men will date them and think it's awesome until they start to love them and then they don't want them to work anymore. There are people out there who would be secure enough to be fine with it, that are ok with polyamory or are able to differentiate between your work and your love for them, which of them actually means something. I personally think you should be honest from the get go because if he ever does find out and he is madly in love wih you it will destroy him. It sounds stereotypical but the male ego is fragile and that may or may not go against his image of what love and dedication is. He could implode, people commit murder over sexual things and being madly in love with someone. It's your deal and you are in the thick of it but I would personally want to know. I myself am a fucking weirdo and conventional relationships and love are foreign concepts to me so I would take it differently and I hate violence. People can hurt me in the worst way and I will never resort to violence but it is a very real possibility of being completely disillusioned and having your heart broken.
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i agree violence is silly. if i quit today is it ok to never tell my bf what i did? i've done favors for someone in my school 2 years ago and i'd not tell that to a future husband either :( so both are ok to keep secret?
 
So you're basically an escort that performs sexual favors for money... Thin line between that and a prostitute, but I'm not judging. It's certainly not fair for you to keep that kind of information to yourself and not tell a guy who may start to develop feelings for you. That's leading somebody on. It's best to be honest and upfront if you want a relationship to work out. A relationship without trust and honesty is shit.
Good Luck.
 
Honestly, if you quit now to have a chance at a normal relationship with your bf, then no I would not tell him. Cause probably he'd walk away and then you did it for nothing. It's different if you continue your job. Then if you don't at least somehow tell him you're not exclusive it's basically cheating.

But if you really want the normal relationship then quit the job and don't look back and don't bring it up to the bf.
 
Steroids said:
So you're basically an escort that performs sexual favors for money... Thin line between that and a prostitute, but I'm not judging. It's certainly not fair for you to keep that kind of information to yourself and not tell a guy who may start to develop feelings for you. That's leading somebody on. It's best to be honest and upfront if you want a relationship to work out. A relationship without trust and honesty is shit. Good Luck.
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thank, seems to be all perfect now, i even bring my bf lunch to his high school that he teaches at :)
crzydiamond said:
Honestly, if you quit now to have a chance at a normal relationship with your bf, then no I would not tell him. Cause probably he'd walk away and then you did it for nothing. It's different if you continue your job. Then if you don't at least somehow tell him you're not exclusive it's basically cheating. But if you really want the normal relationship then quit the job and don't look back and don't bring it up to the bf.
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thanks! i quit today, all over! my boss said i will change my mind and come back. but i love my new bf already and that is a FACT :D
 
Lol, Maxload! OP, glad u quit, sounds like some rich dick took advantage of you. Prostitution can seem like a good idea, but it definitely leaves people with a bit of baggage.
 
Great job on quitting. To be honest, your former employer seems like a complete douchebag. You will be much more happier now. Even if your current relationship does not work out in the future, don't go back to that shitty person your old employer is.
 
maxload said:
I'm curious, was your boyfriend ever your teacher at high school?
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when i was 15 but only that year + but i knew he lived on my street anyway and i saw him walk a doggy. he was married till last year so i never thought of him possible fun till now :)
CfZrx said:
Lol, Maxload! OP, glad u quit, sounds like some rich dick took advantage of you. Prostitution can seem like a good idea, but it definitely leaves people with a bit of baggage.
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i was maybe given the wrong ideas during school, girls said i could make money with boobs and my mum said to get a reduction cos she got a reduction for hers and i ignored mum :(
Steroids said:
Great job on quitting. To be honest, your former employer seems like a complete douchebag. You will be much more happier now. Even if your current relationship does not work out in the future, don't go back to that shitty person your old employer is.
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he took us places and made us wear bummy dresses which is embarrassing :( but my fault for staying anyway :) i was so dumb last year.
 
If you get paid by someone else to have sex with them or another girl while that person is watching then you are an escort(whore for money) regardless of how you justify your means of what you do! I'm sorry but you need to except what you are and what you do! If i was dating you I would expect you to tell me exactly who you are and what you do so that I can trust you as you would want from me correct? So how can you possibly expect someone to be honest with you if you have no intention of telling them who you really are? You say that you have quit your "JOB" right? You do understand that you are living a lie if you do not disclose what you really are to your current bf you are deceiving him and taking advantage of what he does not know! He would leave you and you know it and honestly you should let him because you are a liar and he deserves to be with someone who is not you! That is my honest opinion and if you stood before god what do you think he would think of what you are? It does not matter if you are religious or not THINK ABOUT IT REALLY FUCKING HARD!!!!
 
All these other people will tell you "oh you have a chance at a normal relationship" or "Don't tell him because it will all be for nothing if he leaves you" these people are deceivers and are enabling you to be one as well! Do what is right and tell this man what you are or what you "were". The reason for doing this is because you need to be honest with yourself because this will help you become a better person and will set your soul free from lies. If this man really wants to be with you then he will accept what you once were and love you none the less! You need to accept whatever happens! I don't care if anyone else agrees with me on this forum this is the truth and you all know it! THIS MIGHT BE HARSH TO SOME BUT IT IS THE ONLY WAY SOME PEOPLE WILL COME TO TERMS WITH THE RIGHT THING TO DO!!!
 
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Fine. this is the last time I'm posting to you. We discussed BF and chance for you to have children. I thought that was case closed, end of. You have had a straightforward suggestion to your self made dilemma. I feel this post should be ended because you have the answers you originally required. I and many other folk here (apart from poss pervs) should not be wasting any more time on you're 'situation'. Final resting pace for this is, how would you like your own children doing what you're doing?...This thread needs to be ended.
 
Sex work is not an inherently negative thing. If you are fine with it, if you can live with it, if you enjoy it than it's completely fine to do you are an adult and it's your body. It is highly stigmatized and as you know it makes it hard to find and keep relationships. It's you living your life and doing things that you are comfortable with but it presents a massive barrier for most people, especially when they expect a monogamous relationship. I can definitely empathize with your position but also his as well. The way it is, you don't know whether or not he would have had a huge problem with it.

If you quit and sacrificed a huge source of income, aspiring to do what you believe is best for him and yourself and your relationship I guess that shows you love him. I would have wanted to know, I still don't think it's right not to tell him but it's your life and if you love him and want the best for him and your relationship you can definitely make the choice not to tell him.
 
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