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I think I need rehab but I have no insurance..

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w0w0mg

w0w0mg

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 4, 2015
Messages
848
Location
In Jail, NC
Hey everyone, you all know who I am for the most part.
You have all seen my struggle with this addiction and I really think it's time for me to
go into an inpatient for a little bit.
The issue is I live in NC and I have no insurance.
Without insurance you have to pay out of pocket for 28 day + programs which I just do not have the money for.
My only option really is detox for 5 to 7 days. I just do not think it will be enough though.
Most of the places around where I am at don't have any taper meds and is just cold turkey under medical staff watch.
I want to go to the detox in Wilmington, NC because they do give you a light barbiturate to help get thru the acute WD.
My real issue is the xanax WD - I have had seizures coming off of xanax in 2012 and I do not want a repeat of that.

Should I maybe just try to IVC myself in the hospital? Only bad thing is that they send you to a mental ward, and I really dislike those places.
I just feel like I'm running out of options here.

Also; this all depends if I do not go to jail tomorrow. If I end up going to jail then everything goes out the window and I will be serving close to 2 years
in country jail (I don't even get to go to prison, which is horrible because county jail time goes by SO slow compared to the freedoms of prison.)

I just need a little bit of insight , suggestions and hope is all.
Thanks everyone.
Love you all.
 
Going into the hospital is not a bad idea since you need to come off benzos. Phych wards suck but in my experience they give out the best meds. They also know what rehabs have charity beds and are really good at finding placement into reputable long term programs. I advise you to avoid free rehabs like the plague salvation army ect as they are just work camps disguised as treatment.

I hope your court stuff goes ok tomorrow!
 
I agree that the hospital is your best option. You need taper meds and medical supervision. Also, rehab can be incredibly useful and I am fortunate to live in Canada where anyone can go for free but most people don't achieve sobriety solely from going to rehab and you absolutely can do it at home. It takes a lot of willpower and finding different addiction support programs to start meeting people to help guide you to where you want to be is key. I don't agree with the 12 step doctrine but I have still learned a lot about recovery and also about myself by observing others in recovery. Rehab is really beneficial but you can absolutely make it without rehab.

Quitting drugs involves restructuring all aspects of your life and finding out what you need to work on, the reasons why you reach for drugs. Is it self medication necause of your upbringing, mental illness, trauma? Are the people in your life bad for you and the goals you wish to accomplish? Do you hold a lot of shame and resentment of things others have done to you or things you have done to others? There are so many things to address but for now just focus on getting through acute withdrawal and after that focus on being healthy and then start thinking about the things about yourself and your life that you need to start making changes in. Also remember that if you do have a slip, don't beat yourself up or give up and allow it to turn into a full blown relapse. Just accept it for what it is and realize what lead to it and focus on making sure whatever that is, wont be a problem in the future. Every experience is a learning experience and there is something positive about everything that you can take with you to better yourself, never give up or wallow in self pity. Never remain stationary and never stop learning.

Good luck sir! (mame?)
 
I'm prescribed benzos but never abused them after seeing people in detox coming off of them. I agree with everything that's been said here. A medical detox is in order. As bad as alcohol withdrawal can be, it's a day at the beach compared to a benzo withdrawal. I also agree that the religion based rehabs should be avoided, but there are always other options. There is a county-run facility where I live in Orlando, Florida that operates on a sliding scale and if you are truly indigent, treatment is free. It's a far cry from the luxury rehabs so ubiquitous in Florida, but I've known plenty of people who got sober there.
 
I actually live in Wilmington, NC and went to WTC twice. I did a write up on the facility in one of the rehab stickies. I know for a fact that they will take people without insurance and do a sliding payment scale(?) where they change what is feasible for you to pay. I recommend calling or messaging their finance department and letting them know your situation and seeing what your options are.

I will warn you, they will not give you benzos. They do not taper, and will cut you off cold turkey. I went in 2010 for alcohol and benzos, all they gave me was an anti siezure med. Now they give you phenobarbital as well (they didn't when I first went), but you're still cold turkey and they do not prepare you for benzo PAWS at all. Do your research about benzo PAWS before you go and have a plan in place for when you get out because the PAWS will hit you shortly after treatment finishes.

If it's any consolation, I took my last benzo 14 Feb 2010. I ended up relapsing on booze (hence the second WTC visit), but haven't touched a benzo since. I relapsed because I was not prepared for the benzo PAWS, didn't know about it. In hindsight, if I had prepared for it I probably wouldn't have relapsed.

Good luck to you!
 
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Anti-seizure meds will still mitigate a lot of the risk and the phenobarbitol is a GABA agonist and will at least soften the blow. A benzodiazepine taper would be preferable but their medication regime seems like it would at the very least be effective at keeping people from seizing out and dieing.
 
If your talking about the Wilmington Treatment Center that place is a fucking joke and won't give you shit. I was throwing up constantly from Depakote and they told me either take it or have a seizure. Not even a fucking Librium after a couple days and I was prescribed 4mg\Xanax a day and an alcoholic pothead\opiate addict so I basically spent 4 weeks hoping to not die.

You got on drugs on your own and you can get off them on your own don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
 
weekend addiction said:
If your talking about the Wilmington Treatment Center that place is a fucking joke and won't give you shit. I was throwing up constantly from Depakote and they told me either take it or have a seizure. Not even a fucking Librium after a couple days and I was prescribed 4mg\Xanax a day and an alcoholic pothead\opiate addict so I basically spent 4 weeks hoping to not die.

You got on drugs on your own and you can get off them on your own don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Click to expand...

^very honest and accurate statement. However, if you're desparate it is medically supervised treatment and detox, albeit not pleasant. For me it was a way to remove myself from the ability to obtain substances. If you go there, do not expect any individual attention. You will see the shrink once for 5 minutes, and he will throw random medications at you not even looking at your file. Most of the counsellors are ill prepared, not very knowledgable, and have to high a case load to be remotely useful. Most of the other patients are court ordered and have no interest in getting sober. In short, anything you get from that program you have to work for and figure out yourself. Also, they are absolutely married to 12 step programs and you will be forced to attend meetings (I'm ambivalent to those programs, not knocking them but they are not for me). I could go on but won't because I left a detailed review in the rehab sticky. Essentially, if you're desparate it's a means to dry out but you will have find your own solution to PAWS and path to recovery. That being said, I have five years, soon to be six, free of benzos and over two years clean of alcohol. I am no longer on any prescription medications. I feel the best I've felt my entire adult life. I spent hundreds of hours researching PAWS and recovery and pieced together my own plan. WTC allowed me in enough sober days to implement my plan, and so far so good. I can honestly say I don't miss benzos or booze, and no longer obsess or substance or my addictions. I feel like my life as an addict is in the past and I can move forward. It's very liberating.
 
I tried moving away from everything and keep finding it.

I got hooked on heroin while living in Wilmington, nc. It is so flooded there.
I then moved to Raleigh and I ran into it again, now I am in Greenville.
I found it again from someone I met in NA!!!

I'm so tired... I don't even want to live anymore.
I have been IVing about a bun of heroin and doing 10mg + of xanax daily the last 2 days.
I have a little bit of heroin left for tomorrow and about 20 xanax 1mg left..
I have about an ounce of kratom (not that good quality).
I am trying to find a detox place but it's always first come, first serve and it even if I got in, they do not even
offer any sort of taper. I just moved my probation here to Greenville, NC.
When I saw her a couple days ago I failed for opiates and benzos, so now I have to get set up with TASC (which is better than jail).

I want to get all this shit out of my system before I meet my new PO here and pass my drug test, but I am afraid that they will hit me
with absconding. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place guys.

I just want to get clean again, I am so scared of the WDs... They're so so so bad and now I would be WDing off BENZOS and HEROIN??

I am lost
 
weekend addiction said:
If your talking about the Wilmington Treatment Center that place is a fucking joke and won't give you shit. I was throwing up constantly from Depakote and they told me either take it or have a seizure. Not even a fucking Librium after a couple days and I was prescribed 4mg\Xanax a day and an alcoholic pothead\opiate addict so I basically spent 4 weeks hoping to not die.

You got on drugs on your own and you can get off them on your own don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Click to expand...

Yes, I went to WTC a few years back. They do nothing for benzo withdrawals but Dr. G is quick to give you suboxone and give you a prescription when you leave out. WTC is a cash cow.
 
w0w0mg said:
I tried moving away from everything and keep finding it.

I got hooked on heroin while living in Wilmington, nc. It is so flooded there.
I then moved to Raleigh and I ran into it again, now I am in Greenville.
I found it again from someone I met in NA!!!
Click to expand...

In my experience, geographic cures rarely work. I'm no AA Big Book thumper, but I do believe that there's wisdom in the statement, "wherever you go, there you are." In other words, you can't rely on your external environment to overcome your mental/emotional problems that led you to use in the first place. The change must come first from within.[/QUOTE]
 
w0w0mg said:
I tried moving away from everything and keep finding it.

I got hooked on heroin while living in Wilmington, nc. It is so flooded there.
I then moved to Raleigh and I ran into it again, now I am in Greenville.
I found it again from someone I met in NA!!!

I'm so tired... I don't even want to live anymore.
I have been IVing about a bun of heroin and doing 10mg + of xanax daily the last 2 days.
I have a little bit of heroin left for tomorrow and about 20 xanax 1mg left..
I have about an ounce of kratom (not that good quality).
I am trying to find a detox place but it's always first come, first serve and it even if I got in, they do not even
offer any sort of taper. I just moved my probation here to Greenville, NC.
When I saw her a couple days ago I failed for opiates and benzos, so now I have to get set up with TASC (which is better than jail).

I want to get all this shit out of my system before I meet my new PO here and pass my drug test, but I am afraid that they will hit me
with absconding. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place guys.

I just want to get clean again, I am so scared of the WDs... They're so so so bad and now I would be WDing off BENZOS and HEROIN??

I am lost
Click to expand...

To me it sounds like you have 2 realistic options if you want to quit. One is long term inpatient rehab. I highly doubt 30 days is going to be enough at this point though it may get your PO off your back in the short term. The second is maintenance. It has a high chance of working for the opiates and most will be able to help set you up with a benzo taper. So yeah you should jump on one of those before the state decides on option 3 and you end up detoxing in jail.
 
ER's cannot send you out if you are a seizure risk. ER's are also supposed to have social workers who will connect you with treatment. You might have to be willing to setup a payment plan but your life is in danger. You or somebody you trust is really going to have to advocate for yourself. Surprisingly, that person might be your PO or somebody your PO can hook you up with. Treatment is still cheaper then jail so the incentive should be to go that route.

Also, this stuff varies state by state. My state is in a horrible condition due to budget issues, I literally almost lost a client (to death) because of this bullshit. I deal with this stuff on the daily and it really makes me want to scream so I will just stop now. Lots of us workers in the field really really want to help but our hands are tied because of the politics. Its fucked up and a disgrace.
 
weekend addiction said:
You got on drugs on your own and you can get off them on your own don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Click to expand...

Extremely dangerous blanket statement that is simply not true for many people. Please be cautious when saying things like this. It also can give the impression that it is "weak" to ask for help, when it isn't.

In fact, stats show that many people need multiple tries with help in order to successfully quit and then there is the whole issue of staying clean.
 
How do you stand with religion?
I would start looking for religious organizations that might be willing to help pay or run clinics if I was in a desperate situation unless you're strictly against it.
 
phactor said:
ER's cannot send you out if you are a seizure risk. ER's are also supposed to have social workers who will connect you with treatment. You might have to be willing to setup a payment plan but your life is in danger. You or somebody you trust is really going to have to advocate for yourself. Surprisingly, that person might be your PO or somebody your PO can hook you up with. Treatment is still cheaper then jail so the incentive should be to go that route.

Also, this stuff varies state by state. My state is in a horrible condition due to budget issues, I literally almost lost a client (to death) because of this bullshit. I deal with this stuff on the daily and it really makes me want to scream so I will just stop now. Lots of us workers in the field really really want to help but our hands are tied because of the politics. Its fucked up and a disgrace.
Click to expand...
Agreed I think that the ER is the best place to start OP.
 
Hey everyone - I made a thread on the DarkSide Section - I am going to try to do an at home detox taper with xanax and a small amount of suboxone.
I will go to the ER tomorrow and tell them what my plan of action is and see if they can give me something to help with the xanax WD so I don't have a seizure.
Thanks everyone.
 
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